Tripping Through: A Brenna Jones Story
by Irishlass18
Summary: After years of being Q's puppet,I have been given a "vacation."However my idea of vacation,with bottomless rum 'n' coke and warm beaches, is quite different from Q's.For instance, my vacation would not be aboard the Enterprise with a crew I should know and love but now don't recognize in an alternate reality.Doggone-it Q!Why are you such a heartless fiend?Stop dangling happiness!
1. A vacation: Not with Q around!

_For any newcomers to Brenna Jones-esque stories, there was a previous story-not required reading for this one but it might help considering I reference it a lot-under Star Trek Original Series entitled "Accidentally Going: A Brenna Jones Story." I dearly hope you enjoy this new installment, and again let me know what you like and don't like about the story. If you happen to have any requests for awkward moments feel free to include them in your review and I'll do my best to incorporate them._

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"Some people get a fifteen minute break every four hours, some can accumulate paid leave, sick days, and others even get maternity leave, though I certainly didn't—if anything you only capitalized on my condition." I studied my nails for a moment before sighing, "It took you seven years to decide to give me an 'undetermined amount of time for pleasurable study.' What does that mean anyway?" I held up my hand before he could reply. "Wait, don't tell me. It will be pleasurable for you, like it always has been, and I'll be the one studied, again just like always."

"You see that is why I chose you." Q clapped me on my upper back, sending all the air out of my lungs in a rush. "You are relatively quick to realize the obvious."

It took me a moment to breathe, and think, properly after that hit. "Too bad I can't join a worker's union against you. I'd have many complaints to file."

"Would you really want to file against me?" He rubbed his hands together in mischief and I sighed, knowing that would only make my life worse.

"You are sick, you know that right?"

His grin only broadened, "Now why would you say that?"

"Because you just are. How come you don't need a reason for anything but I always have to have a reason?" I knew there was no point in arguing but our "debates" were commonplace now and I engaged in them all the while knowing he'd argue me into a corner or pull one of his Q tricks in order to win.

"Because it's so much fun hearing you complain."

"Twerp." He snorted at my infantile insult.

I glanced around at my surroundings, the seriousness of what was about to happen again settling in the pit of my stomach, then turned back to him. "But why? After all these years and after all that's happened, why?"

He grinned that mischievous grin that always sent warning shivers down my back and shrugged, "You've done such a wonderful job these past few years, I figured I'd give you a treat. You were overdue for a visit after all."

"Yeah, but with the crew I knew!" I glared at him but knew it would do no good. "Not with this…this…alternate reality crew I've never met." I sighed, my shoulders slumping. "This is going to be so awkward."

He grinned even more, this time rubbing his hands together in glee, "That's what's going to make this all the more interesting to watch. I already did you a favor by allowing the previous crew to have memories of you through dreams, don't push your luck by actually thinking I'd let you go back to them." He frowned. "That'd be too easy for you and far too boring for me; besides the Continuum will allow me only so much wiggle room in regards to my playthings."

I glared daggers at him but kept silent. It was best to keep silent when he made threats and reminded me of how powerful he was and how pathetic I was. But it was nice to know that ultimately there was some force more powerful than Q and could somewhat keep him in line.

"I'm sure you'll do a fine job and I'll be quite entertained." He spoke up again, punctuating his words with an awkward pat on my back.

I looked over at him in surprise, "You mean you're not going to come with me on this little adventure you set up?"

"Nope," he smiled and patted my back again, "It's all yours this time. Do me proud will you?" Suddenly I was in babies' clothes and he held me in his arms. "You've grown so much in these past years." He kissed my forehead and then suddenly I was redressed and he was no longer holding me. And then just as suddenly as I changed, a boy was in his arms, not at all looking confused at the suddeninity of his appearance. He smiled and waved at me before looking up at Q. "So has Caiden hasn't he?" At my rather concerned look Q sighed and the boy disappeared, "Don't worry I'll still comply with your stipulations for care. Although I think this child needs more excitement in his life."

"He's associated with you and his mother 'works' for you; how much more excitement can a child get?" I knew Caiden would be safe, Q was trustworthy in that area alone, but whether or not Q would get into trouble with him was another matter. "Just don't take him to any place that eats children, or feed him too many sweets, or change him into anything or alter his age or-"

He gave me a hard slap on the back before he poofed into thin air. I hated it when he did that—just made me even more jealous of his abilities. The little twerp was part leprechaun part muse part devil part angel part worst nightmare part bully part 3-year-old part…something indescribable. I suppose "Q" was indeed the best way to describe the infamous Q himself. He was equally likeable and dislikeable, and yes that WAS possible.

He certainly had been a great help, and hindrance, during my pregnancy. While he'd hurried time and I didn't carry Caiden for nearly as long as the typical female, he also used my pregnancy against me and put me into some fairly awkward situations during that time. Just thinking about those moments made me shiver in embarrassment.

Now he had me entering into an equally awkward situation, though at least this time I wasn't pregnant, and thank goodness for that. Just thinking about interacting with certain individuals made butterflies form in my stomach; I certainly didn't need the added butterflies brought on by pregnancy. But still, it would be odd. People I thought I knew were going to be different and yet the same. This was going to totally suck and yet be fun at the same time. Curse Q! Why did he have to know me so well as to know that I'd find twisted enjoyment out of this challenge?

A deck finally shimmered into view before me and I refrained from double checking to make sure all of me had reformed correctly. After all these years of basically appearing and disappearing onto worlds, across realities, and into space vessels according to Q's whims, I should've been used to silly things like transporters, but I still got the uncanny sensation that perhaps something wasn't quite the way it had once been before the transport—like maybe my nose was in my neck or an ear was completely gone. I was reminded of Mac with my silly fears because he was exactly the same—well at least the Mac I'd known had been like that. Who knew what this Mac would be like…

I scanned the room, taking in the alien features mixed with the familiar ones. This was going to be like an acid trip, everything was going to make sense and not make sense at the same time. As I continued to look around the room a once familiar but now alien and much younger figure stepped forward, "Your orders, please."

I merely stared in dumb silence for a moment before that elusive eyebrow began to rise and I remembered my part in this farce set up by Q. I sheepishly handed him the orders and refrained from staring, though barely. I was to be the ship's assistant counselor, newly assigned. From what I'd gathered from Q, who hadn't dropped much, the ship was only recently replacing crewmen and heading out on a series of training drills before going on its first official peacetime mission—whatever THAT meant.

"Lieutenant Brenna Jones." I didn't think I'd get used to that but Q had insisted on giving me rank, the little devil. "Welcome aboard the Starship Enterprise. I am first officer Spock." His voice was more clipped than the other Spock, and his features harder. "If you'll follow me Lieutenant."

I was tempted to say something witty like "To the ends of the earth my darling," or "Only if you pay for dinner," but I knew now was not the time or place for my natural inclination for sarcasm and jocularity. In fact, now that I was in a Star Fleet uniform that tendency of mine would more than likely land me in the brig for insubordination or something like that. Best keep to dry humor then. I could do that, for short time frames—just like my attention span. Now I was aboard the new Enterprise and her different and yet similar crew.

"Well Lieutenant?" Spock now stood by the doorway and I found myself still gaping at everything. "You are coming." More a statement than a question and I realized I was NOT making a good impression thus far.

"Yes sir."

I quickly moved off the transporter pad, though not as gracefully as I would've liked. You know those women who are always graceful and seem to float through air? I'm not one of them. No, I'm more like an elephant on figure skates, blundering my way through the world. Thus it was no surprise, though it was still unwelcome, that I tripped off the transporter pad, bounced off a console—surprising the technicians stationed there—and landed in a heap at Spock's feet. I dreaded looking up at him so I didn't. I had to sit still a moment, in order to swallow past the curse I wanted to let out, before I bounced back to my feet, brushed off my aching bum and hip, and smiled cheerfully.

"Are you harmed Lieutenant?" Spock had not reached forward to help me, though I wasn't worried about that as it had happened so quickly.

I smiled, "Well you know what they say." He raised an eyebrow before I continued. "One small step for mankind." I winked at the closest technician and though I got a waning smile I knew I'd only confused them.

Spock raised an eyebrow, "I am vaguely familiar with that phrase, though I do not believe it was applied to such a situation."

"It was a joke First Officer Spock. Something to cover what would've been an awkward silence for me and the fellow humans in here. We often do that you know? Well maybe you don't know. But whenever we're embarrassed we often try to cover up our awkwardness with humor." I was blushing, I knew, but I continued on valiantly. "Or babbling, which I happen to be doing. Now, shall we proceed past my embarrassing moment?"

He left the eyebrow raised but nodded, leading me out into the corridor of a buzzing Enterprise that I would have to re-learn, and hopefully with better success than my previous episode. I knew there would be other awkward moments, soon to follow knowing my luck, but I didn't plan on seeking out such moments. They just happened to fall in my lap; like children sought out Santa's lap, awkward moments sought mine. Darn them…

"We will depart the station at 1330 hours. Until that time I will orientate you to your station." Spock stated, obviously believing that I'd be right beside him when he spoke, instead of lagging behind as I watched everyone in fascination.

I nodded silently, pinching myself to come back to reality. It had been too long since I'd been aboard the Enterprise. Well, seven years to be exact, and even then it had been a different Enterprise.

It almost felt like a dream to be here. However, this was no dream. This was reality. And this wasn't the Spock I'd grown to know and have an affectionate—though not at all romantic—love for. This was a different Spock, one who had lived different experiences than the Spock I'd known. (Although Q hadn't told me a lot about what was different in this reality, he had at least told me that no one was exactly the same and that it would be safer for me to not act familiar with any of them, though being Q, he encouraged me to do so anyways.)

Spock being Spock, he did not waste time chit chatting about my life, he'd probably read the report Q had created—I could only imagine all the fun facts Q'd thrown in. Knowing my luck he'd said something about me being an excellent negotiator with Cardassians—which I knew from experience that I was NOT. If anything I just pissed them off even more and ended up actually attracting them—and believe me that's NOT something you want to have happen any time soon. An attracted Cardassian can be likened to Jaws pursuing you up onto the beach and home with you to meet your parents. Not a pretty sight let me tell you.

As we rounded the corner I had to withhold my gasp of delight. Heading down the corridor towards us were Chekov and Sulu. Chekov barely looked old enough to be out of the Academy and Sulu was more filled out, though lacked the womanizing aura; since apparently everyone was so young, he had probably not developed that skill yet. Spock did not introduce us; I just happened to recognize them and barely kept myself from talking to them like old times. Gosh this was going to give me a raging headache!

"Who do you have there, Spock?" HIS voice stopped me in my tracks.

Of course HE'd be here, he was the freaking captain after all, but this was going to be difficult. My stomach twisted and I resisted the urge to clench my fists into tight balls. I felt my neck and cheeks heat and I tried to regulate my breathing more to calm my nerves. To look HIM in the eye and pretend he now meant nothing to me, to pretend that…oh it was going to be difficult with all of them but with HIM…gosh. Spock turned to face Captain Kirk and indicated me with a slight nod of his head.

"Captain Kirk this is Lieutenant Jones. She is the ship's assistant counselor."

As I turned I had to swallow past the lump in my throat. There HE stood, basically leering at me, and I could only smile and nod back at him as if nothing were out of the ordinary—though of course I was the one out of the ordinary. As I quickly studied him I was taken aback at how young he was, how green in the gills he appeared. My goodness how early was I in this timeline of events? They both, Spock and Kirk, looked like they were barely out of the Academy, and knowing my luck they probably were; ready and eager to take on the universe in one small ship—well it's not exactly small but compared to the whole freaking universe it is a mere speck.

I could see traces of "my" James T. Kirk in this mere slip of a man in front of me. A glimmer in his eyes, a playfulness about his lips, his stance, his voice…those traces would be the bane of my existence here. It would be those traces that tempted me to slip into familiarity with a man who did not know me or know about my history with his alternate self.

In any case this was going to be harder than I thought. However, hopefully with him being so young and with this being a different reality, this Kirk would have a significantly different personality. I was banking on the differences to protect my fragile heart. Even now, staring at his smiling face, I felt my heart strings tug this way and that as images of MY Kirk flashed through my mind.

Suddenly I blushed again when his facial expression changed ever so slightly from open friendliness to possible seductiveness. Apparently I'd been silently staring at him longer than was appropriate. Perhaps my silence had given him the idea that I was struck dumb with his hotness. Damn, that's all I needed.

"Welcome aboard Lieutenant. Do you have a name between Lieutenant and Jones or is that it?"

He had the charm of the old James, that would be difficult to handle, but he was rougher around the edges and that would help me immensely. This Kirk was probably my age or maybe even a year or so younger—it had been over seven years since the last _Enterprise_ incident. He also seemed to have a more forwardness that "my" James did not.

To be honest, sometimes I had to actually sit down in silence to think about my past in order to keep it alive as being around Q tended to distract one from reality. So many times I'd almost forgotten where I'd come from, who my parents were, whether or not I had a brother, that sort of thing. Thankfully though, I do remember all of the above, at least right now I do. And of course the presence of Caiden helped to remind me when all else failed.

"It's Brenna sir." I smiled at him, my good humor peeking through the instantaneous melancholy that'd hit me at the memory of my past life. "Brenna Jones."

He nodded, "Well I'm sure Spock will give you a good tour," he shared a wink and I had to stifle an urge to giggle, "and I'll see you later." He started away then turned around and came back, holding his hands up for emphasis. "Outside your office and off duty of course."

I grinned, "As I'm merely the assistant that may be arranged. However I will be briefed on all the crew." I winked back, surprising Kirk enough that he grinned. "Have to make sure no one has a screw loose."

"I don't know how screws factor into the mental stability of the captain, Lieutenant." Spock's voice reminded me of his presence and I again had to stifle the urge to giggle.

Kirk jerked a thumb in his direction, "We're still breaking him in on human idioms."

"I can see that." I smiled. "I look forward to seeing you again Captain Kirk."

"You can count on it." He gave me another suggestive smile then turned away.

As I watched him walk away, flashes of my time aboard the other _Enterprise_ nearly choked out my good humor and left me a bit melancholy once more. But when I realized that I was left with Spock, in the near deserted gangway, I turned to face him and gave a small smile. I pushed back my old memories and made myself resolute to the task of making new ones.

"You may proceed first officer Spock, I'm all ears."

He eyed me curiously, probably sizing up my ears and deciding whether or not to make a comment, before he nodded and turned back to the task at hand. As we walked I was given the opportunity to check him out, though I had to be extremely discreet since I swear he has eyes in the back of his head. He was thinner yet more powerfully built than the other Spock, though equally good looking. He appeared more aloof and less "human" than the other as well. I got the feeling that interacting with him was going to be akin to hugging an ice cycle, at least at first.

We ended up passing Christine, and she was even prettier than I remembered. I smiled and nodded at her and she returned the gesture, but nothing passed between her and Spock. In fact she didn't even acknowledge him. That was interesting. Then we rounded a corner and who should be standing there but Uhura.

"Commander Spock I have some readings on the Garian system that I would like to go over with you." She was tall, quite thin though curvy, and hot!

I watched as she continued to talk to Spock, though her words went over my head. I could tell from her body language that she had a bit more sass than the other Uhura. I also noted something strange that just didn't feel right. She was clearly exhibiting behavior that spoke of her attraction for Spock.

What? I didn't have to be a touch telepath or an empath, to see the sparks flying, at least from her end. That's shocking, and a little disturbing, to say the least. Spock and Uhura? Talk about weird! At least in the other 'verse it would've been. Maybe in this one it could work. But I didn't know how I felt having "my" Spock ogled over by another woman. (Just because I couldn't have him didn't mean anyone else could, besides I took care of him—well the other him—as a baby!) Though again this was a different Spock, and thus far, he hadn't exhibited any signs that could make him more endearing.

"Lieutenant Uhura this is Lieutenant Jones, she has just been assigned as the ship's assistant counselor." I gave Uhura a gentle smile and nod.

"Nice to meet you." She nodded in return then turned to leave, though not before shooting Spock another hungry look.

Spock did not shift uncomfortably, like I would've if I'd been in his shoes; however he did carry on the tour professionally. Some merits of being half-Vulcan I suppose, is being able to carry on despite crushing crewmates. I inwardly sighed in relief. If he continued to be this aloof then he wouldn't have to worry about me crushing on him. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened in this reality to cause such a change in him, but I figured I'd find out eventually.

By the time we made it to my station, my head was spinning with all the slight alterations. Spock had mentioned a few things here and there about scheduling and stuff, but it'd gone in one ear and out the other—a feat I'm quite good at. I was surprised that I had an actual office, just a small adjoining room to the head counselor's office. Of course, right before we went into my office, I heard Bones approach Spock, sounding not at all pleased with life.

"Who do I have to bribe to get the equipment I need around here?" He growled at Spock, not even taking notice of my presence right around the corner from him. "I'm a doctor not a magician, I can't make equipment and medicines appear out of nowhere, though from the way things are working around here you'd seem to think Starfleet thought I was."

Spock wasn't ruffled in the slightest, as usual, "Doctor McCoy no bribes will be necessary in order for you to receive your equipment. It is, in fact, on its way now. It was moved back in shipment in order for the ship's assistant counselor to arrive."

"So you took some old quack over my damn equipment?" He sounded incredulous and I almost had to cover my mouth to keep from laughing. "I hope you don't get sick any time soon, you or the rest of the crew for that matter, because I'll be working with tools from the dark ages in here!" He turned and started back into his office.

"Doctor McCoy." Spock's voice stopped him and he turned to glare at the Vulcan. "Would you care to meet the 'old quack' as you so described our new assistant counselor?"

"Where is the old coot?" I heard him stalking closer and I steeled myself for his reaction. "I better get this done with, I have better things to do then chatter with old-" His words died in his mouth when he rounded the corner and saw me, and in fact my expression fell into one of shock when I saw him.

I really was early in this timeline because there standing before me was a McCoy I actually found myself physically attracted to. He was tall, powerfully built, with dark brown hair and equally dark brown eyes. I knew that if we got drunk together and ended up in bed there would be no innocent sleeping, not with this McCoy. I'd take full advantage of his inebriation, to put it lightly. As I stood there blatantly attracted to him already, suddenly Mac's words from the other reality came back to haunt me, "Give my younger self a chance will ya?" Oh boy would I! When Bones continued to remain silent and Spock shifted slightly I knew I'd better say something.

"Contrary to popular myth, not all counselor's are old, not all old men like to chat, and obviously I am both a woman and young-ish." I extended a hand and a warm smile, doing my best to rein in my attraction. "Lieutenant Brenna Jones. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that you're Doctor Leonard McCoy, head physician." I pulled my hand back after a hearty, though absent minded on his part, handshake.

My words and movements seemed to shake him out of his stupor and he finally looked sheepish, "I'm sorry Miss Jones, if I'd had known who you were I never would've said those things."

"It's Lieutenant, Doctor McCoy, not Miss." Of course Spock had to correct the poor doctor.

McCoy shot Spock a death glare then turned a smile on me, "I hope you can forgive my hasty words and allow me a fresh start in getting better acquainted with you."

Oh gosh that Southern charm, he had it turned on and that flattered me to no end because I knew in the other reality he only did that when he was physically interested in someone. Well if I wasn't in uniform and forced to comply with Starfleet regulations as a result, I'd blatantly and unashamedly flirt right back with him, consequences be damned.

"Well I'll be happy to get to know you better," I grinned at him, "when you visit me in my office for the mandatory meeting with all ship's personnel." I gave him a suggestive smile before I turned to Spock, "Onward ho, first officer Spock."

He raised an eyebrow before preceding me into my office where I knew he'd give me the rundown of my duties and schedules and yada yada blah blah. I eyed McCoy once more before disappearing into my office, and the verbal clutches of Spock. Bones had only smiled back, but before he turned to head back into sickbay I noticed that he'd checked out my bum. I smiled to myself as I continued to listen to Spock. This was going to be most interesting indeed.

After Spock gave me the rundown on my duties, again, and shifts, again, he handed me some PADDs that I was to look through and familiarize myself with. By the time he left me to my own devices it had been over three hours since I'd first arrived. When I was in the clear, I fell into my now to be known uncomfortable office chair and sighed.

I made a mental checklist of things different and similar that I would have to be well aware of whenever I interacted with people I'd been close to before.

-Spock was tenser, more aloof, harder to read, younger

-Kirk was younger, harder to read as well, in some ways rougher around the edges, still a womanizer

-Chekov and Sulu were both younger, appeared to be friendly, still unknown in other areas

-Christine appeared to be friend, also younger, from her walk also appeared to have more sass as well, much still unknown

-Uhura was definitely more sassy and forward, appeared to have the hots for Spock, a bit intimidating actually

-McCoy was hot, hot, hot, younger, sexier, and was going to be hard to resist

-Scotty unknown on all counts

Satisfied with my mental checklist I perused the PADDs until I came across my own personnel file. I let out a hoot of laughter, since crying was useless, as I came to know what I was apparently like in this universe.

**Personnel File**

**Full Name:** Brenna Marie Jones

**Date of birth:** May 22, 2228

**Place of birth:** St. Louis, Earth

**Marital Status: **Unknown

**Education:** University of St. Louis, 2243-2247; Starfleet Academy, 2249-2253

**Rank: **Lieutenant First Class

**Serial number:** FD657-2914 VET

Parents deceased; brother served onboard the USS Tolstoy and was reported MIA when the ship failed to return from the Gutlern System. Currently has one son with father unknown. No other reported significant family members. Son is attended to by friends while Lieutenant Jones is on mission.

**University of St. Louis Advisor Note: **Ms. Jones has displayed an uncanny ability for ending up in rather "odd" situations but has never panicked and has always somehow managed to explain herself; no matter the situation it always appears to have a logical explanation in regards to her. Quite an original thinker, and though her opinions were not always the "norm" she always gave logical reasons for her actions-this could sometimes be disturbing as sometimes her actions appeared to be most illogical. A free spirit that can be difficult to pin down and almost bohemian at times; however, in spite of all these rather unorthodox qualities, Ms. Jones was an above average student; with the exception of classes that she deemed "unworthy" of her attention; in these classes she was only average. Though she could easily move on to higher studies or even into the working field as an expert on body language, alien fertility dances, and 20th century Swahili poetry, Ms. Jones has expressed an interest in Starfleet, much to my own chagrin. She refuses to be dissuaded and is most resolute in her decision. While there is no technical reason for me not to recommend her to the Academy, I do have my personal reservations. She questions orders, even in class; she fights against orders that she feels are inefficient; she again has a knack for finding "trouble" as it may be called; and may we be spared if she becomes a captain. However, despite my own uncertainties I do believe she is a hard worker and perhaps a little more discipline in her life will serve to smooth out her "rough" edges.

**Starfleet Academy Advisor Note: **Lieutenant Jones was an exemplary student at the Academy, scoring above average marks in most of her classes-the exceptions being those she deemed "unnecessary" for her training; however, even in these classes she scored average marks. Only minor incidents involving the authorities on the Mars and Venus colonies mar her record. (Please refer to Section 1A-5 regarding this incidents). Although Lieutenant Jones' attitude often goes against the grain, and she on occasion challenges authority and makes efforts to do things "more efficiently and effectively," she also displays a ready ability to adapt to uncommon situations and works well under extreme pressure. A likeable person, Lieutenant Jones has also displayed a knack for befriending almost anyone. She excels in xenosociology and I would recommend her as a permanent consultant in matters of alien sociology, especially those regarding more "intimate" features. Lieutenant Jones excels at performing alternative actions in ordinary duties, and while this may seem unorthodox, her excellent performance balances out the deviations from regular protocols. I would highly recommend her to any position that guarantees a firm superior officer that would allow her to use her rather unorthodox techniques. May I add also, good luck to any such officer.

**Commissions:** USS Defiant-2 months. USS Lexington-2.5 months. USS Charleston-4 months. USS Enterprise-Pending.

As I read my personnel file I had to stifle my laughter. I was surprised that Q hadn't put more embarrassing features on my file-like I had dropsy syndrome or meowed like a cat when under pressure-though I wasn't surprised to see the small details that spelled me out to be some sort of a know-it-all hippie that liked to challenge authority and be, in general, unorthodox. To be honest, I was rather unorthodox, but not nearly to the extent that Q had me pictured. Of course back home I suppose my behavior would make me Californian-bless those tree-hugging pot-smoking souls.

But my stereotypes on Californians aside, how in the world did Q arrange for Spock to actually approve my transfer onboard with that type of file? I knew Spock was the first to see the files and though he always gave them to Kirk to go over, he could easily have left mine out. From what I remembered on the other Enterprise, personnel like me were not often even admitted to Starfleet, let alone posted on Starships. But instead of being overlooked I'd gotten approved, thanks to Q, and now here I was sitting in my office getting better acquainted with the subtle changes.

I'd already pulled up personnel files on those who had been closest to me in the other reality and I'd been relatively shocked at the changes in their histories. Some histories were for the better but for the most part they were for the worst. I was now surrounded by an even angstier and more cynical crew than the one I'd encountered before.

Of course this crew had every reason to be angsty, especially considering the most recent events. The ship was only now leaving Earth's orbit to go on a weeklong drill before returning to aid in transporting the Vulcan refugees to their new home planet.

I shook my head in disbelief. I could hardly fathom the fact that the entire planet of Vulcan was gone. No wonder this Spock was more aloof than the other. No wonder they all seemed younger and greener. They'd all been called out of Academy and thrust into the "real" world prematurely.

I could understand the difficulty that came from being thrust into great uncertainty. Right after I had Caiden I honestly hadn't known what would happen—which was a near permanent thing when working with Q though. I didn't know if he would allow me to keep Caiden with me on my "assignments" or if he would speed up time so Caiden would suddenly be an adult or what. The uncertainty had nearly choked me until Q had acted like a responsible adult, a rare feat, and sat down to explain me the rules of our arrangement:

1) Caiden would remain with Q, Patricia and James, or my brother while I was on assignment

2) I would be allowed daily if not weekly visits with Caiden while on assignment

3) Q would not speed up Caiden's aging process nor would he interfere with Caiden's intellectual or emotional development

4) Q would never purposefully put Caiden in danger—of course I did not have that same promise but I was used to Q's double standards

I smiled as I thought of my son. He was quite the character. Of course having grown up with Q, he had a knack for finding trouble, but also like Q, he had a knack for getting out of it. Q had offered to give Caiden powers but I told him he could give Caiden powers as an eighteenth birthday present. Sometimes Q surprised me with how compliant he was to certain wishes that I had, mostly all involving Caiden. Perhaps Q had a soft spot for the boy, and perhaps for me. Maybe becoming a father himself in the time we'd been together, though with another Q, had softened him up a bit.

I sighed and shook my head. I wasn't too excited about the fact that Q had included Caiden in my file. That would, or could, bring up questions that I would rather not answer, especially with certain individuals. Just the thought of having to answer those questions made my stomach do flip-flops as it brought back memories from my old life aboard the other Enterprise. Sitting here thinking about it all, my life was really very complex. All the time travel and alternate reality stuff...Einstein would've loved my life-or he'd get a headache like I usually did when trying to keep everything straight.

Suddenly I pushed thoughts of my son and old life aside and concentrated on the computer screen again. If I thought too much about Caiden or my life on the old Enterprise I'd be more likely to slip up here. I had an opportunity to explore new relationships and compare them to the old ones. My slate was clean and I had a "duty" to live that up. I also knew that I'd better put on a good "performance" for Q or else I'd probably get into trouble.


	2. Getting settled and damn interuptions

"Hey."

Have I mentioned that I don't handle surprises well? In any case, when McCoy's voice suddenly sounded in my door I jerked and fell out of my chair. Graceful I am not, accidental comic relief I am. In any case I managed to poke my head above my desk from my new kneeling position on the floor before he even moved from his spot in my doorway. Of course his smile had turned to a look of general confusion with a spice of amusement added in for flavor.

"Is that how you always greet your visitors?" his amusement laced voice was like music to my ears-darn I'm waxing poetic now.

I grinned as I carefully stood up, "No I think it's just you. You are, after all, the first one."

"Don't know how I feel about that." He stepped more fully into my office and I realized again how beautiful he was, and how much bigger he was. "Never really took to shrinks well."

"Just think of it as your uncanny ability to sweep me off my feet." I gave him a wink and watched as a devilish grin spread across his face. "In any case, what'd you come by for?"

"You interested in grabbing a bite to eat? You've been cooped up in here long enough I'd say." Oh he was lovely, just lovely. "We're due to start drills in a few hours now that we've warped out of orbit and I figured we could eat in the down time. Get to know each other a little better."

I hadn't realized that I'd been studying files for that long, or had missed that much. Of course I preferred not knowing whenever we warped. I still didn't trust the idea of warp.

I smiled, "Sounds grand. I do feel like a bit of fresh air." I scrunched up my face. "Well different air I suppose. The air in this ship is all re-circulated anyway so I wouldn't exactly call that fresh." I blushed, "Sorry, sometimes I babble." But only when I'm around beautiful men or awkward situations, which sadly usually happen together.

"A little babbling here or there isn't all bad." After giving me another suave smile he frowned up at the ceiling while I got myself together. "Damn ships. I hate space."

I chuckled as I drew near, "Then why on earth did you come out here?"

"Well my dear that is quite a story." He gestured for me to precede him out into the corridor. "And I'll be happy to entertain you over dinner."

I chuckled again as we walked towards the mess hall. "I'm sure."

His hungry look made me remember the only other time I'd given in to such a look and that from a different man. This put a dampener on my joviality but I quickly regained it when McCoy cracked a few more jokes. This entire episode was going to be rife with ups and downs for me, and I knew Q would enjoy every minute of it. Damn him.

"What sort of drills will we be conducting?" I asked to steer him back to more "kosher" ground and away from so much flirting, which would only get me into trouble.

"You're asking the wrong man darlin'. If you're really that curious you should go find Spock and ask him. However, I'm sure you have a few drills yourself that you'll be going through at some point in time with your staff."

I went over the orientation the head counselor had given me and I nodded, "Our drills aren't due to start for a few days yet. In the mean time we are all supposed to do our 'homework' on personnel."

"So how much dirt do you have me already?" He smirked.

"Enough for blackmail."

He laughed as we entered the mess hall and set about getting our food. Once we were properly settled over food and had taken a few bites I referenced back to my earlier question. He thought quietly for a moment before he smirked.

"Damn wife took everything I had after the divorce. Even the practice wasn't worth much after her. A few drinks too many and I found myself actually contemplating Starfleet. At the time it seemed to be the only option left."

"You could've always gone to the other side of the planet, or to a colony somewhere."

McCoy shook his head, "I wanted to do something drastic. Something to show her I wasn't the washed up 'old man' that she accused me of being." He shrugged. "So I joined an organization that puts kids in the pilot seats."

"And what a ride they bring eh?" I smiled across at him. "In any case, do you think it was a good decision in the end? I mean has everything worked out the way you'd hoped?"

"Nothing ever does," his face grew shadowed, "death and destruction always gets in the way of hope for a better tomorrow. That's what these kids don't seem to realize. They have all these grand dreams of going out and spreading the good news of the Federation and conquering the bad guys and bringing universal peace to the galaxy." He scoffed. "A bunch of hogwash all of it, especially given the most recent events. The Federation can't handle itself because it is corrupt from the bottom to the top, the bad guys are often on the 'good' guys' side, and there will never be universal peace because in the end we're all selfish bastards, no matter what race you come from."

I let his words sink in, fully realizing that he was most definitely correct on many points, but also that he was a burned-out, very cynical man that could deal with a little more light in his dark demeanor.

"Can you fault them for their bright hopes? They have their whole life ahead of them, and perhaps they are even more hopeful since they managed to survive the most recent crisis. But isn't that what being young is all about? Learning to see things more realistically through trial and error? Though recently we've all seen our fair share of destruction, and I think that may have put a dampener on everyone's naivety. I think that though this crew if quite young they have good leaders and have conducted themselves admirably under the hardest trial yet seen."

He paused this time, allowing me time to wolf down food and drink and push away my plate. When he spoke again he glanced at my plate and smiled.

"Afraid I wouldn't give you another chance to eat?"

"Blood sugar problem." He raised an eyebrow so I continued. "Nothing serious, just need to keep food in my belly or I get dizzy."

"Let me know if I can help with that." I nodded. "But back to what you were saying. Sure a lot of these young whelps have learned how to be real men and woman through the past few months; however that doesn't change the fact that they still have this naive notion about right and wrong. Things aren't always clear cut and dry like they think it should be."

I smiled, "Answer me this Mac," I didn't really notice dropping my old nickname for him until I saw his expression change, "Sorry if you don't like the name, just sort of slipped out."

"No its fine, I've just not been called that in a long time. Around here it's either Bones or Doctor McCoy." He rolled his eyes at the last bit and I smiled.

"He is a bit uptight isn't he?" I commented referencing back to Spock.

Mac shook his head and fiercely stabbed at his food, "He's a pointy earred bastard. Sure he can stand his ground against Jim and all his reckless follies but that doesn't endear him to me or anyone else."

"Yes, to be quite honest, when I first met him I thought someone had put something hot and pointy where the sun didn't shine."

Mac nearly spit out his food over my comment, his eyes watering as he tried not to choke. I only grinned at his struggles and cast a smile or two at some of the inquisitive stares Mac's antics drew.

"I'll have to remember that one. But what were you going to ask me?"

I tipped my head to the side to think for a moment then nodded, "Oh I was going to ask, are you cut and dry? Does your character and your perception on life remain the same at all times? Are you a truly black and white person?"

"I think I see where you're going with this Brenna."

I nodded, "Well if you do then you tell me what point I was going to make."

"I should have more empathy for my fellow man and allow them to screw up to their heart's delight because I am allowed my own screw-ups."

"Well," I smiled, "I don't think I was going to say it quite like that but perhaps you got the gist of it."

"I'd much rather get to the gist of whether or not you're free for dinner tomorrow evening."

He'd turned the conversation back to flirtatiousness so quickly it made my head spin. I could only chuckle as I agreed. This was most certainly going to be an interesting relationship that I formed with him. One that held great promise and one that made me warm up inside. Hopefully this warmth wouldn't start to simmer any time soon because I certainly didn't need that.

We continued the evening pleasantly enough and he escorted me back to my office. By the time he left me I was thoroughly fighting a crush on him and I knew it could only get worse. I would have to be on my guard against that, unless I wanted trouble. He was walking trouble, just as much if not more than James had been.

I had to fight the internal battle I always fought whenever I thought of James when I found myself attracted to someone new. I wasn't being unfaithful; I would never see the man again. I had every right to move on to someone new, and yet in the seven years since, I had only come "so" close to others before an image of James would stop me.

Here and now, surrounded by the unfamiliar familiar I was most curious if I would finally be able to move on, with whomever—not that I was banking on hooking up with any of the crew—or if I was doomed to always be hung up on a "fictional" character. I went to sleep with these heavy thoughts, hoping that in the following days I would be distracted from the pain.

Over the following week I had dinner with McCoy, or Mac as he allowed me to call him, nearly every evening. The ship went through the drills without a hitch, we weren't interrupted by any pressing needs to rescue a planet or attack by alien vessels. In fact, the drills had been so successful, we were rendezvousing with a science team on a remote colony to transport the team back to Earth since they had finished their term on the colony. It had been surprising to me how easy everything had been, but of course I knew that could change as quickly as Q's moods. We still had two weeks left of the new mission before we got back to Earth so anything could happen.

During this time I also became more aware of what my duties were and more aware of what Starfleet regulations were—being interested of course in seeing if a relationship with a fellow senior officer was against regulations or not (I was delighted to find that it was never completely defined in the regulation handbook, almost like another 'don't ask, don't tell' policy of the modern military). This of course served to satisfy my curiosity about Spock and Uhura—who seemed very much like a couple to me—and even though I wasn't PLANNING on it, it did satisfy any questions I might've had regarding a possible relationship between myself and Mac, or whomever

The better part of the week, as the drills were quite boring, was spent getting more acquainted with the crew. I tried to single out the crewmembers I'd been most familiar with on the other Enterprise—of course I did this in a non-stalking manner. I found them to be just as pleasant and endearing as the old crew, though again different enough to remind me to give them a chance to establish a different sort of relationship with me.

Christine was definitely more sassy and playful, and less demure than the other. She had just as much strength as the other Christine, but more readily seen. She bantered right back with Mac and I was surprised that Mac hadn't fallen head over heels for her. But when I asked her about it she merely said that the Doctor wasn't her type and it would be weird to get romantic in Sick Bay.

Scotty, I found, was much more sarcastic and playful than the other, also much younger, with a much thicker accent. He was a delight to encounter, which we did a few times, and I was quite delighted when he invited me to join him and some of his crewmate cronies every Wednesday night for good old fashioned Bridge parties—yes this Scotty played Bridge.

I smiled to Ensign George as I passed him in the corridor; he was a new crewmember who, once he discovered I "knew" 20th century Swahili poetry, had immediately sought me out. Darn Q. I'd had the darndest time explaining my way out of that blunder. Thankfully Ensign George had forgotten about as much as I'd never learned so we were about on the same playing level whenever he sought me out to discuss a poem.

"Hey Lieutenant!" I turned and found a near panting Sulu quickly coming up behind me.

I eyed his state and cocked my head to the side in question, "I understand that I can be pleasant to be around but I wouldn't advise over-exerting yourself just to bask in my presence."

"Oh." He chuckled in between breaths. "I just needed to ask you a quick question is all."

"And you needed to barrel down the hallway at full speed to ask me a question? You know there is the inter-com system, I do have an office, and you could always leave a message on my computer."

He was already flushed so I couldn't tell if he blushed or not, but he did look a little sheepish for a moment, "I just saw you and it reminded me about the question. Sorry, I wasn't exactly thinking that far ahead. If you're busy I can just leave a message later." He made like he was going to leave but I stopped him.

"What is it Sulu?" I smiled, he really was adorable and perhaps I shouldn't tease him like that.

"How good are you at acting?"

I barely kept from laughing as images of the things I'd had to do under Q's "orders" came flashing before my mind's eye, "I think I can handle my own on stage. Why?"

"Well I'm sure you're aware that it's Valentine's Day coming up this weekend and we've been given permission by the captain to host a get together for the crew." He paused as I'm sure he tried to recollect all his wandering thoughts. "A couple of us came up with the idea of putting on a show or a play or something for some entertainment that night."

I smiled, "So you thought you'd ask me to help? I'd be happy to help in anyway way I can but may I ask, why me?"

"I've basically asked everyone else." He did look sheepish then and I smiled even more. "So you'll help out?"

"Of course. Do you know what play?"

"Well I was thinking _Romeo and Juliet_. It's a very famous ancient Earth classic and I think the playwright, what was his name again?"

"Shakespeare."

"Yeah, I think he had some pretty good lines if my memory serves me right."

I grimaced, "You sure you want to do that on Valentine's Day? It's not a romantic comedy Sulu, it's a tragedy. I hate to ruin it but the boy and girl die in the end. Not to mention the fact that the language is rather difficult to memorize quickly and perform just by this upcoming weekend."

"Really?" He ran a hand through his hair, not realizing he made it look quite messy and very cute.

"Yup 'fraid so. How about I look around for some other ideas and present them to you and whoever else is on this planning committee and we see what else we can come up with?"

He grinned, "That'd be great! Thanks Lieutenant!" He gave another grin before heading back the way he'd come.

I watched as he disappeared before turning and heading back towards my office. This Sulu wasn't quite the womanizer like the other one either. He was jovial and fun to talk to but he hadn't quite gotten the womanizing thing down yet. In fact, he actually bumbled around sometimes, which was endearing but far from hot-though I still found him aesthetically pleasing.

Chekov was also harder to understand, in a number of ways beyond his accent and was freakishly young; at one point in time I thought I heard his voice crack. What the hell? Was Starfleet allowing prepubescent kids in now? However, he was adorable and sweet and a genius and just adorable. I had to keep myself from going "aw" whenever I interacted with him. If we did a play, especially Shakespeare, I wouldn't be surprised if just to keep it in the style of Shakespeare we had Chekov cross-dress.

"Oh hello Brenna." I looked up to find Christine and I smiled as I drew nearer. "I was wondering if you could help me for a moment."

"What's up?"

She looked a little confused for a moment and I mentally frowned. That little saying, along with more than a few others I'd grown up with, had died out long ago. Already onboard I'd been teased about speaking like someone from the 20th century, and that was "soooo long ago," and I was just "sooo old fashioned." Of course I just laughed, though for a completely different reason than they did. According to their stardate I truly was "sooo old."

"Well Sulu came by and asked if I'd be his Juliet." She blushed. "I was just curious if he'd asked you the same thing and also," she leaned a little closer, "do you think he was trying to be literal or if he was referring to the play he's trying to put together for Valentine's Day?"

I barely kept from giggling, "He didn't ask me to be his Juliet, from the looks of things I think he may have been trying to be coy in his expression of interest in you, and perhaps at the same time he may have been trying to ask you in a roundabout way to help him with the play." I shrugged but continued to smile. "I suppose you'll have to decide what he meant exactly."

"I suppose so." She looked past me in the direction Sulu disappeared. "He is attractive isn't he?" I nodded and she blushed. "It is just so early you know? It feels like we're still recovering from Nero's attack. I just don't know." She sighed before looking back to me. "Are you going to help with the play? You are so much more educated on older literary things and I think an older play would be delightful."

"Yes I'm going to help. I talked him out of doing _Romeo and Juliet_ and told him I'd look around for something else."

"Good. I was confused why he'd want to do a tragedy. I love tragic love stories, don't get me wrong, but on Valentine's Day?" She chuckled. "A little fatalistic don't you think?"

I shared a laugh before we parted ways. As I turned away I thought a little more on Christine. This Christine also had little to no contact, or interest, in Spock; possibly in part due to the territorialness of Uhura.

I rolled my eyes as I thought about Uhura. She was very efficient, quick, and mostly friendly, but my goodness that woman was like a freaking lioness in regards to Spock! Just the other day I gave Spock a smile after he said something somewhat "nice" to me and she glared so many deathly daggers at me I thought my heart would explode—if she'd had the power for it to do so I would be dead right now. So note taken: don't even look at Spock when Uhura is around unless you want to die many deaths.

I continued my mental "roll call" of personalities once I entered my office and dropped the PADD's I'd been carrying. Everyone was personable in their own way and equally likeable, thus far—save Spock and Uhura. Then there was HIM. Kirk was a bundle of energy, always curious and nosey, almost like a hyper teenager. He was witty and sly and very mischievous. He was equally endearing and obnoxious. He definitely thought he was a sex god, and that was a turn off, though in my deepest, darkest mind I found it a turn on—maybe I should've gone into psychiatry after all. While the womanizing of the other Kirk was more like a fall back maneuver in tight situations, this Kirk just flirted for the joy of flirting, and seduced for the joy of sex—well it was a coping mechanism also.

This Kirk was younger, had a stronger libido, so I suppose that accounts for that. He used his charm to maneuver in ways the other Kirk didn't have to. That was probably because the other Kirk had been older and had more of a reputation. This one was still green, minus the epic battle he'd just pulled through against that psycho Romulan. This Kirk had moments where I could see an exact replica of the Kirk I'd known and it made my heart ache to be around him. Perhaps this Kirk thought I hated him with how many times I avoided him or evaded his invitations to chess but I can only handle so much heartache before I go insane.

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out, rolled my neck, cracked my fingers, and cleared my mind for the mind gratingly boring work I was about to launch into. So far life had settled into a pleasant routine that was almost "normal" considering this wasn't supposed to exist. However, perhaps I should've realized that it only gets easy before it gets really, REALLY awkward.

"Lieutenant Jones."

I know I mentioned earlier that I don't startle prettily so it should come as no surprise that when I heard Spock's voice in my doorway I nearly jumped in my chair, thus resulting my knee banging quite painfully underneath my desk. I bent over and moaned to myself, rubbing at the still aching joint.

"Yeah?" I mumbled, waiting until the pain had receded before I looked up and added, "Sir?"

"May I have a word with you?"

I gestured for him to sit down, "How may I help you?"

He stepped more fully into the room but did not sit down. Instead he eyed my office and the subtle more homey changes I'd done then looked back down to me, having brought his hands up to clasp behind his back. Wow, he looked and moved so much like the other Spock that again it almost hurt to look at him.

"You were away from your office for almost two hours. You did not take your communicator with you and you did not leave notice nor lock up your office while away."

Oh great. I get to have a lecture from the green-blooded bastard. Oh goody goody...damn.

"That is correct sir." I stood up and clasped my hands in front of me. "I apologize for that. The leave was sudden as I'd been invited to dine with Lieutenant Scott. I was distracted momentarily and forgot to lock up and take my communicator."

He nodded, "Distractions cannot be used as excuses and careless behavior such as this will not be tolerated onboard this ship. This incident will be recorded on your file."

I swallowed my biting retort and nodded, giving off submissive body language to try to diffuse any more lecturing. He nodded back to me and then turned to leave.

"If Lieutenant Scott invites you to dine with him again be sure to inform him that he too should remember to take his communicator with him."

He left after that and I sat down with a sigh. Spock made it both easy and difficult to settle in, so much like the person that he was. I found that this Spock was a lot, well, not exactly meaner but definitely harsher and less inclined to joke than the other had ever been—even on a bad day. Though the other one only made subtle jokes he was still, in general, a whole heck of a lot more pleasant to be around than this one was.

This Spock appeared to have eaten a lemon at near every hour and he was tougher and less likely to open up than the other one as well. I did understand why he was like this; he had lost a mother and a PLANET after all. I'm sure I'd be less jovial as well, not that the other Spock could ever have been described as jovial. However he was still a jerk sometimes.

I sighed again before sitting up and getting back to work. I would just have to learn to cope with the changes in all the people here. Give them all a chance to establish themselves as different entities altogether. I should probably stop comparing them to their counterparts. It would just take some time for me to do that.

I hadn't been working more than two hours when yet another interruption caused me to fall out of my chair. This one was even more unprecedented than the last one and this one resulted in my falling flat onto the floor.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed as I hopped up from the ground and looked out my door to make sure no one was there.

"Well a certain someone missed you." Q was pushing the items on my desk around idly as he spoke. "So I thought now would be a good time to tell you to step it up a notch because you're boring me." He grinned menacingly at me and I sighed. "Also I figured you could use a little 'mommy time.'"

I raised an eyebrow, "Why are you being so considerate all of a sudden?"

"Because I know something you don't know."

"Q you always know something I don't know. Now instead of teasing me with the inevitability of my future mishaps why don't you let me see my son for a few moments?"

Just as quickly as Q appeared Caiden did, though he was sitting in the chair across from my desk chewing on something.

"Mommy!" He jumped up, leaving the sticky item in the seat, and wrapped his equally sticky arms around my neck. I held him close, closing my eyes as I soaked up the moment. I suppose I'm just like any other "working" mother, desperate for the moments I can spend with my child. Of course my job didn't exactly come with references.

I grinned before kissing the top of his head, "Hey baby! How are you? What have you been up to?"

"Aunt Patricia took me to see the Great Wall of China! It was so big! There were so many people working on it. A few people got hurt but Aunt Patricia said that was okay because when they were taken to the bottom of the Wall there would be doctors down there to make sure they were fine."

I mentally groaned. Patricia still worked for that silly agency that allowed her time travel so, more than likely, she'd taken Caiden back to the building of the Great Wall and he'd witnessed the torturous conditions those workers had to endure. I would have a word with her later. If she wanted to take him someplace special why couldn't she take him to some time, or place, that was a little less violent? But knowing her she'd only take him to watch a supernova, the sinking of the Titanic, or other such things.

"That sounds very exciting. What else have you been doing? What are you eating? It smells yummy." It did have an almost sickeningly sweet odor to it, and it left a nice sticky stain on my seat and now my fingers.

"Oh Uncle Q got it for me when he picked me up. He said it's from the Huruvian system. He said it was so yummy it would keep me up for days." And indeed Caiden did have an almost manic gleam to his eyes and I was sure he was two steps away from blast off.

I looked up at Q, "Well if that's the case then I'm sure Uncle Q will be taking you to quite a number of places the next few days. Won't you Uncle Q?"

Q looked up from picking at his cuticles, "Of course. I know a perfect little getaway on a Cardassian colony that I'm sure Caiden would love." I glared daggers at the incorrigible fiend while the said fiend merely smiled back at me before pushing away from the desk he'd been leaning again. "All right Caiden I think Mommy needs to get back to work." He jerked his head towards the door and I immediately tensed.

"You stay out of trouble okay? And don't eat everything Uncle Q gives you. Remember what I told you, if your head gets dizzy, your skin turns colors, or you grow another limb, then you stop eating whatever it is right then, no matter how yummy it is."

Q rolled his eyes as Caiden nodded, "Yes Mommy. Hey Mommy can I have a sehlot? Uncle Q said they're very cuddly and easily trained!"

Again I glared daggers at Q, "We'll talk about it when I get back okay? Now be a good boy and don't forget to record your adventures into the recorder I gave you because I miss you so much."

He nodded again, gave me a quick kiss on the check, before pulling away and standing beside Q. He gave an impish grin while Q gave me a smile that promised mischief was in order for my dear son. Then they disappeared and I was left kneeling on my floor. Before I had a chance to get up yet another distraction popped its head through my door.

"Guess what?" I looked up to find Mac leaning casually against my office door. When he saw my position on the floor he paused. "Um, should I ask why you're kneeling on your floor like that?"

I smiled, "I'm practicing my begging pose for the next time dear Spock asks me to do yet another menial task that any other ensign can do perfectly fine."

"Ha! I don't think that'll work. I'm sure Jim has tried it a number of times." Mac shook his head as he came in and sat down while I stood and took my seat behind my desk.

"Anyway you'll never guess I'm sure."

I set aside my report on some random ensign I'd never heard of and turned my attention to the heavenly looking man draped in the chair across from me. Sheesh! I am pathetic! I need to get sex off my brain and wash out my mental gutters because I am going to get nowhere thinking like this!

"Well I'm going to guess that it doesn't have to do with Kirk, considering you'd be more aggravated than you are now if it was about him. And it doesn't have to do with Spock because you'd be sputtering in frustration like I was earlier. And it doesn't have to do with Scotty because you'd be rolling on the floor laughing." I settled my chin in my hand and stared across the desk at him. "So it has to be something that just came in from Starfleet or something that just happened in the general vicinity of this ship." I smiled. "Did Sulu ask you to play Mercutio in the Valentine's Day play?"

"Mercutio?" He looked offended. "While he was clever, he died, and I'd much rather play a character that didn't die and wait," he tipped his head to the side, "He wants to put on a tragedy for Valentine's Day? Isn't that a little fatalistic?"

I chuckled, "It's amazing how unoriginal people can be in their thinking." He raised his eyebrows in confusion but I waved it away. "I convinced him to do something else, though what that is, is still being decided. Anyway what did you want to tell me?"

Before he could respond my communicator chirped and I gave Mac a, what I hoped was, charming smile as I picked it up and flipped it open. Okay so I feel so awesome being able to do that! I've always wanted my own communicator.

"Lieutenant Jones, your presence will be required in the transporter room at 0800 hours tomorrow morning." Spock's cool voice warbled through. Why hadn't he told me that earlier instead of just berating me? Dorkwad Vulcan.

I tipped my head to the side, "Yes sir. May I know the reason for my presence?" I just love being so polite and proper, made me feel British!

"We will be receiving the scientific team and the Captain has put you in charge of getting them settled."

I could tell from his voice that Spock didn't exactly like the idea of me being in charge of anyone but I liked a good challenge.

"Yes, quite right," yah man I sound British now!, "I'll be there."

I flipped the communicator shut, "Was that your surprise?"

"No," Mac shook his head, "but he does know how to interrupt a good time. Probably can sense whenever anyone is having fun."

"Perhaps. So what is this surprise you're dying to tell me about?"

"Well all crewmembers have been granted evening shore leave on the colony."

I smiled, "And?"

"I'm sure you can guess where this is going Brenna."

I smiled, "Actually yes. I forgot to tell you, I can foresee the immediate future."

"Really?" He stood up and leaned closer and I got the distinct impression that he was up to something. "So you know what's going to happen within the next few minutes?"

"Well, uh, yes," what kind of hole was I digging myself into, didn't the man know a joke when he heard one, "it's more like images and garbled sounds than exact actions and such."

He was leaning dangerously close, close enough I could faintly smell bourbon on his breath, his aftershave, almost feel the warmth from his body. Did he realize how weak in the knees I am right now? So it is a very good thing I'm still sitting down then.

"So you know what I'm about to do." It was a statement, not a question.

I was so transfixed by his eyes, the movements of his mouth, and just his general presence, that I didn't quite know what he last said so I came up with the ever charming, "Huh?"

Suddenly his lips lightly brushed mine and I was floored. It happened so quickly and he had pulled away so suddenly that I almost doubted the occurrence, but then I spied that particular gleam in his eyes and I knew that it HAD happened and I'd been dumb enough to not react with more than a blank stare and an open mouth of shock. Yup, I'm quite the seductress aren't I?

"I totally set myself up for that didn't I?" I finally asked after a moment of not-quite-awkward-leaning-more-towards-amusing silence.

He grinned and nodded, "Yup."

"I'm not complaining, mind you," he only smiled more at my words, "but I don't quite know if I like the fact that I basically set myself up for that."

I got up then and paced around to the front of my desk where he was leaning against it; again looking ever the casual sexy beast—bless his mother and father for birthing this man! Despite my appreciation, I glared at his smug expression and crossed my arms.

"I don't see that there's anything you can do about it now." He continued to look like the victor. "I suppose you're just going to have to put your control issues and feminist ways away for a moment so that I can gloat just a bit at my cleverness."

I got an idea, and when I have ideas I act on them. Impulsive you ask? I've spent the last few years with Q, of course I'm impulsive! The king of impulsiveness encouraged me. Plus he told me to step it up a notch or two so here I go!

"Or," I was suddenly in front of him, pressing so close and leaning so far that he ended up slightly bent over the desk with my hand coming up to cup the back of his neck, "I could take control of the situation."

Before his surprise wore off I kissed him. Not the chaste kiss he gave me but a more aggressive, borderline lustful, kiss. It was a kiss that let him know I wasn't about to let him win—perhaps Kirk in the old 'verse had rubbed off on me in this area. It was a kiss of challenge, like a glove thrown at the feet of an opponent in the chivalrous days of old. Basically I was asking him 'are you sure you're up for this?' And his response was delayed due to an interruption in the form of Captain Kirk himself.

"My, my, what did I miss?"

Damn…

Just as Spock had an innate sense of when someone was having fun, it appeared that Kirk had a sixth sense for when someone other than himself was getting "action." I stiffened and dropped my hands at Kirk's first comment and I felt Mac do the same.

"I can't exactly accuse you two of fraternizing, considering you're both officers," his voice broke us apart like teenagers, "but I can scold you on location." He glanced out the door then back to us, "There's a supply closet just a few feet away."

I bit my lip, finding it difficult to figure out if I was amused, horrified, or guilt-ridden at having been caught by Kirk. After a moment of merely staring at each other in awkwardness, Mac cleared his throat, "It wasn't exactly like it looked Jim."

"Did you hear me ask for an explanation?" Kirk was smiling and looking at me, a gleam of mischief in his eyes. "I didn't hear myself ask for an explanation. I have no problems whatsoever when my starchy old friend gets a little action." He nodded towards me, "I encourage it actually."

I finally grinned past my initial discomfort and the odd feeling of having done something akin to betrayal, "Mac is right though; it wasn't exactly what you're more than likely thinking it was."

"What a kiss isn't a kiss these days?" Kirk looked around the room. "When did the rules of engagement change? Was it before or after you were caught?"

Mac growled, obviously embarrassed. I only continued to smile.

"Jim it's not like that. Don't go thinking those nasty thoughts your oversexed mind tends to think."

"From where I'm standing it looks like you were closer to being oversexed than I am now." Kirk winked at me and I had to stifle a giggle to keep Mac from exploding in indignation.

I could've saved myself the trouble because Mac did explode, growling about young, immature captains and oversexed something or another and then it sort of died out because he was gone into his office and we could only hear smatterings of his words before his tangent died off and we were left in silence. Once he was good and gone, both Kirk and I burst out laughing.

"Are you busy?" He finally asked once we both sobered up again, "Or is that how you end your sessions now?"

I grinned as I gestured for him to sit, "Well I figured I needed a bit more of an incentive to get certain members of the crew to come in, willingly and without a hypospray or armed guards involved."

"Well," he rubbed his hands together, "let's consider this the beginning of many sessions to come."

I laughed as I leaned back in my chair, "Other than interrupting something you misunderstood and idle flirting with the ship's assistant counselor, what did you come here for?"

"Well since I don't have shore leave, like the rest of you, I am obviously not here to ask you out to dinner, like Bones had most likely been attempting to do before I so heartlessly interrupted." I rolled my eyes and he smiled. "But I do have a question to ask." His face turned serious and he looked behind himself to make sure the door was closed. I sat up straighter in response to his actions. Something serious was up. "Well it's more like I need to tell you something that is very private."

"Does this pertain to you?"

"Not exactly and yes." I raised an eyebrow and he cursed. "Did he teach you how to do that?"

"What?" I suddenly realized what I'd done and I smiled. "No, it's taken me years to learn how to do it after I saw my first Vulcan do it." And it was true, while traveling around with Q I'd practiced in front of the mirror for hours until Q permanently fixed it in that position for a bit, just out of irritation with me.

"This team that we are picking up is actually under strict orders to maintain personal distance from the rest of the crew." When I looked confused he shrugged. "I don't know all the reasons why they are to be 'quarantined' socially like this but in any case I need you to keep them under close observation. The head counselor is already aware of the situation and asked that you be briefed as well. The two of you and Spock should be able to handle the five-man team."

I smiled, "I'll do my best, captain, believe me on that."

"Jim."

"Huh?" Yes, I actually do say huh on multiple occasions, forgive me for not being absolutely amazing with my communication skills.

"You can call me Jim. I'd prefer it that way. You calling me captain or sir feels like you're calling me grandfather or something." He shivered in disgust and I smiled. "We're too close in age for that."

"And you're too 'not' by the book for regulations when it pleases you."

"You know me so well and we haven't even had an official session yet."

I only smiled. I didn't think he'd handle the whole, "Guess what, I've met your future, alternate reality self and did you know that I basically fell in love with him only to have to leave him for his own safety? Yah it was great fun!" Yeah…that'd probably be more than a little awkward to explain right now.

"So are you going to go out with Bones?" His question almost made me jerk in response.

"I don't know. He didn't actually ask me, at least not yet, before you came in. If he asks me then I'm not averse to the idea."

"Good." Kirk grinned. "He needs to get out more."

"And you 'less?'" I was teasing, and perhaps I shouldn't tease him, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact he only chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes that warned me that I'd better tread carefully for fear of attracting more attention from him than what I'd like.

I opted for changing the subject, "Was there anything else you wanted to share with me?"

Kirk smiled, "You know sometimes I get the feeling that you're merely playing at being so counseloryish."

I almost choked in surprise and worry. "Is that even a word and what makes you say that?"

He pointed to me, "That right there. The tone of voice you get when you ask certain questions or the expression you get on your face when you do certain things. I just get the feeling that you're holding yourself back from something and I'm curious as to what exactly that is and why you're holding yourself back.

Damn…he was good. Too good. Damn, damn, damn.

"Perhaps you didn't read my file." I smiled. "But if you must know, all throughout my educational life, and young life, I've been a prankster, a brat, and a troublemaker. When I took up the torch of counseling," thanks to Q, "I figured I'd have to tone it down just a bit only to find that it was more acceptable for me to tone it down a lot. Perhaps that's what you're sensing, my inner child desperately wanting to come out to play with the other inner children that are already let out," I gestured to him and he nodded in good humor.

"I bet your son loves that inner child of yours."

I tensed. So he did read my file.

When I didn't respond right away Kirk continued, "What's his name?"

"Caiden James." I answered on automatic response, even though Kirk was the last person I wanted to talk with about my son.

"How old is he?" Apparently Kirk was oblivious to the fact that I was no longer as jovial as I'd once been.

"Around seven." I tipped my head to the side and faked a smile. "He's quite the bundle of energy and mischief."

Kirk nodded, "Isn't that a little young to be away from his mother? I mean why would you ask for assignment to a starship when you could've served on-planet or on a space station?" His face changed then; obviously he'd noticed how his questions were getting a little personal. "I'm sorry if you don't want to talk about this. I'm just curious. Most of the people on board who are married have a spouse at home taking care of the children and according to your file you do not have any family members to take care of your son."

"I have a close friend who watches Caiden. Perhaps to some, wanting to serve on a starship and being so far away from my son for so long makes me a bad mother but I feel that he will learn from my endeavors on-board and grow to be a stronger man because of my absence." That sounded like a good cover-up, and in a way there was some truth in it. "We do communicate as much as possible."

"I wasn't implying you were a bad mother, I'm sorry if you got that impression." He held up his hands to deflect any ill-will. "I was just letting my curiosity get the best of me."

"Well you know what they say about curiosity." He raised his eyebrows so I continued. "It killed the cat."

He chuckled, "I've never heard that before. That's a good one."

"Yes, well the saying can go on to say something like, 'but satisfaction brought it back.'"

He chuckled again, "Maybe. In any case," he stood up and struck a pose that some would think charming I merely thought it adorable, "I think it's time for my kiss now."

"Oh yes," I stood, slowly walked around the corner, and ever so slowly leaned in and…kissed his cheek, "there you go."

He looked like a lost puppy, "That's it?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so. Anything more will be entirely inappropriate and you don't need any encouragement."

"But, but, how come Bones got dipped over the desk and all but manhandled?"

"He actually spoke about himself and he didn't try to pry into my personal life. Remember, I have to keep proper incentives for proper sessions."

Kirk ran a hand through his hair, "Damn you're good."

"Not nearly as good as you."

He grinned, "You're right, of course."

I only laughed as he strutted out the door. Once he was gone, however, I immediately sobered up. Talking to Kirk about Caiden had been awkward at best and downright frustrating. Why did he have to be the first to broach the "son" topic? Damn!

And as for the mysterious quarantined science team? Strange and strange.


	3. Quarantined for a reason I expect

The following morning started off well enough. I woke up on time and suffered through one of those bloody sonic showers that I still had yet to get used to, and I even got to the transporter room a few minutes early. However, things quickly started downhill the moment Spock arrived, looking just as starchy as ever.

"Lieutenant your uniform is not in par with regulation."

I glanced down at my uniform. I still opted for the pants instead of the sexist skirt so as far as I knew I was in uniform. I looked back up at him and mimicked his typical eyebrow raise, a moment after, he raised his own eyebrow and there we were with raised eyebrows neither one of us talking. Scotty, who was sitting at the transporter controls, was obviously trying not to laugh.

"Whatever do you mean sir?" I didn't mean to drop in the sarcasm but it fell in on its own, I swear.

Spock clasped his hands behind his back in his 'defensive' stance, "You have not only forgotten your ranking bars but you have also failed to rid your shirt of wrinkles, your slacks are not properly pleated, and your shoes lack the appropriate amount of shine."

"So in short, Mr. Spock, you are saying I look like a slob?"

His eyebrow didn't move, but his lips twitched—I still don't know if that's a good sign or not. Before he could respond, however, Scotty announced the beam up. I knew this discussion would continue later, there was no escaping Spock when he had a bee in his bonnet. Just as the scientists were shimmering into view, Kirk slid into position between Spock and I. I gave him a sidelong glance letting him know I was impressed with his last minute timing. He grinned, smoothed his shirt, and then turned to face the newly arrived scientists.

There were four in all, three men and one woman, all human. The woman was significantly older than the men, and one man looked like he was barely older than Chekov. What was it with this timeline and putting youngsters to work? They all looked pleasant enough, though the woman looked like she had starch enough to rival Spock. It was she who stepped forward first, leaving the men to carry the gear off the pad.

"Welcome aboard, Doctor Stentson." Kirk reached out hand to shake hers. "I'm Captain Kirk; this is my first officer Spock and assistant counselor Lieutenant Jones."

She moved with regal slowness, though in my opinion I found this regality a touch on the annoying side no matter what species it was found in. By the time she did shake Kirk's hand I felt I'd aged a few years.

"We thank you for your assistance in this matter." Her voice was husky, like she'd smoked in her younger years, but not unpleasant. "We know you most likely had other pressing matters to attend to."

Suddenly she turned and extended her hand to Spock, a surprising gesture considering he was Vulcan—how long had she been out of the loop on this colony? "I have only recently heard about the crisis involving your race. Please accept my deepest condolences." She continued to hold her hand in the air long after it would have been awkward to do so. She seemed intent upon shaking Spock's hand, and none of us seemed about to step up and inform her of the rudeness of her gesture.

Surprisingly Spock unclasped his hands and gave her hand a brief squeeze, "Your condolences are acknowledged, Doctor Stentson. Please accept our hospitality. Lieutenant Jones and I will see to you and your team."

He stepped back and gestured for the doctor to follow him out into the corridor. I waited until the last man filed out after the others before I fell in behind. I didn't want to lose any ducklings after all.

"Hey," I paused in the doorway when I heard Kirk. When I turned around he was smiling at me, "I hear tell that your shoes don't shine enough," he jutted his chin towards Scotty who merely smiled at me, "way to get the day started off right."

I rolled my eyes, "I'll be sure to spit-shine them tonight for your and his inspection tomorrow." I started out the door then turned around with a sly smile, "Sir."

I heard him chuckling with Scotty as I hurried down the corridor to catch up with my ducklings. I mentally dressed myself up like a ninja and played a super cool soundtrack in my head as we walked along. It was what I had to do to feel "cool" about babysitting boring scientists and keeping them "quarantined" from the rest of the crew.

The scientists had just followed Spock into their quarters when Christine came around the corner. I grinned before I playfully, and carefully, body slammed her into the wall.

"What in the hell are you doing Brenna?" She didn't sound mad, just surprised and vaguely amused.

"I have strict orders to quarantine these scientists from the crew. I must inform you that your presence here has been deemed a threat and I am now authorized to karate chop you into the sixth century." I stepped back and assumed a supposed karate position. "Prepare yourself."

Christine looked at me a moment before she shook her head, "You are so weird Brenna."

"I'm sorry; boredom brings the weirdness out of me." I resumed a normal stance and sighed. "This is my first 'big' assignment and what a doozey it is." My sarcasm was quite obvious.

"Well you know the greatest leaders make the best out of the the worst of times." She patted my shoulder, giving me a wink.

I nodded, "They also typically have good enough connections to score a good drink at the end of the day. Hint, hint, wink, wink."

Christine laughed and shook her head. She began to move past me but stopped, "I get the hint, weirdo, come by my quarters tonight and I'll see what concoction I can come up with. I still can't believe I haven't managed to find a drink that could knock you off your rocker."

Something I'd discovered about this Christine that was quite different from the other was that this Christine could drink an Irishman into cirrhosis of the liver. I was curious as to whether or not she was on Scotty's radar because from what I could remember of the other Scotty, and what I had seen of this one, he too was a good drinker.

"Thanks a million doll." I gave her a wink before I turned and pressed the button to go into the quarters the scientists had disappeared into.

What I saw in the room made me stop and nearly get crunched in the closing door. Doctor Stentson stood over a thrashing Spock while the other three men hovered over him with tricorders. When I entered they stopped what they'd been doing and stared at me in surprise, as if they'd forgotten I too was supposed to be with them.

"What is going on?" I didn't know if I was supposed to go forward and try to help the almost unconscious Spock or if I was supposed to call for security or if I really was supposed to karate chop the scientists.

Doctor Stentson stood up slowly, as if Spock wasn't at her feet foaming at the mouth—surely that's not a good sign—and started towards me. I would've backed up into the corridor but the now shut door stopped me.

"It appears that your first officer is sick. We are merely trying to ascertain what might be the problem." She spoke slowly, almost too carefully. Something really didn't seem right about this situation, my gut was screaming that it wasn't right.

"We have a very good doctor who should come and take care of him." I began to reach for my communicator but found to my horror that I'd yet again forgotten the darn thing in my office.

Doctor Stentson shook her head, "We are more trained than your doctor with this virus."

"So you know what it is?" I narrowed my eyes at her, "Why don't you stop it then?"

"Once he is at this stage the best thing to do is to keep him comfortable, cool, and full of liquids. In a day or two, if we're lucky and his immune system is strong, he'll be back to normal." She flicked a wrist and I watched as the two older and bigger guys bent down and picked up Spock as if he were a doll. They deposited him on one of the beds while the younger man came forward with some kind of hypospray.

"What's that?" I wanted to go forward and stop them until Mac or Kirk could come and make sure this was no hanky panky, but what am I supposed to do against four men and a creepy old lady?

"Not to worry," Doctor Stentson hadn't once turned around to watch the guys work; she kept her stoic gaze on me, "it's merely a hypospray to keep him calm."

Suddenly the intercom by the door chirped, "Lieutenant Jones please respond. Lieutenant Jones, respond." It was Uhura. Probably one of the only times I was happy to hear from her.

Doctor Stentson and I continued to eye each other for a moment before I began to scoot over to the com. She merely watched my progress while the guys continued to take vitals from Spock. I didn't turn around to take the call. Instead I kept my eyes on her while I pressed the answer button.

"Lieutenant Jones here."

"Lieutenant Jones where are you located? Is first officer Spock with you?"

I looked over at the calmer but still unconscious Spock before I answered, "I am with the scientist team in their quarters. First officer Spock appears to be ill and the scientists have confined him to one of their beds. Requesting medical assistance."

Doctor Stentson finally turned away and went to sit down. I felt my shoulders relax just a tad without her eagle eyes on me.

"They're on their way. Please remain with Mr. Spock until they arrive."

Well where else was I supposed to go? "Copy." I really don't know if I'm supposed to say that but I did anyway. I took my hand away from the com and inched away from the door, darting my eyes between the guys hovering over Spock and Doctor Creepy Evil Eye herself.

"Do you know how Mr. Spock could have contracted the virus?"

Doctor Stentson folded her hands in her lap, "No, I do not. We have thoroughly sterilized our equipment and ourselves, and all our cultures of this virus are in containment canisters."

"What exactly does this virus do?" I sincerely hoped that it didn't kill because that was just what we needed.

Doctor Stentson glanced over at Spock before she looked back to me, "It brings the inner most part of the brain to the forefront and the body operates from this standpoint. Logic and reason are discarded and the true sensations are released."

Ookay…what hell does that mean? Before I could question further Mac burst through the door with a team of nurses, including Christine, behind him. Thankfully, he also had two security personnel with him. He looked at me and I did my best with facial expression and body language to convey my discomfort. He seemed to have gotten the message because he signaled for the security to move between the male scientists and Spock while he stepped forward with his own tricorder.

"What have you done to him? His vitals are through the roof!" Mac growled at Doctor Stentson.

Before she could reply I quickly spoke up, "He seems to have contracted a virus that these guys have samples of in supposedly contained canisters. She says she doesn't know how he got it but that the virus brings the inner most part of the brain to forefront and that logic and reason are discarded."

"The hell it does. Do you know what this kind of virus will do to a Vulcan? All their brain functioning depends on logic and reason!" Mac tucked his tricorder away. "We need to get him to sickbay with Jim." He signaled the security to hoist Spock up while the nurses continued to monitor him with their own tricorders.

"You mean that Kirk is sick too?" I asked.

Mac ran a hand through his hair, "Yeah. He's writhing in sick bay as we speak." He leveled a hard gaze on the Doctor. "You had better give me all the info you've got on this virus, you had better tell me how both my captain and Spock contracted it, and you had better tell me there's a way to stop it. Or else so help me-"

"This virus," Doctor Stentson interrupted Mac before he could finish his threat, "was created in our lab. It is a prototype virus created for use by a top level organization associated with Starfleet. Any more information than that is classified. I don't know how the captain and Mr. Spock have contracted it. You know perfectly well that we have all been cleared for transport and as such have no contamination. And we were commissioned to create the virus, not manufacture a cure for it. That is why we were transporting it back to a better equipped base, so that we could study it further and develop an anti-virus serum."

Mac looked ready to throttle the Doctor, while I felt that she was leaving much out. There had to be a better explanation as to why only Kirk and Spock had the virus. She seemed too controlled in the face of this unexplained accident for me to believe her story completely. After I looked at Mac more closely, he seemed just as unbelieving as me.

"Consider yourselves confined to quarters. Any attempt made by any of you to leave this room or mess around with the computer system will be considered a threat and will result in all of you being thrown in the brig. Security will be posted outside these doors. Have I made myself clear?"

I was taken aback at how quickly Mac assumed such an authoritative stance but this was a medical emergency and that was his job. With both Kirk and Spock out that would leave him as the next senior officer, as far as I knew.

"I understand that you are locking up completely innocent bystanders and are treating us like terrorists." Doctor Stentson hardened her voice and glared right back at Mac.

Mac wasn't fazed by her glare, "Be that as it may, do not attempt to leave." He turned to me, "Lieutenant." I followed him out the door. "Security, this is Doctor McCoy. First Officer Spock is on his way to sickbay for treatment. I want you to post guards outside the scientists' quarters until further notice." After they acknowledged his command he turned his glare on me. "How the hell did this happen Brenna? Why didn't you call earlier when Spock went down?"

I hadn't felt so guilty for a mistake in a very long time, and I've made some pretty bad mistakes in my time. Standing there under Mac's scrutiny, I wanted to crawl under a rock and cry.

"I was only out of sight from him for maybe two minutes. When I came into the room he was already on the ground."

Mac clenched his jaw, "Why didn't you contact us then?"

"Doctor Stentson had me backed up against the door and I couldn't call."

"A ninety year old woman had you backed up against a door and you couldn't use your communicator?"

I again wanted to crawl under a rock, "I left my communicator in my office."

"You…" Mac closed his eyes for a moment, breathed deeply, and then opened them again. "You left your communicator in your office, you left Spock for two minutes time, and you never tried to intervene with what the scientists' were doing to Spock?"

I gulped, "I didn't know what to do. I couldn't fully tell if they were harming him or helping him."

He glared at me a moment more then turned on his heel and stalked off towards sick bay. I hesitated a moment, unsure if that meant go the hell away or follow, before I decided I might as well follow and die quickly. I didn't walk beside him though, I hovered a few paces behind. I knew better than to get too close to him while he was this mad at me.

Yes I admit that I'm absentminded when it comes to items that I should keep on me. Back home I always forgot where I put my keys and my brother teased me that if my head wasn't attached I'd forget it. That wasn't a good excuse but it was true. I also admit that I should've taken more action and contacted Mac to begin with; however, in my time traveling with Q I've found that slowly assessing a situation was usually better than just reacting to what is seen. Of course, these arguments/excuses weren't going to help me in regards to Mac at the moment.

Once we arrived in sickbay we found both Spock and Kirk restrained to their beds, their bodies jerking against the bonds, while moans and slobber erupted from their mouths. Mac quickly fell into place amongst the chaos of figuring out what exactly the virus was doing. While he worked, he managed to send a few orderlies back to the scientists' quarters to try to retrieve more data about what the virus looked like. All he could see were crazy vital signs and without knowing what exactly he was up against his hands were effectively tied.

When the orderlies came back saying that the scientists weren't going to reveal more information without authorization from their employers Mac lost it. He very nearly ordered the scientists into the brig. Perhaps it wasn't the best time to step forward again, but I had to stop him from over reacting.

"She said that within two days the virus would die down and they'd be back to normal."

Mac turned furious eye on me, "What?"

"Doctor Stentson," I spoke louder this time, "mentioned that if the subjects had strong enough immune systems they would be back to normal within two days."

"You expect me to just sit around and wait for two days, hoping that whatever the hell this thing is won't kill them?" He stepped closer to me and for once I found his height a bit intimidating.

I swallowed, "Of course not. Perhaps we could try to contact Starfleet and request clearance from whatever organization these guys work for so that we can access the data on the virus."

Mac's face changed to one of realization and he turned to one of the orderlies near the door, "Go to the bridge, tell them what's going on and get them talking to Starfleet."

The orderly nodded before quickly disappearing. Mac turned back to me for a moment before moving back to continue to monitor both Spock and Kirk. I sighed, inwardly crumpling into a pathetic heap of self pity while outwardly I did what I could to both help and stay out of the way. Christine did shoot me a sympathetic look or two but that was the only comfort I got for the rest of the evening.

A few hours later, we discovered that whomever the organization Doctor Stentson and her team worked for wasn't acknowledged by Starfleet and so, short of torturing the Doctor, which he was not authorized to do, Mac was ordered to continue to transport the scientists to the nearest starbase where they would be interrogated by the proper authorities. In the meantime, he was ordered to monitor Kirk and Spock and report back any changes in their conditions.

At this news Mac had nearly thrown a punch into the wall but, surprisingly, he did as ordered, though he told Sulu to speed it up. At the new speed that left us with eight hours until we reached the starbase. After assuring himself that Christine and her nurses' could handle the monitoring, Mac retreated to his office where he began to research what he could about the virus with the blood samples and such that he'd collected.

I sat on the chair closest the door. It had already been about six hours since it had first happened and I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. I assumed neither had Mac. Quietly as possible I ordered some tea and scones and, setting aside my own portion, I gently set his on the desk where he was working. He didn't acknowledge my doing so and so I sat back down and nibbled on my own scones before washing it down with the tea.

After what seemed forever in silence I decided enough was enough. I understand the gravity of the situation, I understand my part in it, but he couldn't treat me like a imbecilic kid.

"Mac." I kept my voice even, though I really wanted to growl at him. He didn't acknowledge that he'd heard me. I glanced at the time and mentally sighed. I'd give him another hour of work before I throttled him.

Of course in that hour I managed to fall asleep. When I woke up Mac was gone, the tea drunk and scone also gone. At least he'd eaten. I stood up and walked back into sickbay. I stopped and blinked a few times. Sitting up and bed and looking for all the world cured were Kirk and Spock. Mac stood between them with a frown, his tricorder beeping madly.

"Bones will you put it away. I'm fine." Kirk tried to push Mac away.

He did in fact appear to be fine, at least from his voice and mannerisms. Spock too seemed back to normal, though he was tolerating Mac's ministrations more stoically than Kirk.

"You guys okay?" I came forward, relief in my voice.

Kirk looked up, "Oh there you are Brenna. Could you tell Bones that we're perfectly fine and get him to stop bugging us?"

I came closer and stuck my face up close to Spock's, earning a Vulcan equivalent of a glare from him. His eyes weren't glazed, his pupils weren't dilated, and there was definitely no foam coming out of his mouth. When I stepped over and did the same with Kirk, finding the same results, I shook my head in confusion. How could two people go from writhing and foaming to normalcy so quickly, and from a virus manufacturing probably for warfare? It didn't make any sense.

"Well Bones?" Kirk put his hands on my shoulders and held me further away so he could hop down from the biobed. "How are my vitals?"

Mac glanced over at Christine who merely nodded, confirming his estimation. "According to all our scans your vitals are normal, your blood has no sign of the virus, and everything appears as it did at your last physical." His voice held more than a little disbelief.

"Good. I'm ready to get back and take a shower. Writhing in my own foam and sweat, from what I hear, doesn't make this uniform feel too great." He moved towards the door but stopped when Mac stepped in his way. "Aw come on Bones. What now?"

"Indeed, Doctor," Spock was now standing by his biobed, doing his best to smooth his uniform shirt down despite its stubborn insistence upon looking disheveled, "you have stated yourself that there is no sign of the virus in our bodies. Lieutenant Jones testified that Doctor Stentson believed if our immune systems were strong enough we would survive. Perhaps we should be allowed to change into cleaner uniforms before returning here for follow-up examinations."

Mac didn't look comfortable with the idea but after another puppy dog look from Kirk, he gave him with a sigh. Kirk slapped his shoulder on the way out while Spock merely nodded. Christine busied herself with cleaning up the biobeds and sterilizing the equipment. Mac had since moved back into his office, with me trailing behind like a puppy. He resumed his station at the desk while I, this time, sat on the corner of it. I waited in silence for a few moments before I inhaled, wanting enough breath to speak out my frustration slash apology.

"Apology accepted, I hope you've learned your lesson, you may go." He didn't even look up from his work as he spoke.

The dismissive tone, his disinterested body language, all of it made my blood boil. Perhaps this was the Mac I hadn't seen in the other verse because this one had been beaten out by the time I'd met him; mellowed out after years of realizing he wasn't the most perfect individual in the galaxy. This Mac, bless him, could sometimes be an ass, like right now. I never thought I'd actually be mad at the man; never in the other verse could I have been mad at him; before this I never would've expected to get so mad at him; but here I am, mad at him. I could see traces of what kind of man his ex-wife had been happy to say sayonara too. But I wasn't his ex-wife, and I certainly wasn't going to let him dismiss me this way.

I stood up, went over to the office door and pushed the button to shut it. He still didn't look up from his work even when the door hissed shut. Still quiet, and breathing deeply to keep from getting red in the face, I moved to stand directly in front of him. When he still didn't look up, I moved around the desk and stood right beside his chair. Still clicking away at his PADD, he didn't acknowledge my presence. How like a woman. He could be like a woman, playing the silent game. All right, if he wanted to do it that way, I'll be the man.

With my foot I kicked the bottom of the chair just enough to make it swivel back so his body now faced me. As he began to protest at this I planted both my hands on either side of his chair and moved down until I was eye level with him. I spoke slowly, carefully, and as evenly as possible.

"I acknowledge that I could have been more responsible on a number of things that occurred at the beginning of this; I understand my hand in what happened; however, I do not appreciate being treated like an imbecilic child nor will I tolerate being dismissed like one. You are the doctor and as such you are my superior and I accept orders from my superiors. However, I do not accept arrogant and petty silent treatment from friends."

Mac's eyes narrowed, "As your superior, then, I order you to leave."

I maintained my position for a moment longer than necessary before I stood up. Inwardly seething, I gave him an old fashioned formal salute before I turned and basically marched out the door. I tersely nodded to Christine on my way out. She looked sympathetic and not at all confused. She was probably used to Mac's fairly immature behavior. Problem was, he wasn't the only one acting immature. I knew I had overreacted, was overreacting, but pride goes before the fall right? I'm not ready to fall just yet and my pride can still carry me back to my quarters, where I will stay until I can face him, or anyone else, without the temptation to scream.


	4. Dogs are man's best friend

As I stormed down the corridor I reflected back on all the things said and done since the beginning of this mishap. I could understand the hostility, both on his side and mine, but understanding the reasons why a person acts like an arse never really makes it easier to deal with. Perhaps being with James was easier, not that I was technically "with" anyone this time around. But with James, since we were so different in temperament, I'd never felt this much of a desire to smash his ego into smithereens. Of course, the more primal side of me idly wondered if the passion I now felt in anger towards Mac would translate to passionate arousal later; however, since I was still mad at the dolt, I swiped that thought away. It does a body no good to be attracted to the person they so desperately want to be mad at.

It was on this equally frustrating note that I was forced to stop. The source of my cessation of though was a large furry dog. I kid you not, a black and grey Wolfhound, on the Enterprise, quite literally plowed me over. I was so stunned, lying there on my back in the middle of the corridor, that it took me a moment to realize the drooling face hovering over me was that of a shaggy wolfhound.

"What in the hell?" I managed to gasp out after my senses came back to me.

With a great many pushes and shoves, I got the slobbering mass off me and moved to sit against the side of the corridor; my ribs still hurt from the collision and I didn't want to stand just yet. The dog merely followed me, whimpering and shivering, and put his head under my arm like a puppy. My expression was probably comical; I was confused at both the dog's antics and his presence. I sat there a moment longer, watching the dog and his attempts to press more against my side, my instinct to pet kicking in. Almost as soon as my fingers began to thread through the dog's fur by his floppy ears, his whole body tensed and then, with a sigh, he collapsed into my lap. I continued to look at his adorably content mass until I heard footsteps.

When I looked up I found an equally confused Scotty staring down at me with an equally large, brown Great Dane by his side. It took us both a moment to collect ourselves before either one of us tried to speak, but then we both tried to speak at the same time. I held up my hand a moment later then gestured for him to talk first.

"I was comin' up from engineering on my way to the bridge with this fella came barrelin' down the corridor right into me arms." The Dane in question was sitting stoically at his feet. It cocked its head to the side at the sight of the Wolfhound then cautiously moved towards us, sniffing all the way.

I spoke as I watched his approach, "I just left sickbay when this guy quite literally knocked me off my feet."

The Dane finally reached the Wolfhound and without warning began to sniff the Wolfhound's rear. Surprising us all, the Wolfhound nearly leapt out of my lap and turned on the Dane, a slobbery snarl on its lips. Overcoming its initial shock, the Dane assumed a more aggressive stance and took to snarling back. Having two large dogs snarling at each other mere inches from my face was not what I expected, nor wanted.

"Oi! Get over here!" Scotty rushed forward and wrapped his arms around the Wolfhound's neck, using his whole body to try to hoist the dog away.

I took the momentary distraction and inserted myself into the line of sight of the Dane. Having had Danes in my early years I knew more about their temperaments than Wolfhounds. I quickly began stroking his ears, putting light pressure on the tips. Almost as quickly as the Wolfhound had dropped into my lap, the Dane sat down and his tail took to wagging. His large mouth dropped open, tongue rolled out, and hot breath soon fanned into my face.

"Oh boy." I coughed, turning my head away. "This guy needs to get a mint."

I heard a scuffle behind me and turned to find Scotty wrestling the Wolfhound down. From the looks of it, the Wolfhound was merely trying to crawl into Scotty's lap to be similarly petted; however, since Scotty was standing up, that made the whole process more difficult, but not impossible, for the dog. I laughed at the antics of both man and dog. It felt good to be petting an animal after so many years of not really having much access to one. That thought brought me back to the initial confusion, where in the world did these dogs come from?

"Scotty, did anyone beam up some dogs when we brought up those scientists?" I began to stand, though I didn't stop petting the Dane. Once standing I realized the Dane was actually much larger than I had initially thought; even while standing, with the dog sitting, his head came to my waist.

"Nay," Scotty finally managed to sit on the dog's back in order to get him to stop moving and was fluffing up its fur around its neck, "and we havenae stopped anywhere since then either."

I looked down at the Dane, watching as he turned his head to look up at me, pink tongue still hanging out to the side. I bent down closer. Ignoring the breath, I looked deeply into his eyes. Instead of looking away after a few moments, as most dogs would do, the dog instead stared back at me. His mouth closed and his head came forward more until we were almost nose to nose. There was something off about him, about his eyes, and his sudden change to seriousness. The longer I stared the more and more it felt that something much larger than expected was going on here and that this Dane, and the hound, were both much more than what met the eyes.

I gently wrapped my hands around the dog's ears and knelt down, pulling his head still closer. Almost as soon as my fingers drifted down to the dogs jawbone I felt a spark of awareness inside me. It was an alien presence that, I won't lie, freaked me out. I quickly let go and drew back. The dog followed and tried to place its face back into my hands. Yes, this was no ordinary dog.

"Scotty. I think you should keep an eye on me."

Scotty stopped his childish murmuring to the hound—apparently dogs reduced the engineer to near baby talk—and glanced over at us, "What's going on?"

"I just want you to watch okay? I touched the dog a second ago and felt something happen inside me."

"Do you think you should touch him again then? Haven't we had enough problems lately?"

I sighed, "I think I should. I mean, we need to figure out where they came from right?" I heard rather than saw Scotty nod and murmur his agreement. "So just make sure I don't do something funny, or that the dog doesn't."

Taking care not to move too quickly, I held out my hands and watched, fascinated, as the dog placed its large head into my grasp. I moved my fingers around a bit until I found the "sweet" spot. I kept eye contact and waited. Sure enough the presence was back and with each passing second it became stronger and more defined. It wasn't threatening, though it was firm. I maintained eye contact with the strange dog until suddenly the presence took on a voice and it echoed through my brain just as loudly as any other voice would.

_"It is I._" Was all that it managed to say before I smashed back into the corridor wall, surprise written across my features.

"Are you alright lass?" Scotty let go of the hound and moved closer. The hound was not to be left behind however, and kept to Scotty's heels like a shadow, a very large and shaggy shadow.

I nodded with a hand over my still wildly beating heart, "Yes, I'm fine. But I'm fairly certain that not only did this dog speak to me but also," I looked over at Scotty, "it sounded like Spock."

After getting over his initial shock, Scotty and I managed to haul the dogs back to sickbay with us. It wasn't the first place I'd rather be, given my still boiling frustration against Mac, but it was the best bet on getting answers. Mac, for his part, looked a little less angry and little more approachable than some thirty minutes before. When he saw the dogs, however, his features turned down into a scowl again and he turned accusing eyes towards me.

"I had nothing to do with this!" I held up my hands and backed away slightly, surprised when the Dane followed my movements. Poor Scotty was still trying to keep the hound from climbing up his body and licking his face.

"Then explain." Mac crossed his arms and leaned against the nearest biobed, obviously getting ready for a long explanation.

I sighed and told him as best I could what my theory was. Once finished, Mac ordered security to bring Stentson to sickbay while he and Christine took to running scanners over the pair of dogs. After a few awkward moments of trying to hold a Great Dane still on a biobed—which of course getting him onto the biobed had been only slightly easier than getting the Wolfhound onto the other one—Stentson arrived, a security officer on either side of her.

"Care to explain this?" Mac flipped his scanner shut and handed it to Christine. He leveled a hard gaze on the still apathetic looking scientist.

"I was unaware of these particular side effects," she spoke offhandedly as she stepped forward, obviously with the intent to poke and prod the dogs. As soon as she moved, however, both dogs took to growling and snarling at her.

Scotty laid a quieting hand on the hound's head, "I donna think they care much for you."

Stentson folded her hands in front of her, though her eyes flashed briefly, "That much is apparent."

"What do you mean you were unaware of these particular side effects?" Mac stepped forward, "did you know that the captain and Spock would be turned into animals?"

Stentson sighed, "It is different for everyone that we've tested on. Some were animals; some were reptiles; some giant insects. It is all based upon the balance of the different components in the formula, the DNA of the subject, and the unique environment the subject is in. There are other factors involved but that would be revealing too much I'm afraid."

I watched as Mac fought the urge to beat the old lady. Feeling it my duty to prevent him from committing murder I stepped forward.

"Is this permanent? You said you had no cure, but did your other subjects revert to their previous nature and bodies?" I glanced over at Mac. "I know you feel you can't reveal much due to the nature of your contract, etcetera etcetera, however I think it is in your best interest that you stop playing the vague game and start telling us everything you are authorized to tell. This is a starship without a captain and a first officer; I highly doubt your employers would be happy if this stuff got into the wrong hands."

Stentson's eyes twitched for a moment. "What do you mean?" she asked, her voice still as brittle and husky as before, however I detected a slight quiver.

"This crew may be capable of maintaining duties without the leadership of a captain and first officer; however one never knows when a rogue Klingon or Romulan ship might appear. Neither one of those empires is quite on friendly terms with the Federation. What was it, three weeks ago, that we saw that Romulan warbird?" I turned to Scotty, who neither nodded nor shook his head; he was too intrigued watching me bluff. "If that happens, with the highest ranking officer being the doctor, who is obviously preoccupied with matters concerning said captain and first officer, I fear for the safety not only of this ship and crew, but also of your precious formula." I stepped forward and invaded her personal space—quite a difference from my cowering self hours before. "One small accident could prove most detrimental to all your hard work."

Stentson maintained eye contact, obviously sizing me up, trying to see if I was bluffing or not. About the Romulans and Kinglons, sure I was bluffing, about accidents waiting to happen, of course not. I was the queen of causing accidents, for good or bad, and it wouldn't take much effort on my part to wreak havoc. Apparently satisfied that I meant business, Stentson looked past me back to Mac.

"If you give me access to your lab and supplies I can create a suppressor. It is not an antidote, we still have yet to manufacture one, but it will suppress the formula enough for their metabolisms to start fighting it off and out of their systems. If we work fast enough it will not cleave to their DNA," she looked back at me, "if that happens then there is no going back."

I nodded then looked back to Mac. He didn't look entirely happy about the prospects of having the old coot anywhere near his lab or supplies but without a better option he nodded to the security and they escorted her into the lab. He glanced back at the dogs, then Scotty and I.

"I don't want them far but I don't want them here either." He glanced over at Christine and for the first time I noticed that she was scratching at her arms and her eyes were red and puffy. Who knew allergies still existed?

"They look like they could do with a wee bit of exercise if you ask me." Scotty nodded towards the Wolfhound who had since jumped down from the bed and was currently attempting to chase his tail. The Dane, while more controlled, also seemed to be quivering with energy.

"We could take them to the gym and let them run around. That's the largest open space we have." I suggested, watching with amusement when both dogs' ears perked at the mention of running.

"Fine, just keep a comm badge near." His eyes captured mine for a moment. I couldn't quite tell if they were softened out of apology for being a douche earlier or softened from allergies, but I would latch onto my own preference and offered up a slight smile in return.

With the dogs near loping ahead of us, Scotty and I made our way to the gym. With Mac and Stentson working on a "cure," neither one of us felt as worried about the impending doom of either Spock of Kirk as we had before. Of course, there was still a risk, but the idea of seeing Kirk as a Wolfhound the rest of his life did make me smirk a wee bit. He had been called a dog a number of times before, and a hound, but for different reasons. Now he was just living up to his name.

Scotty and I pulled out a few things that wouldn't break or tear if thrown or chewed by the dogs and began tossing them about. The hound was naturally more inclined to catch the items thrown and while he wouldn't immediately bring them back he would eventually, only after gnawing on them and trying to rip them to shreds. The Dane took a bit to warm up to the idea of playing, but after I put a rope in his mouth and tugged at it he seemed to catch on and quickly took to the idea of tug-a-war. He was stronger than I expected and more than once very nearly threw me off my feet with his vigorous head shakes.

"I think we can let them run on their own for a bit," Scotty wiped at his brow, obviously tired from trying to keep up with the still near bouncing hound, "they've got four legs to my two."

I nodded, watching as the Dane trotted off to sniff around the room. Scotty and I sat near the door, both of us relishing the cool metal against our hot backs. We began to trade stories of past pets and laughed over the various antics either our past pets had done or something one of the current dogs would do. It was only when we heard growling that we focused fully on the dogs again. The hound had apparently lifted its leg to pee in the corner, something neither one of us wanted to clean up, when the Dane had come up behind him and began to growl. The hound, not liking this, turned and growled back. They circled each other a few times while Scotty and I began to stand. Before either one of us could move, the Dane and hound were at each other's throats in a knock-down dog fight. Knowing better than to physically grab a dog while he was fighting, I instructed Scotty to retrieve water while I tried to get closer, but still maintain a far enough distance away to be safe.

I could only watch in morbid fascination as the dogs continue to nip and bite at each other. They were nearly watched in size and weight, though the hound perhaps a bit more due to the fur, and so the fight was almost more of a stalemate. Somehow, though, the Dane managed to flip the hound onto its back and went for its neck. Instinctively knowing that he'd been had, the hound tucked its tail between its legs and whimpered. The Dane hesitated, though he kept his teeth barred and his head close to the hound's neck. When the hound maintained its submissive position, the Dane backed off.

The Dane sat down and then leaned around to begin licking at its various scratches. The hound rolled over and watched the Dane for a moment before it too sat up and began licking at its own scratches. Scotty reappeared a moment later, carrying a bucket of water.

"What happened?"

I gestured between the Dane and the hound, "Spock got Kirk pinned and Kirk submitted."

Scotty set down the bucket and wiped at his brow, "Well I'll be. I donna think the cap'n will be happy about that once they get back to their old selves."

I nodded. When growling erupted again I quickly turned to find to my horror, and amusement, the hound dry humping the Dane's back. It only lasted a moment before Scotty and I wisely stepped in between the snarling dogs, but a moment was long enough for Scotty and I to burst out laughing. While the Dane/Spock may have gotten the Wolfhound/Kirk pinned, the Wolfhound/Kirk wasn't about to let the Dane/Spock win without striking back in the best way he knew.

Deciding that they'd experienced enough excitement, we took them to my quarters—it was nearest sickbay. Both of us hungry, and figuring the dogs would be also, we ordered food and fed them scraps. The dogs ate like, well, dogs, and Scotty and I laughed at their robust appetites.

"It's hard to imagine that he's the cap'n and he's Spock." Scotty sipped at his tea as he watched the hound lick its testicles and the Dane scratch behind its ears.

I laughed, "Actually for him," I gestured towards Kirk, "it doesn't take much stretch of the imagination."

Scotty laughed while the dogs looked up at us. I was curious as to how much they understood as the men they once were and how much they interpreted as dogs. When, well if, they got back to their old selves it would be most fascinating to figure out. I leaned down and began to scratch behind the Dane's ears. With a heavy sigh, the dog flopped onto its stomach then rolled over onto its back. Yes, Spock would be most unhappy if he had to remember me scratching his belly and him liking it, so perhaps it would be a mercy to them both if they didn't remember much as dogs.

The belly scratching only lasted a few moments before my comm badge beeped.

"Jones here." I continued to pat the Dane's head as I spoke.

"The suppressor is ready. Bring them back to sickbay immediately." Mac's voice was clipped; he'd probably wanted to throttle Stentson more than once in the past hour or so.

"On our way." I flipped the badge shut and looked down at the Dane. "You know, I think I'm going to miss you as a dog Spock." I leaned down and pressed my head against his, scratching at his ears as I held him close. "You're much more loveable and cuddly this way. And, I get to play with your ears without risking bodily injury." To prove my point I stroked his ears and chuckled when the dog's tongue rolled out of its mouth in delight.

"You had better hope he doesna remember that when he comes to." Scotty was chuckling as he stood, the hound following his motions. "You may still get some injury, in the form of the brig."

Laughing, I joined him out in the hall, "It'd be worth it."

We were both still smiling when we came into sickbay. Mac frowned at my smile but I only shrugged. Yes it was a serious situation but that didn't mean I couldn't still smile. Living with Q had taught me many things, some good and some bad, but one good thing was learning how to smile in any situation; including one that quite possibly left James T. Kirk and Spock as dogs.

"There." Stentson stepped back after administering the hyposprays. "We should know within an hour whether or not this works."

"Good. You may return to your quarters." He signaled for the security to take her away.

She didn't look crestfallen at the lack of gratitude, but she did glare a bit more at both the doctor and me before she complied and left the room. I made to leave also but stopped when I heard a whimpering. The Dane was looking at me with puppy dog eyes; it was a dog after all. I sighed and came back to stand beside the biobed. I stroked my fingers through its fur, looking up to find Mac's gaze on me.

"I see you've made a friend." His voice was strange but I mentally shrugged; he'd explain himself eventually.

"We both have." I nodded towards where Scotty stood, ruffling the hound's fur while the dog thumped its tail on the biobed. "It's almost a shame to have them back to normal. This place could use a few pets."

Mac initially looked ready to snap at me but then he noticed my jesting smile and his shoulders relaxed. He nodded and stepped closer, not moving to touch either dog.

"It's hard to imagine what they must be going through; trapped inside such smaller brains, their consciences still present enough to understand, but not enough to fully control their dog-like instincts." Scotty had briefly mentioned what had happened earlier in the gym.

I nodded, "Yes I'm sure the counselor and I will have plenty to talk with them about; if we can pin them down at least. I highly doubt they'll come willingly."

Mac nodded. He continued to stare down at the now droopy eyed dog. While his stance wasn't aggressive or as tense as it had been earlier I could tell he was still holding something bothersome inside. I shrugged and continued to pet the dog until its breath evened out in sleep. The hound had likewise fallen asleep. Hopefully that was a good sign.

Mac shifted and I looked up. He gestured for me to follow him into his office. I glanced over at Scotty but found he was still near cooing at the hound. His relationship with Kirk would be most strange if Kirk remembered Scotty speaking baby-like talk to him. I smiled at the thought as I followed Mac into the other room. Once inside, he folded his arms across his chest and sat on the edge of his desk. He was staring past me at the biobeds. I maintained patience. My earlier frustration had been born away with the preoccupation with the dogs. I figured rushing him would only make things bad again.

"I wanted to apologize for the way I reacted earlier." He was looking at me now and I nodded, "I shouldn't have blamed you for something that none of us could've expected. Yes you are absent minded and naïve, but I know you did what you felt was right to do; your gut instincts were not far off in thinking that you could've been a target as well, and I know you never would've abandoned Spock."

So that was what had been making him so mad. He had been wrestling with the idea that I was both a coward and incompetent. Oh poor Mac didn't know the half of it! I am both a coward and incompetent, but I pick and choose when those parts of me manifest themselves. How sweet of him to apologize though.

"Well you're right that you reacted badly, and you're right that I wouldn't abandon Spock but I want to make sure you understand that I am both cowardly and incompetent." His eyebrows rose and he looked like he was about to argue but I held up my hand. "I didn't plan on coming out here and fighting these battles. I was raised with the idea that at best I'd hopefully get married and have kids while working a 9-5 job." I knew he probably didn't understand all my implications but that didn't stop me. "Ten years ago, I never could've dreamed I'd be standing here even having this conversation with you. So when you infer that you were struggling with feeling that I'm not cut out for this job and not the best at it, you're actually right."

"Now Brenna that's not-"

"Furthermore, I'll have you know that I'm doing a pretty good job with handling my existence right now. I'm pretty sure a lesser minded person would've gone stark raving mad years ago. But no, I've held it together fairly well. While I'm slightly crazy, I haven't crossed fully over. So given those factors I'm actually fairly good at the job that I do do." Having fully confused him, I could tell from the way he continued to watch me, probably for signs of sleep deprivation or other such things that could induce such a tangent, I smiled and walked closer. He didn't flinch, though I did see his jaw tighten slightly when I reached out and laid a hand against his cheek. "Basically I'm saying I acknowledge my lunacy and I accept your apology." I gave him a quick peck on the cheek before turning and heading back out into the main room.

I heard him following after me, though he didn't comment on what I'd said or on my kiss. Instead we were both pleasantly surprised to find that both Kirk and Spock were already lying on the biobeds in their natural forms again. When I say natural, I mean they were quite human and quite naked. Having never seen a Vulcan naked, let alone Spock, I of course let my eyes wander more than perhaps they should. He, thankfully, was none the wiser considering he was still asleep.

"That was much faster than she said it'd take; I hope that's not another bad sign." Scotty was saying, having obviously stopped petting Kirk now that he was human.

I stepped closer, helping Christine cover both men with blankets, "Should we wake them?"

"I think it'd be best to let them wake in their own time. Their systems have already undergone enough shock as it is. I think they'd adjust better to being their old selves if they woke up naturally." Mac ran a scanner over both men and nodded. "Everything is back to normal; real normal this time it seems."

"Should we tell Stentson?" Christine was already moving towards the comm link.

Mac frowned but nodded, "I suppose the lunatic should know her serum worked."

With that accomplished, we played the waiting game. Scotty left, having been called back to engineering, while Christine set about her other duties as well. That left Mac and I as bed babysitters. Neither one of us talked, we were both lost in our own thoughts, but thankfully it wasn't much past forty-five minutes later when Spock began to stir.

"How're you feeling?" Mac was immediately by his side, scanner in hand.

"While my head is aching and my muscles are stiff, I am adequately well doctor." Spock slowly sat up, obviously still not altogether ready to bounce off the bed and into action.

When he noted his nudity, and my presence, I could see a slight twitching of his left eye. Oh it felt good getting under his skin.

"May I ask if the captain has recovered yet?" Spock turned his attention back to Mac, doing his best to ignore me.

"I'm waking up," Kirk swore under his breath causing all of us to turn our attention towards him, "My mouth feels like cotton."

I grabbed a glass of water Christine had left nearby and helped Kirk drink. He wasn't as hell-bent on sitting up as Spock had been. In fact he seemed fairly content to lay there and grimace.

"How are you feeling?" I placed the now empty glass on the bedside table and stared down into Kirk's frowning face. There were no traces of the hound there, which a small part of me found disappointing.

"Like hell." He groaned and grabbed at his stomach. "Did I eat while I was, er, gone?"

I smiled, "You ate like a pig, though you were the cutest Wolfhound."

"Please, don't." He finally moved to sit up. "Don't talk about how cute I was. I'd rather not think about it."

"But-" Kirk raised his hand and I fell silent. I'd try to wheedle details out of him later.

"How about your brains?" Mac went on to ask. "How're you feeling up there?"

Spock raised an eyebrow, "If you are asking after my mental stability having experienced a brief moment as an Earth canine, I can assure you that while I am fatigued I am stable."

"Yeah me too Bones." Kirk continued to grab at his stomach. "Except I don't think my stomach is appreciating whatever Brenna put in there."

"Actually Scotty took care of you, I," I smiled over at Spock, "took care of Spock."

Kirk glanced at me, "When you say took care of what do you mean?"

"Well, it means I fed you, cleaned up after you, petted you, and made sure you didn't-"

"You don't need to go on, Lieutenant Jones. I believe the captain and I are sufficiently aware of how you tended to our needs."

Oh he didn't want me to talk about petting him did he? I continued to smile. Mac took note of the mischievous glint I most likely had and I saw the corners of his mouth tug.

"How much do you remember, you know, as a dog?"

Kirk groaned, "It's mostly images, smells, after tastes, some ghost touches. Why?"

"I wonder if you'll remember more in dreams." I tipped my head to the side and tapped my chin. "That'd be most enlightening I think. Especially since Stentson said the formula brought forth the basest of natures in man." I winked at Mac. "Now if you don't mind, as much as I enjoy being in the presence of two nude superior officers, I think I should get back to my duties."

Mac nodded. Kirk only waved me away. I saw Spock's eyes twitch again and that only made me smile all the more as I strutted out the door. I'd probably pay for that comment later; if he did remember me playing with his ears and scratching his belly I'd probably pay for that too. But it wasn't like I forced him. He'd practically begged me to, with his puppy dog eyes. No matter; whatever punishment he dealt out would indeed be worth it.


	5. Side effects and Apologies

I still hadn't heard from either Spock or Kirk two days later. We were successfully rid of both Stentson and her formula and back on our original plan of rendezvousing at Earth for the Vulcan relocation mission. The Valentines Day play/celebration was postponed until after we would have the Vulcans aboard-though how carefully thought out that was I don't know. Why on Earth, or the now non-existent Vulcan, would Vulcans want to be around a bunch of humans celebrating the sappiest holiday ever, especially after a number of them had probably lost loved ones? Of course, no matter my arguments against the idea, it was put through and approved. I could only sigh and shake my head, readying myself for the forthcoming fallout.

Aside from that, people continued to buzz about the "canine incident" but no one was daring enough to actually approach either Kirk or Spock about it. Of course no one would ever forget it, especially not since it was noted in both the head counselor's notes and my own. I often caught snippets of conversations here and there, but most would stop when I came close. The curse or blessing of being associated with the counseling department, full honesty and yet shielding. Christine of course hadn't held anything back. She'd fully questioned me and offered up her opinions on the matter, laughing into her Scotch the entire time. I'd managed to get her and Scotty into the same room and watch as they'd competed in the drinking-so far it was 1-0, in Scotty's favor but Christine demanded a rematch.

In the two days since, Kirk and Spock had both avoided me, or at least kept themselves busy elsewhere. Scotty and Kirk had seemed to tiptoe around each other a bit at first but after a few awkward moments they were back to their old selves, and in fact, seemed almost closer than before. Kirk and Spock still seemed a bit tense around each other but had managed to work together perfectly fine. Mac hadn't come by my office but he and I were on speaking terms and friendly enough. Perhaps he needed more time to forgive himself for being a douche since I had already done so.

"Lieutenant Jones." I looked up from the non regulation deck of cards-I'd been playing solitaire—to find Spock taking up my doorway. "May I speak with you a moment?"

"Sure," I quickly opened the drawer directly beneath my desk and shoved the cards in, "What can I do for you?"

Spock didn't reply until he was seated directly across from me, "You should take note of the information on this PADD." He placed said PADD on the desk then pulled his hand back into his lap.

"What's on it?" I questioned as I barely resisted the urge to shake it like a magic 8 ball.

"I have recorded the side effects and lingering sensations that have occurred during the past two days since my time as a canine. I believe you and the head counselor will be able to use the notes to create a file that may be used in case a situation like this occurs again. Though the likelihood is low it is still possible."

I could only blink a few times as my mind screamed the question, he just willingly handed over personal info? After my momentary shock, I remembered that I was the assistant counselor in this 'verse and as such it was perfectly proper for him to trust me. No one else in their right mind would ever hand over blackmail material like this—though I couldn't quite figure out how I could blackmail Spock with something he willingly offered up.

"Why didn't you just give this to the head counselor then?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.

Spock folded his hands in his lap, "I wanted to question you about what happened previous to my collapse in Doctor Stentson's quarters."

I gulped. He would have to remember the fact that I hadn't been right on his heels and, knowing my luck, Mac had written a report citing my lack of comm badge at the time of the incident.

"Yes?" I tried to sound innocent but it only came out sounding guilty.

"Lieutenant, you must realize that going about your duties without a comm badge and not remaining at your post are both punishable by letter of reprimand and possible demotion." I nodded. "I have also read through reports written by the doctor, Lieutenant Scott, and the rest of the crew involved." I nodded again, not knowing where he was going this time. "They mentioned that your attention to detail and care for both myself and the captain while we were in our incapacitated state were highly commendable. The doctor even said that if it hadn't been for your unorthodox 'bluff,' I believe was the term he used, we may not have come through this."

I shrugged, "What are you getting at Spock?" He raised an eyebrow at my lack of decorum. "I mean are you going to demote me? I'd rather you just tell me and get it over with."

"On the contrary, Lieutenant Jones, you are to be awarded letters of commendation from both myself and the doctor on your exemplary behavior."

My mouth dropped open, of that I know. How in the heck did they get letter of commendation out of me acting like a cowardly dorkwad who for a brief moment found the gumption to stare down a creepy old lady? Man, Starfleet was weird.

"Lieutenant." I looked up to find Spock staring at me. Apparently I hadn't closed my mouth or responded. "Do you have anything to say in response?"

"Um, thank you I guess?"

"Thank you?" He tipped his head to the side slightly. "I have never before encountered this response to such a statement."

I smiled, "Well I'm a wee bit out of the ordinary, as I'm sure you've already come to realize." He didn't respond but continued to sit there. "Is there something else you wanted to tell me?"

He seemed to hesitate slightly, "There is something that I did not include on the PADD that I have decided would be best to tell you so that you may add it later."

"That would be?"

"During the past two days I have found it difficult to maintain my natural state."

Puzzled by this statement, I asked, "What do you mean?"

"I have found myself illogically repelled by the mere presence of some members of the crew while drawn to other members. Certain sights, tastes, smells, or sounds trigger an instinctive reaction that I logically know is not instinctive to myself."

"Care to elaborate on which things trigger the reaction and which people repel or attract?"

Spock, for a Vulcan, looked slightly uncomfortable for a moment before he continued, "The smells of food and body odor as well as the sounds of metallic objects scraping against other metallic objects all cause me to have a physical reaction akin to what humans may call a grimace. In addition, I find myself noticing the anatomical differences amongst the female crew." Shocked but intrigued to know what else he'd say, I nodded and waved for him to continue. "I know it is illogical but for the past two days, when interacting with the captain, I have encountered a sense of aggression and awareness that was never there before." Spock and Kirk had been told about the incident in the gym by the head counselor so thankfully I didn't have to tell him that Kirk, as a dog, had dry humped him. "And also there is you, Lieutenant."

"Eh?" I scratched my head. "You feel aggression towards me?"

"No Lieutenant, I find myself inclined to illogically seek you out."

My eyes widened and for the second time during our conversation my mouth dropped open. Even if he had been feeling this, as he was now saying he had been, he'd been doing a damn fine job of avoiding me. This was the first I'd really seen or talked to him since seeing him naked in sickbay. Which, I'll admit, the sight had come back to me in dream form at least once since then as well. What can I say? Spock had a great body!

"I believe this is due to the fact that you cared for me while I was in canine-state and from what I have studied about Earth canines, they are very loyal creatures. I believe the lingering instincts to protect and follow my 'owner' yet remain deep within my subconscious."

So Spock felt like he was my pet? What kind of sick, perverted fan-girl fantasy was I living out? I had to keep my amusement in check, though it was proving difficult as I knew Spock could see a smile tugging at my lips.

"I'll be sure to make note of those things Commander Spock." I allowed myself to smile politely as I took time to fold my hands together and place them on my desk. "Is there anything I can do to help you in regards to these sensations? While you are no longer covered in fur, if you believe it will help, I do not mind scratching your belly or rubbing your ears again."

If he had the ability to look taken aback I'm sure he would've just then. Never before had I been so forward, or suggestive, towards him. Perhaps no human had. I could only guess what Uhura had or was saying to him—not that I wanted to guess. Before Spock could order me to the brig for lewdness I chuckled and held up my hand.

"I'm only teasing Commander. I know these things wouldn't help, nor would they be proper." I refrained from winking, though I really really wanted to. "But I am serious about my question. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Spock shook his head after a moment of silence, "There is nothing, Lieutenant." He sat there a moment longer then stiffly stood. "Be sure to make note of the additional statements."

"I will." I stood as well, making the moment even more awkward it seemed because now he was hesitating again. "Is there anything else Commander?"

"Are Vulcan ears an object of desirable curiosity among human females?"

He took me off-guard with his question. I really had expected him to beat around the bush more, or play "hard to get" about that point. It took me a moment to recover and nod, a soft smile on my lips.

"Humans have grown up with elves and fairies in our folklore and mythology." I picked up my PADD and quickly pulled up pictures to show him. As he scanned through the pictures I continued, "These creatures both had pointed ears and were traditionally much sought after; humans believed they would bring them luck or wealth, etcetera. Sometimes the only physical features that would set elves apart from humans were their ears and their detached, slightly apathetic, or ethereal behavior. It would only be logical that when a species of aliens presented themselves to humans who also have 'elf-like' ears and who seemed ethereal and detached, that humans would naturally be curious about touching their ears and perhaps others parts of their bodies." I blushed at my last comment and noticed that his fingers stiffened slightly on the PADD before he handed it back to me. "Does that answer your question?"

He nodded, "I was curious as to why you would make such a comment about my ears while I was in canine form; you have explained sufficiently." He stood up to his full height. "Thank you." He left me gaping in both amusement and surprise; he remembered what I'd said!

I was still flabbergasted when Mac, surprisingly, appeared at my door holding two mugs. At my confused look he smiled. "Tea time?"

"Yes, somewhere in the universe, it is tea time, so why not here and now." I accepted the still steaming mug and gestured for him to sit.

We sat in companionable silence, each sipping at our tea, until he finally broke it with a sigh. He launched into his tangent without pretext or explanation, but I took it in stride.

"We got married young. We were foolish, selfish, headstrong, and opinionated; basically, two people who had no right to get married, let alone to each other. But we did." His fingers tapped against the outside of his mug. "Those first years were some of the best and worst of my life."

He grew silent and fearing that if I spoke he wouldn't continue I kept my head bowed slightly, my lips pressed against the warm mug.

"When you care for someone, I mean really care, you have the power to build them up or tear them down. Sometimes the more you love someone the nastier you are towards them, or at least, can be towards them. That's what we were, and are. Even after our girl was born," his eyes took on a soft note at the thought of his daughter, of whom he had not previously mentioned, "we still tore at each other like a couple of honey badgers, neither one of us wanting to give up or give out."

When he lapsed into a longer silence I did speak, "Why are you telling me this?"

"You said you never expected to be out here in the wild, black yonder fighting aliens and having to deal with captains as canines. That you were doing a fairly good job of keeping it together despite the fact that you always thought you were cut out for a much smaller, simpler life." I nodded, surprised that he remembered that much; but then again he was always one for remembering details. "You aren't alone in that sentiment Brenna. If it hadn't been for Joanna finally throwing in the towel and calling me out on my demons, forcing me to come to a reckoning with the dirty truth, I wouldn't be here."

I leaned forward and set my mug down, "What dirty truth? What demons?"

Mac didn't answer for a few moments. Perhaps he was wrestling with some of those demons now, or perhaps he was weighing how much he should share.

"You said that you thought you were a coward and incompetent. I too have been called that. As both a man and as a father, I have been found lacking. To escape the reality I'd created, I buried myself in work or booze, detaching myself from the people I should've cared for and protected, but who I only ended up hurting." His troubled gaze met mine and I felt a corner of my heart awaken in a way that it hadn't been in over seven years. "If I'm hard on you, Brenna, it is because I don't want you to end up like me, a bitter old man."

I smirked, "Well if you are bitter you aren't old, and if you are hard on me, it's probably because I deserve it, as I'm sure you realize you receive similar treatment from me."

"Yes, well," he tipped his mug up and downed the rest of its contents, "I just wanted to clear that up."

I stood up and came around my desk. He stood as well, looking uncertain about my intentions. I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist and gave him a squeeze. He wrapped his arms around me for a brief moment, returning the gesture. When I stepped back I found him smiling down at me and I smiled back.

"We're clear." I handed him the mug. "Now if you find Kirk, tell him to get his arse in here so I can bugger him with questions about what it's like to literally be a dog."

Mac chuckled, "I'll be sure to do that."

After he left I couldn't stop the melancholy from seeping in. How incompetent of a mother was I, only seeing my son on occasion, leaving him with an obnoxious and irresponsible being like Q? I buried myself in my "work" and allowed Q's whims to cloud my brain much like booze did. Mac didn't seem to know how similar we really were, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell him.


	6. A little late on the forewarning

Q came by that evening; he must've sensed my angst. He even allowed Caiden and I some time "off 'verse" in order to really catch up. Apparently Q had been showing Caiden the art of jumping through different timelines, sewing them together, or taking them apart. I wasn't certain how I felt about this, but it was pertinent to my "job" with Q so I appreciated his efforts to keep me close-though I'm sure that's what he WASN'T doing in the first place. What had been hours for Caiden and I, almost a whole day in fact, were mere minutes in the universe I now found myself in. Q had me deposited back in my empty office right before Christine showed up demanding that the rematch be that evening.

Of course Scotty lost, Christine had been determined after all, however I was the one left with the job of escorting Christine back to her quarters. Needless to say I wasn't too much better, being a little bit past tipsy myself. I shouldn't have been surprised that we were caught, giggling like school girls, in the corridor by Spock. Nor should I have been surprised that he wrote us both up for inappropriate behavior. I definitely wasn't surprised when Christine tried to take a swing at him, she hadn't taken his comment about her drinking behavior and allusion to wanton behavior lightly. I certainly wasn't surprised when she missed and ended up falling into him. I was a little bit surprised when she tried to kiss him but missed and got his chin. I was definitely surprised when Spock didn't have a chance to push her off, but Uhura happened by and yanked her off. Not wanting Uhura to chew the innocently drunk Christine up, I swerved in and retrieved the sputtering lady.

I managed to get her to her quarters and myself to my own without further mishap, if you took out the fact that I ran into Kirk and threw up on his shoes out-thankfully he was kind enough to not write me up once I promised him anything he wanted, whenever he wanted it. I knew I'd pay for that later, and I had yet to know what he was going to ask for, or when. He'd left me with a sly smile on his face and now, days later, I was left with a little worry in the back of my head as to what he had cooking in that brain of his. I was curious if my time was running out, at least my time of safety away from him, and if karma was catching up with me.

"Have you heard of karma?" I asked Mac as he lounged in my office chair.

The ship had finally docked at Earth station and most of the crew had been given shore leave for the evening. I was just finishing up some work while Mac was gloating about already being done. I didn't know why he was hanging around my office if he was free to leave but at least he wasn't annoying me, yet.

"Of course I have." He smiled, "I always enjoy pointing it out to others."

I shook my head, "With all your teasing of Spock and Jim you're going to get it two-fold should something awkward ever happen to you."

After I had sent him on the mission to find Kirk, he'd taken it upon himself to tease both Kirk and Spock about having been dogs. For the remaining three days that it took come back to earth, in almost every conversation, he'd managed to insert some allusion or pun pertaining to canines.

Mac laughed, obviously finding the idea of something awkward happening to him funny. Either that or the idea that something more awkward than what had happened between Spock and Kirk could happen to him was incredulous.

"I'm not too worried about it." He suddenly sat up. "Could you imagine how things might've been different if those scientists had chosen us as test subjects?" His eyes had a seductive glint and against my better judgment I felt my stomach quiver. Almost the day after he'd shared the more intimate details of his dirtier past, he'd returned to his old teasing self and I to my old reciprocating self. "I'm sure we'd be teased but," He was standing up and leaning over my desk now, a position we'd been in before the whole incident had happened, "I think we'd have given them more fodder to tease us about don't you think?"

He was truly incorrigible, but I found that I enjoyed that about him. I was surprised at how fast he could move, in both words and body, but again I didn't find that bothersome in the least. In fact, I found myself rising to the occasion.

"I'm sure we would have but," I too stood up and placed my hands on the desk, bringing us almost nose-to-nose, "we weren't their test subjects and a certain someone has yet to make a true move to take us to a point where teasing would be well based." I smiled at his expression. Score one for me and zero for him. "Now unless you have something in particular to say to me," I pointed my chin towards the door over his shoulder, "I have things to finish up before I can enjoy my leisure time."

Surprised, flustered, and a bit confused by my signals, Mac tensed his jaw and nodded. He recognized the challenge I'd set before him. It was one thing to ask me out on a remote colony, and have it not happen because of strange occurrences, and another thing to eat in the mess hall together, but to actually spend Earth-side shore leave together would signal to most of the crew that something was going on between us. From the looks of things, it appeared he wasn't quite sure if he was ready to take us beyond the flirtatious-behind-the-scenes level yet.

"I'll see you later." He spoke as he stood upright and moved towards the door.

"I'd expect you to." I grinned at his expression and continued to smile as I sat down. I continued working until finally I was on my last PADD and I was still waiting to see if Mac would step up to the plate.

"So now that things are more settled," I looked up to find Kirk hovering in my doorway. He hadn't been by since we'd handed the team of scientists over to higher-ups in Starfleet for proper handling. I hoped that the head counselor had gotten to him, because I certainly hadn't. After what had happened I'm sure he had a few kinks to work out. "Now that we are back to Earth," he continued and I nodded, bringing myself back to the present, "and our previous mission involving the Vulcans is back on track, I have something I'd like to talk to you about."

While it could still pertain to his incident with Spock and the scientists, looking at his face that seemed unlikely to be the case. I gave him my full attention and nodded.

"You know of the whole incident with the _Nareda_ and how the ship was from the future."

I nodded again, "I read the reports so I know the general gist of it yes. But I get the feeling that you know more than the reports."

"Well," he stalled for a moment, "it seems that that ship was not the only thing from the future that came back."

He fell silent, apparently trying to let me figure out on my own steam what he meant. When I continued to stare blankly at him he waved a hand in the air to further prompt me.

I shook my head and leaned forward, "Captain, just tell me what you're dancing around. I may be a ship's assistant counselor, and we may have the reputation for patience, but I'm not one of those counselors."

"Spock from a future reality came back to our present."

Suddenly, I was floored for the second time, and for a completely different reason, in one day. Spock, was it my Spock, was in this reality? How did I feel about this? Happy, scared, joyful, nervous? What did I feel beyond absolute shock and reluctant admiration for Q's ingenuity?

"You're absolutely sure about that?" I inquired, proud of myself for keeping the nervous shake out of my voice.

Kirk's face scrunched up into an odd expression, "I was the first to meet him on Delta Vega after our own dear Spock marooned me."

"Yes, I know of the incident. But how do you know he is actually Spock?"

"He played tennis with my brain."

"Excuse me?"

Kirk sighed, "He figured it'd be easier to explain things by mind melding with me than by actually talking. In some ways I agree while in others," he rubbed his head, "I seriously disagree. Do you know what it's like to have another being run around inside your head, with the ability to look at every thought and every feeling you've ever had in addition to planting their own memories and feelings in there too? Not only that but sometimes, its almost like I can still feel traces of him there."

"Yes, actually I do." I wasn't about to tell him intimate details about Tovak. "I've experienced a meld or two myself."

"Really?" he looked genuinely surprised. "Spock, our Spock, told me that it was very rare and actually almost forbidden with non-Vulcans." I didn't ask why he knew Spock's opinions on mind-melds. "How do you know about mind melds?"

I looked down at my desk for inspiration and then looked up with a smile, "Let's just say a few Vulcans found me charming enough to break with tradition."

"Wow."

"Yeah, my reaction too."

He nodded and was the lost in thought for a moment. It took me clearing my throat and gesturing with my hands for him to finally continue.

"Oh!" He leaned forward again. "Well this other Spock is among the survivors we'll be transporting on this mission. I just wanted you to know because I thought I might need some help keeping our Spock and that Spock away from each other."

"Fear of time-space-continuum rifts occurring should they meet each other?" Kirk looked confused and my statement and I smiled. "Never mind. You were saying?"

"Well I just need help keeping any possible meetings from happening, or if they do happen, help keeping things smooth and low key."

"I'll definitely do my best to help avoid the apocalypse."

Kirk laughed at my dire words, "Perhaps it won't and wouldn't be all that bad but still just a heads up."

I nodded, "In any case it shouldn't be as bad as those scientists."

Kirk winced at the memory. "I don't know if I'll ever look at a dog, or dog food, the same way ever again."

I nodded, "If there's anything I can do to help just let me know."

"Well," Kirk smiled, the mischievous glint coming back, "can a sweet kiss coat over a sour memory?"

"Aren't you waxing poetic now?" I laughed at his innocent look. I stood up, as did he, and walked around the desk to face him. He looked eager for something and I smiled. "I'm willing to do whatever I can, within an appropriate setting, to help you." I opened my arms and stepped forward. He seemed surprised by the hug but not resistant. Perhaps to those in Starfleet it would be bad for me to hug my captain but I didn't care, and it seemed that he didn't either. I needed the hug, for my own reasons, and he needed it for his. In any case when I stepped back and placed a light kiss on his cheek he seemed a bit more relaxed. "Want me to grab you anything while I'm on shore leave?"

He chuckled, "How good are you at talking to women in bars?"

I swatted his arm and he beat a hasty retreat. Once he was gone, I sat down and sighed. If Q said that he allowed the other crew members to retain memories of me through dreams then perhaps this older Spock would remember me, albeit vaguely, and that could of course throw a wrench in this little charade. I dropped my head, painfully, onto my desk and sighed deeply. This was a buggerty situation indeed.

However, thankfully, I was distracted from my stress when Mac popped his head in at least an hour later—long enough for him to sulk properly—and finally asked me out. I of course said yes. All non-essential crewmembers had been granted evening shore leave, with a "curfew" of midnight and no later. I almost felt like Cinderella with that sort of curfew in effect.

In any case, I was smiling as I left my office and got ready. Mac had promised me a good time and I wasn't about to let worry over the uncertainty with the "other" Spock to ruin my evening. I continued to smile and laugh all through dinner at a nice restaurant in downtown San Francisco. I kept my comments about how much had changed since the 21st century to myself; I didn't think he'd handle the truth very well at the moment. But seriously, a whole hellofalot had changed since the 21st century; it was mindblasting. I managed to turn off that section of my brain, the section that was sane and logical, and instead turned on the section that allowed me to displace myself from what should be my reality and instead enjoy what shouldn't be reality at all.

We left the restaurant and walked along the Bay. We traded stories about earlier education years; I of course left out details that could incriminate me with dates or times. We shared laughs when we realized we had been similar temperaments as children. In all, it was a lovely evening, and I couldn't stop smiling. At least I couldn't until when, on our way back to our shuttlecraft, we happened upon a large group of agitated xenophobic demonstrators. Ever since the _Narada _incident more and more xenophobic demonstrations had occurred all across earth and even on some human colonies. Even though Federation allies had had nothing to do with the attack, that didn't stop illogical human passions from raging and stupid acts of violence from occurring.

I pressed closer to Mac when we tried to get through the crowd to the other side where the other Enterprise crew was waiting to rendezvous. I could see Christine and Scotty also stuck in the crowd, struggling to get through. Mac kept close to my side, holding onto my elbow. When a few of the demonstrators recognized Mac as a Starfleet officer and decided to target him in their anger, everything happened to fast to recall the order. I honestly don't remember what I was doing when, as Mac was pulled away from me by the demonstrators, I got hit in the head and the world around me suddenly went black.


	7. Torturous times

_This chapter contains relatively graphic violence. If you don't like or can't handle this I suggest you skip to the end of this chapter._

* * *

The world slowly blinked into focus. Before my vision became clear, I immediately wished I was unconscious again. My head was pounding from where I'd been struck and my bladder was aching. No I hadn't been punched in the bladder; I needed to pee like crazy. Not a good combination when added to that fact I found myself tied up and left in a dark corner of either some room or some ship or something, because I seriously have no idea where I am—though thankfully I know who I am—nor do I know when the next bathroom break will be.

As I sat there, fighting back the urge to vomit from the dizziness, I quickly went over the last few moments I'd been aware. When I remembered where I'd been and who I'd been with I tensed up and tried to look around. I saw no sign of Mac, nor did I hear any signs of him—I'm sure if he was here and awake he'd be cursing to high heaven. Did that mean he had gotten away? Or did that mean that he was still unconscious or…dead?

I flexed all my muscles to ensure myself that I was still all there. When only aching joints and muscles responded to my wordless question I knew I was all intact, though not exactly well. Who knew how long I'd been in this position, trounced up like a calf in a calf-roping contest. My arms were tied behind my back and my ankles laced together as well. Basically there would be no daring escape on my part, at least not until I managed to somehow untie myself. If my body was telling me the truth it had probably been hours. Some of my joints felt near on fire they hadn't been moved in so long.

"Hey Frank!" A loud voice from off to my left alerted me to the fact that I wasn't alone. "She's awake!" No shit Sherlock…give the man a cookie.

Moments later I was seized by my shoulders and bodily lifted until I was eyelevel with one of the largest men I've ever met—and I've met some rather large ones in my travels. My feet were dangling, my toes barely touching the floor below, and my shoulders hurt from where he continued to hold me up. I squinted in order to better see him but then immediately tried to blur out his face, figuring maybe it would be best to not be able to recognize anyone or anything—that might ensure a better chance of survival in the long run.

"What is your name and rank?" The man growled, making me want to gag when I got a good whiff of his breath—tuna and peanut butter, what a combo!

I remained silent a moment longer, allowing myself time to further adjust to the darkness around me. I came to realize that I was actually just one of over three dozen other females, all similarly tied up and discarded around the edges of the room. The others seemed to be mostly awake, but were silently watching. From what I could see, they were all in different stages of terror—not a good sign. Some looked like they'd been pushed around and perhaps tortured while others merely looked frightened. Everyone seemed to be human, or at least humanoid, which either made perfect sense or no sense at all, considering the last group I'd been surrounded by, had been xenophobes.

I was about to answer when my eyes fell on the still unconscious form of Christine. From the looks of it, they hadn't yet gotten to her. I was thankful I'd woken up first. I had been through torture before, not that I was a fan, and while I was a pansy I felt it was better that I, the lady in the wrong universe/timeline, was tortured.

"I'll only answer that if and when you inform me as to where I am, why I have been taken, and what you plan to do with me and these other women." Brave words considering I'm quite a chicken in all actuality.

The man must've realized that because he laughed, some of his spit splattering across my face. Then he dropped me to the floor so suddenly I didn't have time to prepare myself. I heard a crack and yelled in pain when both my knees smacked against the hard floor. White fire of awareness slicked up my nerves as I rolled over and tried to scoot further away but was just as quickly seized by the hair and jerked up to face the man again.

"Name and rank!"

Doing my best to seize Spock-like apathy, I raised an eyebrow and was promptly smacked in the face, my lower lip splitting against my teeth. I ended up sprawled on the floor, my forehead cracking against it. My vision blurred and I felt warm liquid begin to stream past my eyes. My forehead had slit open on the uneven floor. Still too dazed to do much more than whimper, my hair was seized again and my head jerked around until I faced the man, though I still lay sprawled, helpless, on the floor.

"What do you care?" I growled out, tasting blood in my mouth. "It's not like you can do much with just us!"

The man lowered himself until he was eye level, "Those idiots were what brought that ship to our front door." I knew he was referring to Starfleet and the _Nareda_ but kept silent, figuring he'd explain himself in time. "Our entire planet was nearly destroyed because of them, those corrupt Starfleet officers in their high towers. They always want to stick their noses in some other planet's business, always end up bringing more death and destruction to humanity than any possible benefit meeting these aliens could provide."

I suddenly realized with a sickening horror that this was an organized group dedicated to the downfall of Starfleet—and now that I'm "officially" a member of Starfleet I was officially screwed. Damn! I'd known these groups had existed, at least on other planets, but had never before realized that they could exist on Earth. But given the most recent events I can't say that I'm surprised.

"Of course, this wasn't the first time our planet has been threatened because of a Starfleet blunder." He continued his tangent and I continued to ponder chances of survival. "It doesn't seem all that long ago when the Xindi managed to destroy a good portion of this continent before anyone had time to sneeze." The man scowled as he stood up to his impressive height again. "Most of my family died in that attack. My grandmother and my father were off-planet when it happened."

I quickly went over timelines in my head until I remembered who the Xindi were and when exactly that attack had taken place. It was true that it'd happened suddenly and without warning. But Archer's Enterprise had won out in the end. However, it seemed that this particular individual, along with his followers, was keen on overlooking that little tidbit of historical fact.

"I've dedicated my life to bringing down those responsible for continually putting our planet and our species in jeopardy. They will pay for their mistakes; for risking our planet and our homes, our very lives, all for the sake of petty profit and universal prestige."

I shook my head then, my stomach lurching from the action, "You do realize that the protection of our planet and our species is also in the hands of those you are seeking to destroy right?"

My ears were ringing when he suddenly smashed both his hands into the sides of my head in response to my question. So maybe it would be best to keep my mouth shut for the time being. I was quickly hauled to my feet again, but this time dragged to a chair and abruptly dropped in it.

The man signaled someone and soon a table full of metallic instruments was brought forward into the light. I gulped at the sight and quickly focused my attention back on the man. It would do no good to focus on impending doom. I had to keep my wits about me if I was going to survive this.

"What do you want with me? I'm just a single woman. What good would harming me bring? I'm a human, like you, this is my planet, like you. Why are you attacking me?" I tried to reason with him, morbidly wondering if reason and logic would work with this guy.

He turned to the table and took time in deciding which tool to use first. In that time frame, my arms were untied then retied to the armrests of the chair, my head lashed to the back of it, and my ankles shackled to the bottom. There would be no escaping for me. The man stepped forward and my eyes fell onto the shiny object in his hands. I didn't know what it was supposed to be but I knew whatever it was it would most certainly hurt like hell.

"You are in league with Starfleet and therefore you have abdicated any right to humane treatment." He was bending down, bringing the tool closer. "It is exactly because you are a female member of Starfleet that I'm doing this. You and all these other women represent a fact about Starfleet that they seem to have overlooked." Was this guy going where I thought he was going? Could a sexist bastard still exist in a time where bigger issues, like universal peace, were prevalent? "Women are only useful for a few things and one of them is providing amble amount of opportunity to strike at the heart of the enemy, in this case Starfleet itself."

I felt something cold press against my finger tip and I managed to glance down to see that the tool he had was, in fact, engineered to remove fingernails. I felt sick to my stomach as a terror I hadn't felt in years—at least not since my last near death experience—rose up inside me. Images of Caiden rushed into my head and I nearly vomited at the thought of leaving him behind. Where was Q when I actually needed him?

"Starfleet needs to understand that they are the real enemies of humanity, not unseen threats somewhere far out in the galaxy. They are the ones who bring home the threats; they are the ones who will eventually bring about the end of life itself. That is why we are here," he leaned in closer and again I could smell his rancid breath, "that is why we do what we do."

I felt discomfort growing in my hand and knew that he was getting the tool into place.

"What do you want me to do?" I felt my voice waver as tears welled up in my eyes. "What can I say to make you stop?"

The man smiled and I knew then that there was no reasoning with him.

"Just sit back and enjoy the ride."

I was aware of extreme pain and screamed out only to have something stuffed in my mouth to gag me. I couldn't see past my tears as I continued to scream against the gag and weep as the pain came upon me in endless waves. Then I passed out.

When I woke again I was still tied to the chair. My whole body was shaking, weak and covered in urine and a cold sweat. My hands were on fire with pain, my stomach in equal amounts of discomfort—I could only imagine what he'd done to me down there while I'd been passed out. I tasted bile in my mouth and knew that I'd thrown up at some point.

I glanced around the room and found to my horror that Christine was now awake and strapped to a similar chair not far from me. Her face was bleeding from multiple cuts and she too was gagged. I couldn't tell where else they'd hurt her but she looked to be in great pain. When we made eye contact I suddenly felt strength coming back into my body. We had to survive this. Caiden was waiting for me. The Enterprise was waiting for Christine. We couldn't die like this. We wouldn't.

Blinking away the crusted blood on my eyes, I continued searching around the room. The man I'd first encountered—and hoped to high heaven I could eventually kill—was gone. He had been replaced by a younger man who appeared to be cleaning the instruments the previous man had used on me.

"Don't look up." I heard his whisper softly. "Don't even acknowledge that I'm talking to you." It took every ounce of willpower to comply with his instructions. "I am Agent Turner, I work with Section 31." For the life of me I couldn't remember what Section 31 was but right now I don't give a damn, if Section 31 meant that I was going to be rescued then bless them! "I can't tell you much but don't worry this will all be over soon enough."

Before I could question him further, he disappeared into the darkness again only to be replaced by the devil himself, or at least that's what I'd taken to calling the man who'd caused me so much pain.

"You don't care if we live or die do you?" I croaked out, my voice painfully hoarse from all my screaming.

He smiled, "As long as my point gets across then no I don't." He bent down closer and pushed my hair out of my face. "I want Starfleet to understand what it's like to feel vulnerable and helpless. To know that they aren't as well loved as they seem to fool themselves into thinking. Yes, that means that I will have to bloody my hands with the lives of a number of women, but you lot are far from innocent victims. You knew the risk when you signed on for Starfleet. So don't expect to get any mercy from me." He stood up again. "In fact, I think I'll enjoy killing you."

He pulled out a gun, or at least I could only assume it was a gun, and pressed it to my forehead. Was this really going to be where I died? Was Q really going to allow me to die here, like this? What the hell was going on? I closed my eyes, not wanting the man's face to be the last thing I saw before I died. Instead I pictured everyone else I'd prefer to see.

Then suddenly the world erupted into chaos. I opened my eyes just in time for the man to fall into my lap, his head busted open from some kind of wound. I tried not to think about the fact that his brains were now leaking into my lap. Instead I watched as the room was suddenly filled with flashing lights as phaser fire was traded between my captors and those who were hopefully here to rescue me and the other women.

"Here." The heavy weight of the man was pulled out of my lap and I looked up to find Agent Turner standing over me. "Let me help you." It didn't take him long to release me from my bonds. He tried to help me stand but I yelped in pain. There was no way I could walk out of here on my own two feet. "Hold on." He tucked away his phaser and quickly lifted me into his arms.

I looked around again as he moved towards the hole they'd blasted into the side of the building. Christine was being helped by an agent, though she was managing to do it on her own feet. The other women were also being freed and rescued by a number of agents while still other agents provided cover fire. It was all happening so suddenly that I still did not quite comprehend what was going on even after Agent Turner deposited me outside on a stretcher.

"You're safe now." He touched the top of my head and gave me a slight smile. "Don't worry. We won't let these men harm anyone ever again." With that he turned and disappeared back into the building, leaving me and the rest of the women dazed.

My eyes searched out for Christine and I only relaxed onto the stretcher when I found her. She hobbled over to me and reached down for my hand. Tears were streaking down her cheek and as I watched I realized I was crying too. I couldn't squeeze her hand, the muscles in my forearm wouldn't work, but I smiled.

"We'll live to drink another day." My voice cracked numerous times even on so few words. She smiled back and nodded. A medic came by and ushered her over to her own stretcher so that he could see to her.

Now alone, with a medic hovering by my side, I took stock of where we were. We were still by the Bay, though not anywhere near where I'd been the night before—or whenever I'd first been taken. It was daylight out but again I had no way of knowing how long it had been.

"Name and rank." One of the medics spoke near my ear as I was hoisted up into a shuttlecraft, he'd pressed a hypospray to my neck moments before.

"Lieutenant Jones. I'm an officer on the Enterprise." I heard my voice slur and I realized that whatever they'd given me before was most certainly kicking in.

"We'll inform your captain Lieutenant. Rest easy now, you're safe." I felt something warm press against my check and then I knew nothing, and what a blessing that was.


	8. World of the Living

"Welcome back to the world of the living."

Air rushed into my lungs and with a painful jerk of awareness, I found myself staring into the placid face of Q. When I looked around I noticed that I was in a hospital room. I saw Kirk and Mac standing by my bed but they weren't moving. In fact no one was moving. It appeared that Q had frozen my reality just so he could take some time out for me.

Memories of the torture I'd endured, the torture Christine had most likely endured, all came rushing back to me. I glanced down at my hands, marveling at the ability of the doctors in this time period to repair such damage. My fingernails were back in tact, my stomach no longer gaping in sections, and from what I could tell my head was also put back together. Everything felt stiff, tight, sore, and tender. Despite the fact that I was alive and relatively well, I still wanted to throttle Q.

I whirled on him, my anger billowing out from me in rivers. "Where the hell were you? I could've been killed! What would you have told Caiden? 'I'm sorry Caiden but it appears that I let Mommy die!'" I would've lunged for the fiend's throat had it not been for the fact that he promptly disappeared then reappeared further away.

"Now, now Brenna, you were perfectly safe the entire time. I would've rushed in to your rescue if the cavalry hadn't had gotten there in time. And I must say they certainly know how to live up to the 'nick of time' phrase don't they?" He smiled as he sat down on one of the hospital chairs, crossing his legs and looking nonchalant.

"Perfectly safe? I was tortured you bastard! Christine was tortured! I haven't felt that much pain since I had Caiden!" I tried to get out of the bed but suddenly I felt Q's hands on my shoulders holding me back; I secretly wished I had the ability to move as fast as he. "You had no right to risk my life like that!"

Q clicked his tongue at me as he quite forcefully pushed me back down onto the bed and firmly tucked the sheets back around my body. "I can do whatever I want to do Brenna, you know that. I can assure you that I would, and will, never allow any harm to come to Caiden and, should your demise come about, he will be taken care of."

"That's it isn't it?" I sat up against his hands before seizing his wrists. "You want me to die on my 'vacation' so you can have Caiden all to yourself!"

Q sighed, "Now Brenna what would I want a human child for?"

"I don't know Q, what do you want a human child for?"

Q stared back at my scowl before he sighed, pushing me a bit more gently back into the bed.

"Brenna, what happened to you was not my idea, nor did I have any hand at causing it to happen. While I did not send your rescuers I would have done something if the situation had escalated any further."

His words were comforting, to a degree, but I also knew that he was a master with words. He could be lying through his teeth to me, and at the moment I was willing to let him do it. I was too tired, and too relived to be alive.

"Can I see Caiden?"

Q glanced down at me before answering, "Do you really want him to see you like this? Perhaps it would be best to wait until you aren't hooked up to monitors whilst dressed in a hospital gown. And you know what's funny." He started to back away from my bed.

"What?" I watched him move.

"Those gowns still don't have backsides to them." He gave me a wink before snapping his fingers and disappearing.

I didn't have time to growl in frustration before I felt myself fall back onto the bed, and back into the current reality. I always hated how quickly the realities could switch; it often led me into awkward situations.

"Lieutenant."

I blinked the world back into focus and looked up at Kirk and Mac. I gave them a slight smile before trying to sit up, noticing that in this reality I didn't have the energy to move around like I had been doing with Q.

"Take it easy Brenna." Mac reached out and laid a hand on my shoulder to still my movements. "Just lie still."

I nodded, "Can I have some water?" My throat still felt like hell.

Kirk helped me drink a few sips before I settled back against the pillows. I stared at them in silence, waiting for one of them to start explaining. When neither of them spoke I sighed.

"What happened?" I managed to croak out. "Where's Christine?"

"You were kidnapped three days ago and held as hostages. The group that held you were terrorists affiliated with Terra Prime; they were seeking to bring about a weakening in the power of Starfleet." Kirk quickly explained. "We still aren't quite sure how the authorities managed to find you or the others but the terrorists were all found dead in an abandoned warehouse. They'd been tortured before executed."

I remembered Agent Turner and nodded. Perhaps someday I would remember just who and what the hell Section 31 was but not right now.

"I'm sorry." I sighed.

Mac spoke up then, "No, I'm sorry Brenna. If we hadn't been separated the other night then none of this would've happened."

I heard the guilt in his voice and I knew that if I didn't bounce back soon he would continue to kick himself around in guilt. He didn't deserve that.

"When can I get out of here and back to duty?" I again tried to sit up but again was held back by Mac's hand.

Kirk frowned, "You aren't going anywhere anytime soon. A replacement has been stationed onboard the Enterprise. We will be leaving dock in the morning. The doctor's say that while your body is healing perfectly fine they don't think you will be emotionally fit for duty until after you've seen a counselor. The Vulcans have been waiting long enough, or so the higher ups have been telling me, so we have been ordered to proceed with your replacement."

I barely kept myself from cursing. How in the hell was I supposed to get back onboard? There was no way that I was going to sit in this bed while Kirk and Mac warped off into space without me. I had no one and nothing on this planet. It was no longer my home. The closest thing to home that I had was with these strange yet familiar men onboard the Enterprise.

"I heartily disagree with them." I growled. "Let me come back Jim." I saw Mac cock his head to the side at my familiarity with Kirk. "I'm fine. If anything, getting back to routine will be more beneficial to me than sitting here twiddling my thumbs while these quacks drive me bonkers."

Kirk looked over at Mac, who only frowned and shook his head in response.

"Mac please! I know you feel like you're responsible for this whole episode but you're not. There were other women there, and you didn't have that many dates the other night. Christine and I are both fine," I glanced at Kirk to ensure my assumption was correct, when he nodded I reached out and grabbed Mac's wrist. "Please Mac, tell these people to let me come back. I have no one here."

Kirk spoke up, "What about your son? Don't you think you should spend time with him, especially after this?"

I nibbled on my lower lip, debating what to say in response to that. While I continued to ponder the best response Mac turned and spoke with one of the doctor's nearby. I was left with Kirk who continued to frown down at me.

"I know you may think I'm a horrible mother Kirk, but I don't want Caiden to know about this. He doesn't need to worry about me or imagine what happened to me. I would prefer him to just think about me onboard a Starship, warping off into adventure. Surely you can understand that?"

Kirk continued to frown down at me before he too turned and spoke with both Mac and the head doctor. I crossed my fingers. After what seemed like hours, but was in fact only minutes, later Kirk and Mac turned back to me.

"Well?" I knew I sounded pathetically hopeful.

"While it is against my better judgment to even allow you out of here," Mac spoke first, "I informed the doctor that as your physician I would be medically responsible for you if he cleared you for duty again."

I barely kept myself from smiling before I turned to Kirk. "And you say…" I waved a hand in the air to prompt his response.

"I also don't feel very comfortable with this but if you feel that you would heal better aboard the Enterprise then I will not order you to say here."

I squealed, yes squealed, with delight and threw caution to the wind. Well actually I threw my arms around both Kirk and Mac and squeezed the hell out of them. I figured that as long as I stayed busy and distracted I wouldn't think about THAT man and the pain I'd gone through. As long as I was with Kirk, Mac, and the others on the Enterprise I would stay safe—well as safe as one could be with them.

"Um Brenna?" Kirk's breath tickled my left ear.

"Yeah?" I asked as I continued to hug them.

"Did you know these gowns don't have backs to them?"

I squealed again as I dropped my arms and pushed both men away. They were laughing as they left me to get dressed. Damn Q and damn whoever made hospital gowns. You'd think after so many centuries they'd make backs to them.


	9. A case of the Spocks

It took some time, and effort, but by early morning—and I mean like ungodly early—I was safely settled back onboard the Enterprise. Of course I didn't sleep well and after a restless night of sleep I was groggy and not exactly looking forward to possibly having to distract Spock from meeting Spock.

Kirk had tried to tell me to forget coming to "greet" the Vulcans but I'd insisted on returning to full duty—and by george I was going to do it! I knew that despite my bravado, if left alone for too long without something to do I'd more than likely remember not only my latest near death encounter but also the more than a few before. When they piled up like they had a tendency to do it could get overwhelming.

"So what's the plan if HE shows up again?" I asked through clenched teeth while my lips were pasted in a soft smile of greeting. "Do you go or do I go? I forgot."

Kirk sighed, "That's because you were too busy staring at my lips." He nodded to another group of Vulcans as they appeared on the transporter pad.

"You had whip cream on them. Forgive me for noticing a whip cream mustache on my commanding officer." I nodded in greeting as well. "I figured you'd appreciate someone telling you about it before you made a fool of yourself in front of Vulcans."

Kirk chuckled under his breath as the Vulcans were led out of the room by a number of representatives of the crew. Each group of eight to ten Vulcans was assigned at least four crew members to be their liaisons during the week long voyage. So far they had beamed about seven groups and had eight more to go. Needless to say the ship was going to teeming with Vulcans for the next week.

"So?"

Kirk turned to face me as the engineers worked on the next group of Vulcans to beam up, "So what?"

"Who's going to distract the hobgoblin if HE shows up?" I placed a hand on my hip, amazed at how quickly Kirk could forget a line of conversation.

"Oh." He tipped his head to the side. "I think he'd find it a bit obvious if I suddenly ran after him pestering him with questions and such to divert his attention. But with you being the ship's assistant counselor perhaps you could say you noticed an alteration in his behavior after receiving news of our current mission. That might work."

It was the truth though. Spock had been acting a bit odd ever since we were given our orders, even to Uhura. He was irritable, and yes Vulcans get damn irritable from time to time. Mac said that it was "his time of the month" or something along those lines and Spock nearly blew a fuse, at least I could tell he nearly did. He had a slight eye twitch, his ears darkened a bit in color, and his breathing rate hitched ever so slightly. For a Vulcan that's nearly blowing a fuse.

"Yeah it probably would. Are you going to pay for damages if he beats the shit out of me in the process?"

Kirk laughed, "I don't think he'd hit a woman."

"That's what you think. You've never seen what I've had to do while improvising."

The engineers announced the arrival of more Vulcans and we turned to greet the new batch. Before the figures had even finished transporting I knew in my gut that HE was standing among them. I'd recognize that figure anywhere. Now it's difficult to describe what it feels like to have an old friend suddenly appear and look through me no recognition in his eyes. If anything the older Spock, I think Kirk referred to him as Spock Prime (it's going to be difficult not to say 'Autobots move out' around him) looked right over me and through me. When he stepped off the platform he moved towards Kirk while the others in his group moved off towards the exit with their liaisons.

"It is agreeable to see you again old friend." Spock gave Kirk the traditional Vulcan salute and Kirk nodded in return, attempting to give it back but failing with an amused smile.

"Same to you…" Kirk waved a hand in the air, an obvious grasp at what Spock Prime would be calling himself.

"Savar."

"Same to you, Savar." Kirk turned to face me, directing Spock Prime's attention to me. "May I introduce our ship's assistant counselor, Lieutenant Brenna Jones?"

This was it, the cruncher. Would he recognize the name, my face, my personality?

"Lieutenant Jones." Spock nodded his head to me and I returned the gesture. He tipped his head to the side and I could tell something had clicked and he was trying to figure out just what that something was. "Have we perhaps crossed paths before?"

Kirk was suddenly looking at me funny and I knew I'd better come up with something fast.

"You may recognize the name from history books. I was named after a distant relative who made significant discoveries in the scientific field." Thank you Q for teaching me the finer arts of thinking on my feet!

Spock Prime didn't look completely convinced; neither did Kirk; neither made further comments. Spock Prime left with the last of his group, after Kirk offered to meet up for a game of chess later. Once he was gone I almost gave into the temptation to audibly sigh.

"So," Kirk's voice near my ear made me tense, "how come a man from the future of an alternate reality think he knows you?"

I shrugged, "Like I said the history-"

"Stow it Jones, I know a lie when I hear one."

"Told you I'm not good at improv." I glared at Kirk, "You should also know when someone doesn't want to talk about something."

He was silent a moment while the engineers set to work with the next group of Vulcans. When he spoke I nearly cursed under my breath at his words. "You will inform me of any information that you have not given me regarding why HE thinks he knows you at the earliest available moment."

"Yes sir."

Spock came in just then, "Captain I believe there is something I need to discuss with you."

Kirk and I exchanged a nervous look before I stepped forward, "Spock I've been meaning to talk to you recently."

"May it wait until after I've talked to Captain Kirk?" He looked past me to Kirk who was doing his best to look nonchalant.

"Let Jones talk to you and come find me later, I still have more groups to greet." Kirk gave a look that said 'distract the hell outta him' and I could only nod before I turned back to Spock.

"But sir I believe you really must know-"

"Spock when were you going to tell me that you were in the first throes of pon farr?" It was the first thing I could think of to distract him. When he turned an icy cold, and dare I say confused, gaze on me I suddenly wished I'd chosen something else to distract him with.

"While I do know what you are referring to, Lieutenant, I am not in any way incapacitated by that condition. May I inquire as to how do you pertain knowledge of such matters?" He faced me more fully.

I figured honesty was best for the moment, "Because I've encountered a Vulcan in the throes of it before."

"What?" Spock and Kirk spoke at the same time. Spock in incredulity and Kirk in confusion, but he knew a sexual topic whenever he heard one…just like he knew a lie when he heard one. Oh dear…I just dug a hole didn't I?

I had just told Kirk I wasn't good at improv and here I am wringing my hands together as I glanced at the engineering crew operating the transporter system, "Perhaps we should discuss this in my office where there is less likelihood of us being overheard."

Kirk nodded, though the look in his eyes told me that I'd be telling him whatever the hell "pon farr" was and how I managed to get involved with a Vulcan in the first place. Spock looked ready to argue but Kirk waved at him just as another group of Vulcans appeared on the transporter pad. He slowly nodded and moved aside for me to walk past him.

All the way to my quarters I tried to come up with as many different lies to distract him because I really REALLY didn't want to tell this Spock about my time with Tovak. I mean, even though it had ended up being Christine who had been intimate with him, it was still very private and awkward to discuss—let alone trying to explain that without explaining an alternate reality was just impossible.

"Miss Jones." I suddenly stopped in my tracks and Spock very nearly walked into my back.

Shit! Spock Prime stood right in front of me, his hands clasped in front of his body, his face serene. I heard the Spock behind me breathe a bit differently and I inwardly cursed a few more times. Why did this always have to happen to me? Why why why why why why why why why-

"Miss Jones is there a problem?" Spock Prime stood closer, his eyes conveying his concern.

I suddenly realized that I was close to hyperventilating; I purposefully slowed my breathing and nodded slowly. The Spock beside me moved to stand a bit closer to the older Spock. They eyed each other, a very creepy sight mind you, before both looked back at me. One with subtle concern, just guess which one that is, and one with a face devoid of expression, bet you can't guess which one that is!

"No problem." My voice was a bit higher than usual. "Just thought I saw a ghost."

Spock Prime's lips twisted into what could be conveyed as a Vulcan smile, "When I first saw you I dare say I had the same reaction."

My stomach plummeted to the floor.

"What is he talking about Lieutenant?" Spock asked looking between my now white face and Spock Prime. "Do you mean to tell me that you know her?" He asked his older counterpart.

"Indeed I do, though I must say I am surprised to find her here, situated amongst your crew."

Spock turned to look at me, "How do you know this man?"

"Uh…" How was I supposed to explain an accidental electrocution transporting me into a television series where I managed to screw with the minds of a few key characters, only before I became their friends, and the love object of at least one? Really…how did one summarize my previous Enterprise experience?

"Perhaps we'd best adjourn to your office." Spock Prime rescued me by gesturing directly behind himself to my office.

I nodded and nearly ran them both over in my eagerness to hide in my office. But as luck would have it my office was occupied with Sulu and Chekov. What now?

"May I help you gentlemen?" I did my best to keep the nervousness from my voice as I walked in, hoping that my face wasn't as flushed as it felt to be. "If this is about the play, I haven't found a new one yet and I'll let you know when I do."

"Oh it isn't about the play." Sulu nudged Chekov. The Spocks hovered near the door waiting. Chekov looked at the floor, the ceiling, the walls, everywhere except me. Sulu nudged him more firmly.

"Ensign Chekov is there something you wish to ask me?" I got the picture, Sulu was the wingman.

Chekov blushed when I said his name, "I vas vondering if you could help me in a delicate matter." He turned and saw the Spocks and turned ash white—I could empathize with his reaction.

"If you like you can check back in here tomorrow around the same time." I offered gently, doing my best to keep from startling the kid. "As you can see I have an important meeting now."

Chekov nodded stiffly and turned to basically march out the room. Sulu hovered behind.

"It's girl issues." He whispered to me before disappearing after his friend.

At least that helped me smile despite the Spocks staring at me with equally blank stares. Talk about creepy! They both came in and started to sit down; then Mac appeared in the doorway. I mentally cursed. Did I have a telepathic beacon asking people to come bother me at the moment or something?

"Hey Brenna do you think you could drop by this evening?" Though his words could have innuendo in them I could see from his eyes that they didn't. "I would like to-" He stopped when he saw the Spocks.

I nodded, "Of course Mac. I'll come see you once I'm done here."

Mac looked between the two Spocks, thankfully not seeing the resemblance and chuckled. "Who did you piss off to get sidled with two of them?" He shot me a wink before disappearing again.

Thankfully no one else popped up and the door slid shut with a hiss. I honestly didn't know how to begin so the room fell into an awkward silence.

"Um…" I cleared my throat, looking imploringly at Spock Prime, "Don't you think Kirk should be here to hear this?"

Spock the younger was clearly surprised that I spoke to his older self in such familiar terms but he didn't say anything, yet.

"That would be wise." Spock Prime nodded.

I pulled out my communicator and took a deep breath before opening it, "Lieutenant Jones to Captain Kirk."

"Kirk here."

"Captain when you have a chance would you please come to my office." I stared between to the two Spocks across from me. "It seems we have a little ruffle in our blanket."

Both Spocks raised an eyebrow at my words.

"A what in our what?" I can tell Kirk doesn't do subtle very well.

"They met."

"Shit."

"And there's more pertaining to knowledge of certain persons." I was trying to be subtle but then again I'm not very good at it either.

There was a pause, "I'll be there in five minutes."

As I set the communicator to the side I gave both Spocks a smile, "Care to engage in pointless chit chat while we wait?"

Spock Prime's eyes twinkled in a smile while Spock the younger merely conveyed an air of confusion and slight irritation. Oh what fun…


	10. A Fibbed Confession

Kirk thankfully arrived three minutes after my initial panic—again what in the hell do you talk about with the same man from different realities…the weather? I didn't know if I was happy or sad that he was there; now that he was there I'd have to explain; now that he was there I didn't have to entertain the Spocks.

"So what's this all about?" He asked as he sat on the edge of my desk, his back to me but his eyes moving between the Spocks and me. "How did they manage to meet? And how does he know you?" He first gestured between the two Spocks and then between me and Spock Prime.

Spock spoke first, "I encountered my future self a short time before the Enterprise left on drills."

"And you were going to tell me when?" Kirk sounded more than a little annoyed.

"If you remember captain I was attempting to tell you in the transporter room when Lieutenant Jones decided it was an appropriate time to discuss pon far." Spock looked annoyed while Spock Prime looked amused, both in their own subtle Vulcan way.

"You remember that." Spock Prime spoke up and I blushed as I nodded. Spock the younger looked between Spock Prime and myself but remained stoically silent, more than likely drawing the wrong conclusion; I wasn't about to correct him.

"What is pon farr anyway?" Kirk asked.

I answered, "It's a process that every Vulcan male experiences every seven years. It is technically a blood fever that takes control of them that drives them to mate with their bondmates or die. It is a very painful experience as, during pon farr, Vulcan's can lose control of their emotions and lose the ability to meditate if they do not act on the pon farr early enough. It is far from a joking matter. And I apologize to both of you for even mentioning it but I was desperate earlier and it just sort of slipped out."

With my explanation slash confession, at least Spock the younger looked less annoyed with me while Spock Prime nodded.

Kirk still looked confused but then he pressed on, "Now, how does this Spock," he pointed to Spock Prime, "know you?"

"Um…" I started to grasp at straws and again stared at Spock Prime for help.

Spock Prime finally spoke up, "I had the opportunity to meet Miss Jones a number of years ago, in my reality. She was assigned to our ship as an assistant to Doctor McCoy but suddenly disappeared after being with us only a year. We never figured out how she disappeared or how, unexplainably, our memories of her were erased."

"Then how do you know all this?" I was the one who asked this. Q had said that he only allowed memories of my experiences through dreams.

Spock Prime clasped his hands together, "When I discovered that many crew members were having analogous dreams of a comparable person I compiled a list of all the dreams and weighed them against each other until I soon discovered that they were not mere dreams but memories. The entire crew was suffering from a type of mental block that allowed memories of your time aboard our ship only to manifest themselves in the form of dreams. It took some time to convince Captain Kirk that they were in fact memories." his face grew shadowed and I grimaced.

Silence fell inside the room while Spock the younger and Kirk processed all they heard and while I did my best not to cry. Bless and curse Q for allowing the others to remember me. It hurt knowing that some had suffered from my sudden disappearance, and it hurt knowing that they had always wondered if I would come back and where I had gone to.

What hurt the most was Jim; having him remembering me but not wanting to admit it because then it'd hurt even more. I knew how he'd coped with my absence; by throwing himself into his work, by romancing and tossing aside women, by putting himself in danger just for an adrenaline rush, until ultimately he died a hero; a hero that was alone, but a hero none-the-less.

"So, what exactly does this mean now that she's sitting here?" Kirk spoke up, staring at me with curiosity. He seemed surprisingly calm considering all the facts that'd been thrown out thus far.

I squirmed in my seat. Should I tell them about Q? Would he come and take me away if I did? Or would he just wait to see how things turned out with their new knowledge of his existence? I hated all this not knowing! I hated it with a passion! I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

"It means that I encountered a being that had the power to transport me through time and space according to his own whims." I decided to tell the truth, at least a bit of it. "What Spock Prime may not remember is that prior to my disappearance, the Enterprise became quarantined due to an unknown plague that took out more than half of its crew. I ended up being the only one unaffected by the plague because of antibodies that were in my blood but none of the others. I was working and failing at finding a cure when this being, who likes to be called Q, showed up." I sighed and leaned back in my chair, my regret obvious on my face, "He offered to cure the crew if I accompanied him. I felt I had no choice. My shipmates were dying. My friends were dying. I had no training in a lab and so would not likely find the cure before everyone died. So I accepted his offer and that was that."

Spock spoke up after a moment of pause, "Why would this Q creature ask you to travel with him?"

This was it. Did I tell them the whole truth or just fib a bit? I'm sure if I told them the whole truth there would be more trouble, much to Q's liking, but if I fibbed a bit it'd be easier and still hard at the same time. I went with the fibbing.

"I can only guess that it is because of my unique anti-bodies. Came to find out later that it had been he who had put all the crew through tests to see who would come out on top and I appeared more often than any of the others." I shrugged. "I honestly don't know why he chose me if it wasn't for that."

"So you mean to tell me that you were born in another reality and lived in another reality but managed to be transported to this one, via a strange alien creature named Q, and passed through Star Fleet without proper identification or files?" Kirk sounded amazed more than pissed, thankfully.

I sighed, "I'm not totally unaccustomed to forging documents. I have some shady characters in my extended family and they taught me well." Yes, Q has taught me very well how to lie smoothly and efficiently, though I'm not always good at it. "I was able to falsify my documents, graduate from Star Fleet again, and believe me suffering through some of those classes twice is almost enough to make anyone lose it, and was assigned to a few ships before this one."

There was silence. I looked at Spock Prime and saw that just as I had held back, he had as well. He conveyed as much with his eyes and I knew that he and I would have a nice long chat soon after this was over. I was proud of myself for coming up with such an elaborate lie so quickly and also a little leery of how easily it came to me. Maybe I was more Cardassian that I thought. Scary thought indeed.

"Oh bother." Kirk was rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Have I mentioned lately how much I hate time travel and alternate realities?"

I chuckled and smiled, "You and me both."

After a moment's silence Spock spoke up, "What do you propose we do with her captain?" Spock directed his gaze to Kirk, ignoring me as if I were a bug and not a person—what a twit.

Kirk rubbed his chin, "What do you think we should do with her?" His eyes were on Spock Prime and I saw Spock the younger's nose flare slightly; I knew he didn't like being passed over one bit—though it served him right for treating me like that earlier.

"Perhaps," Spock Prime spoke slowly, his aged voice soothing my nerves, "you should let her continue as the assistant counselor. She has graduated from the academy, twice, therefore she is qualified in her duties." His eyes twinkled and I had to look away to keep from snorting. "As to her position as being an outsider in this reality, well you will have to come to you own conclusion. I too am an outsider in this reality."

Spock the younger immediately piped up, "I believe we should reassign her back to Star Fleet headquarters where she will be away from active missions."

"She may not be from this reality," Spock Prime admonished his younger self, "but she is still a member of Starfleet. She may have knowledge of another reality but she has managed to capably operate within this one thus far."

Kirk finally spoke up then. "We aren't due back at headquarters for another few months. We have a current mission to complete now." Kirk's voice was stern. "In that time span we'll figure out what to do."

"Sounds like a plan to me." I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my desk. "You have my promise that I will continue to conduct myself in my duties as a proper Starfleet officer," I noticed Spock the younger's nose flare again at this, "and will do my best to keep to myself, thus preventing any possibilities of accidentally letting it slip that I'm not from around these parts."

"That should be acceptable." Spock spoke as he stiffly stood.

Kirk shook his head and stood as well. Both men made for the door, only Spock Prime remained in his chair.

"Aren't you coming Ambassador?" Kirk inquired from the now open door.

Spock Prime shook his head, "I will remain longer."

Spock the younger didn't look too happy about that but he left without another word. Kirk nodded to me, again not letting me see what his true emotions were, before leaving as well. I got the distinct impression that he'd be back soon enough. Once both were gone I dropped my head onto my desk, not ashamed to have Spock Prime see my real emotions.

"I gather from your current actions that you held back information." He spoke after a moment's silence. "I understand that as I did the same. I do not think these people would accept the truth as readily and easily as we did, especially with the most recent events in mind."

I nodded my head though I didn't look up just yet. I felt the tears I held back earlier burn behind my eyelids. Bitter disappoint and a touch of fear danced in my brain while I sat there, my head cradled in my arms, my friend watching me across the desk. When I couldn't hold it any longer a heavy sob escaped my lips, my whole body shuddering from it. I didn't cry loudly, and I didn't even moan, I merely let the tears leak out while I breathed raggedly.

I'd thus far managed to hold off the storm but it had taken its toll. The fear of losing everything came back to haunt me. The presence of Spock both comforted and cursed me. I didn't know if I could bear it. I don't know how long I sat there crying but after a moment I felt Spock's hand on my head and I looked up, tear stained face and all. He held out a tissue and I gladly wiped away the snot and tears. He had come around the desk to stand beside my chair. He looked like he wanted to say something but hadn't quite figured out how.

"What is it Spock?" I blew my nose then blushed when I saw his eyebrow rise at the noise. "You look like you want to say something."

"I do want to share something with you but I wonder if it would aid or hinder you at this time."

"What's it about?"

"Jim."

I felt another rush of tears come to my eyes but I managed to hold them back, "What about him? Don't worry about hindering or aiding, just tell me."

"He expressed his regret to me on at least one occasion that he hadn't been able to convince you of his sincerity in time." Spock folded his hands in front of his body. "For some time after your disappearance, he was bitter about the whole encounter and often refused to discuss it while Dr. McCoy and I had no problem discussing you; Dr. McCoy found great joy in remembering you in fact." I again swallowed the tears at his words. "However it wasn't until right before Jim left on his last mission that he finally told me that despite the pain of losing you he felt that he had been privileged to have known you for the amount of time he did."

I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out. Images of my time with Kirk flashed in my mind. I really, REALLY, missed those men. Bones, Jim, Scotty, Uhura, even womanizing Sulu and cute Chekov. I missed them all. My heart was literally breaking all over again and there was no one there to help me gather the pieces to keep going again. I looked up at Spock through tear blurry eyes.

"I know you may not be comfortable with this," my voice wobbled, "but I was wondering…would you let me hug you?" I saw him stiffen slightly. "Please? My heart's breaking right now and while I'll manage to gather myself together again in a bit, for the moment…I just need…I need…"

Spock nodded, cutting off any other words. Without further adieu I threw myself into his arms and finally let out the torrent of tears I'd been holding back. I held onto him as if he too might disappear on me; and he would, soon enough. By the end of the week he'd be gone from my life again and I'd be left with the Spock who basically hated my guts. Q was such bastard for doing this to me.

I felt Spock wrap his arms around me, albeit a bit awkwardly, and then one of his hands came up and cupped the back of my head. I felt comforted, protected, safe, and at home. Yes, later on I would be embarrassed that I made Spock hug me. Yes, later on I would realize that I was quite selfish for making him do something so alien to his own culture and personality. But at this moment in time it was exactly what I needed to keep from totally falling apart at the seams.

I sniffed, "Spock there's something else."

He pulled back, more comfortable once I extracted myself from his arms. He handed me another tissue then clasped his hands in front of his body.

"I have a son."

Spock's eyebrow rose and I saw his eye twitch. Then I heard something to my right and turned to find Spock the younger standing there, looking close enough to shocked as a Vulcan could get. Given what he heard earlier, what he just saw, and more than likely what he just heard, oh bother! I felt my face flush bright red but before I could say or do anything I gasped in shock and then it all went black.


	11. Forced Bonding

Passing out in the surprised arms of Spock Prime but waking up naked in a cave should have been more alarming. However, after seven years of aimlessly—well for me aimlessly—wandering around with Q as my taskmaster/companion, my current circumstances were not nearly as disturbing as perhaps they should've been. No, the dark, coolness of the cave did not bother me, nor did my nude state; it was the presence of an equally nude Spock unconscious at my side that set me off kilter.

When I moved my body to crawl closer to Spock I noticed that it moved a bit more sluggishly than was normal. In fact, the whole environment felt heavier than was normal. It felt almost as if we were in a dream—though there was no way I could dream up something like this on my own; at least not without alcohol influencing it.

"Hey." I was actually thankful for the shadows of the cave as I began the process of waking Spock; I already thought he had a hot body and heavens knew what he'd think of my body once he saw it. "First officer." I'd try rank first; see if his pointed ears responded best to "by the book." When nothing happened, I began to physically shake him as I spoke, "Spock, hey, pointy eared hobgoblin, yo, Spock, wake the freak up!" On the last bit I smacked my hand across his face, a little desperate to make sure he was still alive.

"You may cease your assault, Lieutenant, I am conscious." He grabbed my wrist before I could smack him again.

Even in the darkness I could see his piercing gaze. I couldn't remember if Vulcans would see well in the dark but I was sure that if he could, Spock would see me blush, not only from our nude state but also from the proximity we were in. I could definitely feel the heat rolling off his body in waves, making the previous dankness of the cave a little more bearable.

"Are you well Lieutenant?"

I nodded, "Aside from feeling sluggish and weighed down by the environment, I'm fine."

"Are there any signs of the others?" Spock asked as he sat up slowly, his hand going to his head for a moment.

"I only just now woke up. You're the only one that was close enough to know for sure was around." I scooted a little further away, mindful of the little pebbles and bits of dirt on the floor—really don't want to know what crevices this grime is going to end up in. "Hey! Is anyone else in here? Yoohoo!"

"Lieutenant Jones." Spock's voice was firm and suddenly in my ear. He'd scooted right after me, apparently he didn't feel the need to have space between us—darn him. "I am quite certain that if they had not responded to how you awakened me then perhaps we are the only ones here. However, I suggest that it would be more efficient if we were to stand and physically explore our surroundings. Not only will we ascertain whether or not the others are here but we will also discover more about our current location and circumstances."

I blushed. I hated it when he was right. It wasn't exactly arrogance that fueled his stoic nature, but sometimes the way he interacted with others made me think that he had a "complex" towards humans. Most Vulcans in the other reality did; it would make sense that those in this reality would maintain that complex, but with most recent events it would also make sense that they'd be a bit more humble as well.

"Well, fearless leader," stress brings out my sarcasm, "lead on."

Spock paused in his movements to rise, "Do I sense animosity in your tone of voice Lieutenant?"

"No, sir, you sense sarcasm and fatigue at always ending up in awkward and relatively alarming situations." I too rose and dusted off my body, trying to ignore the sounds and movements of Spock as he did so as well. "I just got through with one near death situation; I was all ready for mundane routine."

"If that is what you prefer, Lieutenant Jones, then perhaps you should resign from the fleet and raise your son with his father on the new colony. With the new circumstances, that would be best for both his father and the son. There are not many of our race left."

I stopped and glared over at Spock as he started to carefully move away. The jerk was operating off the notion that Spock Prime was the father of my son; though I suppose I couldn't blame him given the last thing he'd seen and heard before we'd ended up here. But still that was fairly presumptuous of a Vulcan. I sighed and shook my head. How often I forgot that he was half human and as such could be just as much as a gossiping prick as the rest of us.

We moved around the cave for some time, carefully picking our way over boulders and crevices, until we found ourselves back to the beginning. There were no exits from the cavernous room and no sign of any other lifeforms, good or bad ones. By now I figured this wasn't Q's doing; he was too egotistical not to have appeared already to take credit. No our current, worsening, circumstances were due to some other creature or malfunction.

"Lieutenant Jones."

Spock's voice cut through my musings and I turned to look at him. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness to such a degree that I could make out almost every detail on Spock's body—not that I was paying attention of course. I had since gotten over the fact that he could do the same with me. Not much I could do other than what I currently was; huddling in as small a ball as possible to keep warm.

"Yes?" I barely kept my teeth from chattering in my reply.

The cave hadn't exactly gotten colder but my body had become more aware of the damp chill and my adrenaline had also lessened, leaving me a shivering mass of naked flesh, unwilling to take orders or put up with Spock's attitude, if he got one. The nagging feeling that something was off, more than just the obvious, was still keen. It truly felt like we were in a dream of sorts, but I couldn't pinpoint what exactly was tipping me off to that feeling. Hence why I had yet to mention it to Spock.

"While I understand that it will be less than ideal for both yourself and I, I believe it will be best if you come closer and we share warmth at this time. Neither of us knows when we'll be rescued and we must keep in optimum condition."

Seriously?! No way! Hell no! What fangirl had gotten hold of my fate and was playing hopscotch with it? Was I seriously going to have to share body warmth with Spock in a dark cave, all alone, without hope of being rescued any time soon? If Q had decided to hand my fate strings to some fan did they not realize how uncomfortable a cave floor was on a naked bum? Or how the chill of the cave had wrapped its fingers around my bones and into my lungs, making sensuality the last thing on my mind?

"Lieutenant?" Spock's voice had drawn nearer and I realized that he'd taken it upon himself to move closer to me.

I sighed, "I understand the necessity Spock." I figured if we were truly about to snuggle naked in a cave then first name basis was acceptable. "I'm just mentally preparing myself for it."

"Indeed." Did I detect a hint of amusement in his voice as it again came closer until I not only felt his breath on my neck but also his body warmth near my back. "You are not the only one. I believe Doctor McCoy would suggest that you close your eyes and think of your 'happy place' at this time."

I did chuckle, though it almost turned into a squeak when suddenly his legs were on either side of mine, near tangling in them as he pressed them closer, and I was pulled back against his chest, his arms wrapping around my body until they rested over my own on my chest. I had to take a deep, yes shuddering, breath before I could speak again, trying to ignore the fact that I was now pressed against ALL of him.

"Do my ears deceive me, Spock, or did you just make a slightly amusing comment?"

Spock's chest rumbled against my back as he spoke, "I did nothing other than point out what the doctor would say."

I smiled, marveling at how quickly my body was relaxing into his embrace—well it wasn't an embrace but it mimicked one fairly well. Spock apparently didn't realize that he had made an amusing comment, nor did he realize that he'd just earned a few brownie points in the last minute or so. He was still in the negative in my book, he was a jerk after all, but at least I had a glimpse of a softer, though still pragmatic, side of him.

My stomach growled and I knew he could not only feel it but also heard it. I blushed, feeling more awkward about a natural function of my body than about my nudity.

"There is no reason to feel ashamed of your hunger Lieutenant. It has been some time since either of us had a meal."

I nodded then froze. "Spock?"

"Yes?" His breath was against my neck as I felt him pull his face closer.

"You're a touch telepath aren't you?"

There was silence in response to my question. I didn't know how much time passed before I suddenly felt an almost tickle of awareness in my mind again—much like when I'd communicated with Spock when he'd been a dog.

"I find your knowledge of Vulcan ways to be most intriguing and more excessive than the average human, Lieutenant." He spoke as if he hadn't just tickled my brain with his own.

I barely kept myself from snorting, and definitely fought against letting images of episodes of the Star Trek television series flash through my brain. It definitely wouldn't be good to have Spock face an existential crisis along with the loss of his planet and mother. That was recipe for crazy Spock.

"Like I said before, I have had previous experiences with a number of Vulcans in the other timeline. Through them I've learned a lot."

I felt Spock's muscles tense slightly as he moved suddenly, bringing me with him as he scooted backwards until he rested against the cavern wall, me still in my arms/legs. I won't lie; being held by him was soothing and quite nice, but still sensuality was far from my mind. Survival, both physically and mentally, were at the forefront of my mind—though I'm sure I'll relive this moment in dreams later.

"These other Vulcans," Spock spoke, my brain beginning to 'itch' again, "was my counterpart one of them?"

I knew without asking that he was curious if my son was indeed Spock Prime's or another Vulcans. I concentrated on calm emotions, knowing that he'd feel them through our slight connection. I wasn't about to tell him all the particulars of Caiden's parentage but Spock did at least deserve—well maybe not deserve—to be reassured that my son was not a half breed like himself.

"I did form a very close bond with Spock Prime." The itch in my brain increased at my words but I quickly continued. "He was a confidante and friend to me through many tough times. We also ended up in awkward and unforeseen circumstances and had to rely on each other to get out of them. When I had to leave, I dearly missed him, and will continue to miss him once he leaves again." I had to pause to keep the melancholy at bay. When I began again I had an image of Tovak in my head and I smiled, "No the knowledge of pon farr and the like comes from a friend I made. It was accidental knowledge, mind you, and while I was not the one who lent the essential assistance, I did have a hand in aiding him."

The itch in my brain lessened until it was a mere vibration, almost comforting in a 'hey there's another presence in your brain' way. I felt drowsiness begin to creep up on me but fought against it; it definitely wouldn't be good to fall asleep. Not only would Spock be left alone, but falling asleep naked in his arms, in a nonsexual way, would be most awkward indeed.

"May I then deduce that your son is not half Vulcan?" Spock's voice was nearer than before, and had a hint of something in it that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

I nodded, "He is fully human," then I smiled; I couldn't not add in a jab to make him uncomfortable. "Though of course I'm not against having a half Vulcan child, should the opportunity arise."

"I am sure not all would share in your openness Lieutenant." It sounded like Spock was also getting sleepy."

"Brenna." I said on a sigh, the drowsiness getting harder and harder to fight.

"What was that?" His voice sounded further away though he was still wrapped around me.

I smiled, "If we're naked in each other's arms, Spock, I think it's okay to forego rank."

"Indeed," his arms tightened momentarily around me, "Brenna."

The blackness of sleep was too seductive to ignore anymore. I fell asleep with my name on his lips and the nagging sensation that this had all been an elaborate dream.


	12. Fallout and Requests

"I can assure you, Doctor, that I am not the father of her son."

As I overheard voices harshly being whispered, or somewhat whispered, near the end of my bio-bed, I blinked the world into focus. I was definitely no longer in the cave, nor was I naked—and I was thankful of that considering Mac, Spock Prime, and Kirk were all around my bed.

"Then what is Jim talking about." McCoy sounded ready to burst.

"What do you mean? I only told you what she told me and what I saw. Spock can back me up." Kirk was apparently there too, damn it.

I briefly wondered where Spock was until I saw a bleary eyed Spock step into view, "I only reported to Doctor McCoy what I saw and heard when he asked why Lieutenant Jones fainted."

"Again I can assure all of you that I am not the father of Lieutenant Jones' son. When she wakes, she can confirm this fact."

Well now was as good a time as any to alert them to my consciousness, "It's true." I sat up and found four pairs of eyes staring holes into my head. "He isn't the father of my son. What Spock witnessed was yet another innocent encounter that he misunderstood." I glared daggers at Spock the younger but he merely stared back at me. My brain itched for a moment but I was too distracted by the situation to pay it much mind.

"How are you feeling?" Mac was hovering near my head now, scanning me with his tricorder. "It's a good thing Savar was there to catch you otherwise you would've gotten a nasty blow to the head. Are you light-headed?" He frowned at the tricorder then at me. "Did you have any sudden flashbacks to your time on Earth? Are you dizzy, feeling nauseous?"

I sighed, "I think my blood sugar is a little low. I skipped breakfast since I woke up late." I did do that and I was hungry but I also knew I had fainted more out of necessity and fright than from low blood sugar—though had I really fainted or had my consciousness been transferred somewhere else momentarily. "I'm feeling a little better now but I'm sure I'll be perfectly fine once I eat something." I glanced between all the men and forced a soft smile. "Really I'm fine okay? Just let me go get something to eat."

"If that is the case then I will leave you." Spock Prime nodded to me. "May I meet with you to finish our discussion at a later time today?"

I nodded, "That sounds fine to me. I'll come find you when I'm free."

Spock Prime nodded then left, a very confused Kirk on his heels. Spock the younger hovered for a few moments longer. He looked like he had much to say but little knowledge on how to say it. Again my brain itched but again I pushed the sensation away like an annoying fly.

"I believe it is customary to apologize when a misunderstanding has been found between persons."

Mac looked down at me then turned away, a smirk on his face. I refrained from swatting him as I looked back to Spock.

"It is, and I accept your apology Spock. But please try to keep your opinions to yourself until you have full evidence in the future."

He nodded then left. I lay back down with a sigh while Mac chuckled.

"Sounds like you had a busy morning so far."

"You have no idea."

He chuckled again, "Well you want to tell me about it over lunch?"

"You won't believe what I have to tell you."

His eyes twinkled, "Try me."

We slowly, due to my still buzzing head, adjourned to the mess hall. He at least let me get some food in my stomach before he pushed for answers.

I took a deep breath, "Basically it all started with Kirk asking for help distracting Spock from meeting Sp-er Savar."

"Why would he want help with that? He seemed almost like a Vulcan I could enjoy being around. Very pleasant, and for a Vulcan that's saying something."

I tipped my head to the side, wondering if Kirk cared if I told Mac, then figuring 'what the hell' I told him about the whole Spock from the future versus Spock from now and of course Mac got a headache by the time I finished explaining that.

"And so how does all that lead up to Spock thinking this other Spock is the father of your son?" He paused then leaned closer. "Is he?"

"No!" I growled at him. "Now stop interrupting or I'll never get through this."

He shrugged as he leaned back, twirling his coffee mug slowly in front of him.

"Anyway, not really thinking things through, in order to distract Spock I mentioned pon farr, which by the way is a blood fever that Vulcan males get once every seven years and can lead to lots of violence and possible death if not handled correctly and please don't ask me to go into details, especially not over dinner okay?"

His eyes glazed over slightly as he caught up with me then he nodded, "Want to try putting together sentences that don't run into each other for an old man like me?"

"You're not old and shut up."

"Yes ma'am." He was smirking and I inwardly melted—how I loved that smirk.

"Anyway that did distract Spock but that also led him to believe that the Spock from the future and I had had a fling."

"Why? It isn't like you've met the guy before." He stopped then leaned forward again. "Wait, you guys seemed like you knew each other back in sickbay." Mac frowned. "Brenna, what are you not telling me?"

"Well I'd tell you if you'd stop interrupting me!" I swatted his arm this time. "What I'm trying to tell you is what I told them." And so in a hushed rush I explained, in as much detail as I could spare without further questions, what I'd told Kirk and Spock earlier. Of course, Mac's eyes glazed over again but he managed to keep up with me until the end, though he didn't look too convinced at first.

"So you mean to tell me you're from that other Spock's reality as well but that creature thing brought you over here?" I nodded as he frowned. "And he didn't tell you why? Is he still in contact with you?"

I squirmed, not really knowing how to answer. "He just wants me to amuse him and so sometimes I think he purposefully manipulates situations to make my life difficult. He has been in contact a few times, yes."

"Was he the one who caused you to be kidnapped?" His eyes held a fury in them that made my stomach tighten in response. It was most reassuring to know that he'd have such a reaction at the thought of me being threatened.

I shook my head, "He told me he had nothing to do with it and that if I hadn't have been rescued when I was that he would've done so himself."

Mac was silent for a bit, during which time I gulped down the last of my long-since-cold coffee. Then when I looked up Mac was staring holes into my head and I squirmed again. I knew he was about to ask something I wasn't going to want to answer.

"So whose kid is it?"

Damn! Just the question I didn't want to answer.

"Can I not answer that question please? It really isn't your business, actually, and I don't feel comfortable answering, especially not here."

He frowned, "I'll have to live with that then." He looked around at the near deserted mess hall then back to me. "But can I ask you something else."

"You're going to ask anyway." I smiled at his nonchalant shrug.

"Were you friends with me in the other reality?"

I grinned, "He was much older than you are now, actually everyone was, and he and I were quite close."

"Oh really?" He got that sexy glint in his eyes again and I rolled my eyes.

"Not THAT close. Like I said before, he was much older, and I was younger than I am now. He didn't see me in that way. Neither did Spock, just so you know."

Mac grimaced then, "But that Jim did?"

I grimaced as well and looked away. I didn't know what to say to that. I couldn't deny it because I didn't like lying so much, especially not to him.

"Don't worry about it Brenna. I'm just being nosey and I really should just mind my own business. You should've told me to back the hell off a while ago." I looked up at his smile and I melted inside all over again. "I would've."

"Well I did faint earlier so I think my spunk is still recharging at the moment." I wondered if I should tell him about the real feeling dream but then decided against it. He probably already had a headache from what I'd just told him.

He grinned, "I look forward to when it's fully re-charged."

We sat for a few moments longer then I left him after lunch, citing a headache-which was true—and quickly retreated to my quarters where I buried myself in research. After three hours of research into Starfleet regulations and practices (I needed the information to keep on my toes in the face of Spock) I was more than ready to call it a night. However, I ventured out once more to meet with Spock Prime. I found him playing chess with Kirk and not wanting to stir up more questions from Kirk, or get all worked up from confessing to Spock Prime, I merely postponed our meeting until the next day. All I needed now was a hot shower and a good night's rest before I faced tomorrow.

I had just finished my shower and had changed into my non-regulation sleepwear (fluffy cloud flannel pajamas aren't regulation are they?) when my door chimed. I glanced at the time and frowned. Who on earth-?

"Come."

Spock Prime stepped in and I sighed. I guess he'd sensed earlier that what I'd had to say was much graver than I let on.

"Please sit down." I waved for him to sit across from me. "You know you didn't have to come tonight. I was okay with you coming by tomorrow."

"You should remember Brenna that I prefer to address a situation when it first surfaces instead of putting it off."

I smiled, "Yes I do remember that. That is actually something you have in common with your counterpart here." My smile faltered then. "Hey can I ask you a question." He nodded as he folded his hands in his lap and settled more comfortably in the chair. "Were you so uptight and unfriendly when you were young like your counterpart is here? Because, seriously Spock, he's about to drive me crazy sometimes!"

I could see that amused twinkle in Spock Prime's eyes and I got the feeling that yes he had been just as bad.

"I believe my counterpart here exhibits similar traits that I had as a young individual. However, as his life experiences deviate significantly from my own, I believe he is also uniquely 'uptight and unfriendly' as you would say due to said experiences."

"Well," I sighed, "is there anything I can do to get him to chill out and off my case?"

Spock Prime closed his eyes for a moment and did the equivalent of a Vulcan sigh before he spoke again. "Brenna you must remember the gravity of the most recent events. Spock's behavior, as unpleasant as it may be, is justifiably unpleasant." He gave me a look that of course made me feel like a scolded three year old. "Should you not attempt to have more understanding towards him?"

"Damn."

His eyes twinkled again.

"You always know how to put me in my place." I grinned. "I think I learned that from you so Caiden always knows when he's overstepped his boundaries."

"That is your son's name?"

I blushed, remembering that I hadn't quite explained everything to him yet.

"Yes. Caiden James." I saw Spock's eyebrow rise and my blush only deepened. "Yes, Spock, he is Jim's son." I felt my throat constrict but I swallowed past the lump and continued. "It happened the last night I was there so it's not like I purposefully didn't tell him."

Spock leaned forward, taking the information in stride, "Where is he now?"

I quickly explained the living arrangements and my "career" status for Q. I saw that Spock was not at all in favor of my current situation but he did not voice his opinion. He merely nodded before leaning back again.

"When will Caiden visit again?"

I looked at the date and smiled, "He should come by tomorrow night actually. I'd love for you to meet him."

"I will meet with him then." Spock stood up. "It is getting late and I believe we should both retire."

"Um," I nibbled on my lower lip, "Can I ask you a hypothetical question?"

Spock nodded, "You may always ask Brenna, whether or not you will find the answer sufficient or to your preference is what is typically in question."

"Well, I know many Vulcans are touch telepaths," He nodded, his arms coming to clasp in front of his body, "do any of your race have the ability move consciousness around?"

"Explain further." Spock sat down again, his gave serious and focused.

"I mean, could any of you communicate to each other through dreams?"

Spock thought for a moment, an agonizingly long moment, before he answered, "I believe there have been cases of such things happening, however they have been rare and under very sporadic circumstances. Not enough information has been gathered to pinpoint the hows or whys such things have occurred though. I'm sorry I can't offer you more." He tipped his head to the side, "Has this happened to you?"

"I don't know," I sighed, "when I fainted earlier today it felt almost like I'd been transported into a dream instead of just into blackness like with a regular faint. But maybe that's because I hugged you and caused such a ruckus." I blushed then, "Again I'm sorry about hugging you earlier. I should've been more understanding of the possible consequences."

"There is no point in thinking on what you should have or could have done differently." He stood and made for the door. Before he could exit however my door chirped and we shared a 'perplexed' look before I called for the door to open.

Spock the younger stood on the other side, wearing an equally perplexed look at the sight of Spock Prime and myself, of course clad in my pjs. _Q…blast you…you did this on purpose didn't you?_

Spock looked between myself and Spock Prime before he spoke, "It appears that you have company, Lieutenant Jones, I will speak with you tomorrow."

I smiled slightly despite my discomfort, "It also appears that you like to come calling at my door at unseemly hours. However, the ambassador was just leaving"

Spock Prime nodded to his counterpart, gave me the closest thing to a smile he could muster, before he walked out into the corridor. I stepped back and gestured for Spock to come in. He stood awkwardly inside my door and if he'd been human I'm sure he would've shifted from one foot to the other. I mutely gestured for him to sit down, which he stiffly did so. He eyed my attire and I blushed. He probably saw my pjs as yet another reason why I was unfit for duty aboard this vessel. As if Starfleet gave a flying buzzard what I wore to bed!

When Spock remained passive and silent even after being seated, I cleared my throat, "As much as I enjoy your presence at such an hour I would like to know why you're here."

"It is the enjoyment of my presence that has brought me here."

Huh? I raised an eyebrow at his words and did my best not to look confused beyond belief, because believe me I am right now.

"Clarify please, Spock." I carefully placed my hands in my lap to keep from fidgeting.

He paused for a good while and again I had to concentrate on not fidgeting before he finally proceeded, "I witnessed an uncommon display of affection and familiarity between yourself and the ambassador today. In addition, you mentioned earlier that you are aware of the pon farr of Vulcans, a most secretive and taboo subject that not many outworlders know." Uh oh...I think I knew where he was going with this. "In addition, the ambassador was here with you at, as you stated, a 'late hour.'" He gave me a very direct look and I barely kept from squirming. "Though you stated otherwise earlier, I was lead to believe that you had a son with the ambassador as well. Though you have briefly explained how you know of pon farr and that the ambassador is not your son's father, you have still left some, how do you say, 'holes' in your story."

Okay so how do I respond to that?

"I was so familiar with the ambassador because in my time, aboard the other Enterprise, I was given the privilege of forging a strong friendship with him, as well as with Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy. Seeing him again was both distressing and reassuring, and though I know it was unfair to press him to, he did oblige me with one hug." I took a deep breath. "And while I am aware of pon farr, and for reasons I care not to elaborate on, I did not experience this with the ambassador, as I'm sure you were concerned I had." His features did not change but I got the feeling that he was more than likely relieved. "The only reason why I mentioned it earlier today was in an effort to distract you from the knowledge of your other self being aboard. The captain and I did not know that you'd already become acquainted with your other self and had I known that I would have not made such an outrageous statement and brought embarrassment upon not only you but also myself and Spock Prime as well."

There was a quiet pause before Spock spoke again, "However you did mention that you were intimately acquainted with pon farr?"

"Yes," I sighed, "I am. I will not go into detail but I was almost chosen as a surrogate for a Vulcan of short acquaintance in the face of an emergency. However, a more willing surrogate was found, and both parties survived. That is my only involvement with pon farr." I tilted my head to the side and eyed Spock in an entirely new way. "If I may be so bold as to ask, but why are you curious about my involvement with pon farr or with the ambassador? It is surely not near your time and if it were would you not seek out-" His eyes flashed and I bit my tongue, knowing that mentioning Uhura would not be wise.

"It would be four more years until my time had not the destruction of Vulcan occurred. My bond mate was among those destroyed and with her demise, and the destruction of Vulcan, I have felt an alteration in my normal physiological state. I estimate no more than a half a year before I will be in the throes of the blood fever."

Oh dear...that wasn't good. But again, why was he talking to me about this?

"You haven't answered my question as to why me, Spock. Already, we have demonstrated that we don't get along too well, what with your gross misunderstandings and my volatile nature. I can only assume that I would not be your logical choice, given that there is a need to repopulate your species, nor would any other human for that matter." Sorry Uhura but that was the frightful truth. "How am I involved in your dilemma?"

Spock's hands clasped ever so subtly tighter, "Once the Vulcans are settled on their new planet you will be the only other person onboard that will be aware of the symptoms and needs of this time. Though you briefly acquainted the Captain with what it was, you did not go into detail, and of that I am what could be considered grateful. I ask that you carefully monitor me and my actions. Because of the magnitude of our present state within Starfleet, my duties are many and though I know myself well enough to know when it is close to a dangerous level, I ask that you filter my reactions if we are not close enough to the colony when I enter my time."

"So you want me to, in a sense, be your watchman and buffer?"

"If you wish to call it so then yes, that is what I ask. If this is too much then I will understand your declination of such responsibility."

I waved away his concern, "It isn't something I think I can't handle, Spock. But I am curious as to why you did not give this duty to someone with whom you are more firmly acquainted and perhaps closer to."

He knew that I knew about Uhura, that much was obvious. However, whether or not he would acknowledge that fact remained to be seen.

"There is no one on board with whom I'd trust this responsibility to other than yourself."

Whoah...what happened between him and Uhura? And here I thought he saw me as a bug…

"Spock, you may find this intrusive but, I must ask if your past involvement with Uhura has any influence on your present decision?"

His hands clasped tighter, "Lieutenant Jones I do not see the relevance."

"I do Spock," I took a deep breath, "the logical choice to me and my past assumptions would be Uhura but if there has been some sort of falling out between you two I can understand why you would ask me to do this. My only other question would be, what caused the difference between the two of you? Of course you do not have to answer this question, nor do I expect you to, but I had to ask, to appease my human curiosity."

He remained silent for some time, and in that time I noticed that my hair was dry and that more time had passed than I originally thought. He'd been there for over an hour already.

"Even though I am half-human I feel the great differences between humans and Vulcans. They seek different qualities in mates; they have different priorities that sometimes cannot always be reconciled. While Lieutenant Uhura offered affection and support I felt that she did not offer the necessary requirements that must be found in a mate at this time." I interpreted this as she was not Vulcan and at this time that was a requirement for him. He was willing to sacrifice the love he had from and possibly for Uhura in light of the need to help rebuild his race. Though I may not always understand Vulcans I do have a high respect for them.

"I see," he raised an eyebrow at my words and I blushed, "well I don't see everything but I understand a little more than I did before. I thank you for your trust in my abilities to aid you and for revealing so much to me. You may be assured that I will treat this with utmost confidentiality." He nodded in understanding. "Now I hope you don't mind but I am very tired and I'm sure you need at least some rest as well."

He nodded again but remained seated. I took that as cue that he had something else on his mind.

"You wish to discuss something else?"

Spock nodded, "I wanted to apologize for the incident earlier today. I was unaware that it could or would occur." I raised an eyebrow but couldn't question what on earth he was talking about before he continued. "I have since done research into other instances of such an occurrence and there is insignificant information to deduct a reason or how it did happen at this time. I will continue to research however."

When he stopped talking I suddenly realized that he was referring to the dream-like happening in the cave, and that the itch in my brain was indeed him again. It all clicked into place I saw from his face that he knew that I knew and that he was a bit relieved that he wouldn't have to verbally explain himself further.

"What did you do while I was in there though? I mean from when I woke up you seemed to be awake and alert by my bedside. How come I was the only one of us who fainted?"

He again clasped his hands, "I am uncertain of all the particulars. This is also one of the reasons I have sought you out in regards to the other matter we have discussed."

"So if the 'dream' was in fact reality, you already knew all the answers to your earlier questions. Why did you ask them again?"

"I wanted to ascertain fact from fiction; make sure that the answers were the same."

That made sense. The itch in my brain increased and I frowned. "Are you purposefully probing my mind right now or is that just going to be something I'll have to get used to now that I've been in your dreams and also had you in my head while you were a dog?"

"I apologize," immediately the itch disappeared, "I did not realize that the traces of the bond were still so strong. I will make more effort to not rely on it for information from now on."

"It isn't a problem, as long as you aren't always reading my mind or spying on me." I glared at him. "Which you haven't been have you?'

"The connection that we share is not strong enough to support such 'spying' efforts on my part, as you describe them. You may be reassured of your own mental privacy, Lieutenant." He stood and made for the door. I followed him before he paused and again looked at my attire.

"May I ask another question Lieutenant Jones?"

"Anything." Other than about my son.

"What is the significance of your sleep attire? I do not understand the design."

I bit my lip to keep from laughing, "Absolutely no significance outside of if being considered cute and appreciated for its reminder of childhood."

He raised an eyebrow before nodding and leaving me in silence and a headache. Now this was a strange development. What else did Q have in store for me?


	13. Russians Need Hugs

I'd managed to fall asleep nearly two hours later—my mind just wouldn't stop reeling from the fact that I'd been naked inside Spock's dream (did he often dream of me naked?) and it still couldn't quite wrap around the fact that he'd asked me to keep an eye on him in case of pon farr symptoms (did that mean that he'd ask me to help him through it? How was I a better choice than Uhura? Wasn't he supposed to be helping proprogate the species or something?).

I only received restless sleep plagued with weird dreams—thankfully not Vulcan induced or related—and an annoying rise and fall in body temperature that kept me rolling around in my blankets until I was so tangled up I opted to kick them off altogether. Of course this made me more cold than hot but it was better than getting strangled by the offending blankets.

The next morning I was not exactly ready to greet the day; I was sluggish and barely made it to my office without bumping into people. Christine laughed at me, wondering if I'd gone on a binge without inviting her and Scotty—they had indeed started meeting up together aside from when I was there, so perhaps I had inadvertently helped a new couple blossom-just as I was perhaps accidentally breaking one up.

Even after I arrived at my office I wasn't quite sure what I was supposed to be doing. I sat down and blinked at my consol for a good five minutes before I actually started moving, taking notes on new cases the head counselor had passed off onto my plate—he had a habit of doing that, not that I really minded. It was nice to actually have a useful position instead of honorary mascot as I'd often felt on the other Enterprise.

"Lieutenant?"

I looked up to find Chekov hovering in my doorway. A flash of the day before reminded me of our appointment and I mentally kicked myself. I should've double checked with him and confirmed; I should've been waiting for him without stuff all over my desk. Sometimes I totally sucked at this counselor thing.

"Yes, Mr. Chekov, come in come in." I waved for him to sit down.

As he seated himself, I pulled open the drawer by my knee and fished out a portable tea set complete with tea biscuits—I made sure to keep it stocked and ready for visits. It only took me a few moments to get the water warming and in that time Chekov managed to look a little more calm—well at least not like he was about to snap in half out of nervousness.

Once the tea was settled in front of us both, I carefully kept my gaze neutral and my smile minimal. "So what brings you here? Mr. Sulu mentioned something about girls?"

I was amazed at how quickly his face turned beet red. I raised my eyebrows at his reaction but said nothing, figuring he'd come out with it when he was good and ready.

"I, uh, that is to say, I mean, vell..." He stammered, avoiding eye contact at all costs until finally his brain managed to catch up with his mouth and he started to make sense again. "Lieutenant, I know that everyone onboard sees me as a child and many only grudgingly give me due respect for my abilities." Wow; after that stammering introduction he was piecing together rather coherent sentences. "It doesn't matter vhat I do or say, but certain members of the crew insist upon seeing me only as juvenile." His accent peeked through more heavily in certain areas but overall he was quite easy to understand and keep up with.

"This is my cue to ask you that ever generic question of: how does that make you feel?"

"Angry, confused as to how to prove them vrong, and very frustrated."

I nodded, "How does this relate to girls as Mr. Sulu led me to believe?"

"Vell," he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I suppose it is my natural tendency to aspire for things I cannot have..."

I raised an eyebrow and the corner of my mouth twitched. Where was the kid going with this? I waited for him to continue but when he didn't I spoke again.

"What or who can you not aspire to?" I prompted when he remained silent.

He jumped in the chair as though he'd been lost in his thoughts. Again he blushed, this time pausing to down all the tea in his cup, grimace, and then continue.

"The voman I'm attracted to is around eight years older than I am and she doesn't even know I exist."

Of course I couldn't tell him this but, yes, that did suck.

"Care to tell me more about this woman? What is she like? Why do you feel she doesn't notice you?"

He sighed forlornly and I had to keep myself from reaching out and patting his head to comfort him. "She is smart, and funny, and sophisticated and totally out of my league." He ran a hand through his short but unruly hair. "Any time I do things for her, or seek out her expertise, she looks right through me to HIM."

Oh, there was the other part of the equation I hadn't gotten yet. This shed a whole new light on the situation, and in all honesty, I rather knew how he felt.

"So you know who your competition is then?"

He nodded, "He is even older than her. He is much more than I could ever dream of being."

"I'm going to stop you right there." I held up my hand to silence him. "Thinking and speaking that way will only result in a vicious circle of doubt; it's called a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can't depend on other people to always be there to cheer you on or hold you up. You have to be your own cheerleader in a way." He looked confused for a moment but I continued. "While this other man may be older and may be more accomplished, he is a different man. You will never be the man he is because you are not him. It is," I racked my brain for a good word and sighed when I picked the following one, "illogical to compare yourself to someone else when even if you were the same rank, looked the same, and nearly everything was the same, you would still be two different individuals. He would still be better than you at one thing and you would still be better than him at another." I let my words die out, and his eyes stop glazing over, before I ventured to speak again. "What sorts of things do you do for her?"

After a moment he shook his head and got a wistful look in his eyes, "I offer to save her her favorite dessert just in case she's late getting off duty, I always help her carry her PADDs and offer to help her file away information that she knows I won't mess up. I pull out her chair in the mess hall whenever I can; I even left her a box of Deltan Chocolates at her station on her birthday." From the way he spoke I got the impression that Deltan chocolate was pretty expensive and/or rare.

"Are these things reason enough for her to be interested in you? Do these actions alone give you merit?" Here I was playing the devil's advocate, and I'm sure somewhere there's a handbook for counselors that says you're only supposed to be touchy feely nice and junk, but I obviously didn't read that handbook. "Do you feel that if a woman did such things for you that you should or would automatically know that she was interested in you?"

He paused and in his pause I too downed my tea and biscuit.

"No, maybe not."

I nodded, "So perhaps, just perhaps, she doesn't realize she's looking through you, as you say, because you have not established a friendship. What you described to me sounds more like a servant, or, no offense, a hopeless crush." His eyes widened. "I'm sure others have told you that I'm not the type of counselor that makes you feel good about perpetuating bad habits or lack of gumption." He nodded his eyes still wide. "Mr. Chekov I'm blunt and to the point and at this time what you've told me has shown me that you are nervous and more than a little afraid to let her know you are interested for a few reasons, and correct me if any of them are wrong. You feel she is too good for you and you'll never reach her level," he nodded, "you wouldn't have mentioned age unless you saw that as a potential problem," he nodded again, "and there is apparently another man in the picture with whom you must compete but lack the courage to do so." He paused but then hesitatingly nodded. "Now that we have identified the stressors in this situation the question remains: what are you going to do about all this?"

His face was blank and after a moment panic seemed to come to light in his eyes. I quickly raised my hand to keep his attention on me and not his fears.

"Mr. Chekov I'm not saying you need to find a solution right now. Relationships are not like math equations where there is a proper formula to plug-in and it all comes out nice and pretty. For one thing, relationships are relative, what works for one may not work for another. What you possibly need to do is find out what it is inside you that is holding you back from reaching your full potential, what is causing all this lack of confidence and fear, also pinpoint the instigators of those who make you seem small and insignificant and approach them when you feel you can and tell them, in a non-aggressive manner, how things really are. Perhaps you should resolve issues outside the romantic realm before you attempt to tread into that danger zone." I paused again to let my words sink in and once the light of understanding came to his eyes I continued. "Once you have your personal issues resolved I believe facing down this HIM in reference to your lady interest will be much easier."

He nodded but it was obvious he wasn't finished. "Vhat if they're both of higher rank?"

I barely kept myself from gaping. Why hadn't he said that to begin with? That changed the whole equation.

"Well, then, Mr. Chekov I suggest you write an appeal to Starfleet to do away with the fraternization rules among its personnel." He looked quite downcast and I again wanted to pat him or hug him. "This fact does not change the earlier point though; you perhaps should address the other stressors in your life so that you may reach your full potential."

He nodded, still looking forlorn. I was grasping at straws trying to figure out what I could say to cheer him up.

"Have you met all the females of your own rank?"

He looked up from his lap and shook his head, "I have only recently begun to meet more of the crew."

"Well then I suggest you keep an open mind, and heart, as you spread you social boundaries." I smiled at him until the corners of his lips turned up slightly in return. "All is not lost with this situation, Mr. Chekov, there is hope yet."

He nodded after a moment's pause. "I'm due on duty in a little vhile. Thank you Lieutenant for listening and talking to me, it has helped me think of many things."

"Any time, Mr. Chekov, I'm sure you know my door is always open if you need me." He nodded and moved towards the door. Interestingly enough he did not move with any of his earlier hesitation or awkwardness but once he was out in the corridor again he appeared a bit more lanky and clumsy than when in my office. That was fascinating.

I smiled to myself as I charted the appointment in the log, what had been discussed, and all that jazz. I was just finishing up when my com badge chirped—I basically slept and showered with it now.

I quickly leaned over, "Lieutenant Jones here."

"I'd like to make an appointment." My eyes widened when Uhura's voice came through.


	14. Whats Gnawing Nyota

I not so quickly recovered from my initial surprise, "An appointment?"

"Yes, is the connection bad, did you not hear me?"

I suppose I deserved that for parroting back what she just said. "I'm sorry, yes I heard you. I just had someone leave so I'm still thinking about them and the sudden shift must've made me batty for a moment." Well I'm actually always batty but I wasn't going to add that tidbit. "When do you want to make the appointment for?"

She sighed, "Is now an okay time?"

"Uh sure," I scratched my head, "come on over, the doors open and my schedule is free."

She ended the transmission and I knew she'd be there in less than five minutes. I heated up more tea and rearranged the biscuit tray. When my door swished open I looked up expecting to see Uhura but instead got an eyeful of Kirk.

"Captain, um, what are you doing here?"

He looked surprised at my surprise and mischievous as well, "You almost sound guilty, Lieutenant, what were you doing before I came in?"

"No, it's not guilt you hear, it's just surprise. I have an appointment and I just thought you would be her."

He smiled, "Well I'm sad to say that that's not the first time I've been mistaken for a female."

I giggled and almost laughed out rightly in remembrance of the time I'd been stuck in his, well his counterpart's, body. Now that had been strange and as much as I love(d) Kirk, I certainly didn't want to repeat that incident. I stood up and stepped towards him.

"I'm envisioning an evening together sometime soon where you can explain in more detail what you meant by that comment." I dryly commented, watching a broad smile spread across his lips. "In any case, what brings you to my neck of the woods?"

"I had a question to ask." I raised an eyebrow at his statement; he grimaced at my action, making me smile.

"What question?"

"I need a full debriefing on all personnel tomorrow morning."

"That sounded more like a statement, and a statement best directed to the head counselor at that." I retorted, placing my hand on my hips.

"Well I know that but what I was wondering was if you could just give me a brief rundown on 'problem' names that I should keep my ears open for when we go over the briefing tomorrow. After a while my eyes tend to glaze over and names just slip right by."

I nodded emphatically, "I can see that happening quite easily."

"Also, Lieutenant," he emphasized my rank in way of scolding my teasing of him, "compile a list of all crew members who have tested with high psi capabilities."

I raised one eyebrow but then, remembering his earlier reaction, allowed the other to follow. "May I ask why?"

"You may ask but I may not tell." Even though I could see he had serious reasons for wanting the list he still remained playful. "Depends on how you ask me."

"Well I already asked politely and that didn't work so I could always try impolitely and lean towards insubordination or," I sidled up closer and placed a single finger on his chest drawing his attention away from my face and towards my hand, "I could try to seduce it out of you or," I quickly jerked my finger up and caught him in the chin, smiling in triumphant when he jerked his head back in response, "I could just let you be the captain and trust you to know what you're doing and not worry about it."

His eyes held a playful yet sexy gleam in them when he looked back at me, his focus no longer on my hand where it still rested lightly against his chest but on my lips. It would be so easy to just fall back into old habits with him, even though I hadn't developed those habits with him persay. Even though he was younger and different he was still similar enough to the other one to confuse me from time to time. I suppose that's why I even approached him like I had. Damn, now I'd gone and made things a little more complicated between us.

It was at that time Uhura came in. She immediately took in the relatively close proximity Kirk and I were at and frowned, first at Kirk and then at me. What? Why did I get a glare? I'm teasing/flirting with the man, not giving into his charms? Of course I only thought all those things and didn't even show the slightest hint of a reaction other than a welcoming smile.

"Come in Lieutenant, Captain Kirk was just leaving." I turned back to him with my smile still in place, "I'll have those lists to you by the end of this shift." I gestured for the door with my head, though my eyes were still playful enough to not seem pushy.

He threw his hands up in the air in exaggerated frustration, "I know when I'm not wanted!" He nodded to Uhura as he left, but only after he turned and sent me quick wink.

I shook my head and turned back towards my desk, gesturing for Uhura to sit as I did so. Before settling, I placed a steaming cup in front of her and then myself, accompanied by the ever present tea biscuit. She seemed surprised by these gestures but said nothing about them. She didn't speak until we were both comfortably settled, well as comfortably as a new patient in a counselor's office could be.

"Now what is it that you were wanting to discuss Lieutenant?" I asked as I carefully sipped at my tea.

"Nyota."

I raised an eyebrow, "Pardon?"

She narrowed her eyes at my action and I immediately remembered that perhaps mimicking Spock with her was not the best idea right now.

"Call me Nyota."

"All right, Nyota, that means you call me Brenna." I smiled at her, hoping to take the edge out of her with that smile. It sort of worked but she was still quite stiff when I asked, "What brings you here?"

She took a careful sip then slowly set her mug back down. It was when she leveled her aggressive gaze on me that I knew this was probably not going to be fun, not that I could ever consider my job here pure fun.

"You and I both know that you are aware of my relationship with Spock." I blinked my acknowledgment, barely able to keep myself from squirming under her intense gaze. "I also know that he went to your quarters last night to talk to you." I almost raised an eyebrow but refrained at the last minute. "I know you won't tell me what you talked about and that is fine with me," she held up her hands to convey that much but I got the distinct impression that it wasn't fine but she wasn't going to let it bother her too much, at least not right now, "however, I do want to talk to you about my concerns."

"Go on." I sipped at my tea trying to keep up the cool and confident aura even though I wanted to slink out from under her gaze.

"Ever since Spock and I first got involved it's been one emergency after another after another. We haven't been able to develop a 'couple' relationship in a normal manner because of this. Even when we first started seeing each other we had to keep it a secret because of our ranks and his position as an instructor."

I almost choked on my tea. So they'd gotten involved before getting stationed onboard the Enterprise? Wow, that was surprising.

"However, Nyota, would you be right in assuming that without the emergencies it would progress in a 'normal' manner? He is after all, Vulcan."

I could tell I struck a nerve with that statement when she growled in frustration. "I understand Vulcan's more than almost anyone else on this ship! I studied Vulcan for many years and in that time I became acquainted with over a dozen Vulcan's, some of whom I could consider friends. So when I said developing in a 'normal' manner I meant in a normal Vulcan manner. I understand logic, though I may not appreciate its cold 'comfort." At this she sounded downright bitter and I could see now how much Spock's choice had cut her to the bone. "I am not an unreasonable person I just don't understand is why Spock has suddenly distanced himself from me and has yet to explain his actions."

I did raise an eyebrow, "You don't think the loss of his mother and planet has given him valid enough reason to pull inside himself to find solid ground again?"

"No, I do understand that, Brenna, I honestly do. I just don't understand why he has to push me away so suddenly, so violently." She rubbed at her arms and I had to keep myself from asking if he'd hurt her. "He hasn't explained himself to me; he hasn't given me any reasons for his distancing or actions. He's just been there and now he isn't."

I waited a few moments, letting her words sink in before I tilted my head to the side, "What are you seeking Nyota?"

"What?" She looked up from her lap.

"What do you want out of your relationship with Spock? What do you want resolved in this situation? Do you want him to choose to be with you or do you want him to make the logical choice of finding a Vulcan mate to help rebuild his race? Do you want him to find some sort of balance within himself or do you want him to rely solely on you for that sense of balance? What do you want, Nyota, can you answer me that?"

She seemed caught off guard by my questions so I allowed her time to answer and munched on my second biscuit. Maybe I'd come on too strong with that line of questioning; but I couldn't take it back now anyway.

"I-" she stopped herself to think some more then finally answered, "I honestly don't know. While I do want to be with him, I love him after all, I also want him to be happy, well as happy as a Vulcan can be."

"So if that happiness, or contentment, lay on a path that did not include you how would you feel?"

She sighed, "Angry, hurt, resentful, illogical, emotional."

"Would you accept it though, in light of your earlier statement that you wanted his happiness?" I prodded Socratic-ally.

She sighed again, "It would take time, but I suppose I would."

"Then, Nyota, is your relationship with Spock the real problem here?"

She raised her eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," I gestured with my hands, "you've shown me just now that you have given thought to Spock's reasons and the outcomes to his decisions. You've accepted what you will more than likely feel along with your inevitable acceptance of his parting with you. That leaves us then with a dilemma of where is this resentment that you feel coming from? What has sparked this anger and pain? Is it really the abandonment of Spock or perhaps is it something else, something that maybe you've not given much thought to?"

She fell very quiet and I did not interrupt with more than the clinking of my glass as I finished my tea. She gazed around the room, finished her tea, ate her biscuit, and still remained quiet. I patiently waited, knowing that patience and a willingness to listen were both key to a good counselor-not that that made me one.

"It's irrational, I know, but I'm angry with Nero for interrupting our futures." She suddenly spit out and I nodded. "I'm angry with Spock for being so vulnerable and yet unwilling to accept my help. I'm angry with Kirk for being such a prat and yet still-" she cut herself off but I got the general idea that despite his womanizing ways she still found him attractive despite her better judgment. "I'm angry with myself for not having understood things more quickly and performed more admirably. I'm just angry Brenna."

I interrupted, "As you said this anger is all irrational. Do you think any of it is fair?"

"In some ways yes, while in others no."

I nodded, "What do you think you should do about this then?"

She sighed and sat quietly for a bit before answering again, "I could always try to let Spock know that I'll support him no matter what he decides." I nodded in encouragement. "I won't even address Kirk." I frowned and she sighed. "I'll tolerate him and give him the benefit of the doubt." I smiled. "And perhaps I'll allow myself room to make mistakes with the idea that I can become more efficient and knowledgeable from them."

"That's something we'll all have to do I think." I smiled at her. "I believe you are on the right track. I also believe that you are not alone in feeling such anger." I immediately blocked the images of my torturous time when they started to come forth. It would do no good to remember such things, especially not right now.

In my silence, Nyota had come to terms with her own thoughts and decided to change the subject, "Well my issues aside, I also wanted to ask if Sulu was successful in recruiting you onto our team for the Valentine's Day play." She smiled, and I realized that beneath the strict exterior she was still the same sweet woman I'd known from the other reality.

"Yes he has, though I told him Romeo and Juliet would probably not be a good idea."

She frowned, "That was my idea." I blanched but didn't say anything. "Though I see your point; I guess I've just been feeling down recently and that manifested in my suggestion." I nodded and returned her smile when she gave it.

"Yes, well, I've been looking around for other choices. Do you know Oscar Wilde?"

"I think I may be acquainted with him."

"Well he wrote a few plays that I think would be easier to understand for those who aren't as well acquainted with the ancient speech patterns of Earth. They're generally quite funny and I think even the less inclined towards laughter may find it hard to keep from smiling."

"That sounds great." She glanced at the time and frowned, "Oh dear! I was due on shift two minutes ago!" She leapt to her feet and rushed towards the door. "Thank you Brenna, I really appreciated this."

"Any time, Nyota, anytime."

After she left I allowed my head to fall lightly onto my desk, rattling my tea set ever so slightly. It had been a long day, but it wasn't even over yet. I looked at my log and noted at least half a dozen more sessions with some of the newer ensigns and I still had a dinner date with Spock Prime and inevitably I knew Mac would pop his head and try—and succeed—to distract me. I have just gained greater respect for counselors and know that I could never do this full time.


	15. Bittersweet Sympony That's Life

A few sessions later and I was free to eat lunch with Mac, as per usual. He'd really upped the ante since my kidnapping and since the "canine" incident had actually been more humble in his antics as well. He was still incorrigible and highly flirtatious, in that Southern gentleman with a twist way, and I was still falling for his charm as hard as ever. In fact, it was getting harder and harder to evade serious discussion and avoid serious intimate moments. He hadn't actually come out and kissed me, beyond our flirtatious ones, but more than once he'd gotten a certain gleam in his eye and I'd felt that butterfly panic in my stomach bloom and it was only thanks to various interruptions—namely Spock or Kirk—that kept him in his proper placeàa safe distance from me.

By late afternoon I had been invited by Kirk to eat dinner with him to hear that story, about being mistaken for a woman, but I had to decline; not only was Spock Prime going to be dining with me but also, as promised, Caiden and Q were coming by to visit that night as well. I couldn't very well explain all that to Kirk ("Oh hey the son of your counterpart, our son, is coming to visit tonight with the Spock of an alternate timeline."). He handled my excuse of, chess game with a higher form of intelligence, fairly well and sauntered off to bug Spock.

I was all nerves by the time Spock Prime showed up. I was nervous for a number of reasons. One, I was going to be hanging out with Spock Prime one-on-one and that always made me weepy and/or nervous. Two, he was going to see Caiden and would inevitably see similarities between my son and his father which of course would lead me to me be weepy and/or nervous again. Most than likely, three, Q will have taken Caiden to see or do something borderline inappropriate and so I'd have to deal with fallout from that. And four, it always made me nervous whenever they visited because I never knew when either Kirk or Spock, or even Mac, might show up since of late they all three seemed to have taken such an interest in popping into my day unannounced.

Spock Prime and I managed to get some tea and one game of chess done with before Caiden and Q showed up. At first it had been awkward, Spock Prime first seeing Q and Caiden, Q hassling Spock Prime about being lost in space—of course only I laughed at the reference to the TV show-, and Caiden trying to 'hang out' with me like usual while at the same time being intrigued with the obvious connection between Spock and myself. I knew Caiden would bug me about it later but for now he was content to play chess with the Vulcan. As they played, Spock studied Caiden quite closely, probably looking for traces of James in him. Seeing him interacting with my son almost gave me chills. Q, on the other hand, decided to bug me while the others were distracted.

"You're doing quite well." Q was poking through my files on my computer, being nosey and obnoxious like always. "But you're starting to bore me again with all your dainty efforts to keep things from exploding. I didn't bring you here to play by the rules, Brenna."

"You also didn't bring me here to get kidnapped and tortured." I gave him the evil eye. "Or at least that's what you told me earlier." He shrugged and I glared at him, "You said this was my vacation."

He shrugged again, "Since when do I tell the whole truth?"

Damn; he had me there.

"In any case I'm sure you'll appreciate the fun that's going to come."

My eyes widened, "Q, please, don't do anything drastic."

"I have nothing to do with what's going to happen actually." He leaned back in my desk chair and propped his feet up on my desk.

"Just like you didn't have anything to do with my kidnapping?" I spoke a little too loudly and this brought Caiden's attention.

"You were kidnapped Mommy?" His hand hovered above the board as he watched me closely. Sometimes his gaze was almost as mature as any adult.

I stood up and crossed the room, smoothing out his unruly hair, "I'm fine now Caiden. Q helped me." I watched Q smile at me, always appreciating a lie that made him look better. "You don't need to worry about me."

Caiden watched me closely before sighing, "I know it's not my job to worry about you Mommy, but sometimes…" He shook his head and I almost choked on my laughter. The boy was acting so much like a grownup it was amusing—and disturbing to realize that he was growing up so fast.

I was about to say something when my door chimed. I gasped as I looked down at Caiden and Spock Prime then over to the smirking Q and then to the still closed door. Before I could do anything, Q issued the command and the door whooshed open to reveal Kirk. He took in the scene with a surprised frown.

"Is this a bad time?" He was handling the odd presence of Q fairly well as he stepped inside and allowed the door to close behind him.

Caiden watched Kirk closely, studying him with the same intensity that he'd studied Spock earlier. When he turned back to me he had a slight frown on his face, though it was wiped away by a smile almost as quickly as it'd appeared. I wondered about the frown but obviously couldn't question it at the moment.

"Hello." He stood up and walked over to Kirk. "I'm Caiden." He stuck out his hand and with a sick feeling in my stomach I watched as the two of them shook hands.

My discomfort must've shown on my face because Q sidled up closer. "You know, there is a resemblance." Q whispered none too quietly beside me as he looked over at Kirk.

Kirk's eyebrows rose, "What's he talking about?"

"Nothing." I said through clenched teeth. "Absolutely nothing. Don't you have someone else to pester Q?"

Caiden glanced up then, "He did say something about pyramids this morning. Can we go now Uncle Q?"

Kirk still looked a little shell-shocked but said nothing as he watched the exchange.

"Your boy has such an excellent memory; must have gotten it from his father." Q gave me another knowing look, for which I wanted to slap him. "Well I'll leave you then." He disappeared then reappeared right beside Kirk who didn't seem too happy with the close proximity. "Yes, quite a resemblance indeed." He smirked over at me before he disappeared.

"Bye Mommy." Caiden blew me a kiss, thanked Spock Prime for the game, nodded at Kirk and then he too disappeared.

Once they were gone, I sat down heavily on my desk chair. If that wasn't enough to cause a migraine I didn't know what was.

"Um what the hell just happened?" Kirk voiced a few moments later.

"That was the creature I was telling you about." I commented dryly. "And that was my son Caiden."

"Ah, I gathered that much. I guess I just didn't realize you were serious that he could come and go on a whim." Kirk sat down across from Spock Prime. "You obviously met them both?" He was looking at Spock Prime who nodded in answer.

"The child is most agreeable." I looked up and saw a twinkle in Spock's eyes. "Though I do not know if he gets that from his mother or his father."

I wanted to growl at him but I refrained, knowing that that would just perk Kirk's curiosity even more.

"So you know the mysterious father then?" Kirk was curious anyway so I needn't have bothered. "It seems that this Q does too. What did he mean when he said there was a resemblance anyway? It was a little unnerving."

I jumped up, my headache forgotten, "I'm really very tired so why don't you guys continue this discussion elsewhere?" I gave Spock a look that I hoped he would interpret as 'please don't say anything or else I'll kill you.' He nodded to both my request and my look, bless him.

"Okay." Kirk still looked confused but at least he was compliant. "I just came by to make sure you remembered to send me those names."

"I already sent the padd to your quarters." I had managed to find some time to do that between counseling sessions and Q.

He nodded, "All right then goodnight. Try not to get too bored, what with two Spocks running around."

I chuckled. He had no idea the sweet agony that I was going through just with him sitting in the same room with me after having interacted with my son. He also had no idea the headaches I'd already gotten from the amount of confusion and nervousness Spock had pressured upon me with his confession/day dream or the bittersweetness of Spock Prime's presence. In all I didn't know what Q was talking about. My life was far from boring at the moment.

But of course, thanks to Q—or according to him not thanks to him—something much bigger was coming. The thought made me even more tired.

Spock Prime stood and made his way over to me. He actually reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder, surprising me and most definitely taking Kirk by surprise as well.

"Sleep well Brenna." His eyes were still twinkling and his hand gave a slight squeeze before releasing its hold on my shoulder. He stopped by the door, obviously waiting for Kirk to join him.

Kirk slid out of his seat with ease, "Dream of me." He winked as he brushed past, obvious with his brushing since he had plenty of room to maneuver around me, the twerp.

"I always do." I gave a wink and kept my voice light even as I had sinking suspicion that I most definitely would dream about him, but not the way he was thinking I would.

Once the door slid shut behind them I took out a glass and filled it with the hardest liquor this ship could simulate. Downing it in one gulp I decided to brave my bed in hopes that the alcohol would keep the dreams at bay. It didn't disguise how empty and cold my bed was, however, and I fell asleep hugging my pillow.


	16. Things Are Getting Interesting

That night I dreamt of the other Kirk, my Kirk. It was a bittersweet dream as within it I saw us together as a family; him, Caiden, and I. We were at a space museum and Jim had Caiden on his shoulders with me close by his side. A very simple dream but when I woke this morning my pillow was wet from tears. I think it was the dream that caused me to slip up though. My wounds were reopened and I was emotionally raw and that caused me to make the following fateful blunder.

"May I speak with you?" It was Spock Prime standing just inside my office looking a little on the concerned side.

"Well no one else is here so have a seat." I waved towards the empty chair as I set aside my PADDS of work.

"May I ask a personal inquiry?"

I smiled, "It is rarely one question when someone asks that but sure go ahead." I leaned back more comfortably.

"Are you going to tell this captain about Caiden?"

I stiffened, all the pain from the night before rushing back in on me, my dream still fresh in my mind, "Why should I?"

"Because he is genetically his son just as much as he was the other Jim's son."

Did you know Fate hates me (well as long as Q is in control of it)? The reason I say this is because just as Spock Prime finished speaking the door whooshed open to reveal Spock the younger. I closed my eyes and my shoulders drooped. I hoped to high heaven that Spock didn't hear anything but knowing my luck he had. He only raised an eyebrow as he walked in.

"Am I interrupting?" Spock glanced between my stiff posture and Spock Prime's "concerned" expression.

"Yes."

"No."

Spock Prime and I spoke at the same time. We exchanged a look, one that battled for dominance, and he ended up winning because I slumped even further in my chair.

"What is it that you require Commander?" Spock Prime looked at his counterpart and spoke in an unhurried fashion.

"Lieutenant Jones has the personnel roster that I require for my report. I came to collect it."

I nodded, quickly reaching for the PADD he spoke about. In my rush, and in my distracted state, I knocked it and all my other PADDs off the desk.

"Are you unwell Lieutenant?" Spock asked as I stood and moved around my desk to help him pick up my mess.

"I'm a little distracted yes."

I could see Spock exchange a look with Spock Prime.

"Perhaps you should eat your meal early then." His fingers brushed mine as I handed him the correct PADD. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Spock Prime's eyebrow rise. I nodded in response to his comment as we both stood again. "I will take my leave." He nodded to Spock Prime before turning and walking out. He did however glance over his shoulder and gave me a calculated look. In that moment I got the strangest sensation that he had heard everything. Damn.

"Brenna." I turned back to Spock Prime. "I believe it would be prudent of you to carefully weigh the pros and cons of telling this captain the full truth of the nature of your relationship with his counterpart. The knowledge that he has an even greater responsibility may help him in his endeavor to become a worthy captain."

"Or it may distract him. Or it may make him think that he can start up something with me since I was involved with him in another timeline."

Fate hates me part two: Mac came in just as I finished speaking.

He raised his eyebrows, "Involved with whom?"

Spock Prime gave me a long look before he slowly stood, "I believe I will take my leave of you as well. Doctor would you be kind enough to escort Miss Jones to lunch? I believe some food would be just the thing she requires right now."

Mac looked confused but nodded just the same, glancing between me and Spock Prime. He waited until I shut everything off before we left together for the mess hall. We walked in silence, bless him, but once we were seated he gave me that look that he always gives me whenever he expects me to spill the beans.

"What?" I tried to play dumb but I should've remembered that that never works with Mac.

"Um how about telling me why you're so anxious you're making the whole damn table rock." His hand clamped onto my mid-thigh to emphasize his words.

My leg stopped bouncing and a blush crept into my cheeks, "Sorry."

Mac swallowed his food before speaking, obviously his mother taught him well, "What're you anxious about?"

"I don't really want to talk about all of it okay?"

Mac didn't seem pleased with that answer, "Well how about you give me the icing on the cake version?"

I smiled despite my anxiety and nodded, "There are two Spocks running around on this ship, one reminds me of good and bad times while the other is an ornery butt more than half the time. Kirk's been bugging me more and more about Q and my time in the other reality. You're a damn nuisance with trying to trick me into telling you more about Caiden and his father. I've been busy the past few days with some of the random-est people coming in to see me. And Kirk won't tell me why he wanted that list of personnel with psi capabilities. I've been after him about it, but he tap dances around my questions."

"Tap dances eh?" Mac raised his eyebrows and I blushed.

"Well his evasions usually entail some sort of innuendo and personal space invasion." Mac started to look thunderous. "It's nothing I can't handle though. Kirk's just flexing his womanizing muscles in my opinion." I gently patted Mac's arm. "Don't worry, I'm safe from him."

Mac scoffed, "Who said anything about me worrying about you? It's him I'm worried about. He doesn't need someone like you playing hopscotch with his emotions."

I knew he was just teasing me so I went along with it, "Sheesh, you make me sound like a serial man-killer."

"Well you have the ability to be darlin'." His voice was low and, with his face suddenly near my ear, I shivered when his breath fanned across my sensitive neck. "You just haven't capitalized on that fact."

"I haven't with him at least." I turned to face him with a playful smile on my lips, "Who's to say I haven't with you?"

Our faces were close together and there were sparks flying but neither one of us was about to break the spell. Sometimes it was just too darn fun verbally sparring to "ruin" it with physical gratification. I was quite glad to find a kindred spirit in Mac in that fact. However, in my opinion it was high time he and I "capitalized" on this mutual attraction.

"I'm so glad to see you two getting along."

Kirk's voice brought us back from our staring contest, and my girlish musings, and we leaned the proper distance away from each other. Seeing him after what Spock Prime said made my skin prickle with apprehension but I pushed it all aside so I could smile up at Kirk as he dropped his tray and sat down across from us.

"How nice of you to grace the little people with your presence." I watched as he armed himself with knife and fork before setting in on the food. "You've been shut up in your office quite a lot lately, other than the times you venture out to bother me that is."

"Oh you're not the only one he bothers, Brenna," Mac spoke up as he glared across the table at Kirk, "what's with you lately anyway? You're so secretive and tight-lipped. I'd almost say Vulcan's got your tongue but Brenna here has told me about your little 'invasive maneuvers' that you like to pull on her."

Kirk grinned, "Jealous Bones?"

"Why would I be jealous of you kid?" Mac scoffed back, polishing off his water and pushing back his tray. "In any case, Jim, why are you asking for these lists of personnel?"

Kirk waved his fork in the air before answering, "All in good time."

I raised an eyebrow just to irk him, which it did when I saw him roll his eyes and stab a large portion of food in response. Mac looked over at me and saw my action and rolled his eyes as well, mumbling something about bad influences.

"Seriously, are you doing this on a whim or for Starfleet?" I ventured once Kirk swallowed the enormous bite of food he'd managed to stuff into his mouth. "Surely you can tell us that much without violating orders, if you have any."

He tipped his head to the side and looked like he was about to answer when suddenly the ship lurched and we all went flying. I landed roughly against the wall, Mac by my feet, Kirk on top of me. In his efforts to sit up, he grabbed both my breasts and pushed off my chest. I, of course, kicked him off to help, and to get back at him. Mac helped me up after Kirk rolled off me, grumbling something about untimely touches. The red alert siren went off and orders for battle stations started blaring across the intercom.

Q certainly hadn't been kidding about things getting more interesting. I just hoped we survived long enough for me to find the twerp and do my best to kick his arse in retaliation.

Once he was on his feet, Kirk immediately took off towards the bridge, Mac and I close behind.

"Shit!" Kirk yelled upon finding the turbolifts inoperable. He hurriedly wrenched open a hatch and crawled up into the jeffries tube.

"I'm going to sickbay. I've got a feeling I'm going to be quite busy." Mac was still holding my hand, something I just now noticed.

If I went with Kirk I'd only be in the way. If I went with Mac I'd also be in the way but I could possibly help. I sighed before squeezing Mac's hand.

"I'm coming with you."

He nodded and hurried down the corridor with me close behind. By the time we reached sick bay there were already injured crewmen waiting. Burns and abrasions were the main issues with some worse than others. There had been some sort of explosion, which was all that Mac and I could gather as we worked.

I was delegated to supply duty. I kept the nurses supplied, Mac included, and only aided the nurses in bandaging if needed. Our jobs were made more and more difficult, however, as the ship lurched this way and that. I could only surmise that we were under attack. This did nothing to comfort though, especially not when our first serious casualty died, with three more quickly following. I hated dealing with this part my "job;" Q had definitely stuck me in numerous hard-lined situations and more than once he hadn't spared a life though he could have. The bastard.

I don't know how long we worked like that. Minutes or hours, time didn't seem to have any meaning. It was moment by moment, patient by patient. People were rushing here and there, talking fast, tripping over each other, yelling, all with sirens and the ship's groans in the background. We were still yelling out requests when suddenly everything shuddered into silence and a voice warbled through the intercom system.

"This is acting captain Spock." I looked up from the arm I'd been bandaging to find Mac's gaze centered on me. "Captain Kirk, Ensign Sulu, Ensign Chekov, and Lieutenant Uhura have been abducted by a militant alien force. They have left coordinates of where we may find their prisoners in return for their ransom. The ransom is this ship and all crew members with psi capabilities. Will the following crew members report to ready room 14..." He went on to list a number of crew members I only knew by name. He did mention Chapel and right when I thought he was finished he said my name. My eyes widened just as I saw Mac's narrow. "I ask that the crew continue to perform admirably at their assigned duties. That is all."

A nurse stood by to take over, which I gladly let her do. I walked as if in a daze towards the door. Christine was already waiting for me. We'd weathered the kidnapping together so why not this? But why would he call me? Even though I hadn't tested myself I figured I wouldn't have psi abilities, not unless Q gave them to me; so why on earth would Spock call my name? Perhaps he figured since I wasn't technically supposed to be here I'd be expendable. Or maybe he thought I might know something about this alien race. My brain was fuzzy with confusion and I couldn't seem to shake it, even as I physically attempted to do so.

"Where do you think you're going?" Mac suddenly stood in ou way, his arms crossed and his face turned down into a scowl.

"We're reporting to ready room 14 as ordered." I pushed Christine gently in front of me and I made to move past him; I sighed when he just moved with me in response. "What?"

"Do you have psi capabilities?" His voice was low so I had to step closer to hear.

I shrugged, "I've never been tested so I don't know."

"So why would Spock want you there?"

"There are some things I haven't told you that he knows about, but now is not the time to go into all of it." I held up my hands for peace and again tried to move past him. I glanced at Christine for help but she merely shook her head and waited by the door. Obviously she felt that things needed to be said between Mac and I before we could move on with life. Blast her.

His hands seizing my upper arms stopped my movements and brought be back to the present, "Brenna, when this is over you'll tell me everything, including the things you didn't tell Spock you hear me?" I could tell he was worried just from his aggression. I nodded my head to appease him. "You're going to be safe. You'd better be safe. Okay?" He squeezed my upper arms briefly before letting go.

I nodded and patted his shoulder before awkwardly moving past. I wanted to tell him to be safe as well, to take care, but I couldn't. I knew he'd do what was necessary to protect his patients and the crew, even if that meant sacrificing his life. He was lucky to have that duty. I had nothing. I was here only on Q's whims. I had no place among this crew, only a fictional one, but I'd love to have a real one. I was truly expendable, and that was a blessing and a curse at the same time. I knew Q would protect me for Caiden's sake—at least I prayed he would—but keeping me safe for this crew that was another story.

I patted Christine's shoulder and we again started out the door.

"Brenna." I turned when I heard Mac's voice.

Without warning, Mac swooped down and laid a branding kiss against my lips. It was hot, quick, and to the point. It told me that he'd be waiting, and he'd be mad, but still he'd be waiting. It told me that I meant more to him than he let on and that there'd be hell to pay because of that. When he pulled back, I had to pant briefly to catch my breath, the one he'd successfully stolen.

"Understand all that?" he whispered.

I gave a jerky nod, "I think so."

"Good." He stroked my cheek once before he turned and went back into the organized mayhem of sickbay.

I turned and hurried down the corridor towards ready room 14, Christine silent but supporting by my side; we were both unsure of our futures or that of the crew. I could only hope that while this may not have been brought on by Q that if the proverbial shit did hit the fan that he'd have a hand in sorting things out again.


	17. Studying for Lives

On our way to the ready room we took stock of the damage that was readily seen, though I was sure there was much more damage unseen. There were scorch marks on the walls and whole panels were missing in some areas. Though the crew continued to work admirably, I could see some were just this side of cracking or breaking down—so soon after the _Narada _incident I'm sure some of them had nerves as thin as ice.

Some of the Vulcans were being relocated to more secure areas of the ship and the last I'd heard only about a dozen had been harmed, though none killed in the fire fight. I wanted to see if Spock Prime was harmed but I knew I didn't have the time. I knew Spock Prime would take care of his people and himself. Though old, he was still more than capable of doing so.

When we finally reached the room it was obvious I wasn't the only one who didn't want to be there. The whole room was full of people who didn't want to be there. Anxiety permeated the place; it was an almost tangible being sitting there with us, ready to take over at any time. Thankfully Spock didn't wait for it to build any more than it already had. He quickly caught everyone's attention with his clear and unwavering voice.

"In the brief time we have between our present position and the coordinates the enemy vessel has given us, myself and a few other members of the crew already experienced in the use of their psi abilities will attempt to teach you how to better hone your abilities to your advantage. We do not know why this alien race wants you in particular or what they will use you for, but we can surmise that from their militant stance thus far that their intent is violent and destructive. It is imperative that each of you works hard and concentrates on these lessons as your life and the lives of those around you may depend on your performance. We have informed Starfleet of the current situation and another starship has been dispatched to come to our aid; however, they will not intercept before we reach the designated coordinates. So we will comply with the orders of this alien race until such time that our reinforcements arrive. When the opportune moment appears we will make our attempts to free the captain and make our escape."

Once all this, and much more that made no sense to me as it referred to physics and psi and all that jazz that I knew of in name only, was explained, all the crew adjourned to a smaller briefing room to launch into tests and lectures. I hadn't been directed towards any room and so I was left with Spock. He held a PADD and was doing something complicated on it so I waited until he lowered it before I cleared my throat.

"Uh you gonna tell me why you called me here? You already know that I haven't been tested for psi abilities."

"Not even in the other reality?" Spock raised his eyebrows at this and I grimaced.

I swallowed and looked to change the subject, "Have any of the Vulcan's been harmed in this attack?"

"There have been minimal injuries among my people. Lieutenant Jones your attempt to change the subject is noted and will not work. There is more that you have not told either myself or the Captain." Spock looked up from the viewing screen he'd been playing with and struck me with his hard gaze. "While you have shared a great deal with my counterpart, you insist upon leaving both myself and the captain 'in the dark' as to your true origins and the nature of your past relationships with our counterparts. When this situation has resolved itself I order you to explain yourself. It may be that what you are withholding could endanger this crew."

I barely kept myself from growling, "I am not withholding any information that could harm the crew. I can promise you that."

He raised an eyebrow as if in disbelief then looked back down to the PADD in his hand and then back up at me. "From what you have seen and heard are you familiar with this race?"

I shook my head, annoyed that he could change the subject but I couldn't, "No, I'm sorry, I'm not; if I was I'd have told you already. And as for the information I have kept back, it is not pertinent to this situation. It has no influence on my position on board the Enterprise and it will not in any way jeopardize the crew."

He again raised an eyebrow at this but didn't comment. Instead the next words out of his mouth I don't I could ever have prepared myself for. "I have called you here because I will need you to perform as acting captain in my absence."

My mouth fell open and I sputtered, "What the hell?"

"Lieutenant Jones," he seemed to have chosen to overlook my language and familiarity, "this alien race can only mean to kill the remaining crew members who have no psi capabilities. Because of this fact we will leave only a skeleton crew aboard ship. We are in route to a Federation colony called Tarsus IV. We will leave the rest of the crew there for the time it takes to rendezvous with the alien's and retrieve the captain and the other crew members." I saw his eye twitch and I knew he was more concerned than he appeared to be. "I will go with the crew members who have psi capabilities and you will remain with the ship as its captain. You have orders to, if possible, rescue the captain and myself along with the others from this race and also to keep the ship out of their hands, at any cost." His eyes sparked. "Under no circumstances will this ship be handed over to them do you understand?"

I nodded, "I don't understand why you don't appoint Mr. Scott or even Doctor McCoy as acting captain. I have no captainly qualities. I am not at all qualified to handle this ship." I didn't even know what orders to give damn it!

"Mr. Scott will be busy in the engine room and will act as co-captain if necessary. Doctor McCoy will be with the other crew members and Vulcans on Tasus IV." I cocked my head to the side. Now why did the name of that planet sound so familiar? Now was not the time to ponder it though, now was the time to keep from freaking out, though just barely. "Do you understand your orders Lieutenant Jones?"

"Rescue Kirk and you and the others, scuttle the ship if necessary. I think I've got the gist of it." I mentally added, _try not to die in the process_, but I kept this to myself. "Anything else Commander Spock?"

He shook his head as he stood and moved to the door, me on his heels. He stopped so suddenly I walked into his back. I felt him tense up and I quickly distanced myself to make him feel more at ease. He looked down at me with an odd expression in his eyes, as it would not show on his face if he could help it.

"Though our likelihood for success is less than-"

I let my hand hover over his mouth, earning an eyebrow raise in response. What the hell was I thinking doing something like that! I quickly pulled it back with a blush.

"I'd rather not know the odds. I'll quote Kirk and say I don't believe in a no-win situation okay? Let's defy the odds here and come out of this all fine and dandy all right?"

"I will endeavor to do as you have so eloquently expressed as 'defying the odds' and I only ask that you do the same in return."

I suppose this was his version of telling me to be safe and take care. I nodded and moved past him into the corridor. I had some studying to do. There was no way in hell I was going to be put in charge of this ship without knowing how to order someone to fire torpedoes or go faster or stuff like that. I wasn't going to let my ignorance be the death of this ship. At least, I wasn't going to purposefully do so.

I spent the next three hours studying commands and the ship's capabilities. At least that's what I had been doing but apparently at some point I'd drifted off because suddenly I was awakened to Mac's form kneeling beside my desk.

"Spock told me what's going on. We're by Tarsus IV now. Most of the crew has been beamed down, along with the Vulcans. I came by to-" He interrupted himself with a physical shake, "I don't know why the hell things have to happen like this. You aren't in any position to be in control of this ship."

"Thanks for the support." I sat up and crossed my arms over my chest, ignoring the stiffness that'd set in from sleeping at an odd angle.

He sighed as he stood up, "You know I meant that as no insult." He ran a hand through his hair and then across the back of his neck. "Think this is going to work?"

"What's going to work?"

"Whatever plan Spock's got cooked up his sleeve."

I shrugged, "I don't know. I just hope I don't have to scuttle the ship. That's one bill I don't want to pay up on."

"I don't think any of us want to pay that bill." He was still frowning when I reached out and took hold of his hand. He looked down at my hand holding his then back up at me. I saw the unvoiced worry in his eyes and I nodded, completely understanding.

"We'll get through this. I think we're all too stubborn to let something like this lick us."

Mac didn't smile like I'd wanted him to do. Instead he reached out and tucked some hair behind my ear. He continued to stare at me for a few moments more before he started to pull away.

"I'm off now. I'll see you later." It sounded like an order. He paused for a moment then leaned down. Before he could kiss me, I kissed him, winding my arms around his neck and sealing my lips against his for a good ten seconds or so before letting go and slightly pushing at him. He stared at me blankly for a moment before straightening up again.

"You stay safe." I ordered in return.

He nodded and briskly turned around to walk out. He hesitated by the door for a moment before moving on. I closed my eyes and sent out a silent prayer before swinging my legs over the side of my bed and standing up. I still had some more studying to do but only after a quick shower and a bite to eat.

As I went through the necessary motions I thought back to the plan, running over every nuance of it until I got distracted by a distant memory that kept evading me. The name of the planet we were leaving the crew on still bugged me to no end. Why was it so familiar? There was something important about it, I knew that for sure, but for the life of me I couldn't remember what it was. I could only shrug to myself as I settled down in front of my computer to continue my studying. It'd come to me eventually, and hopefully before it was too late.

I continued to study until Spock called me to the bridge. I took one last look at my Spartan quarters before hurrying towards the turbolift. I had better not screw this up. I had too many lives depending on me—much like they had been when Q had first taken me all those years ago. Except this time I knew Q wasn't going to step in and save the day. He was having too much fun watching me suffer through my "vacation." I growled to myself as I waited for the turbolift to arrive at the bridge. I swear if he ever offered to let me go on vacation again I'd punch him in the face.


	18. Acting Captain Jones

_The alien race that I have referred to and used here are of my own original creation and were a main part of my other Star Trek Enterprise stories, "The Dreamscape" and "The Dreamscape Returns", if you wish to read more about them. Enjoy!_

* * *

"I trust that you have sufficiently acquainted yourself with the proper procedures necessary for commanding this bridge?" Spock met me at the turbolift doors, his cold voice not at all reassuring to my already frayed nerves.

"I'm as ready as I could be given the amount of time I had." I shrugged and moved past him. I didn't make it far before I stopped, shock nailing me to the spot. On the viewscreen was perhaps one of the most massive ships I had ever seen. It made Borg cubes and Star Wars imperials ships look like toys. We were still quite a ways away from the ship and yet it still took up our entire viewscreen. How Spock thought our few crew members with psi capabilities, along with hopefully the other starship, could take down that monster I don't know. "That's where the others are already?"

Spock moved to stand beside me, "Indeed. The rest of us will beam over within minutes." He allowed a moment of tense silence to fill the gap between us before he looked down at me, "Lieutenant Jones, you remember the plan?"

"Is that a question or a statement sir?" I turned to face him with a smile. "Don't worry your Vulcan ears off sir," he raised an eyebrow but I didn't care at this point about regulations and all that crap—we were potentially all about to die anyway, "I'll do what I need to do to either save your skins or protect the ship."

He tipped his head to the side, probably trying to follow through with my idioms, as he moved back to the turbolift where a number of other crew members were waiting for him. Before the lfit doors closed I saluted him, old fashioned style, and earned myself another eyebrow raise. When I turned back to the viewscreen I sighed. The skeleton crew at their posts nervously eyed me; they probably had about as much faith in my abilities as I.

As I stood on the bridge watching the shuttle crafts scurry away from the ship, little specks against the immensity of space, I tried my best not to pee in my Starfleet issued slacks. Though I'm fairly sure there were Star Trek fans out there who would've loved to be in my shoes at this moment in time, I would've gladly let them take over because being in charge of the Enterprise in a real situation, where death is a possibility, was certainly not my idea of fun. (Oh Q just wait until I get you alone; I'll pummel you for your ideas of relaxation!) I eyed the captain's chair then shook my head and walked past it to stand between the helmsman and tactician.

"So how far away is the nearest planet system?" I don't even sound captainly so how on earth am I supposed to do this?

"We could reach the Yeslar asteroid belt within ten minutes at warp three…ma'am."

I had to do a double take at the last bit. Even the helmsman seemed at odds with calling me a higher rank. This was going to be rough. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. There was no use freaking out over my lot now that it was already happening. I had my orders and now I had to stand by them. I could do this; I could do this; I could do this. As long I kept telling myself that perhaps it would come true.

I went over the plan again in my head. If necessary I was to do whatever it took to keep the ship out of enemy hands. I figured an asteroid belt would be a good cover area to employ evasive maneuvers if needed.

"If we need to, Mr. Eliot, take us there, and at warp five. I don't care if the ride is bumpier, I'm sure you realize that thing is bigger but we're most likely faster and can maneuver more easily." He nodded at my orders and I nodded in return.

We were left in silence for a few moments longer and during that time I saw the last of the shuttles disappear inside the ship in front of us. Now it was only a matter of time before-

"We're being hailed." The tactician/communication officer spoke up.

There were only four of us on the bridge, myself included. The helmsman operated as only helmsman while the tactician operated as communications with the third crewman operated weapons. Scotty, with at least three or four engineers, was in the engine room but all the others were either still on Tarsus IV or on board the alien ship. We had no more word on Starfleet and so were literally alone at this moment in time.

"On screen." Okay so that did sound captainly, at least a little.

The viewer changed to that of an ugly insectoid looking alien and I barely kept myself from blanching at its ugliness. Was it Xindi? No, not quite Xindi looking but similar.

"You will shut down your engines and lower your shields." The voice sounded like a host of crickets were all suddenly speaking English, at once; very odd sounding to say the least. The tactician looked at me and I nodded, figuring it was best to follow orders for now. "We will tow your ship to our base where you will beam aboard and be taken care of."

I nodded but then spoke up, "What of the crew already aboard your vessel?"

"They are being taken care of as we speak."

That wasn't very enlightening, but it seemed Mr. Ant-head wasn't going to say much more on the matter as he ended transmission and we were left in silence again. Damn.

"Are we just going to go along with them, sir?" The weapons officer spoke up from his post.

I nodded, "Commander Spock told me he'd find a way to signal us when it was time to fight back. Until such time we will play along."

"What if we don't get a signal?" this from the tactician.

I frowned, "Then we'll just have to give them one hell of a fight now won't we?"

The three men seemed appeased and a bit heartened by my words. I finally sat down in the captain's chair and waited, hoping for some sort of signal. What I got was something out of an LSD trip. Suddenly I was no longer on the bridge but amidst swirling colors, floating in air, and with no reference point to see what was up or down, left or right.

Oh please tell me this wasn't those damned aliens that made Jim and I switch bodies! That's all I need right now, to be switched into someone else's body-

"Brenna."

I looked around the swirls of colors and found myself suddenly staring at a beautiful, willowy creature. She appeared humanoid only with a slightly purplish skin with darker purple spots traveling from her forehead down the sides of her neck. What looked like one long antenna curled around her head like a crown with the glowing tip dipping down over her forehead. She wore long robes that billowed around her body as if she floated in water. I was speechless, at least momentarily.

"Who are you?" Classic first question, but I don't know what else to ask right now.

"I am Medea." I could hear the woman's voice but her mouth did not move.

"Where am I?" I suppose the "whos, whats, whens, where, whys, and hows" are the best questions to ask strange, flowy, alien women.

"You are in a dreamscape."

Um… "A what?"

"A dreamscape. I created it so I could communicate with you." I watched as the figure disappeared only to reappear much closer. "This is how I've been able to communicate with James Kirk as well." Oh so that explained his strange behavior, he must've thought he was undergoing a drug induced "trip" also.

"Why are you communicating with me, or with Kirk?"

The figure smiled and reached out a hand. Suddenly the "dreamscape" changed to show images of Medea talking with Kirk, and I was privy to his initial reaction to her beauty and the dreamscape—needless to say I'd be teasing him if we got through this okay—then the image rushed on to show Kirk and the others being kidnapped from the bridge onto the alien vessel, then on to Spock and the psi crew being put in holding cells near Kirk and the others. Just as suddenly as the scenes changed, it went back to swirling colors and I felt like puking from the suddenness of it all.

"I know what's happened, but I don't know what's going on right now." I wanted to scream in frustration. "Or why."

"The people you are dealing with are renegades from my planet and its government. They are seeking out those with psi capabilities so that they may overtake their bodies and use them against my government."

I held up my hands, "Hold on a minute. Overtake their bodies? Now just what in the hell is that supposed to mean?"

The figure smiled and again the scene changed. I saw a large planet, no wait it was a space ship, and yet it was also a planet. It had an artificial sun and moon, with the ability to travel through space. On this planet/ship I saw different races living together in peace. Somehow I knew that, although they looked to be of different species, they were still all the same. Then I saw wars between the races, years and years of bloody wars, but then peace once more, though it was obviously bought at a great price. Then I saw one race start to somehow "overtake" others bodies and use those bodies for destruction before escaping the body and leaving it to die. This group was rounded up and almost exterminated except for one massive ship escaping through some sort of worm hole. Then just like that, the scene changed back to swirling colors and again I wanted to throw up.

"So I gather that these are the leftovers of that rebellion?" I waved my hands in the air.

Medea nodded, "You are correct. We managed to track them down, but not in time to save those that they have already abducted." Her face grew shadowed and suddenly I saw death and pain in the guise of dozens of creature's I'd never seen before. I heard their moans and screams and the smell of their death surrounded me.

I cried and threw my hands over my eyes, "Enough!"

It grew silent and I peered through my fingers to see only Medea and swirling colors again. This was so weird; but this was Star Trek, what wasn't weird about it?

"Did you tell the captain about these rebels?"

Medea nodded, "We knew that the rebels would attack your ship and devised a plan with your captain."

"Is this plan fool-proof or is there a likelihood that it won't succeed and everyone will die?"

"It is not fool-proof as there is always a margin for error." That's NOT comforting. "But as we speak my planet is on its way to intercept the rebel's ship, and yours. Should we make it there in time all will be well."

I frowned, "And if not?"

"You will be destroyed, your ship taken apart and sold for profit, and the rest of your crew will be over taken and their essence removed until only the shell of their existence remains and they are mindless killers." She sounded practical about it, and not at all consolatory.

"Oh that's reassuring." I sighed. "So what are the captain and the others doing?"

The scene changed and I saw the captain somehow manage to free himself and make his way over to the other holding cells where he freed the others. Together they surged against their captors and began to overtake the ship. Those who were able used their psi abilities to turn switches on and/or off and move objects around, while the others fought hand to hand. The scene changed to Medea again, who gave me an enigmatic smile. Then the scene changed again and I was back on the bridge staring at the viewscreen waiting for a signal. Well that was signal enough for me. Time for action!


	19. Lets Kick This

"Shields up; prepare to fire all phasers; load torpedoes one and two." I stood up and stepped closer to the helm.

"But there hasn't been any signal yet Lieutenant."

"Believe me, I just got one. Shields up Mr. Croyson." The tactician nodded as he hit a couple of buttons. The screen exploded into what looked like a giant LightBright scene and almost immediately the enemy ship began to fire back. As the ship lurched in response, I looked over at the weapons officer. "Fire on them Mr. Thompson, but try not to destroy it. At least not yet."

"Aye sir!" He feverishly hit buttons and I watched the viewscreen. At first the LightBright scene was all we were rewarded with, as our phasers and torpedoes bounced off the shields of the alien ship, but then suddenly explosions met our fire and I realized that someone must've been able to disable the shields.

"There's another ship, wait...it almost looks like a planet, coming right at us." The tactician suddenly barked and no sooner had he said so but the view screen was suddenly filled with the image of a gigantic planet/ship complete with an artificial sun and moon. The other crewmembers looked even more worried than they had previously and their anxiety made sense, if that "thing" was our enemy at least. "We're being hailed."

I smiled, surprising the others with my calm, "On screen."

The screen changed to show Medea; why am I not surprised to see her? She was smiling and behind her, instead of seeing the cold features of a fellow ship, I saw sunlight and a garden complete with a fountain. My fellow crew members exchanged glances of confusion but kept silent.

"It's good to see you; without all the swirling colors and nausea." I smiled at her, earning myself some confused looks from the others.

"I am glad that we were able to reach you in time. The ship has surrendered and your crew will be transported back aboard your vessel within the hour. We offer our medical services if they are needed."

I nodded, "I'm sure Captain Kirk would appreciate that. May I enquire, what is going to happen now?"

Medea's face grew shadowed, "The rebels will be exterminated and those who still have their own mental capacities will be returned to their home worlds. We apologize for this incident and hope that it will be noted in your logs that it was not our race or our planet that attacked but the rebels."

"I can assure you, my report will state as such. Again we appreciate your help. I'm sure an alliance between us would serve to further bring about peace in this sector." I'm not a diplomat but I figured it wouldn't hurt to get them thinking about it at least.

Medea shook her head, "Though we do not have many dealings with your Federation, we understand it to be hovering between peacekeeping and violence. Until such time that violence will no longer be considered an option we will maintain our distance." She smiled again. "Still, we would prefer not to be flagged as a hostile race."

"I understand. It will be noted as such, you have my word on that. Again thank you for your help."

Medea nodded once more before the screen blacked out and the view of the planet/ship came back. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Pretty soon I'd be able to resign as acting captain and resume my duties as faux assistant counselor. I never thought I'd look forward to my little lie so much but I did. Now all that needed to be done was to collect the others on Tarsus IV and...wait!

My eyes widened and I gripped the arms of the captain's chair. Images and memories finally surfaced. Tarsus IV! Famine, mass genocide, war crimes, Kirk...it all came back to me now. Shit and a hellion chicken! I lunged to my feet and began to pace. I only hoped we weren't too late.

In the two hours it took for everyone to beam aboard and get medically cleared to resume their duties, I basically wore a hole in the bridge from my pacing—and probably made the other crewmembers believe I was certifiable. I also very nearly jumped into Kirk's arms when he finally made it to the bridge. I refrained from doing so when I saw Spock's "frowning" face; I was already on his "bad" side, I didn't need to further provoke him. As I studied them both I shook my head.

"Whoah! I don't think I wanna see the fist that made that dent in your face." I clasped hold of Kirk's chin as I turned his head from one side to another.

He swatted my hand away, "I'll have you know the other guy looks worse than me." He looked around the bridge. "Thanks for keeping the light on for me; however I'd like to know why you are here on the bridge?"

Kirk eyed me carefully and I glanced over at Spock before I smiled, "Nice to have you boys home again. I did a quick spring cleaning, the cookies are fresh out of the oven, and I may have reorganized your closets but other than that everything is ship shape and ready to go."

Spock raised an eyebrow, "Lieutenant Jones would I be correct in assuming that you are making a joke of your time as captain in our absence?"

"You made her captain?" Kirk turned shocked eyes from me to Spock and then back to me.

I made my best evil grin and eagerly nodded, "Oh it was great fun! I even got to blow something up! However, you won't have to worry about attempted mutiny from me anytime soon. I'd rather you remain captain and me a lowly lieutenant."

Spock merely raised another eyebrow while Kirk sputtered in surprise, "Why didn't you assign Scotty or Bones?"

At the mention of Mac, I immediately tensed up and stepped closer in order to speak but Kirk's chair chimed and he moved to answer. We all exchanged frowns, well Spock didn't frown but it was obvious that he wasn't pleased either, when we listened to the report. Apparently Chekov was unconscious and Uhura refused to leave him. Kirk looked at me and I nodded. I was the most expendable and flexible at the moment.

When I came up on them in sickbay I had to pause. He certainly did look bad. Multiple cuts and bruises, some cracked ribs as the scans showed, and a rather nasty concussion.

"What happened?" I figured making "small talk" with Uhura as I worked would be better than leaving her standing nearby wringing her hands together.

Uhura hurriedly spit out the story, "He…he…" she took a deep breath then pressed on, "He pushed me out of the way after the ship came under attack. It happened so suddenly I don't really remember what came at us. That wasn't what really hurt him, though it did knock him down. It was while he was knocked down that one of the alien's came up behind me and grabbed me. Chekov moved so quickly." She glanced down at the still unconscious boy. "He fought the alien with everything he had. Every time I tried to help him, the alien or Chekov pushed me away." She shook her head and sighed. "While Chekov had the alien distracted I found a phaser and shot him. But by that time Chekov was already unconscious."

Listening to all this I immediately knew that it was Uhura that Chekov was crushing on, and I also knew that she was clueless to his devotion. I shook my head as I finished up the bandages and hooked him up to the monitors-I'd seen Chapel do this plenty of times so it wasn't too difficult.

No what would be difficult would be Chekov's crush on Uhura. Unless Uhura suddenly became interested in dating a younger, lower ranking boy genius there was no way this side of sanity that Chekov would ever get Uhura. The best he could hope for would be a mutual respect and friendship. Poor kid.

"Well that's the best I can do until McCoy and the others get back." I stepped back and allowed Uhura and now Sulu, who had appeared not long after I'd begun my work, move forward to Chekov's side.

"Well do you think he'll be okay?" Kirk suddenly spoke near my ear.

I shrugged, "I did what I could. We just need to go get Mac so he can do an even better job." I turned my back on the others and leaned closer, "I need to talk to you. Right now."

He raised his eyebrows but nodded, gesturing for me to precede him out the door. Christine was just outside and I paused long enough to give her a hug. As we walked towards the turbo lift I did my best to remember all the details of the Tarsus IV incident, not wanting to give wrong details and totally screw up. I had to stop however when I heard a near squeal like sound behind us. Kirk and I turned to find Scotty holding Christine so firmly in his arms that she'd squeaked in surprise. She must've said something because he quickly set her down and backed away, awkwardly rubbing his neck. Apparently those drinking parties had helped them bond well beyond what I could've hoped for.

"Brenna?" I turned back to see Kirk holding the turbolift doors for me. I nodded and scurried in behind him.

"Are we going to want Spock to hear this?" Kirk asked once we were settled in the lift.

I nodded, "Probably."

We arrived at the bridge and he signaled Spock to follow us into the ready room. Once we were all there I took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"You'll have to forgive me for not remembering earlier but there's something about Tarsus IV I think you should know." I paused to see their reactions and after receiving nods of understanding I continued. "In my reality," I inwardly winced as it wasn't truly my reality but oh well I couldn't and wouldn't explain that right now, "Tarsus IV was a Federation colony under the leadership of a man named Kodos. At some point in time the colony was plagued by a savage famine and help was sent," I looked at Kirk, "you were among those sent. Upon arrival, however, all they found were dead colonists with only a few survivors all blaming Kodos of genocide. An investigation was launched and it was found that Kodos had killed most of the colonists to conserve food for his own people, even while knowing that help was on the way. He escaped punishment though and once he was found again it was discovered that he had gone crazy and could not be truly punished for his crimes." I sighed, "I don't know if this same man is in charge of Tarsus IV or if it's even a colony in this reality, but I thought I'd let you both know before we get the others."

Kirk frowned, "It is a colony but I don't know who's in charge of it. Have we heard of any reports of famine or political unrest from Tarsus IV?" He turned to Spock.

"I am unaware of any reports captain."

I shrugged, "Like I said I don't know if this applies to this reality or not. I just hope the worst hasn't happened."

"And what do you think the worst would be?" Spock asked.

I flinched, "Our people massacred along with the others killed by Kodos."

I saw Kirk stiffen before he nodded and moved back onto the bridge. I heard him order warp speed to Tarsus IV and I relaxed a little. Hopefully we wouldn't be too late if something did indeed go wrong.

"May I enquire something of you Lieutenant?"

"You're going to ask whether or not I give you permission."

"You are correct in that assumption." He tilted his head to the side before continuing. "How did you know that it was safe to fire on the ship? We were unable to signal you as we had originally planned."

I frowned, "Well it's difficult to explain I-"

The doors swished open and Sulu stood there, "The captain thinks you both should be out here for this."

Spock and I both raised our eyebrows but moved out onto the bridge. On the viewscreen was a large image of Medea. I smiled and waved at her. She nodded in my direction. I earned curious glances from both Kirk and Spock for this.

"We wanted to conclude our involvement with you and your crew by again apologizing for the actions of our rebels. We hope that you will be successful in all your endeavors." She made an odd hand salute similar to the Vulcan gesture but still different. The screen blinked back into the image of space moments later.

After a few moments more of silence Kirk swiveled in his chair to face me, "So you know Medea eh?"

"We met briefly. By the way, did you feel like you were on some drug induced 'trip' when she talked to you?"

Kirk laughed, "Oh yeah. I thought I'd eaten something wrong."

"I am curious," Spock spoke up and we both turned our gazes on him, "as to how both you and the captain seem to be acquainted with this woman?"

Both Kirk and I chuckled before I spoke, "We'll explain after we get the others."

Kirk's face again hardened at the mention of the others and he nodded. He turned back towards the viewscreen and asked Sulu to step it up a notch. They had tried to make contact with Mac and the others but nothing had come through. I frowned as I moved towards the turbolift, figuring I'd only be in the way on the bridge. I'd wait in sickbay where I could be most helpful.


	20. Time and Place for Such Things

I drummed my fingers across the desk as I watched Christine move about the room, doing her best to set things right after they'd been so askew. She was stalling, as we both well knew, but I was letting her. After all, we had the time. The door swished open to reveal Uhura, here to the umpteenth time to see how Chekov was doing.

"He's still unconscious, though this time by orders of resident tight-lips Chapel." I jerked a finger towards the biobed behind me.

Uhura looked confused at my words but after glancing at Christine, who had most likely rolled her eyes, just nodded and moved on to Chekov's side. I couldn't quite tell if it is was genuine concern or guilt that made her come back. I would've thought that she'd be hounding Spock after such an ordeal, as Scotty had been Christine. In the last two hours I'd been down here Scotty had messaged five times and "dropped in" at least twice.

"Anything new?" Uhura spoke up from Chekov's side.

I swiveled around in my chair, "Not really. He woke up declaring his love for sushi before Christine put him out again." At Uhura's wide eyes I shook my head, "Sorry, bad time to jest. No he hasn't woken up at all. He's stable. Christine just thinks a little longer on the biobed with some of these meds and the dermal healer will ensure his recovery even faster, hence the sedative."

She nodded and I watched with wide eyes as she reached out and took hold of his less bandaged hand. I threw a look at Christine who merely shrugged before going back to work. I scooted my chair closer until I could rest my elbows on the edge of the bed without disturbing Chekov.

"So," Uhura looked up at me, her face blank of any indicator as to what she was feeling, "Care to elaborate on why you're here instead of somewhere else with someone else?"

"Do you really think now is the time to go into that?" Her voice was hard but her eyes were most definitely brimming with tears.

"Oh most certainly." I scooted sideways until the chair was parallel across from her. "Now, what haven't you told me about what happened over there?"

Uhura sighed and looked more defeated than I'd ever seen her look before.

"After they kidnapped us we barely had time to register that we weren't onboard Enterprise before they were on us. I've never felt something so strong in my life. None of us could fight them off, not even with our training. The captain was thrown in with some aliens I'd never seen before, though they were obviously prisoners as well, while Chekov and I were thrown in together. I didn't get a chance to see who else was paired up or separated. We sat there for what felt like hours, not knowing what was to come or why we were even there. I couldn't even feel hungry though I knew I hadn't eaten since the night before. In any case, Chekov must have a defense mechanism of humor because almost the entire time he was trying to find things to laugh at or joke about. He even tried to tell me some Russian jokes; though I'll be honest, I don't quite understand Russian humor.

"They took us out one at a time. I heard them take the captain first, then Chekov, then me. Chekov didn't fight when they took him; I guess he was trying to keep as much violence away from me as possible. But after they brought him back and they reached for me I can't even begin to tell you how surprised I was to see such fierceness erupt from such a small body. I suppose in any other situation I could even be funny." She squeezed his hand lightly before letting it go and placing it back on his chest with the other hand. "They took me in the end and subjected me to a number of tests; at the time I had no idea what they were for but I had to comply. Any time I tried to resist they electrocuted me until my nose bled. After I satisfied their curiosity they took me back and left me with Chekov. I'm not quite sure what happened for the next few hours, I was in and out of it, but I fully remember Spock being put into our cage. He didn't say much beyond apprising us of the plan. Of course, being who he is, seeing that we were both alive and functioning was enough to satisfy him; he felt no need to ask further. You already know how it ends."

She fell silent after that, her arms crossed over her chest, while I frowned at her then at Chekov, trying to make way with everything she'd told me.

"Does it bother you that this man here appeared to show more care and concern for your well-being than Spock?"

"I know it shouldn't, but yes, it does." She pinched the bridge of her nose before taking a deep breath and looking over at me. "I know my feelings for Spock are futile, Brenna, however I can't just wipe them away or brush them aside like he can. I'm not a Vulcan. I am human. I never really thought that that would make such a difference, especially not since he's half-human, but apparently it does. After the Nareda, and now this, I keep getting thrown up against his cold logic and I don't think my heart can stand much more of it."

Her voice wavered towards the end. I turned in my chair to get a tissue but stopped when I caught sight of Spock standing near the doorway. Uhura hadn't seen him yet but Christine and I were both very well aware of his presence. He looked like he was about to say something but I shook my head and jerked my head; hopefully he'd get the drift and beat a hasty retreat. The last thing Uhura needed right now was him. I grabbed the tissue and quickly returned my attention to her.

"Mourning over a relationship isn't an overnight thing, Uhura. Sure, planet-side it may take a few weeks or maybe a month, but out here, when you have to work with that person day-in and day-out, constantly keeping your duties ahead of your heart, well it's going to take a whole hell of a lot longer."

She accepted the tissue and chuckled, "Is that supposed to be comforting?"

"No, of course it isn't. However, understanding that may help a bit." I looked down at the unconscious form of Chekov then back up at Uhura, a figurative light bulb shining above my head. "You know what I think? I think you should take time out to get to know Chekov better. Sure he's of lower rank but no regulation states that you can't get to know a lower ranking officer. And don't stop there. I'm sure you haven't had the time or inclination to get to know very many others here either. How often have you traded jokes with Sulu? Or drinks with Scotty and Christine? Or thinly veiled innuendos with McCoy or even Kirk?" At Uhura's glare I chuckled, "I know the idea of flirting with Kirk makes your stomach churn, because heaven help you if you fall for his charms right?" Her glare deepened but I saw a smile light up in her eyes. "Just see it as a challenge okay?"

"You're prescribing flirt-fights with the captain?" Christine came up beside me then, amusement obvious in her voice.

"Oh I like that term, 'flirt-flight.' May I steal it and use it from time to time?"

Christine shook her head, "Sure. You have enough of those with the doctor anyway."

I blushed. Uhura seemed to pick up on this and tipped her head to the side. She looked about ready to pounce on me when Kirk came in.

"Well?" I questioned.

His frown made me frown in turn, "There is no answer to our hails and it appears that the whole planet is under radio silence."

I could see Uhura and Christine tense up out of the corners of my eyes.

"Do we know anything about the planet and the people who live there?" Uhura asked and I watched as Kirk shook his head.

"There is a colony situated here; however, the colony was founded by a religious group that has long been known to shun current technology. As a result, most of the technology down on the planet doesn't date beyond that of the 21st century." He sighed.

"So what are we going to do?" Christine stepped up beside me and I took hold of her hand; I didn't like the situation any better than she.

"I've sent down a landing party. Until we hear what they have to say I'm not sending down any more crewmen."

I nodded and watched in silence as Kirk left. I looked over at Chekov, who still lay there unconscious, then up at Uhura and Christine. All this waiting was hell on my nerves.

"Care for a drink?" Christine eagerly nodded and disappeared into Mac's office. I went over to the com system and invited Scotty while Uhura rearranged some chairs. Of course we weren't about to get sloshed, but a little warmth to the soul via alcohol would do us all some good.


	21. This is War

It took less than two hours for the landing party to report back, and for me to wish that modern ideas of alcohol more closely resembled the ones of my own century. Almost immediately after the report Kirk ordered additional landing parties deployed, this time with security details. The original landing party had indeed discovered vast amounts of dead bodies, but this time it appeared that the deaths had been caused by war and not famine.

"Do you want me to come down there with you?" I clasped my hands in front of my body, barely keeping them from shaking.

Kirk double-checked the med-kit he was holding. I already told him it was fully stocked but I knew he was just doing it to remain occupied. As I watched him fiddle with the supplies, I went over the plans. Spock would remain onboard as acting captain while Kirk and another landing party would beam down to Tarsus IV to find Mac and the Vulcan refugees. Kirk had only come by for the med-kit, something I had reminded him to take.

"Do you want to come down there with me?" He finally looked up from his busy work.

I shifted, "Honestly, no. The reports I read were horrific so I am afraid of what I'll see..." I sighed. "I mean not to sound like a coward or anything but I still have a difficult time keeping my own memories of torture at bay. Going down there and seeing all that death…" I shook my head and sighed. "I know I'm a coward for that but that's what's going through my head."

"Not wanting to go down there doesn't make you a coward." Kirk frowned as he patted his belt to make sure all his needed items were there. "You're just trying to survive, mentally and physically."

"I certainly feel like one. Maybe if I was stronger, smarter, braver-"

Kirk nodded and quickly interrupted me not at all wanting to listen to my complaints, "I understand Brenna, now stop berating yourself." He rolled his shoulders. "In any case I'd prefer you to stay onboard with Spock. You are not trained in hand-to-hand combat, a fact I find most peculiar, and so if there was a problem you'd be more of a hindrance."

"Nice to know where I stand in your eyes." I reached out and smoothed his uniform across his shoulders, mimicking his efforts to remain occupied.

He watched my movements then sighed, "Brenna don't worry okay? I won't come back without them." He reached up and took hold of my hands, giving them a slight squeeze. "I promise."

"I know you won't." I gave him a wobbly smile before pulling my hands back. "Now go save the day, oh fearless leader, like you always do."

He paused in his movements for the door, "Do I get a good luck kiss?"

"Even now you're hankering for some action?" I exclaimed. Despite my eye rolling and incredulous tone, I still grabbed his shoulders and placed a quick peck on his lips.

I tried to pull back but one of his arms snuck around my waist and anchored me against his chest. "I bet Mac got a better one." He looked like a crest-fallen child.

"Spock Prime got better too." I gave him a saucy grin.

He frowned before bending down and sealing his lips against mine. He didn't try to pry my lips open in order to deepen the kiss, but this one was definitely more intense than the one I'd given him. When he stepped away he smiled and gave me a curt nod before disappearing back into the corridor. We both knew that in the worst-case scenario, this would be the last we would see of each other, and neither of us were the type to enjoy long goodbyes, so this parting was perfect for us—though I'd rather less lip action with this Kirk. Sure I found him attractive but there was entirely too much water under the bridge in my mind regarding any Kirk for me to be comfortable with lip-locking anymore.

However, the following wait was far from perfect. In the time span that it took for the first reports to come in Chekov woke up—so that was a relief for all of us including Uhura who almost immediately escorted him back to his quarters for a more comfortable rest—but the reports we continued to receive for hours after that were far from relieving. There were heavy casualties among the local residents, along with heavy wounded of our own crew. I had tried to pace a hole on the bridge but Spock had thrown me out and ordered me either back to sickbay or to my room. Knowing that once the crew beamed aboard again I'd be needed in sickbay I opted for some shut eye. It was close to nine hours later that Spock finally contacted me. I had only just fallen asleep; so needless to say, when I opened the door I was neither looking nor feeling my best.

"Lieutenant Jones." I continued to wipe the sleep from my eyes as Spock spoke. "Captain Kirk has requested your presence down on the planet. It appears that he has heeded a suggestion put forth by the Ambassador that you are an expert on some of the more puzzling technology down there."

My mouth dropped open for a moment before I found myself talking again, "Spock Prime suggested I help down there?"

"Indeed. He and a number of the other Vulcan survivors have been found and beamed aboard. He has entered into a healing trance as his wounds are relatively severe. I will be awaiting your explanation of his suggestion upon your return. The security detail escorting you to base camp is waiting in the transporter room." He eyed my sleep-rumpled uniform, "The Captain instructed me to tell you that you would perhaps be more useful if you were in attire that resembled that of the locals. Lieutenant Chapel will assist you."

He spun on his heels and left me gaping in his wake. It was only when Christine cleared her throat that I realized she'd been standing just off to the side the whole time. I quickly shook the remaining grogginess from my head and hurried after her. She tried to pick out an outfit for me but I surprised her with my "expertise" in 21st century clothing and found my own way around. I was clad in warm hiking pants, boots, tunic, and sweater jacket before I made my way to the transporter room. It was apparently relatively cold down there so I wanted to be as prepared as possible.

Christine gave me a quick hug before I stepped onto the transporter pad. Scotty was the one doing the beaming and he gave me thumbs up before that freakishly weird sensation of being broken apart at the molecular level overtook me. I hate, hate, hate being transported. I'll never get used to it, ever.

Upon arrival I was immediately greeted with what looked like a regular downtown 21st century city, only bombed to hell. I could hear distant gun fire and as we walked down the rubble ridden streets, on occasion, the vibration of not so distant explosions rattled remaining window panes. An ever present stench of smoke and death hung on the stagnant air. Though I could see my breath it was so cold, there was no refreshing sting from the cold air that I breathed in.

The building we entered was surrounded by armed forces, their uniforms startling similar to that of 21st century US Army soldiers. Inside there was organized chaos of command computers and hubs spread around on what used to be restaurant tables. Men and women rushed here and there, barking orders at each other. I was lead through this into another, smaller, room where there were only a half dozen people, obviously the commanding officers of this area, standing together with Kirk and a number of his security detail.

When Kirk noticed my presence he stepped away from the group and motioned me to join him further away from the groups. It was a relief to see him, though I had yet to see anyone else I knew, including Mac. Kirk rubbed the back of his neck for a moment before he spoke.

"You were correct on some points, Brenna, but on others you were not, regarding the situation here. Instead of famine, it's a war between the colonists and Governor Kodos and his regime. Kodos managed to kill a few of our personnel before they escaped." He sighed. "There were Vulcans among the dead, as if those people hadn't lost enough as it is. In any case, the resistance has been hiding our crew and the refugees ever since. However, the ones outside the city have had to relocate multiple times and because of that, some have gone missing. Most were either wounded or too injured to be moved." He reached out and touched my shoulder. "We think Bones and his staff remained with a large group of wounded despite the order for relocation."

I felt my stomach lurch at all the information, not sure what fact made me more afraid and sick. "What is it you need me to do? Spock said that the Ambassador suggested I come down here."

"None of us understand what the hell these guys are saying half the time." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "They keep using terms and phrases that are archaic by our standards. To make matters a bit more complicated, most of the weapons they are using are simple enough in design and application, however we don't have the time to constantly be asking questions on how to operate them or fix them if they jam up."

"Why don't you just keep using your phasers?"

"There's a jamming field of some sort that Kodos has implemented that renders almost all Federation technology unusable."

"Damn." I chewed on my lip. "So, again, what do you need me to do?"

"Listen and explain. Spock Prime said that you were an expert on the 21st century, and given your history with him I'm inclined to trust him and act on his suggestion. These people are planning on launching an offensive within a few hours but I think they said they had some intel on Bones' location. I just need you to listen up and let me know what you hear. I've got the others scouting out for information as well. The resistance isn't going to help us rescue anyone until they have Kodos but they aren't opposed to us attempting a rescue mission of our own."

"So spy? You want me to spy?"

"You aren't spying when you aren't in enemy territory Brenna. Just listen and explain."

I nodded, confused but willing enough to be useful. Memories of my old Enterprise friends flashed through my mind, jumbled together with images of these new ones. This was not the time to freak out. I had a job to do. Isn't that what I always wanted, a purpose? Now I had one and I'd better buckle down and do it otherwise there'd be hell to pay.

I wandered around the command center, hovering as near to computers and conversations as I could. My brother had made it a point to teach me the generals of gun safety and usage, though I'd never actually shot one—at least not on purpose but that is a long and completely unrelated story. I had watched enough movies and kept up enough with modern wars to be aware of weapon technology in the basic sense so as people were throwing around words such as _drones, RPGs, anti-aircraft, mortars, _and other such things I could understand. There were some others that I'd no clue but I kept that to myself.

It took almost three hours of hovering before I came upon information that useful. Once I gleaned all I could I hurried back to Kirk.

"They just got reports that Mac and the others are being held in some caves about thirty clicks north of here. The offensive is about to take place to the northwest and west. I asked and was given a GPS so we have a map, now we just need some weapons and we can go get them."

Kirk didn't wait around. Immediately, he requested enough guns and ammunition as they could spare. Within 45 minutes of telling him we were on the move. We all had Kevlar strapped to our chests, helmets on our heads, and rifles in our hands. I'd taken the time to "ask" for the large knife sitting on one of the tables—I actually just pilfered it but I'd return it if possible. The body armor and rifle made me feel sluggish in movement, I had no idea how I was supposed to sneak up on anyone that wasn't deaf, but at least I had some sort of protection. There were 23 of us total and I could only hope that there would be 23 plus all the survivors by the end of the day.


	22. A Needed Reminder

"Brenna." A hand accompanied the voice and I nearly jumped out of my skin when it touched my shoulder. I looked up from my crouched position against the rock face to find a haggard looking Kirk. He was covered in the grime of war, as were we all, but at least he was still standing. I gave him a weak smile as he withdrew his hand. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay."

Was I doing okay? The events of the past day were still glaringly fresh in my mind, swirling together in nauseating clarity.

We'd made it to the enemy lines after nightfall and under the diversion set by the resistance offensive we'd made our move. Having never fired a gun before, a fact I reluctantly pointed out to Kirk, I was sent to the far edges of the caves to cover the other's attack. I'd had a relatively safe vantage point of the action below from the ledge I laid on, or so I'd thought. It didn't take long before I realized that there was a small opening only a few feet away from my position. When a head suddenly popped out of the white rock face, quickly followed by a body with a gun pointed at me, I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger. The sharp cry followed by a horrid gurgling sound alerted me to the fact that my bullet found its mark, as did the fact that I was unharmed.

Apparently adrenaline makes me smarter in a crisis than I thought it would, or playing video games with my brother on occasion made me aware of the fact that I needed to change position. I crawled a little further away and ducked behind a large boulder and again waited. It wasn't long before another figure appeared, this time hauling someone behind it. Not wanting to risk the unknown person, and also wanting to know if any others were coming behind, I waited until the armed figure began to descend to the gully below.

Given the bright moon above I knew that just as easily as I could see him, he would be able to see me once I opened fire. The sounds of Kirk's attack were still going on, disguising any sound I made as I inched along the boulder's edge, trying to get a better look at the retreating figures. They were approaching the tree line and I knew I only had a few moments longer before they would vanish into the night. I dared not think about what the consequences would be, at least not yet, before I took aim and pulled the trigger. Thankfully I'm not too bad of aim because it was the armed figure that fell and the unarmed that quickly reacted and disarmed his or her former captor.

By this time I heard Kirk's voice calling for a ceasefire and within a few minutes we were reconvened at the caves entrance, the enemy killed and/or captured and the survivors accounted for. In the attack we'd suffered two fatalities and three wounded but no others. Not wanting to interrupt the reunion, I stayed off to the side, watching Kirk and the others take an impromptu roll call.

It was during this time that I suddenly realized that I'd taken a life. For the first time, I'd killed someone. All the years previous, even in the hardest times, I'd never had to kill someone—and there'd been some hard times. Yet here I was, gun in hand, responsible for killing someone's son, brother, father, or husband. Yes it was self defense, yes this was war, but still…I'd killed someone.

"Brenna?" The hand returned and this time I looked up to find Mac frowning down at me. While I wanted to throw myself into his arms and block out reality I knew that now wasn't the time or place; he also looked like he wouldn't welcome such a move on my part.

"I'm fine," I knew they could hear the catch in my voice as I fought against the tears that threatened to fall, "are we ready to go?"

Mac looked over to Kirk, who in turn nodded, "We can head back to the city now. It'll be slow going, we've got some major wounded in there, but we should be able to make it before daylight."

I nodded and shouldered my rifle. I stood up and moved away from Mac's touch; he made no outward sign of noticing my distance. I suppose we both needed to be useful to keep our thoughts at bay. I quickly found use in helping carry one of the stretchers. It was indeed very slow going and we only barely beat daylight back to the city. Within an hour of returning we were informed that Kodos had been captured and his regime was officially overthrown. With this more positive note, some of us beamed back to Enterprise to do damage control while others remained planet-side to wrap things up.

After changing and shoveling down a snack, and bucking up some more gumption, I hurried from my room and took my place among the skeleton med staff. Mac was still planet-side, lending a hand to the wounded down there as every bed was taken and nearby staff quarters were taken over as well. I had simple tasks. I was triage: stop bleeding or seeping, clean, bandage, administer pain meds, move on. Those better trained came behind me to assess the situation more thoroughly. I was doing fine until I came across Spock Prime. His skin was a green hue and his clothes were tattered. His chest barely moved.

I paused and leaned my forehead against his. "You survive, old friend, you survive." I whispered against his skin. I thought I felt a spike in his heart beat but didn't have time to wait around.

After taking a deep breath, I pulled away and moved on. I kept moving on, from patient to patient, until finally I looked up and realized there was no one else to see too. Everyone had been tended to and/or was being seen. I glanced around sickbay with tired eyes. It had been five grueling hours since I'd first arrived and I hadn't slept since the day before.

"Brenna."

I looked up to see Kirk approaching. I very much wanted to crumple into his arms and sleep. "I'm about as good as anyone else here, in case you were about to ask."

"You look like you could use a rest. Come get something to eat with me."

I noticed a new batch of staff coming on and I was thankful to see that I was officially relieved. I quickly put down my gear and followed Kirk to the mess hall. I don't think either of us really paid attention to what we grabbed to eat but we ate it in silence and then adjourned to his quarters for a drink. He downed his in one gulp while I nursed mine. We drank in silence, neither one of us really wanting to talk about the situation, at least not while we were sober. He had four drinks to my two ten minutes later.

By the time I finished my second one, he was telling me some of the things he'd seen down there before I'd arrived. In some ways it was worse than the reports I'd read and seen from the other reality. More bloodshed but just as many innocents, this time caught in the crossfire. There were no "good guys," Kirk explained, because even the resistance murdered people to get what they wanted. There was no justice, just cruelty. I was tearful as I listened, trying my best to push back my own nightmarish images and memories of torture. He also cried a little after his eighth drink and I ended up helping him get in bed, where he continued to fill my head with horrific images that I knew would haunt me years. Finally, once he settled down a little, I put away the liquor and made to leave.

"Brenna." His voice sounded so vulnerable. "Please, don't leave. I promise-" he rolled his head towards me on the pillow and rubbed his face to try to regain his train of thought, "something. Anything." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "Wait. Yes...no."

I sighed as I pressed my fingers against his lips to stop his debate, "Yes I'll stay." I kicked off my boots. "Now scoot over."

I wasn't gentle as I pushed him further towards the other side but he didn't seem to mind. He merely waited until I was settled before he curled around me with his head cushioned on my chest and his arm thrown around my waist anchoring me against him. This wasn't about sex. This was about comfort; about being reminded of life and something other than death and cruelty. I wrapped my arms around him like I did with Caiden after he had nightmares, and settled more firmly against the pillows. I needed the reminder just as much as he did.


	23. To dream of comfort

Although I didn't have good dreams I still didn't appreciate the something tickling my nose that woke me. Of course this was only seconds before I was promptly pushed out of the warm cocoon I'd made for myself and landed in a heap on the cold floor. To say I was disoriented would be an understatement because even when Kirk's face popped into my field of vision I still didn't know where I was, let alone why Kirk's face was the first thing I was seeing. After a moment it all returned and I blinked away my sleep.

"What was that for?" the drinks from the night before made my head ache.

"Go get cleaned up and report to sick bay. Everyone's on board and another starship is in route to retrieve Kodos." He stood and walked towards his own bathroom, shedding clothing as he walked. "We should be underway again as soon as possible."

I had to stand there for a few moments longer in order for my head to stop spinning and my motor functions to start working again. When Kirk's words finally became clear in my mind, I moved over to the bathroom and knocked on the door, "How do you know that?"

"Did it really take you that long to come together?" Kirk poked his head out of the bathroom, a sly grin on his face.

I glared at him, "I'm not a morning person."

"Noted. Spock contacted me via the comm while you were drooling on my arm." He leaned down and grabbed my uniform jacket from the floor. "Now get going."

"Yes sir!" I gave him an old fashioned salute before moving to the door.

I wound up walking into Spock's chest. Of course, given the startling start of my morning, I shouldn't have been surprised to see Spock standing there. I blushed, even though I knew I hadn't done anything wrong. Why was it that he always found me in compromising situations?

"Lieutenant Jones." He noted my presence like he noted the time of day before looking past me to the half naked Kirk now standing in the room behind me. "Captain Kirk."

I heard the amusement in Kirk's voice. "Spock."

"I'll just be going now." I gave Spock a sheepish smile before hurrying down the corridor towards my quarters.

I really didn't want to know what Spock concluded from that encounter, though probably all sorts of sordid things, perverted little hobgoblin. I smirked as I cleaned up and shoveled down some sustenance-again I don't know what I ate. However, in all actuality, he probably thought nothing of it and put it from his mind as soon as I was gone. Or maybe he'll recall it at the most inopportune moment in order to conduct a social experiment on "how does Brenna act in awkward moments?"

I rushed down the corridor towards sickbay. I nearly ran over Chekov and Sulu on my way, giving them quick smiles in my wake. I was thankful that Chekov was fully recovered; we'd needed him on the bridge. He still had mental scars of course but he was much better. Sulu was the perfect friend to have, at least in my opinion, and I was equally grateful that he was there for Chekov. I was still thinking of this when I rushing into sickbay.

"I need an 02 saturation level right now Nurse Chapel." HIS voice was like music to my ears now that I'd had some food and rest; even if he sounded frustrated and tired he still sounded wonderful to me. I knew he'd be haggard and tired but I also knew he'd be more comfortable now that he was "home" again.

I started towards him but stopped short in surprise. I hadn't had opportunity to really study him the night before, though the moon was bright it cast everything in shadows. This man had wild eyes, burning out from a heavily bandaged face. His entire demeanor was almost savage. He had seen what Kirk had seen, but probably worse, much worse. He'd probably had to make life or death decisions, on an hourly basis, choosing who lived and who died, who stayed and who left. He was a man wracked with guilt. I could see that now, plain as day. I watched in silence for a few moments before I too jumped at the sound of one of his orders and I fell into line with the rest of his staff.

I listened and watched as he worked, noting all the differences. As I worked near him I could see that he was never going to fully recover from this. He would be a man tormented for years to come. Kirk too was changed, but where he could hide it behind apathy and womanizing, Mac could only hide it in alienation and anger. This cut me to the quick because I knew that I was not the right person to help him heal. If anything I'd only make it worse. I was a woman haunted by years of having to cut ties, only after forming close ones. I had recently been tortured, I would soon reap more of the consequences of killing, and I was always in alert-mode. No, I was not the one to help him heal—and this fact hurt me almost as much as watching him now.

I grieved for both men as we continued to care for the remaining wounded. When my relief came later I still remained, ignoring my grumbling stomach and aching muscles. Once the worst of the patients had been triaged, I worked as a supplier. I still had yet to actually speak to Mac, but I had brushed past him a few times and handed him something that he needed more than once. He showed no signs of recognition or openness. Just as I was in work-mode so was he. There would be hell to pay once he came down from this adrenaline; probably worse than Kirk's had been.

"Lieutenant Jones." I turned and nearly kissed Spock's uniform he stood so close. "Your presence in sick bay is no longer required. Please report to your quarters and then report for duty as assistance counselor in six hours."

I blinked, "Did Kirk put you up to this?"

"No," Mac's voice near my ear made me jump as I turned to face him, "I did. You've been in here long enough. We don't need you anymore. You're shaking so bad you're sure to cause more problems." He was gruff sounding and I barely kept his words from hurting my feelings. I hadn't noticed that I'd been shaking until he pointed it out. "Go get some sleep then get back to the job you were assigned to do."

"Yes sirs." I nodded to both men before formally backing up the needed three steps and turning to leave.

There was no need to be angry or hurt. It would be selfish and foolish and highly immature to feel slighted by his actions or words. It was actually my concern for him that made my eyes water. I ran into Kirk on the way to my quarters. He noted my demeanor and sighed.

"Have you seen him?" he asked.

I nodded, "He doesn't look too good. I think it's going to take a long time for him to 'bounce back' from this."

"He's not the only one." He patted my shoulder. "Go get some rest Brenna. We'll need you refreshed and alert tomorrow as assistance counselor." He quickly boarded the turbolift and disappeared from sight.

It was on my way to my quarters that my fatigue finally caught up with me. As a result I couldn't walk a straight line. Once there, I could barely see straight while I showered. I don't remember falling into bed, and I'm fairly certain my pajamas were on backwards and inside out. I do remember replaying the scenes of the new Mac over and over in my mind. I knew he would survive this, he would get past it just like everyone else, but the pain I saw in his eyes, I think that was what made me cry myself to sleep.

I barely remember waking up enough to see someone standing beside my bed. I was too exhausted to focus on the shadowy figure, and I was not alert enough to even feel concern at the intrusion. I was in that area between sleep and wake that resulted in a complete paralyzed state, in both mind and body.

"Hello?" I heard my own voice, curious if one could speak in a dream and be aware of it.

The figure bent down closer and even in the darkness I could make out dark hair and a chiseled face. The figure reached out and touched my cheek. The warmth of the hand made me wonder if one could feel such things in a dream or if this was actually real. In any case I didn't scream or resist, I merely laid there and waited. After a moment, during which the figure seemed to come to a decision, my covers were pulled back and the figure crawled in beside me.

Perhaps this would be the proper time to freak out, but I just couldn't find the energy to panic. For whatever reason I didn't even feel threatened but I did manage to grunt when their warm arms wrapped around me. At first I stiffened but when nothing else followed I relaxed and merely snuggled against the welcome warmth. I hadn't wanted to sleep alone anyway.

I felt the figure shudder beside me and I suddenly felt moisture on my neck. Whoever it was had started to cry. I made a shushing noise, much I did when comforting Caiden, and turned over, pulling the figure against me. I could smell bourbon and mint but didn't think to make a connection. Instead I held the figure against my chest, stroking soft hair until the figure settled into sleep. I began to follow shortly after.

Perhaps it was a dream; sometimes I have dreamt of comforting Caiden as a form of comforting myself. However, maybe it wasn't, it had felt so real after all. When I woke up the next morning I still smelled mint and bourbon, and the pillow was warm beside me. There was no sign of who the figure was, and my brain still refused to make a connection.


	24. Fill Up My Heart

The following days were filled to the brim with counseling sessions, which in turn were filled with tears, outbursts of anger, and lots of frustration and confusion. Everyone was spread thin and barely getting by. It was like everyone was caught in their own bubble of pain and no one was really willing to step outside of it. For instance, I rarely saw Mac, though every night I continued to dream, or maybe not dream, his presence beside me—since that first night I convinced myself that out of everyone on board he was the most likely to smell like mint and bourbon. I also rarely stopped for lunch, and wouldn't have stopped for dinner had Kirk not come by and literally dragged me to eat every evening. Spock joined us sometimes, but usually he kept to himself also.

Where Mac continued to only seek me out at night, Spock kept me even further away than I had been and Kirk brought me closer but then suddenly I'd bounce off of some sort of invisible bubble. Sometimes I got the feeling that I managed to poke inside it, but then I'd get pushed back out again. I didn't know what was more frustrating, Kirk's bubble or Mac's and Spock's. In any case I lived with an almost constant headache.

The more I thought about it, the more it hurt that Mac had yet to approach me during waking hours. I wasn't about to push him, his situation was quite fragile. If he needed time and space then by george he'd get time and space; for now at least. The times I had seen him in sick bay I felt my heart twist as he was still just as cranky and angry and gaunt as always. I wanted to reach out to him and let him know I was there but I was afraid that I'd just be pushed away in anger and, with my own emotions spread thin, I didn't think I could handle that. Besides I still felt that though I wanted to comfort him I knew I shouldn't.

In the following days after the rescue Spock managed to get up the gumption to question Kirk and I about Medea. Needless to say we both got headaches as a result. And recently he'd been alluding to other things that I could never quite pin down what he was trying to get at.—though I knew he was trying to put together things I'd say before, about my past. Besides, I was too busy trying to help the head counselor keep the crew from going bonkers with PTSD to really worry about Spock.

"I see you're taking this about as well as everyone else is." Kirk dryly commented as I jumped for the umpteenth time in five minutes when he set my mug in front of me. I'd been so focused on my work I hadn't noticed his arrival.

I sighed, "I'm sorry." I sipped at my coffee. "It's just that after listening to so many stories of what happened down there…the images keep playing over and over in my mind."

"Yes," he tugged at his ear, "I can't quite get the images out either." He shrugged as he sipped at his drink. I knew that he'd laced his drink with a good amount of alcohol and sighed. That was another part of the bubble that I couldn't quite puncture; while he never got drunk he always drank enough to get a buzz—not exactly captainly behavior in my opinion.

"You know, I just feel like my hands are tied because all I can do is listen to the crew, validate their fears and feelings, and then give them the sedatives or what not they are prescribed. It's really very frustrating and I'm trying so hard to not get angry." I leaned back and began to push my mug back and forth. "My plight is not any worse or better than anyone else is though. We're all spread thin and in desperate need of some R&R."

Kirk swirled the contents of his glass, his entire focus on the liquid brimming and nearly overflowing. "We have been given permission from Starfleet to proceed to the closest starbase to recuperate. We don't have any missions scheduled for the next few weeks so we can stay there for at least that amount of time." He gulped down the contents with a scowl then poured another. "Always takes something like this to earn a vacation."

"What about the Vulcans?" I tried to distract him from his frustration with Starfleet in the hopes that perhaps he wouldn't down this one and then pour another drink.

"Well thankfully the closest starbase is on the other side of the planet we're taking them too. We should be there sometime next week. Then we should arrive at the starbase soon after." He shook his head. "I'm sure our guests will be more than happy to bid us farewell." He poured another and I inwardly sighed.

"Are their supplies already there?"

He nodded, "And there's another starship in orbit to help them settle in. They were sent there after what happened to us got out, and it obviously became necessary for us to take that R&R." He chuckled sarcastically. "It is going to be odd not having those stoics around though. Rather dull if you ask me, though you can't exactly say they're the life of the party around here."

I gave a faint smile, though the thought of parting with Spock Prime so soon made my heart lurch. Why now? After so much chaos and confusion, I really just wanted to keep everyone that was close to me nearby so I could have some reassurance and security. I knew this was incredibly selfish of me, but at least I acknowledged my feelings, unlike some people I knew.

"Have you spoken with the ambassador since he woke up?"

I shook my head, "I haven't really had time to do anything outside of the office. After this, I figured I could go and see him." I both desperately wanted to go and yet didn't. With going, I knew we'd talk about his impending departure. It was a topic that couldn't be avoided. I knew that I'd most likely never see him again once he left.

"You should. I can tell that he wants to talk to you about something." Kirk again downed his drink in one go then began to push his glass back and forth between his hands. "You guys must've been close."

"We were." I smiled. "We all were."

Kirk nodded, "Were they very similar or different from us?"

"Older, more experienced, similar in some ways yet different," I shrugged, "sometimes you say or do something that is so much like what James would do that I have to do a double-take."

"So its James is it?" Kirk raised his eyebrows.

I shrugged, "Many things were different. I'm coming to realize that though genetically speaking you lot are the same, everything else is different. Not for the better or worse, just different. It's been a long time getting to this point, and in some cases I'm not fully there, but at least it's better than when I first got here." I didn't know why I was telling him all this but it sort of came out.

I was spared his response when the head counselor contacted me with another appointment. Kirk beat a hasty retreat and I fell back into the grind. It only took a few more hours for me to want to tear my hair out. Finally, figuring that if we were all going to go bonkers we might as well do it over something fun, that night I put my head together with Christine, Nyota, Chekov, and Sulu and together we decided that that long postponed Valentine's Day play was very much in order. We'd managed to agree on the play and festivities before the more recent hell had broken lease and so it took only a matter of days to get things in full swing again.

Of course, convincing Spock the younger to get the tight ball out of his arse and allow the play to happen took some convincing—Mac didn't help matters by purposefully avoiding all officers' meetings in which the rest of us hashed out the details. However, after I got some advice from Spock Prime—he'd become a sort of lifeline in the passing days—I managed just to sway Spock that this would be good for morale and etc. Kirk was fine either way—he just wanted an excuse to kiss me again, the twerp.

In any case, it was with some trepidation but a great sense of accomplishment, that I was able to introduce the classic French play, Le Triumph de L'amour, to the entirety of the ship—save those on shift and those who'd refused to attend for whatever reason.

I'd had some trouble translating not only the original French into English but also with translating the English into something that they could understand and relate to in this century. However, the players had all taken hold of their parts and even decided to add in—what I assumed to be amusing—references to people and events in the more recent history.

For instance Léonide the heroine, originally a Spartan princess, was now an Orion princess—namely because they were known for being some of the more seductive in the quadrant, still had a monarchy-esque society, and also the woman playing the part, Hassai, was a delightful Orion I'd only recently begun to spend time with. Her servant, however, was not Orion but was in actuality an Andorian—apparently this was an inside joke amongst the crew—but the actress playing the part was still human, Christine, only with makeup.

Hermocrates was supposedly a reformed Romulan—again, another supposed joke—who sought to embrace the logic and reasoning of his Vulcan ancestors and Léonide's seduction proved his efforts fruitless—makeup was not needed as we actually had a volunteer from a younger and more experimental Vulcan named Terval. His sister, Léontine, was not Romulan—though in my mind that would make sense—but was in fact a Deltan—again the actress was Deltan, though she'd taken the oath of celibacy and so this too was an inside joke that went over my head.

Agis, the young and handsome hero, was still human, and was in fact Sulu, so thankfully I didn't miss a joke there—or did I—while Dimas, the cranky gardener was now Tellerite—again it just happened to be makeup and Scotty was the actor. Arlequin, the sneaky and sexy servant, was now a Klingon—I don't ever equate sexy with Klingon personally but everyone else got a kick out of it; again it was merely heavy makeup on a human…poor Chekov.

With all these changes, and my mind spinning from them, it had taken some great efforts to keep the original storyline in mind when explaining it and practicing with everyone but by the time I began introducing the play and players to the waiting audience, I felt things had come together quite nicely. After my introduction I quickly took my place between Kirk and Mac—Mac had surprised me by showing up at all. At first the acting was a bit stunted but after the first joke went off swimmingly the rest of the play flowed together like water and we were all—save the Vulcans—left clutching our sides from the laughter. Even Mac laughed at a lot of it. As the players did their bows I shared a smile with Nyota; this had indeed been the better choice out of all the options.

After the play we adjourned to the mess hall, which had been decorated into a Valentine's Day explosion of colors and romantic paraphernalia. I had to laugh at the sight of Vulcans wandering around amidst dangling hearts and cupids. Turned out that Starfleet maintained the tradition of having a ship's band and so, after a nice dinner, they began playing a variety of love songs—some more romantic than others, depending on what world they originated from—and soon many couples were paired off to dance. I was nearly bowled over when Spock Prime approached me and asked for a dance. It was a traditional Earth waltz, one of the only partner dances I know fairly well, and so we turned a few heads with our actions.

"I believe it would be proper for me to congratulate you on the success of this evening Brenna." Spock Prime's eyes crinkled at the edges in what I understood to be a smile.

"It wasn't just me who worked hard to make it a success," I nodded towards where Christine, Nyota, Scotty, Chekov, and Sulu were all clustered around the more than likely spiked bunch bowl, "we all did. I must say, I think we greatly needed it."

Spock nodded, "Indeed." We continued to spin for a few moments longer in silence before Spock spoke up again, "Have you decided whether or not you will tell this captain about Caiden?"

I glared at him and sighed. Why did he have to ruin a perfectly good dance, let alone a good evening? Of course I hadn't decided. I'd been too busy acting as captain, worrying over missing people—including himself—killing people, and dealing with PTSD to think about telling anyone anything about my past. Yes, Spock the younger had come by a few times to pester me about this or that, trying to trick me into revealing more than I wanted, but aside from that not much had happened, thankfully.

"I have not decided, no. I've been weighing the pros and cons, so don't think that I'm purposefully procrastinating about it." He nodded at my words and said no more. "Spock?"

"Yes?"

"For as long as I'm here, which we both know is something hard to determine," He nodded a bit more emphatically at that statement than I expected and it made me smile, "you'll stay in contact right?"

An eyebrow rose, "I understand humans enough to know that there is some sort of sub-context in that request."

"Well, you're the closest thing I have to family in this reality." The eyebrow remained high on his forehead and I sighed, "I mean, out of everyone here I've known you the longest and in my mind I associate you with the feelings and images of home and safety." I looked down at the floor, suddenly ashamed of my request and confession. "Of course, you don't have to. I just-"

"Brenna Jones." I looked up at his firm voice, surprised he used both of my names. "From this day on you will be to me as a ko'fu, a daughter. You are not alone, Brenna; not in this reality or any other."

His words wrapped around the holes in my heart and sank in, filling them until I felt so complete that I hardly noticed that I was crying. He tipped his head down, forcing my head against his chest, thus shielding my tearful faces from the onlookers. The only way I could feel more whole than I did at his promise was if Caiden could be at my side to bask in the knowledge that he now had the closest thing to a grandfather that he would ever get.

"Thank you."

"You may call me Osa-mekh."

I smiled, my tears fading even as my heart swelled, "Osa-mekh, thank you."

By the time the song ended my tears were dried and a smile was back in place. Spock Prime relinquished me into Kirk's arms and he whisked me off into a wild dance from some planet I didn't know. The rest of the evening passed quickly and it was from both mental and emotional exhaustion that I quickly fell asleep when I crawled into bed a few hours later. I only barely grunted when I felt the expected warmth of the presence curl up behind me later, warm and most definitely masculine arms reaching around me and cradling me against a similarly masculine and warm chest. I fell back asleep with a smile on my face and in my heart.


	25. Morning Assailant

The knock woke me up. It took me a moment to blink away the typical early morning confusion of where am I, who am I, etcetera. Once I did, I noted that for one, the warm presence had long since vacated my bed, again leaving behind mint and bourbon—I really needed to track Mac down and give him a what for with all this cowardly cuddling—and for two, someone was knocking on my door. Why would they knock? Usually they just pressed the doorbell thingy until I woke up, or they just paged me on my badge.

Rolling over with a groan, after having taken note of the time—0500 hours—,I padded my way to the door. I took a deep breath; not knowing what would wait for me on the other side at this ungodly hour, I quickly pressed the button and put on my best, though groggy, poker face of morning delight.

All the air whooshed out of me when I suddenly found myself wrapped up in a hot embrace. The arms wrapping around my shoulders were like steel cables, though they were not painful, pulling me fast against a hard, and most definitely male, body. Equally insistent lips were quickly sealed against mine, the owner of both embrace and lips obviously not caring that I would have need of oxygen fairly soon. Distantly I heard the door hiss shut but could barely comprehend what was up or down, let alone whether or not this embrace was on view to whoever happened by.

I knew I should be pushing away, fighting back against the passionate onslaught. Even though I couldn't tell who it was that was kissing me so thoroughly—in fact this was the strongest kiss I'd had in years, even with Mac, mostly due to the sensations it was causing—I could feel my body reacting to the close presence and sensual attack of the now roving fingers of my "assailant." As the milliseconds ticked by and I still hadn't fought back, I felt almost perverse for the pleasure that was building.

The lips pulled away just long enough for me to catch my breath; however, the breath I gasped in was almost immediately pushed out when I felt the wall by the door suddenly meet my back. The coolness of the wall at my back and searing heat of very lithe man at my front, my senses were overwhelmed too strongly and I still couldn't open my eyes. His lips moved from my mouth to my cheek then down my neck. I couldn't seem to stop my head from rolling to the side, allowing whoever this was better access. When I felt him bite the juncture of my neck and shoulder, my knees buckled.

I felt myself falling and yet was still standing. It was like I was tumbling into the man holding me, my body becoming one with his; the sensations left by his fingers, as they traveled from my neck down my arms to my hips, were almost like kisses themselves, licking at my skin and leaving a hot trail in their wake. It was when his hips moved forward and pressed against mine, making me very aware of his arousal, that I somehow managed to get a sliver of reality back.

I pushed at his chest and ducked my head down, breaking contact with his lips. Finally with enough space to breathe, and less physical contact, I looked up into his face. Almost instantly my arms fell slack to my sides in shock. This, however, was a mistake when I quickly found myself back in the embrace, lips pressing against mine once more. My senses were overwhelmed again and I felt as if I were feeling for two instead of just myself. I knew exactly why, however, and so was able to quickly—though not without some reluctance, because it seriously felt fantastic to be ravaged so completely—push back and duck away.

I held my arms up in front of me as I backed further into the room, a little alarmed—and sickeningly aroused—when he stalked after me. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"You promised to aid me when the time came," his voice was thick with arousal and I felt my stomach clench in response—damn my body, "I need your help Brenna."

Holy shit, he said my name. He must've sensed the weakness the sound of his voice, actions, and mere words had caused because just as quickly as I was able to get out and away from his embrace he was on me again. The force of his attack caused us to fall backwards and to my dismay—because this was getting harder to resist—we landed on the bed.

I tried to scramble away but it did not help matters whatsoever that he was physically stronger than me, nor did it help that when his skin touched mine I felt both his arousal as well as my own reflected back at me. His hands held my wrists above my head and he took his time as he lowered his body on top of mine, smirking in his own way when I sucked in a gasp at the feeling of his hips lying so intimately against my own.

"This is not at all what you had in mind when you asked; I know that for a fact. You told me about your coming time and maybe helping you because you wanted me to be prepared when it did come." I wanted to snarl and bite at him but it was amazing enough that my thoughts were still forming into coherent strings with all the sensations flowing out of him and into me.

"Well," he moved one of his legs between mine and pressed up into me; white heat immediately pooled between my legs and I couldn't stop the shiver of response at the intimate contact, "are you properly prepared, Brenna?"

Before I had a response, not that I'd have had a witty one, he bent his head the final few inches and kissed me again. This time he managed to maneuver my mouth open to such a degree that his tongue darted between my lips and he proceeded to kiss the very life out of me. I bucked against his grip and body but only moaned into his mouth when my movements caused a delicious friction between my legs and against my chest. He sensed and seized upon my weakness by letting go of my wrists and bringing his hands down to my chest while he pressed closer to my body with his hips.

I instinctively knew that if I didn't do something soon we'd both be too far gone to stop, for different reasons. I'm not perfect, we're all well aware of that, so forgive me for finding some distinct, though perverse, pleasure out of this situation. It wasn't as if he could help himself. For whatever reason, Spock had finally succumbed to pon farr and I just happened to be the first person he'd found…wait! This was Spock! He was in the midst of the blood fever—albeit this was a much milder form of it than what I was used to—and he'd come to me because I'd promised to help him! Damn it!

With the last of my resolve I arched my body and managed to throw him off just enough to slide out from under him and onto the floor. As fast as I could I crawled the few feet across the floor to my desk. I reached up and grabbed hold of one of the drawers. I'd only managed to get it open when I felt him come up behind me. He sank his teeth into the sensitive skin of my shoulder and hauled me back against his body until I lay atop him on the floor. He quickly rolled us over until my stomach was on the floor and he was on top pressing down into me.

Using my legs I raised my hips and bucked back against him. This only served to his purpose, and not mine, when one of his arms wrapped around my waist and anchored me against him. His other arm snaked down and around my shoulders, pulling me up until my back was fully pressed against his chest, his hips already grinding into mine in a very familiar—though not with him—manner. His lips left a trail of fire behind as he kissed up my neck to my ear where he gently—in stark contrast to the barbaric claim he was making to other parts of my body—sucked the fleshy lobe between his lips.

"Don't fight this." He whispered, his strength of body and mind coming close to breaking my own.

"Spock," I croaked, "you'll hate yourself for this."

He chuckled, "I've wanted to do this ever since I first melded with you." I felt his fingers begin to creep up into meld position and I knew that the next few seconds would be crucial if I was going to put a stop to it. "Don't fight this, Brenna."

"Spock," my hands fisted, "when you wake up you better thank me."

"What do-" his voice trailed off before he suddenly fell over unconscious.

I fell forward gasping, my body readjusting to being on its own after so much time against him. The hypospray I'd managed to grab from my drawer earlier, a precaution I'd decided to take ever since he'd first asked for my help, rolled away from me on the floor. Spock Prime had helped me get a hold of it from Mac; he understood the delicacy of the matter as well as my fears.

It took me longer than I care to admit to get control over my body again. Even though no clothing had been removed, I still felt as exhausted mentally and physically as if we had gone through with what his fever had been pressing him to do. By the time I crawled my way back to my bed where my badge lay waiting for me, it was 0615 and I knew that I had precious time to get this cleaned up before Spock was going to be missed at his 0800 shift.

"Osa-mekh Spock." My voice was hoarse and I winced at the sound.

"What is the matter ko'fu?" It had only been a few hours since we'd come to the decision of calling each other familial titles but I was already glad of it.

"I need you to come help me with something. Quickly. It is a matter of great privacy."

I couldn't tell if he sensed the truth or not but he certainly sensed something important was happening, I knew from his curt reply. After setting aside my badge I hurriedly changed into my uniform, taking a mental note to wash my pajamas before I wore them again, and began to make my bed. My door chimed more quickly than I expected but I could only hope that Spock had hurried. My stomach dropped beneath my toes when I opened the door and most definitely was not greeted with Spock Prime's face.

"Jim!" Oh hell…


	26. A explanation for everything

It took only a few seconds of him standing there staring past me to the unconscious form of Spock then back to me, and my most likely still disheveled looking appearance, for him to comprehend—perhaps—the situation. His face flattened into a scowl, a surprising look coming from him.

"I take it you have seen Spock then." He moved past me, unwelcomed, into my room. "He left his badge in his room and this was the only other place I could think to look since Uhura was already on shift."

Before I could close the door, Spock Prime appeared, his eyebrows rising at my appearance then lowering when he saw both Kirk and Spock in my room. He also entered my room but paused long enough to touch my shoulder with his hand.

"Are you harmed?"

I closed the door and faced both Kirk and Spock Prime as they hovered over the still unconscious form of my former assailant.

"Shocked, embarrassed for both of us, and very much wanting to get a little payback although I know he couldn't help himself," Spock Prime raised an eyebrow but I shrugged, "but other than a few bite marks and maybe some bruises I'm okay."

"Bite marks?" Kirk looked up from where he'd been checking Spock's pulse, the mixture of horror and curiosity on his face made me want to chuckle. "What in the hell happened here? What's wrong with Spock? Why did you hypospray him?"

"Remember long ago when I tried to distract him by talking about pon farr?" I pushed away from the wall where I'd been leaning and walked closer.

"Yeah but," Kirk looked down at Spock then up at me, "you mean to tell me he-" He didn't bother finishing his own sentence. He sat back on his heels and shook his head. "But I thought it was every seven years or something like that. Wouldn't Star Fleet have a red flag signaling when a Vulcan in service needed some much needed shore leave?"

"Well we were supposed to be already done with our mission by now, if we hadn't have run into so many hiccups along the way. Spock most likely would've taken his leave on the new Vulcan home world while the rest of us played on Risa or some nonsense like that, and none of us would have been any the wiser." I shrugged. "I can only assume that much at least. Who knows? He mentioned earlier, when he asked me to help him-"

"He asked you to help him?" Kirk stared at me with wide eyes. "Why you and not Uhura? I thought they were together or something."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, "It's complicated and not my place to talk about. Let's just wrap this whole ordeal up with Spock's most likely never going to talk to me again out of embarrassment and or anger and I'm perfectly unharmed."

Spock Prime had stood by, watching and listening, up to this point. "He will not hate you Brenna. He will understand what happened here. He is after all a touch telepath. Whilst in the blood fever it is not uncommon for the male to transfer some of the arousal to his mate in order to-"

"Whoah!" Kirk jumped to his feet, holding his hands out in front of him. "I don't want to know anything more than what I already know." He reached down and pulled out his badge.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I was going to call-"

"No, no. Don't call anyone. It's bad enough that he's in here, it'll only make matters worse if anyone finds out about this."

Kirk frowned, "Brenna we need to get him to sickbay. I don't know what exactly you gave him but most sedatives don't last long on Vulcans. If he wakes up still suffering from this ponny fever thing then we'll all be in a mess of trouble."

"All right but what are you going to tell Mac?"

Spock Prime raised an eyebrow, "Should the doctor not know the truth?"

"Well," I felt a blush creeping up my neck—priceless considering what I'd just gone through, "I don't think he'll take too kindly to the fact that I was just ravished by Spock."

"I don't see how it's a problem. It's not like you two are," Kirk interrupted himself, the frown returning, "wait, are you?"

Spock Prime maintained the raised eyebrow, "This is most fascinating."

"I bet it is. Now whether or not Mac and I are together is none of your business," I glared at both Kirk and Spock Prime, "either of you. When you do call him, just make sure you explain in careful details that Spock was not himself and that I am perfectly okay." I turned on my heel and made my way to the door.

"Where are you going?" Kirk's voice stopped me.

"I'm going to go work out then I'm going to shower then I'm going to go get lost in my work."

Spock Prime nodded, "I believe that is a wise course of action considering the events that have just taken place."

"Well keep you badge close by, wherever you go."

I nodded and quickly left before Kirk had a chance to question me further. Things were royally messed up, and not even because of me this time. I was currently in a pseudo relationship with one man, who could only bring himself to be "intimate" with me after he thought I was asleep—there's a thought that is borderline creepy. And now I was the (un)willing victim of a pon farr infected Vulcan attack. Add to that the fact that Caiden was due to visit tonight and I still hadn't figured out if I wanted to open that can of worms with anyone in this 'verse yet.

I had quite a lot of pent up frustration that I unleashed in the gym. I surprised everyone there with my enthusiasm, since I rarely go and since they rarely see me do much more than verbally spar with anyone. But even after working out, I still couldn't get the images of the morning out of my head, nor the weird guilt that was brewing in my core from that very fact. When I first began washing my body I'd shivered from the ghost sensations of his mouth and hands on me. I'd quickly turned the shower to cold and nearly yelped at how quickly it turned.

Once I got to work and began my paper work and filing and sessions it got a little better. I was happy that I somehow managed to avoid Mac, unless he was equally trying to avoid me, and that I made it back to my room that evening with little more than a few misunderstandings cropping up between myself and Christine and Scotty when they asked why I was wearing a scarf when the climate controls were perfectly normal.

"Mommy!" Caiden's voice was the first thing that greeted me when I opened my door.

I actually began weeping and fell into his arms, not caring that I was still halfway in the corridor. It wasn't the best greeting I'd given him, though I'm sure he had seen worse if Q ever allowed him to see the things I did for "work."

"Are you all right Mommy?" His sweet voice was enough for me to calm down long enough to wipe away my tears and stand up again.

"Yes sweety," I clasped his hand in mine and moved further into the room so the door could slide shut, "I've just had a very long week."

His much too understanding for his age eyes took in my appearance and he nodded, "You look tired. Do you want me to read you a bedtime story after dinner? Uncle Q took me to this amazing library where the books came to life just the other day and I got to keep one!"

I smiled down at his beaming face and nodded. Q must've taken pity on me and made himself scarce long enough for Caiden and I to enjoy a nice meal together. Afterwards Caiden introduced me to his book that did indeed come to life. We ended up on the floor together, laughing like mad, after we'd had to chase the book down and lock it in my desk. We talked and laughed for hours, though that's never enough time between mother and son. He told me of all the places that Q had taken him of late and all the near scrapes that Q had also gotten them into. I made a mental note to berate Q later for his irresponsibility.

"He says that something big is going to happen soon and that I may need to go visit other uncles while he works on it." Caiden's head was resting on my shoulder, his body tucked in close to mine as we lay on my bed.

I frowned, "He says that does he? Does he say anything else about this big 'thing' or is he keeping it a secret?"

"Oh it's still a secret. He doesn't seem worried about it though so I'm not scared." Caiden buried his head into my shoulder and sighed.

"You should never be scared, Caiden. You're strong, smart, honorable, and kind. As long as you keep your wits about you, no matter what, you'll come out fine. Remember that." I kissed the top of his head. "I love you."

Caiden sighed, his voice growing thick with fatigue, "I love you too Mommy. I'm sorry I'm so tired but-"

"Its okay baby, you can go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up and we can have breakfast together." I hugged him tighter, ever grateful for every moment I could have with him.

He nodded his head. His body soon went slack against mine and his chest rose and fell with the steady rhythm of his breathing. I laid awake a while longer, soaking it all in. Sure, once Caiden left in the morning and I had to go back to "work" things would continue to be complicated and frustrating. But at least for now, with my son in my arms, life was pretty close to peaceful and relatively normal.


	27. Coming Full Circle

Q only showed up during breakfast, thankfully. He seemed tense, didn't crack as many jokes as normal. Caiden was right; something was happening. However, I neither had the time nor energy to address it, especially with my son there.

After a morning of delight trading jokes and stories with Caiden and Q, I emerged a new woman. I followed through with my duties that day with a sense of ease that I certainly hadn't felt the day before. I wasn't even nervous when Kirk stopped by a few hours later and asked me to join him for a drink that evening in his quarters. In fact, I looked forward to it. I had been meaning to ask him why he'd been acting to weird lately. Sure, he'd upped his intact of alcohol, but also his weird behavior after finding Spock in my quarters and his reaction to my possibly being with Mac was also off putting in a way.

Before heading back to my quarters to change—I'd worked out again after my shift; hopefully it wouldn't become too much of a habit—I stopped by Spock Prime's quarters. I still had at least two hours before Kirk was expecting me and the Vulcans were due to leave within two days and I didn't want to let my "little" mishap with Spock keep me from living up any time I could have with my father-figure.

Spock Prime greeting me with a Vulcan-smile (yes they smile in their own way) and we set about playing a game of chess. I never understood why he liked to play with me, I royally suck and he never needed his ego massaged by me or anyone else. As we play we "chatted" about Spock—he'd been released from sickbay that afternoon but was required to take a sedative every few hours and spent all his free time meditating in his quarters. Kirk had gotten him some shore leave approved and Spock had willingly agreed to stay with the Vulcans on the new homeworld for at least a week before rejoining Enterprise.

The idea of Spock Prime leaving Enterprise still made my veins freeze but I set aside the fear and instead focused on my friend.

"Are you scared?" I asked as he began to set up for the fourth game.

"Of what?"

I rolled one of the pieces between my hands on the table, "The fact that you're one of the older members of your near extinct race, the fact that you will most likely never return to your own reality," he looked up and reached out for the piece, "you know, that sort of thing?"

He was quiet for a few moments, deciding on his first move. I allowed him the silence and didn't venture any more questions. I'd give him the same courtesy he gave me, and that was silence. When he did speak it was with a solemn voice.

"I do regard the facts of my new existence here with somberness. I have a different type of responsibility than what I had in the other reality. I retain a leadership position of a similar nature at this moment in time, but now I will eventually be called on to aid in the repopulation of the race. That is not a position I ever perceived I would fill."

My eyes bugged, "You can still, you know, at your age?"

I knew he hadn't expected us to talk about his baby-making abilities, that much was obvious from the way his hand hesitated before setting down the chess piece in its decided position. He shot me a glance that said all I needed to know and I blushed. Especially with his counter-parts most recent display of ready and able capabilities the subject was probably a good one to drop.

"So that would mean that there would be two Spock's repopulating the species? So you're offspring would be siblings to his, as if they had two fathers?" I scratched my head. "Weird."

Spock steepled his fingers as he watched me attempt to figure a good counter move, "Indeed, it is an unique situation."

"So," I finally made my counter move, "you're more uncomfortable than scared, getting back to the whole picture you know?"

He nodded, "There is discomfort, but there is also a great deal of pain. While it is illogical to take on all the blame for the past events involving the destruction of Romulus or Vulcan, my human side is most desperate to retain an unhealthy narcissistic belief that it was my fault." Before I could gush out reassurance he held up his hand for my silence. "I have meditated on this matter and have begun to find peace between my two sides. However, it will take time to fully heal. I am not so very different from my fellow Vulcans in that regard."

"Yeah, except you're having to adjust to a new planet AND a new reality at the same time." I frowned when he made his move and took one of my pieces. "As long as I'm in the area feel free to message me if you ever think you're going to go insane. You know you can talk to me about things you probably shouldn't talk to anyone else about."

He nodded, "I understand and am grateful for your offer Brenna. We will maintain contact as clan members would normally as long as Q allows you to remain in this reality."

I frowned, dropping the piece I'd been trying to move. Yeah, that damn Q. I picked up the piece and haphazardly discarded it on the board. I didn't want to go into detail with Spock about my fears and the like. He was already dealing with enough crap of his own.

"I haven't had a 'clan' in a long time. Q hasn't allowed me back to see my brother in years, and even when he did my brother had no knowledge of my disappearance. I suppose there's comfort in knowing that to him I either never existed or have never left." I shrugged, pushing the memories of my beautiful brother far from my mind. "I have more to be thankful for than not I suppose."

Spock raised an eyebrow at my move and swiftly won the game in one move, blast him. "I believe that is a sentiment shared by most who survive difficult situations."

After we finished off the game I hurried on to Kirk's quarters—I'd lost track of time and so didn't have time to change. When he answered the door and took in my workout attire he chuckled but motioned me in.

"At least you females don't smell as bad after working out as we do." He immediately offered me a drink which I took, thankful for the liquid but already wondering how much he'd had.

"That's because we're made of sugar and spice and all things nice." I downed the drink in one gulp and held out my glass for another.

Kirk chuckled, "I don't think I've ever heard that before. If that's so," he sipped at his drink, plopping down in the chair opposite where I'd positioned myself, "what are men made of?"

"This part I've never understood but according to the rhyme boys are made of snakes and snails and puppy dog's tails."

"That's disturbing." He frowned into his glass before chucking its contents into the back of his throat.

I nodded, "Yeah, like I said, I've never understood why they chose those particular items."

A few minutes passed, during which he refilled both of our glasses, and we each sipped at it. He was obviously trying to figure out a way of engaging in small talk while I let him flounder—I'm not a very nice person all the time. When it was obvious he would never come to the point of why he asked me over I took the bull by the horns and spoke up.

"Why'd you want me to come here?" I raised an eyebrow at his feigned look of confusion. "Don't give me 'social call' or anything like that. I know you're bothered by something that probably involves me, so why don't you just come out with it and save us both the torture of idle conversation."

Kirk didn't say anything for a moment before he signed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Before Spock had his little, thing, he came to me about a matter involving you. He felt that it was important to discuss, especially considering the most recent situation we've all gone through."

I felt my stomach churn, the contents already threatening to return topside. I could only imagine what sort of mischief that hobgoblin had caused in Kirk's topsy-turvy mind.

"And what matter is that?" I raised my eyebrows, feigning cool and collected.

"First he asked if you'd been completely forthright with me as to your personal history."

I glared, "Of course I've held stuff back. But I'd like to say I'm operating on a sort of prime directive. Just because something occurred in the other 'verse doesn't mean it will in this one. Haven't you lot already established that from as far back as the first sighting of the _Nareda_ that this timeline has been altered?" I continued on before Kirk could reply. "My personal history will not jeopardize anyone or anything. With that in mind, why don't we just leave it? Everyone is tired, over-worked, and emotional right now. I really don't think now is the time to-" I went to stand up but was surprised when Kirk reached out and touched my shoulder, ceasing my words and movements.

"Spock said that it is precisely because of the most recent events that he believed your complete honesty would be beneficial to both yourself and me."

I immediately remembered when Spock overheard me talking about Caiden, my initial concerns over whether or not he'd heard everything I'd said or if he'd come to his own conclusions. Well, this was proof that my concerns were not so far-fetched. Apparently Spock felt that this Kirk should know that my offspring was genetically linked to him. How was that supposed to induce a change of behavior in a man who was nothing like my son's father save DNA?

"I understand why he would say that to you, Kirk, but-"

"Jim."

I raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"Please, when we're not on the bridge or in front of others, just call me Jim. I'd like to think that we're close enough friends to warrant first name basis by now."

I mentally began laughing like a mad woman. Oh, if he only knew! "Okay, Jim, I understand why Spock would tip you off on this goose chase. He probably noticed, as have I, that you're drinking has increased in both quantity and frequency. He is most likely worried that this relatively risky habit will jeopardize your ability to act as captain."

I just drink enough to take the edge off. I've been able to perform perfectly fine on the bridge." He frowned. "At least I haven't heard any complaints."

"You wouldn't, because you are behaving much like the rest of the crew. You are engaging in what is described as a 'defense mechanism' in response to the past crisis. That is precisely why Spock wants me to tell you what I feel you don't need to know."

Kirk raked a hand through his hair, staring down at the empty glass in his hands. After a moment of deliberation he set it down on his desk, leaning forward to brace his elbows on his knees. He stared at the floor for a good while, probably wishing it'd swallow him, before he looked up at me, his eyes tired and tortured—he looked like I felt.

"I trust Spock, Brenna, even after all that's happened," he was most likely referring to Spock marooning him, "I know he has the best interests of the crew and me in mind. If he feels that whatever you're holding back would somehow help me, and you, cope with the hell we've been through then I'm going to go on my gut instinct, which is to trust his judgment."

I weighed my options. I could tell him everything and have him doubt my sanity, or his very life—as the others had in the other reality. I could just tell him about Caiden and reap the consequences of that. Or…I could feign another fainting spell and postpone the whole thing in hopes that another emergency arrived and everyone would be too distracted to even think to ask me about my son. In the end I figured I should at least tell him about Caiden—Spock's logic and Jim's plea had gotten to me—and hope that he wouldn't prod me for more details later.

"Well, to be quite frank, he is talking about the fact that my son Caiden is the son of-" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, "He is James Tiberius Kirk's son."


	28. Out of the frying pan

"Um," Kirk sputtered, "What did you say?"

I lowered my head, heaving a deep sigh. "Caiden is the son of James T. Kirk, captain of the starship Enterprise. He was conceived almost eight years ago."

Silence that crickets could be heard in—if they existed in space—followed.

"You mean to tell me that that kid I saw," Kirk waved his hand in the air, "He is," He looked like he was gasping for air and clarity, "he is-"

"Yes, he is James' son." I nodded in the face of Kirk's frantic motions. "But he isn't your son, if that makes sense. Technically speaking, from a genetic standpoint, he is your son. But in every other way he is not your son. There is no emotional connection or recognition between the two of you."

"How?" Kirk still seemed too stumped to form complex sentences. "I mean, why?"

"Well the how should be pretty obvious. As to the why," I ran a hand through my hair, "well that is a bit personal. People were different in that other reality, I was different, and younger, and so I don't see why it should be explained."

Kirk looked like a nauseated fish out of water, "Spock thought I needed to know this? That you had a fling with me…er…my counterpart and had a kid?"

I let that comment fall in the air like a rock into water. I felt my eyes water when images and ghost touches came back to haunt me and I tried to push past them. "I was there long enough and things just pushed us together and," I looked down at the table again, unwilling to meet his gaze, "okay seriously I don't see why I should discuss my personal attachment to James. The fact of the matter is that obviously I felt close enough to him to be intimate with him before I was taken away and I managed to get pregnant. Now I have a son, by James." I rubbed at my eyes in a quick manner, hoping he didn't notice the moisture I'd wiped away.

Kirk merely stared at me with a blank expression before he spoke again, "Does Caiden know who his father is?"

I nibbled my lip again. "Yes and no."

"Care to elaborate." Kirk got up to get another drink; clearly this wasn't the positive reinforcement Spock had been hoping for.

"Well he knows his father is a starship captain, that we cared for one another, and that it would never have worked out between the two of us due to the nature of my work with Q, as well as the nature of his father's work." I smiled. "Caiden is a bright kid. Maybe Q's managed to grant him the ability to understand and accept things better than even his own mother can. In any case, Caiden, as far as I know, is not aware of the fact that there are two men with the same DNA, with the same name and career, existing. Unless Q told him, which I wouldn't put it past Q to cause drama like that. Caiden has not made the connection between you here and the James I was involved with."

"It's James eh?" I heard Kirk mutter into his glass.

Before I could comment on this, he finally voiced more than a simple sentence, "And I thought that mind meld gave me a headache!" He pushed away from the table and took to pacing, his drink forgotten. "So let me get this all straight, and forgive me if I seem a little slow, I just found out that I'm father."

"Well actually you aren't the father, but continue."

Kirk nodded and raked a hand through his hair, causing it to spike up haphazardly. "In any case, you got pregnant by my counterpart in the other reality. Did I know about it, in the other reality I mean?"

"No," I shook my head, "Q took me almost immediately after you and I were…intimate."

"Right." Kirk nodded then went back to pacing. "So in any case my counterpart makes a kid with you. You are whisked away by this Q, raise the kid with Q's help, and now you're here and, as far as I can tell, sometimes your son comes to visit you."

"Yes."

Kirk sat down again, "So where do I fit in?"

"I don't expect you to suddenly feel the responsibility of a father, or feel inclined to act like one, especially to a son you didn't even have a hand at creating. You are as much a stranger to Caiden as Caiden is to you. That is why I didn't think it was necessary to tell any of you the truth about him."

"So were you ever going to tell us?" His voice was strained, I couldn't tell from what emotion though.

I grimaced, "If it appeared to be relevant information then maybe I would have."

"Well, you already mentioned that I probably wouldn't feel inclined to act fatherly towards a kid I had no part in making. Neither would it be logical for me to suddenly feel like a responsible father."

I frowned, "What are you getting at Kirk?"

"What I'm getting at is why in the hell did Spock feel it was necessary to tell me about a kid who is genetically my son but emotionally is not?" His voice was near shouting level by the end of his question.

I felt my own anger rise in response, "He must've felt that it would push you to act more like a captain and less like a sulking two year old. Hence the 'positive reinforcement' crap most counselors prattle on about!"

Kirk growled back at me, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, dear Jim, that you are not setting a good example by drinking away every night and walking around in your own bubble of misery."

Kirk scoffed, "And you're one to make judgment calls about bubbles of misery and drinking?"

"Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean? I only ever drink when I'm around you, Christine, or Mac, and even then I never get drunk like the rest of you." I rubbed at my temples before I spoke again. "He is right when he says that you should be the first to get out of your bubble of misery and force the others to do so. As captain you should already be well aware of the fact that your crew looks to you for guidance in behavior and morale. If all you're doing is wallowing in your own misery then they will continue to do so also."

"So having my kid gives you the right to talk to me like this?"

I stood up and slammed my fist onto the table, causing his glass to bounce then roll off onto the floor, "You know, I tried to keep this to myself. I knew this would only cause problems but no! Spock just had to go and open his mouth and you just had to go and trust his judgment. I knew this would only make us all feel awkward and doubtful and just even more like hell."

"So if you knew all that then why did you let me go on and on about trust and shit like that?"

"I don't know!" I nearly screamed. "I don't know a lot of things okay? I don't belong here and yet I'm here. I could be taken away from here at any time but I have to do what I can to act normal, and sane while I am here. But seriously, why should I be blamed here? Why should any of you pass judgment or be angry with me? That was another time and REALITY. Those were different people. Sure they have the same genetic makeup that you do but still they were completely different. Why should you punish me for how I felt then? Things are different now. You are all different."

He was silent in reply, and I got the feeling that he didn't really know what to say, or do, at the moment. With shoulders slumped in defeat, I took my seat again. Where were we all going to go from here I sure the hell didn't know; our situation was about as certain as my presence here.

After a few moments I spoke, "I don't expect you to act like a father to Caiden, nor do I expect you to use the fact that a genetic offspring is running around the universe to act as positive reinforcement to prompt you to pull yourself out of this slump that you're in." I growled through clenched teeth. "I do, however, expect you to start acting like a captain and less like a child, with or without Caiden's existence as a motivator. This crew depends upon you to act maturely."

Kirk growled, "You are borderline insubordinate Lieutenant."

"I'm not even Starfleet personnel so how the hell can I be insubordinate?" I yelled across the table.

Again silence so thick crickets could yell in followed my outburst. Damn! I'd just given away more information than I'd meant to. I knew there would be hell to pay for that comment, if he caught its full meaning. I was saved, perhaps, when the door chimed and almost immediately Mac walked in. Out of the frying pan and into the fire indeed.

"I don't mean to interrupt this lovely conversation, but we could hear you two decks below." His face looked weathered and beaten, his eyes reflecting the weariness. "So, what in the hell are you two arguing about anyway?"

Before I could stop him, if I'd wanted to but at this point I was too tired to fight anymore, Kirk spoke up, "Apparently Spock felt it was important that I should know about my son."

"Your what?" Mac helped himself to a drink, purposefully not looking at me or coming near me as he did so. "Spock's in his quarters right now; I don't see how he's involved in this spat."

Kirk bent over and picked up the glass I'd forgotten about and slammed it onto the table between us. I jumped at the sound and looked over to see Mac frowning even more. He watched the tension flowing between us for a moment longer before he heaved a heavy sigh and sat in the chair beside me.

"Brenna is the mother of my son; a son I didn't even know existed up until about ten minutes ago. Spock felt like playing mother hen and insisted that if I knew about him then I'd stop acting like, what did you call me Brenna, a child who is wallowing in his own misery?"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mac's fingers tighten around the glass, "I thought you were brought here by that Q creature?"

"I was. The son, Jim is so happily claiming is actually only his in genetics. It was in the other reality, eight years ago if I need remind you, and it was with his very different and older counterpart."

Before any of us could carry on the conversation, however, the door chimed again and this time Spock waltzed in as if he'd known we were talking about him.

"Speak of the devil…" I murmured under my breath, a migraine fierce and ugly beginning to rear its head.

"Did you really think that if I knew about my son that I'd magically be a different type of captain?" Kirk reared his anger on Spock.

I pitied Spock, only slightly, when a look of confusion crossed his face. It took only a matter of moments for Kirk to spew out his anger and frustration on Spock for the newcomer(s) to fully comprehend all that Kirk and I had said prior to their individual arrivals. In the time it took for Kirk to berate and argue with Spock I turned my eyes towards Mac. At first he refused to look at me but finally, when I thought he'd never look up, his eyes met mine and I felt a jolt of pain echo in my heart.

And, as it happens so often in times of trouble, the very last person I wanted to see decided to pop in for a visit.

"Well, well," Q smiled from where he leaned against the wall, "Looks like things just got a little more interesting."


	29. All consuming fire

It took a moment for all of us to realize that Q was actually standing there and was not merely a figment of my imagination. Almost immediately Spock and Kirk stood up and faced him, ready to attack. Q merely watched their movements with an almost bored look on his face. Mac continued to sit at the table, though he observed Q with open hostility.

Spock spoke first, "You are the being that has managed to transport Lieutenant Jones from one reality to another."

Q giggled and looked at me, "I love how Vulcans have an uncanny knack for stating the obvious." He looked back to Spock and nodded, "You may call me Q."

"I demand to know what the hell is going on here." Kirk approached the minion.

Q chuckled, "You are in no position to demand anything."

Kirk immediately grunted and started questioning Q further, with Spock also speaking up with questions of his own. I barely heard them demand answers from the enigmatic creature. As they "spoke" together, I looked back across the table at the equally enigmatic man sitting there. I tried to silently implore him to look at me but he again refused to do so. How was I supposed to know what he felt about all this if he wouldn't look at me? I was hurting here too, didn't he realize that? I sighed and looked down at my lap.

After a few moments of playing around with Kirk and Spock, Q disappeared and reappeared right beside me, leaning against the table to face me. "You know, sometimes I wonder why I even picked you for this." He was eying his cuticles in a bored fashion. "You seem to enjoy peace and quiet a bit too much for my taste."

"You call this mess peaceful?" I gestured to the fuming Kirk, the scowling Mac, and the eyebrow raising Spock. "First I'm caught and tortured, then part of our crew is abducted, then we have to rescue the remainder of our crew from a war zone, and finally Spock has a pon farr melt down. Where does peace and quiet fit in there?"

Q sighed, "Oh you know what I mean. You aren't playing the game, Brenna, and you know how much I like the game."

I sighed, "What are you getting at Q?"

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just change everything back to what it should be if you had never even gone into the other reality to begin with?" His face had hardened into an expression I'd seldom seen him use against me.

I felt my gut tighten. Kirk and Spock both stepped towards the table and even Mac stiffened. I couldn't speak at first; Q'd done what he was oh so good at and struck me dumb.

"W-what do you mean?" My throat was almost too tight to speak.

Q leaned down close and pushed the hair out of my face as he spoke, "I mean, tell me Brenna, why I should keep you here, among these people; why I should allow you to keep your son; why I should allow you to keep your memories of the other Enterprise?" He suddenly patted my head as he sat up straight again. "You are boring me, Brenna, with your efforts to stay out of trouble. So give me a good reason why I should keep you here."

My hands tightened into fists and my blood ran cold. Would he really do that? I looked up at his heartless eyes and suddenly couldn't breathe. Yes, he most certainly would do just that. He would erase the last eight years of my life in the blink of an eye. He would erase my son's existence. He would take from me the precious memories I'd made over the years. The creature before me was not human nor was he humane—at least not usually. He was a merciless creature that could be benevolent and oh so cruel at the same time.

Q sighed in response to my silence and snapped his fingers. Suddenly the ship lurched and the lights failed, casting us into the eerie red glow of the emergency lights. Kirk and Spock immediately resumed their official roles and left the room to find out what happened. Only Mac remained, still sitting quietly, watching and waiting. Q leaned closer after the ship momentarily settled into a constant thrum instead of lurching about.

"This is your last chance Brenna." He kissed my forehead. "I suggest you not screw it up."

With that he disappeared and I was left in the room with a glowering Mac. The initial panic I'd felt from Q's threat welled up inside me and I had to push back from the table and bend over with my head between my knees. I loosened my fists and took a deep breath in my efforts to regain some semblance of control again. I had to focus on the present and not on the "could-be's" that Q proposed. If I kept my head about me then I could keep my son and my memories.

"That's what you've had to put up with for the past eight years?"

I looked over at Mac, eying his features in the red glow of the lights. This lighting made him look even more haggard than before. He looked as if he hadn't slept in days, let alone shaved. At the thought of sleep I tipped my head to the side and eyed him more closely. Had he been the one sleeping beside me? He usually drank mint juleps after all. Before I could go further with my thought his eyes narrowed as he looked at me and I realized I hadn't answered.

"He isn't always like that. That's only the third time he's given me an ultimatum similar that, though this one is most definitely the strongest one yet." I laid a hand against my heart and took another calming breath. "In any case you should prepare yourself for whatever we see and encounter out there. Since this is my last chance, I'm sure Q has done quite a smashing job at conjuring up all sorts of dramatic and rather epic happenings for us to go through."

He nodded. I saw him pressing his hands together into a big fist. I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking but the stubborn man kept me shut out quite effectively. Mac stood up and turned towards the door but stopped just shy of it. I'm sure he was tempted to walk out on me, in every sense, and I couldn't blame him. Any sort of relationship with me would likely cause great amounts of frustration and drama. I saw his shoulders slump before he turned to face me again. I stood up at the look in his eyes but refrained from stepping towards him. If I touched him now I wouldn't be able to concentrate.

"What did he mean when he said before he put you in the other reality?" He stepped forward, "What did you mean when you said you were not Starfleet personnel?" Apparently he'd heard that last remark prior to his entrance.

I sighed, "Is now the best time for that lengthy explanation?" As if to punctuate my question the ship lurched slightly again and we both had to grab the edge of the table to maintain our balance.

Mac nodded and looked down before taking a deep breath and breathing out the question that'd been haunting him all this time. "You loved him didn't you?"

At his words I stiffened and swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat. As the tears welled up in my eyes, I could only nod and drop my gaze to the floor.

"Did he love you?"

I nodded again, wiping at my moist eyes.

"Where do I stand then?"

I looked up quickly and found him standing just a foot from me. The intensity of his gaze caused my breath to catch in my throat.

"Huh?" Why is it that only in grave moments like this, I come up with such graceful replies?

"I can't help but wonder where I fit in this picture. You loved Jim in the other reality, you have his child, but you are now in this reality." He inched forward again and now I could feel the heat from his body. "What am I to you?"

My stomach tightened and again I felt my heart twist. I could see his heart on his sleeve as he stood vulnerable before me. It amazed me that with mere words I could either build this man up or utterly destroy him. I had that power. Which would it be though? What was he to me? What were my feelings for him? Did I even know what I felt towards him beyond physical attraction?

"Where do you want to stand with me?" I asked, also inching forward until with each breath our chests brushed against one another.

"I don't know Brenna, but I do know that I want to know what I am to you, right now, right here."

I looked down for a moment, "Do I have to say it in words?"

He frowned as he began to cross his arms across his chest, "Well if you can't say it then obviously-"

I cut him off by quickly wrapping my arms around his neck and sealing my lips against his. It wasn't a lustful kiss, I just wanted him to know that yes I wanted him, as a man and a lover, but I also wanted him to know that I was still unsure about anything more than that. How could I allow myself to love again anyway? This wasn't a permanent situation; I could be snatched from him at any time, according to Q's whims. With that in mind did I really want to risk my heart again?

I pulled back and looked into Mac's eyes, greatly hoping that he understood what I meant without me having to put it all into complicated words. He merely stared back for a moment before his features softened and his arms came up around me and cradled me against his chest. I breathed in the familiar scent of mint and bourbon and smiled. Yes, he was the one.

"I think I understand Brenna." He whispered into my hair as we clung to each other. "I guess I'll have to be satisfied with this no-guarantee relationship as it is." I closed my eyes against the pain his cynical comment caused in my heart. "But I want you to know," he pulled back and buried his hands in my hair, "that if there was even a chance for a guarantee, I would pursue this relationship its outermost limits."

He meant that comment with every fiber of his being and I smiled. If given the chance I knew I could love this man as much as I'd loved Jim. The love would be different, they were different men after all, but I could develop a strong love for the man holding me. That fact was both terrifying and comforting.

Before either the terror or complete comfort could settle in, the ship lurched again and the alarm blared, if possible, even louder. Mac pulled away and tried to hail the bridge. No one answered. He growled before turning towards the door. Then he stopped and held his hand out towards me. Without hesitating, I placed my hand in his and together we stepped through the door.

The first thing I noticed once in the hallway was a faint screeching noise that rippled through the corridor coming from our right. Mac paused for a moment as some crew members rushed past; carrying with them what looked like replacement circuitry and other such items. I noticed an acrid smell in the slightly hazy air and looked around to see if there were any signs of fire. Instead, I only noticed broken tubes that now leaked pressurized steam. Mac tugged on my hand then and I quickly followed him off to the left, trying my best to stay right behind him as he hurried down the corridor towards sickbay.

"What the hell-" Mac bent down and began to examine an injured female who lay prone in the corridor.

She was unconscious and seemed to be suffering more from internal injuries. As he took stock of her injuries I again looked around. The crew continued to rush, the ship continued to shudder, the alarms continued to blare, and the air continued to grow hazier and hazier. Whatever was going on it was getting worse.

"Here comes another one!" Someone suddenly yelled above the din.

I turned and watched as crew-members scrambled to get out of the main corridor. The screeching noise grew louder and my breath caught in my throat. In my old life, whenever I watched movies where the hero or heroine seemed to stand dumbly and watch as the creature or natural disaster that would kill them came closer, I would yell at them to move or snap out of it. I'm sure if anyone was watching me they would be screaming at me to move because I could only stand there and watch as some sort of wave of energy, invisible yet visible, came rolling down the corridor, destroying conduits and circuitry in its wake. One crew member wasn't fast enough and I watched in horror as he was overcome by the wave and promptly disappeared, but not before screaming in agony. The wave continued on until it passed the closest corridor to us, leaving us with only one route of escape.

"Let's go!" Mac yelled into my ear.

I shook my head to clear it and quickly followed him, doing my best to help him as he struggled to hold the female in his arms. As we ran I noticed that most likely a similar wave had already been through this corridor and that was what the crew members had been trying to repair when we'd emerged. Overhead there were dangling wires that sparked as they waved back and forth, making it even more difficult as we tried to run and dodge at the same time. There were also broken panels scattered across the floor, making it exceedingly difficult to not trip as we continued to run.

"Hurry!"

I saw aside corridor approaching, where other crewmembers had already taken refuge. They were yelling encouragement to us as we approached. We were almost there. Of course, it is always when safety is in sight that all hell breaks loose. Just as we were about to reach the corridor, a loose panel fell and cracked me across the shoulders and back. I crumpled to the ground, yelling in pain. The panel was heavy and I knew without having to check that there was no way I could shake this thing off me, and neither would Mac be able to pull it off by himself.

"Brenna!" Mac immediately bent down and began to push at the panel. "You there! Come help me! Get her to safety!" One other shaky crewman rushed forward and dragged the unconscious female out of harm's way before quickly returning to help Mac with the panel.

There was just enough room between my pinned body and the floor for me to glance under to see the approaching wave. I estimated that we had at least thirty seconds before it reached us, and I usually underestimate with numbers. It is a weird sensation, being able to see death coming at you. They say you see your life flash before your eyes in those last moments. Mine didn't. All I could think about was how thankful I was that Caiden was safe and I knew that there wasn't a chance I would get out in time and I wasn't about to let Mac sacrifice himself for me.

"Mac, get the hell out of here!" I used the arm that wasn't pinned to push at his body.

"No!" He continued to pull at the panel, cutting his hands on the sharp edges.

I looked at the other crewman, begging him without words to help me. The man seemed to understand because in the next instant he seized Mac by the shoulders and pulled the frantic doctor back to safety. I heard Mac cursing us both, struggling against the hold of at least three crew members once he was in the corridor. He managed to poke his head out into the corridor and I made eye contact with him. Even though I was scared to death I didn't want him to be haunted by the fear in my eyes in the years to come.

"Brenna!" He continued to curse those holding him, and me for pushing him away. "Brenna!"

I closed my eyes against the tears that had formed. I suddenly felt my feet burn with pain as the wave finally found me. Even as tears continued to cloud my eyes I smiled at Mac, willing him to survive this. The last thing I heard before the fire fully consumed me was my name screamed on his lips.


	30. Webspeek after death

So I've gone and told the three men influential in my current life about my son. I've managed to kiss all of them and be fairly intimate with two of them. I basically confessed my love to one of them. Now I'm dead.

Wait, is there supposed to be 1950s-esque music after death? I'm not entirely certain; at least I never thought I'd hear it after I died. But that is exactly what I'm hearing right now. In fact, is that the Big Bopper that I'm hearing?

I moaned, not because I don't like the Big Bopper—believe me, I can sing all his songs—but more so because my head feels like it is about to explode and I swear there's a giant cotton ball in my mouth. After a quick check I knew that all my essential body parts were still attached, though they weren't exactly happy with the treatment they'd been put through. I also realized that most assuredly I was not dead, at least not the traditional sense.

"Here." I jerked when I felt something round and cool pressed into my hand. "Drink this and you'll feel better."

My eyes felt like they had lead weights attached to them so I didn't even bother opening them as I slowly, and painfully, brought the glass to my lips. I was thankful to find that it was merely water and not some poisonous, alien concoction—though if I'm dead what does it matter if it's poisonous or not? Finally, after allowing the cool liquid to settle in my churning stomach, I managed to pry my eyes open.

At first all I could make out were blurry shapes and shadows but then after much blinking and some more sips of water the world slowly came into focus. It appeared that I was outside, sitting at a picnic table. It was all very earthlike actually and even the weather appeared earth-ish; it was a sunny, breezy summer day—perfect picnic day actually. I noticed some humanoids a few yards away barbecuing something. That was where the music was coming from, they happened to have a juke box with them. I looked down and saw that I wore a dress reminiscent to a dress from the 1950's. I shook my head and finally brought my focus to the man sitting beside me. Then the world suddenly seemed to tip and I dropped the glass onto the table, promptly showering myself with a mixture of glass shards and water.

"Brenna!" warm hands reached out and immediately began to help me stand up, brushing away the glass and pieces of ice.

My legs were too weak to stand properly, probably as a result of whatever had happened to me earlier and because of the sight of the one who was holding me. I leaned heavily against him, allowing him to support most of my weight.

"You," I grasped at his arms, "you're dead."

I felt him chuckle through his chest as he continued to hold me tightly against him. He pulled me away from the table where I'd previously been slumped over. I allowed him to move me, not once fighting against his hold. I was still in too much shock to think or do much beyond what I was currently doing—letting him guide me,

Once he had me comfortably settled on a picnic blanket he sat beside me, again pulling me against his side. He didn't try to put his arm around me but he did continue to sit close by, obviously waiting for me to catch my bearings before he attempted anything further. Although I wanted to just relax against him and forget about everything else I knew I couldn't.

"And you're supposed to be a figment of my imagination." He finally commented dryly, watching the scene around him with wary eyes.

I shook my head as if to clear it, "What's going on," I gulped, willing myself to say his name, "James?"

James Tiberius Kirk, MY James T Kirk, sat beside me. He looked just as he had the night I'd left him all those years ago. Well almost the same. There was a firmness around his eyes that hadn't been there before and his body was a bit thicker, but nothing much beyond that had changed. I couldn't help but think that my disappearance had helped put that firmness in his eyes—but of course I was also sure that he'd had to go through some pretty impressive trials since my absence as well so I couldn't take all the credit.

I raised an eyebrow when I finally focused on his outfit. He was also wearing an outfit akin to something from the 1950's and his hair was slicked back much like they'd done in the 1950s. He looked for all intents and purposes as if he belonged there on the blanket sitting beside me, completely isolated from his ship and me from mine. However I knew that beneath the calm exterior I observed James was just as worried as I was.

"I don't know Brenna." He suddenly eyed me carefully, "Are you really Brenna?" He pinched my arm then yelped when I smacked his arm in response.

"I don't know are you really James?" I glared back at him, rubbing the offended piece of skin.

James sighed, "Let's just agree to set aside logic for a moment and believe that the other person is real and actually here. I think that will help us figure out what's going on a lot more quickly than if we continue to doubt the other person's presence."

"Makes sense to me." I shook my head. "Though sense doesn't seem to have much to do with anything in regards to me."

"You're coming to this conclusion now?" He teased, earning another swat, though he easily dodged it this time.

I allowed a moment of silence to creep up, during which time I took stock of my surroundings. Whoever was in charge of this allusion—if it was an allusion—certainly was detail oriented. Everything looked legitimately earth-like. It was peaceful yet eerie in its peacefulness. Everything seemed too perfect. Not really wanting to think about what lurked behind the peaceful façade I spoke up again.

"So what were you doing before you came here?"

Kirk picked up a blade of grass and began to twirl it between his fingertips as he spoke. "We were in route to a starbase for supplies when suddenly all throughout the ship there were reports of energy waves flowing through corridors, destroying circuits and making crewmen disappear."

"That's what happened to us too!" I exclaimed, wondering if perhaps he had been in the same section of space just in the other reality—I didn't know the coordinates so I'd be useless in finding out. "We were actually on our way to a planet to let off some refugees when the same thing happened to our ship."

He nodded before continuing, "I'd only been here a few hours before you suddenly appeared at the table. But before you came I'd managed to scout out the area a bit. There are no buildings around here and there are no other humans in the area except those people over there; however they didn't seem to understand me when I spoke to them. We seem to be somewhere that, to all our senses, appears to be Earth."

I nodded, "It is rather strange. I mean we are both wearing civilian clothing from the 20th century and those people over there look like they just stepped out of an old Rockwell poster. This isn't anything like when we were in each others bodies." And that had been the only "out-of-body" experience we'd managed to go through during my time aboard his Enterprise.

"Yes," he shuddered, "I certainly hope this isn't the same group of aliens. I'd rather not repeat that incident; it was a bit uncomfortable." He gave a slight smile then. "Though if it is the same group they can't possibly think we aren't getting along anymore. There's plenty of evidence contrary to that belief." He got a funny look in his eyes and quickly looked away before he continued again. "What were you doing before you got caught in the wave?"

"I was running along a corridor with Mac, trying to get away from one of the waves when suddenly a panel fell and pinned me to the ground. I convinced a crewman to drag Mac out of the way before the wave reached me. It felt like I was burning." I shook my head in order to push away the memory of Mac screaming my name. "Not the most pleasant of feelings."

"I felt the same thing, except I was on the bridge when it hit me. I don't remember if it got anyone else or not." He suddenly looked down at me, "You mentioned Mac? Where were you?" I knew he was referring more to what ship and time I was at than what corridor.

I looked down at my hands that I still held clasped in my lap. Should I tell him everything? Or were eight years enough time to build up a firm wall between us? How honest should I be with him? Taking a deep breath I reached out and took hold of one of his hands. Touching him made my heart constrict as memories of past touches collided with the present. He remained silent as I quickly pressed a kiss to the back of his hand before lowering his hand into my lap where I continued to hold it. He let me do this, never trying to pull back, but I could tell he was remaining cautious. I couldn't blame him. I didn't know where we were, why we were here, how we got here, how we were going to get out of here, or how long we had together. Should I begin telling him my history when neither of us knew when we'd be taken from here? I willed away the tears of frustration and worry before I spoke again.

"There is so much to tell you James that I don't even know where to start."

"You can start with telling me why you left." He didn't sound accusing but I could hear the pain in his voice. That pain mirrored my own and I had to look away.

"It wasn't my choice James. It was either me leave everyone or stay and have everyone die."

He used his free hand to cup my chin to turn my face towards his, "What do you mean?"

I peered into his eyes, seeing in them a willingness to forgive but a great hurt as well. I sighed, dropping my head, unable to look into his eyes. I waited until the warm sun had calmed the frantic pain in my chest before I poured out my story to him, unafraid to reveal the full truth to him. I told him about Q, I told him about my eight years of "service", I told him about arriving on the Enterprise in the alternate reality, I told him about everything; well everything except about Caiden and about my feelings towards Mac.

When I finished I felt as if I'd bled out all my heart except for the most painful parts. I didn't know how to tell him about Caiden, nor did I know if I should tell him about Mac. How do you tell the father of your child, your first true love, that you now love someone else, though in a different way? Not to make excuses for myself, but it had been over eight years, and Mac was in a different reality than James. But still, should I tell him about either Caiden or Mac?

"Wow." He sighed, his hand squeezing mine before he too pulled it up and placed a warm kiss onto the back of my hand. "Nothing seems to be simple with you."

I knew he was teasing, trying to lighten the mood. I smiled and leaned my head against his shoulder. We were both silent, watching as the sun began to dip down towards the horizon. We weren't worried about shelter; apparently there was a tent beside the picnic table that appeared to be ours. Neither were we worried about food, the people from earlier had brought over a large portion of their food and place it on our table, showering us with smiles before returning to their own camp. Again everything seemed too easy and far too perfect for complete comfort.

"There's something you aren't telling me isn't there."

I stiffened against him. Of course he would know that. We had shared a connection I'd never shared with anyone before, not even with my ex-fiancé. I should've known he'd pick up on that

"I don't know if I should tell you."

He sighed, "What will it hurt? We don't know why we're here, how long we'll be here, or if we'll ever see each other again after this if we do find a way out."

He did have good points there. However, I paused before purposefully changing the subject.

"Is that why you haven't tried harder to find a way out of here yet?"

I knew he was smiling then, "Why? You think I'm stalling the inevitable escape merely because I'm reunited with you?"

I pulled away and looked into his smiling face. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

"Yes, that is why." He looked forward again, his face again falling into that firmness I'd seen before. "The same amount of time has passed for us too, back on our Enterprise. I've gone from thinking that you were just a dream to knowing you were real but wondering why you'd leave me. So much has happened for me also, Brenna. I'm not the same man that you knew." He lowered his head and closed his eyes. "And I know you're not the same woman either. However, sitting here, holding you, makes me feel that I can be that man again, and all those years without you seem to dim a bit, at least for now."

Warmth trickled down my face as I listened to him. The tears I'd been trying to hold back were now freely trailing down my cheeks and falling onto my dress. I lifted his head and softly pressed my lips against his. The kiss tasted salty from my tears and yet sweet. After a moment of hesitation, he pulled me into his lap and enveloped me into his embrace. Our breaths mingling, we held onto each other even as the sun finally disappeared from the sky.

"Brenna." He breathed my name and I shivered at the sound. "I don't think we should-"

I silenced him with a soft kiss before pulling back to smile, "I know James. But let's just hold each other okay? We have both changed but I know what you mean when you said you felt that the time slips away when holding me. I know we can't escape reality James, but just for tonight, can we hold each other?"

He was quiet as he stared at me for a moment, his face lit with the light of the moon and stars—both had risen quite rapidly making me wonder if perhaps time passed more quickly wherever we were. James smoothed my hair away from my face then nodded, pressing feather light kisses on my forehead and eyelids.

"I'd be happy to hold you." He helped me stand up before he too stood up. "Tomorrow we'll begin looking for a way out of here."

I nodded, following him into the tent and then laying down beside him, safely surrounded by his warm arms.

For the first time in a LONG time I slept completely at peace, and I had no dreams. I know some people like to dream but I find them to be a nuisance—especially when they're usually odd or just disturbing at best. But the night was dreamless. One minute I was soaking up the feeling of falling asleep in James' arms and the next I'm soaking up the feeling of waking up in his arms. I couldn't help but smile, in spite of the circumstances we were under. I was cuddled against James, his warmth seeping deep into my bones. I felt safe and secure; whole. It was a feeling I hadn't felt fully ever since I'd left him. Only for fleeting moments had I managed to feel that way with Mac, but of course I hadn't had the time yet to develop something further with him—not that I wasn't interested in doing so of course.

I sighed. It was odd being able to think about Mac and retain my feelings for him while I was currently being held but James. What does that say about me? Am I horrible person for loving two men at the same time? And where does Caiden fit in? Do I want James to know about his son even though the likelihood of him ever being able to interact with him was slim to none? If there was a chance—though it was unlikely—for James to know his son would I want Caiden to go through that sort of ordeal, all the time knowing that they could only be together for a few moments? And where did Mac fit in with regards to Caiden? If I was going to stay onboard the new Enterprise for some time, did I want Mac to get to know Caiden? Did I want them to be friends while Mac and I pursued something deeper than friendship? Did I even want to risk developing a stronger relationship with Mac, especially in light of having met James again?

My head began to hurt and I closed my eyes. Of course all these near unanswerable questions were flying around and were all pointless to answer unless we figured out a way to get out of here…wherever "here" was. I raised a hand and pressed my fingers against the bridge of my nose. Sometimes I wish I was a man; they think of one thing at a time instead of having minds that operated like those annoying pop-up ads on a computer. Women can only think of one thing for like .25 seconds before another pop-up comes along and then finally twenty different pop-ups are "on screen" and nothing gets accomplished. Damn…my headache is worse now.

"I can feel you thinking Brenna." I felt James breathe against my neck, "It's too early in the morning to think." He pressed cool fingers against my temples and gently applied pressure. "What can you possibly be fretting over so early in the morning?"

I chuckled, "What can I NOT be fretting about is a more likely question. You know me James; I fret over just about everything."

"Yes," he leaned forward and kissed my cheek, "but that's the beauty of having me here now. You don't need to fret so much because we'll get through this together."

I smiled, rolling over and kissing him softly before pulling back to watch the grogginess fade from his features. He was devilishly handsome, and I know I'm quite biased. Even though the young Kirk back on the Enterprise was handsome, in a devil-may-care way, this James, MY James, had an "air" about him that drew me in like a fly to honey.

He smiled back at me, smoothing the hair out of my face. "What are you thinking?"

"That you look handsome in the morning even with unruly hair." To emphasize my point I tried to smooth down some of said unruly hair but with no success.

James shook his head, seemingly content in allowing me to continue playing with his hair, "I doubt you've gotten a headache by reflecting upon my stunning good looks."

"That's true," I tipped my head to the side and pretended to be giving it serious thought, "I have seen better."

He rolled over and pinned me, his face alight with mischief as he proceeded to tickle me until I could no longer breathe. It had been years since anyone had even attempted to tickle me and so I basically began convulsing with laughter, near drooling whenever I attempted to gasp in air. So yeah I don't look very graceful or pretty when I'm being tickled to death—that fact has now been noted.

"Okay!" I cried for mercy, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Please let me breathe!"

James continued to laugh as he rolled onto his back and allowed me some breathing room. We both lay there staring up at the tent's ceiling, gathering our thoughts and breath, neither one of us really wanting to face the issue at hand.

"We need to figure out a way out of here." I spoke up first, my words falling like sobering ice between us.

He pulled me back beside him before he spoke again, "I know."

I shut my eyes and snuggled closer, "We both have responsibilities to return to."

I felt him sigh, "I know."

I waited a moment, figuring now was as good a time as ever, "His name is Caiden."

"I know." I felt him stiffen. "Wait, who?"

I didn't pull back but continued to lay against his chest with my eyes closed, willing him to remain calm so I could explain. "Your son's name is Caiden."

I could hear his heart pound faster and his chest began to rise and fall more rapidly. At least he hadn't spontaneously combusted…yet. He remained quiet, stiff, for a few moments longer. In that time I quickly went over the different ways I could explain myself to him, but figured "winging" it would be best. I couldn't anticipate every question he'd ask so it'd be better to just go with it.

"That's what you didn't tell me earlier?" He finally asked.

I nodded, "I'm sure you can guess when it happened."

James was quiet, probably recalling images of our first and last night together. I idly wondered if he lamented not having been with me sooner than just that one night—not that we'd ever really had a chance or complete desire to be together before that night. It was tragic that the one night we were together we created a life, but a life that thus far he'd had to miss out on.

"Does he know about me?"

I sighed and shook my head, "He knows you're a starship captain but he doesn't know your name. I never found the right way to explain it to him."

"In the eight years you've been a mother you never could find the right way to tell him about his father?" I heard the pain in his voice and I felt him drawing away from me.

I began to wave an arm in the air as I spoke rapidly, "How was I supposed to explain everything to him? He's only eight, and while he is very bright, I don't know if he would understand all the complexities that are involved with our relationship. I figured I'd tell him everything once he was older and could understand better. He has never expressed resentment towards you for not being there, nor has he pressed me to reveal more about you. He has always been a very perceptive child, maybe Q has something to do with that. But I haven't NOT told him out of spite for you, it just never seemed the right time or place. I haven't just been sitting around procrastinating. Q has had me bouncing from one place to another near non-stop these past years."

James didn't respond right away and I inwardly sighed. In light of the current situation this was going a lot better than I'd anticipated.

"Where is he now? Is he aboard the other Enterprise?" suddenly he was very stiff. "Is my counterpart taking care of him?"

I sat up and looked down at him, "Q takes care of him usually, or he drops him off with my brother or Patricia and James to look after him."

"So he sees this Q as his father then?" James still looked like a victim, though an angry victim.

"Heavens no!" I vehemently shook my head. "He sees him as an uncle, I've explained that to him often enough and Q has never tried to convince him otherwise."

"What sort of life does he have? From what I've gathered you aren't with him very often and so he is mostly left with one of the most selfish and careless creatures in the universe, or is left with a dangerous compulsive liar who stabbed you! You think he's learning good character skills from either Q or Patricia?" Jim had also sat up and was now glaring at me, as if he had a right to—and I guess in a way as Caiden's father he did but I was still frustrated so I didn't exactly want to admit that he had this right.

"I've done what I can to be both father and mother to him. It isn't like you could've been there for him."

James scowled and I knew that my words had hurt him more than I'd meant them to. Damn! This was no time to let anger at our lots in life to come between us. There was no reason for us to get so angry at one another for things we had no control over. I took a few steadying breaths before I continued. In my head I chanted, "recalculating" until I could speak again without wanting to growl.

"James, I would prefer to have him with me at all times and to live a normal life, with you." I reached out and gently touched his shoulder, willing him not to pull away from me. "However Q has prevented this, for whatever reason. Maybe if I 'please' him enough Q will allow me to return to you, but even if that did happen, you would still be serving aboard the Enterprise and where would that leave me and Caiden?" He frowned as I continued, "Neither of us truly belongs in your universe, or the universe I've been in recently, or the others that I've been in before that. If I was with you what sort of job would I get and what sort of school would Caiden fit into? We don't have identity cards and how could we apply for them when we can't explain our presence there? It seems that he and I are doomed to remain as 'gypsies' living at the whims of Q. I am loathed to say this but we are, for all intents and purposes, at the mercy of Q."

James was silent for a long time after that, my words falling heavily between us. My life seemed so complicated. What hope was there for true happiness and any sense of normalcy? People often complain about the humdrumness of their lives and they never stop to think about how blessed they are to be able to have an identity, to have a home, to have certain guarantees about their lives. Here I am, living in limbo from day-to-day, unable to provide my son with the childhood he deserves. What can I do to solve this mess though? What solution was there?

"I'm sorry Brenna." He finally spoke, interrupting my racing thoughts. "I never should have accused you of being unable to raise our son. You've done the best you know how, given the circumstances you're in." He held up his arms and after a moment I scooted into them. "I just wish I could know him."

"Oh I wish that too James." I hugged him tighter. "You don't know how many times I've dreamt of us altogether."

He nodded, "I'm sure I'll be dreaming those dreams from now on also." He held me for a few moments longer before he finally pulled back. "But in order for you to see Caiden again and for me to return to being a captain that he can be proud of we need to find a way out of here."

"Yes." I sighed. "I don't even know where to begin though. You've already looked around for any clues. We don't even know who or what really brought us here or where here is."

James stood, speaking as he dressed, "Well we can always try talking to those people again, or maybe you can talk to them or something. If that doesn't pan out then we can just continue exploring the surrounding area. Maybe this is just another test of some sorts from know-it-all aliens."

I chuckled at the memory of being stuck in his body. "Well at least we don't have to show our affection for each other this time around."

He suddenly bent down and gave me a sound kiss that made my head spin. When he pulled back I could see his feelings for me honestly displayed on his face. "I wouldn't mind showing them a few more times how much you mean to me."

"Yeah." I smiled as I too stood and set about getting dressed. "I don't think that'd be too much of a hardship for me either."

Once we were both dressed, we joined hands and stepped outside. Everything appeared as it had the previous day, complete with the same Big Bopper music, until suddenly the sky went dark and world began to lurch as the ground began to ripple like water. While this was alarming, what truly made me feel at ill ease was looking over and seeing the humanoids from the previous day going on about their lives as if nothing was happening while James and I were thrown to the ground and had to roll away to avoid getting crushed by a falling tree.

I looked back towards the humanoids just in time to see them flicker then blink out, as if they'd been holograms. Damn! Was this whole place a holographic environment? I turned towards James but found that he too began to flicker. He looked down at himself then back up at me, horror mixed with confusion in his eyes.

"James!" I screamed when suddenly I lost my grip on his hand and was tossed a few yards away from him.

He stood and tried to run over towards me but was thrown to the ground when yet another rolling wave came between us. I looked up and saw the sky blacken with rainclouds. The hair on my arms raised and I grimaced; there was going to be a lightning storm from hell in just moments. I looked over to find James but only found nothing. I was alone in this lightning stricken, ground lurching world.

I managed to get to my feet and ran towards the wooden shelter, falling on my face numerous times as I did so. I was correct about the lightening, it began to strike the surrounding area, sometimes so close I could smell the burning ground it left behind. Once I made it to the shelter I grabbed hold of one of the pillars for support only to feel it wobble and crack beneath my hands. When I glanced I found that the ceiling of the shelter was covered in what looked like digital writing, like that of a http on a computer.

"What the hell?" I growled to myself before I was basically thrown out of the shelter by some unseen force.

I glanced back towards the shelter just in time to watch it crumple to the ground. If I'd remained under there mere seconds longer I would've been a pancake now. Having escaped a fate of pancake-hood I again struggled to my feet and looked around. There were areas around me where the ground had ripped completely open, venting out superheated air and allowing the red glow of hot magma to cast an eerie light on the darkened landscape around me. It was almost pitch-black. The wind was so strong that it was difficult remaining in one spot without being blown about. My skin felt like it was being stabbed with thousands of tiny needles, this of course was due to the driving rain. The thunder made my ears ring it was so loud, and my chest cavity almost continually vibrating from it as well. My stomach felt like it was in knots from the way I was pitched hither and there from the rippling ground. In all, I do believe I've managed to land myself in something akin to hell.

However, instead of growing afraid, as I should be by now given the fact that it appears that I'm on a world that is in the midst of breaking itself apart, I got mad. Angrier than I've felt in years. So angry in fact that I began to see red-and no I don't have magma in my eyes. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest.

I was tired of this! I have been bounced from one universe to another to another to another to…etc. Forgive me but I want roots! I want some kind of certainty! I am unable to provide a stable, "normal" home for my son. My son has had to grow up without a father, though said father is alive and well just in a different reality! I have been torn from Mac, probably causing even more emotional damage to the already frail man. I have been reunited with James only to have taken from me, again—if he'd ever been there at all to begin with. I have been tortured, shot, burned, forced to switch bodies, molested, and just all around hassled. In short, I am tired of this!

And so, in spite of the lightning strikes that were beginning to get closer and closer, in spite of the ground ripping apart and magma bubbling to the surface, in spite of the rain and thunder, I stood up to my full height. With great effort—of course great effort as the land is rippling like water after all—I stumbled my way to the highest point in the general vicinity. Surely there was some sort of alien life form controlling all this. Only some sort of sentient being would bring James here and then take him away. I was gambling on this. That was the only reason why I climbed to the highest point, in a lightning storm, and waited. When nothing happened right away, other than my falling and rolling back to the bottom and having to climb up again, I figured something a little more direct was necessary.

"Enough!" I screamed into the driving rain and gusting wind—very cliché moment but I'm living a cliché life, "Whoever the hell you are! I've had enough!" I beat at my chest. "Kill me! I want no more!" I felt the hair on my arms lift and I knew a bolt of lightning was charging up and would hit close by. "Kill me damn you!"

You know in those very dramatic moments in movies when the music swells and the protagonist challenges fate to do what it will with him/her and the entire time you're sitting there biting your nails wondering if for once Hollywood will defy the generic storyline and actually kill off the hero/heroine instead of having it all work out in the end like usual? Well this would be one of the moments, and I can tell you that as said protagonist/heroine I'd also like to know the outcome because…oh hell…here comes that damn lightning bolt!


	31. Seeing RED

_Just so you know, in case you are not familiar with the organization R.E.D, I created it in my first Brenna Jones story and the explanation for it lies within chapter 16(area) of my other Brenna Jones story, "Accidentally Going."_

* * *

"Brenna."

I moaned. Well…apparently I'm not dead if the pain shooting around through my body like fire ants on steroids is any indication of a continuation of life.

"Brenna."

Damn you, whoever you are, can't you just let me lie here in pain, in peace?

"No Brenna I can't."

Did I say all that out loud?

"Aw come on Brenna," I felt a sting across my cheek, tears coming to my eyes from the smack, "you're really such a baby."

"I know." I grumbled, and it's true, I know I'm a total pansy when it comes to pain.

When I finally opened my eyes, the pain from the lights overhead made my head ache even more. I wiggled all my fingers and toes, making sure none of them had been fried off. Wait…didn't I get struck by lightning? What was the percentage of survival from a lightning strike? Isn't it something like 10-32%? Oh ouch…my brain is still too groggy to think mathematically. Whatever…it seems that I've survived with only a raging headache, sore muscles and joints, and an annoying companion currently shaking me like a leaf.

"Go away." I managed to gasp out, my throat exceedingly dry and sore, probably from all that screaming I'd done earlier when I'd tempted fate…and gotten my ass fried as a result.

"I can't do that Brenna." I was suddenly picked up from where I'd been laying on a very cold floor and sat up in a very uncomfortable metal chair, equally cold. "I've got too much to ask, and tell, you and too little time to do it in. Now buck up." My face was lightly smacked again. I growled in response. "Oh come on I wasn't even putting any effort into that. Sheesh, I don't know what James ever saw in you."

I finally managed to open my eyes, blink away the initial gritty feeling, and stare into the face of Patricia. I don't know if it was the sight of her beauty or the bright lights, but one or the other made my head buzz and I had to duck my head for a few moments to get through the sudden pain. Of all the people I'd hoped to not wake up to... She was always closely related to chaos and destruction, usually caused by her, and the last time I'd teamed up with her I'd gotten stabbed in the stomach—by her!

"What are you doing here?" I am thoroughly confused now, not that I was ever NOT confused to begin with.

Patricia let out a light laugh as she waved a hand in the air, "My darling Brenna the question is what are YOU doing here?" She moved to where I could see past her and my eyebrows immediately shot up into my hairline.

I looked past her shoulder and through the wall-size window that marked off this little interrogation room, to what looked like the pulsing nerve-center of some very large, very high-tech organization. There were giant machines, very futuristic looking, blinking dozens of different colors, robots wandered around as if that were normal, people were rushing here and there, all dressed in similar looking jumpsuits—what is it about the future and jumpsuits, don't they realize that they are only flattering on skinny ninnies like Patricia and not people like me? Real women have curves, future clothing designers, so can you please come up with something other than jumpsuits next time?

"Um," I scratched my head, "well let me rephrase my earlier question," I pointed to the window and looked back up to her, "where am I?"

"You're in one of R.E.D's headquarters in the 29th century."

Ah, great, just what I needed, to be involved with some government program that saw time and reality as a plaything. Damn.

I frowned then, "I thought R.E.D. was corrupt. Or the Allied government. Or something like that."

I watched Patricia walk over to the wall where to pushed on what looked like a normal piece of wall but apparently it wasn't because suddenly there was a table in front of me. She spoke up while she moved to another wall and pushed another portion, this time a pitcher of water and a glass appeared on the table.

"Parts of R.E.D. and the Allied government were corrupt, but that was in another timeline. The underground I was working with managed to form another version of R.E.D in this timeline; so far no corruption to speak of. Though, as is the nature of most underground organizations, they still haven't felt comfortable enough with any governments to let them have free reign with this timeline."

I didn't want to start down the path of alternate timelines and the like with her. It had given me enough of a headache back in the days when I'd first become acquainted with Patricia's true colors and the whole R.E.D. resistance thingy. Even now, remembering bits and pieces of all the things I'd had to go through all those years ago made my head hurt even more. I reached forward and grabbed the pitcher and attempted to pour some water but only ended up dumping the lot of it in my lap when my arm started shaking uncontrollably. Patricia sighed and shook her head at my accident, pushing another portion of wall so that the pitcher refilled itself.

"You better be glad I just happened to be here or else you probably would've been eliminated as a threat." She came forward and leaned against the edge of the table, watching me with amused eyes when I tried to pour another glass of water but again only drenched my lap.

I sighed and threw up my hands in defeat, "You just happened to be in the 29th century in this timeline?" I shook my head, immediately regretting the action when my head pounded again. "Somehow that doesn't seem like you. Patricia. You're always twenty steps ahead of the game, you always have an angle, and I can trust you about as much as I can trust Q."

Her amusement faded a small degree, just enough for me to notice. Before I could further study her though, she again moved over to the wall and pushed on it, the pitcher again refilling. When she came back towards me her earlier flippant attitude was back.

"So that's why you're always so comfortable with James and I babysitting Caiden from time-to-time?" She smiled that pretty smile of hers, the one that always made me so jealous because she was just too damn beautiful for comfort. "In any case, Brenna, I actually am telling the truth here, for once at least. I was on my way through a temporal rift when you suddenly appeared on the launching pad. You looked pretty fried, literally, but our doctors managed to put you back together, though they assured me that you'd probably have some annoying muscles spasms from time to time." She glanced down at my wet lap then smiled sweetly up at me. "Though I'm not surprised, you always did have odd twitches and quirks didn't you?"

My arm suddenly lashed out and caught Patricia in the stomach, making her grunt before she scooted further back, rubbing her stomach as she eyed me with mischief.

I only smiled sweetly. "Must've been a muscle spasm."

"In any case," she glared down at me, "my superiors are wondering who the hell you are, how the hell you got here, and where the hell we're supposed to take you. That is basically a direct quote. I managed to answer the first question suitably, without your inadequate input," I really wanted to have another 'muscle spasm' but she was too far away to smack, "but the last two questions we had to wait for until you were awake. And goodness gracious you certainly take a long time to revive. It's been nearly an hour. I have too much to do to be sitting around waiting for you to take your lovely time waking up. It's not like you need any beauty sleep, though it would do you some good."

I shrugged, again regretting the action when my muscles almost immediately began to spasm in response, "Sorry to take so much time, Patricia, but I had just gotten struck by lightning."

"Oh really?" She stepped closer, "You do know that that is relatively stupid right?"

"No really? I thought it'd be fun and that's why I did it!" I growled, willing the stupid spasms to go away.

Patricia waved away my sarcasm as if it were an annoying fly. "In any case where were you when this happened? I'm not even going to ask what you were doing because knowing you it was something impulsive and stupid."

"Don't know." I was choosing to ignore her more insulting remarks, figuring arguing with her would be like arguing with Q.

"You don't know if you were being stupid or you don't know where you were?"

"Nope."

Patricia sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose, "Brenna I can't help you if you don't help me."

"I can't help you if I honestly don't know where I was, how I got there, or how I got here."

"Why don't you explain the things that you DO know and those of us with superior intellect will take it from there okay?" She flipped her hair over her shoulder before leveling a sweet smile on me again.

"Bitch."

She smiled in response, "You know it."

I explained the energy surges on board the Enterprise—only after a detour of having to explain to her what Enterprise and what made it so different from the other one I'd been on—and while I left out the more personal details that involved Kirk, I explained what I'd noticed about the planet we'd been on—including the flickering effects and the html codes I'd seen. By the time I was done Patricia looked like she was about to throw up—which is a strange reaction to have in my opinion.

"Um Patricia?" she looked up from the spot on the floor she'd been staring at. "What's up with you? It's not like you got struck by lightning."

Before she could comment a few men walked through the window—apparently it was just a force field of sorts. Patricia straightened up and stepped away from me. From what I knew of Patricia, which considering how slippery she was…was not much, I got the distinct feeling that she was tense, at least around these blokes—not that I could blame her because they all three look like Hulk wannabes, minus the green tinting.

They spoke in some language that I didn't know, and of course Patricia didn't even feel the need to translate for me. In the time frame that it took them to talk I again tried to pour a glass of water, and this time I got some water in the glass but again the majority of it ended up in my lap. When I looked up I found one of the Hulks smirking at me in an entirely inappropriate manner—jerk—while the other two continued to talk with Patricia. I merely crossed my eyes at Mr. Smirking Hulk and attempted to drink the water, though I had to use both my shaking hands to even get the glass to my lips.

"All right." Patricia suddenly clapped her hands together.

The sound caused me to jump which resulted in the glass slipping from my hand and crashing to the floor, showering me with the remaining water. The Hulks and Patricia watched the moment with obvious amusement but at least the Hulks said nothing before they left. Patricia however continued to stare at me.

"Well I don't think you need a shower now." She took in my soaked pants and my now rather damp shirt.

I glared at her, "You know you could've helped with the water, at least until my spasms go away."

"My dear girl, do you think I even know what the word 'help' means?"

Blast, she had a point there. I sighed as I gazed down at my lap.

"Well in any case we can't lollygag around here all day. I've been informed that you can leave this room and go to our guest quarters for the time being."

"I'm surprised you guys even have guest quarters."

Patricia laughed, "Oh we don't. There's a crew taking out the bars right now."

"You're putting me in a converted prison cell?" Why am I not surprised?

"Oh don't sound so insulted dear Brenna. You should be glad that they're even allowing you out of here."

She led me through the force field and out into the pulsing nerve center area. She continued to chatter away about nonsensical things as she led me through the center and on into a network of corridors. I could hear over a dozen different languages being spoken, only one or two them recognizable by me. I saw a number of robots but interestingly enough I never saw an alien life form. Strange considering this was the 29th century.

"There should be a change of clothing in there already for you. I'll wait out here for you because seeing you naked would only be so much fun for me." She politely shoved me into the room she'd stopped by, quickly shutting the door behind me.

It was a jumpsuit, surprise surprise, and it was yellow. Of all colors! I bet Patricia purposefully asked them to choose the brightest, most unflattering color out of all the choices possible merely because it would make her look even better. Bitch.

"Ah you look like a bee, just minus the black stripes!" She commented with a bright smile when I came out into the corridor again.

"Find me some paint and I can remedy that in a jiffy. In fact I'll just dump the whole lot over my head."

Patricia waved away my comment, "You're so dramatic Brenna. Now come with me and we'll get you some food. You are hungry aren't you? I mean getting fried and everything didn't do anything to your appetite? Though it wouldn't at all be a bad thing to lose a few pounds. Are you exercising at all?"

As we moved down the corridor I was subjected to more and more "abuse," all the while thinking of all the many ways I wanted to maim the beautiful enigma that walked in front of me.


	32. Finding Out Reasons

Patricia continued to chatter about absolute nonsense all the way to the mess hall. I'd tried to memorize the route but I was fairly certain that Patricia was purposefully leading me in a circular straight line—yes that is possible—in order to keep me off kilter.

I did pay attention to other things though—I hadn't gone zooming around kingdom come with Q without having picked up a few observational skills out of necessity. I noticed weapons of some-sort issued to every person that I saw, I saw monitoring devices strategically located at the tops of every stairwell and at the end of every corridor; of course there were probably more but Patricia was walking too fast for me to look too closely.

I also never heard English spoken. So far only Patricia had opted for English and the sound of it perked many ears as we strolled by. I felt far from welcome among these highly secretive twerps—I could just tell that they were twerps without having to ask as they did have a twerp-like aura. And again, I never saw an alien of any kind, just humans and robots. As Spock would say, that fact was fascinating.

"Here we are!" Patricia tapped a code onto the keypad and suddenly what had looked like a wall suddenly vanished and the mess hall stood before us. "You go sit down and I'll get you something to eat. No use in you trying to get anything, you wouldn't know what anything was and more than likely just get too much and get sick or worse, hurt what figure you do have." She pushed me towards the tables, clicking her tongue at me.

Sometimes I would really like to shove my fist somewhere on her where the sun didn't shine! I complied though, figuring compliance would probably get me more answers—should I venture to ask a question—and perhaps Patricia would be more willing to help me as well, in case I needed it—though again she had owned up to the sad fact that she didn't know what "helping" someone was like.

As I sat down, movement just off to my right caught my attention. I stiffened, harsh memories surging up inside me. The torture I'd had to endure just before I'd left with Kirk and Mac when I'd been captured by the xenophobic bastards was suddenly in the forefront of my mind. The reason: Agent Turner, my so called "knight in shining armor" from Section 31, was just standing up from a table with a few other people. He wore a different uniform, spoke a different language, but I would know that face and tone of voice anywhere. At the time I'd been rescued, and right before it, I'd latched onto that face and voice as a lifeline. And here he stood, as if for all the world he belonged here in the 29th century.

I didn't say anything, and I did my best not to bring attention to myself or give away the fact that I recognized him, as I watched him and those he was with leave the mess hall. Once he disappeared down a corridor I let out the breath I'd been holding.

"What's got you all riled up?" Patricia dropped a tray of ugly looking slop in front of me—she'd probably picked out the most disgusting looking and tasting tidbits just to irk me.

I picked up my spoon and swallowed past the urge to hurl, "Just thinking about how annoying this all is."

"What is?" She was sipping on something steamy in a mug.

"Time travel, reality travel, never knowing who to trust or what to expect," I swallowed my first bite without having tasted anything, "conspiracies and intrigue. Oh you know what I mean," I took another bite, leveling my gaze with hers, "don't you?"

Patricia purposefully took another sip of her drink before she gave me a dazzling smile—always a clue that something was up but she wasn't telling, or at least not yet. She switched the topic with speed that the Flash would envy and soon I found myself utterly harassed in every aspect by the only person I knew I could somewhat "trust" in this foreign facility.

After three annoying hours—annoying due to muscle spasms and Patricia's rather frustrating sense of superiority and off-brand humor—I found myself sitting in front of the Hulks again and it was decided that I'd eventually be returned to the Enterprise where I'd been taken from—the alternate reality one at least—where Mac was waiting for me. Of course my memories of what the R.E.D. facility looked like and the faces of the people I'd seen would be wiped, but Patricia had managed to convince her high and mighty superiors to allow me the privilege of knowing that they'd been the ones to rescue me from whatever would've happened to me otherwise. She'd said it would stoke their ego, which was always a good thing.

But now we were walking back towards my make-shift quarters, her talking and me observing—trying to catch another glimpse of Agent Turner. I knew it deep in my bones that there was a whole hell of a lot more going on here than mere reality traveling. Some epic was brewing and Patricia was in the thick of it—like usual. This fact was what irked me. She knew so much, could help so much, and yet she was currently regaling me with stories from some of her assignments, on her wedded bliss with my ex-fiancé, and some of the trouble she'd gotten into with my son whenever he visited. She talked about nonsense instead of trusting me and talking to me as a person instead of a cockroach that she took in as a pet—okay maybe a mouse and not a cockroach; that would make me a mammal at least.

In all, I learned a few things from listening to her chatter away. One: have Caiden wear a wire and a hidden camera whenever he visited so I could use the recordings as blackmail later on—from what I can tell it'd be good stuff. Two: Patricia can sure talk a lot, and again about fluff. Three: James—my ex-fiancé—and Patricia have got to be one of the weirdest couples ever. He remained back in our old reality—the one where my brother still lived, while Patricia jumped from one timeline to another as her day job, and James was fully aware of it and perfectly fine with it—at least according to her. Talk about…odd.

"Brenna." Patricia suddenly smacked my shoulder, setting off another series of muscles spasms. When she noticed the chain reaction of her action she only grinned. "What was it like?"

"Excuse me?"

"You know, seeing your old flame again? Wasn't it a bit awkward?"

I suddenly got a brain freeze. Why did Patricia always have to be so nosey?

"Um, yeah I guess you could call it awkward, but mostly it was bittersweet. And I feel like we have more unfinished business." I rubbed at my head to get the pain to go away. "I wish I knew what happened to him, you know after he disappeared."

Patricia was silent, for once, and I immediately knew that she knew what'd happened. I stopped and waited until she stopped and turned back towards me. I didn't voice my question. She glanced around and then sighed.

"He also appeared here but before he woke up we transported him back onboard his ship."

I frowned, "How did they know where to transport him? You said you only happened upon me."

Patricia nibbled her lower lip, for the first time looking like she'd been caught in her own lie. Either that or she was just further leading me down the rabbit hole into utter confusion. I never knew what to think with this woman.

"Patricia." I growled. "For the sake of Caiden, whom I know you adore, please tell me what the hell is going on."

"I can't tell you everything, but I can tell you that nothing has happened that wasn't planned." She whispered, coming closer to take hold my elbow to lead me on. "And I mean everything."

My head was starting to hurt again, "Do you mean all the way back to the first day your gorgeous but annoying self waltzed into my life?"

"Yes." Her answer made me want to throw-up.

"Have I been part of some R.E.D. psychological experiment?"

"Yes and no."

I frowned, "Care to explain just a wee bit more?"

A group of agents, or whatever, came around the corner, causing Patricia to fall silent again. Once they were gone and we were again alone she continued.

"The creature you've been traveling with," I stiffened at the mention of Q, "my superiors have been trying to track him down."

I sat up straighter, "Why?"

"They," Patricia actually looked very uncomfortable now and that was exceedingly strange, "want to study him, try to harness his powers."

I laughed. Her superiors actually thought they could safely study a Q and harness his powers? How utterly ridiculous!

"Patricia, you know quite well that Q cannot be harnessed in any fashion. The Q aren't tied down to a plane of existence, they aren't humanoid, they are almost like pure energy. The thought alone of trying to study and contain a Q is preposterous." Q may have caused me lots of awkwardness, frustration, pain, and loss of sleep over the years but he still had always come through in the end, taken care of both myself and my son, and though he did threaten me with dire consequences somehow—after my initial fear—I always knew he'd never destroy my life the way he said he would. "How do your superiors think they can study him anyway? Don't tell me they have some kind of device that can trap a Q?"

My laughter died in my throat when Patricia leveled her gaze on me. Suddenly it all made sense. These people were using me to get to Q. Things had been orchestrated over the years so that they could get closer and closer to Q. More than likely my little skirmish with those xenophobic bastards of before had again only been a ploy of R.E.D. I again felt like throwing up. I stopped and leaned against the wall, waiting until the world stopped spinning before I spoke again.

"What about you? Why haven't they used you to get him?"

Patricia sighed, "Q hasn't brought Caiden by for some time now. He probably grew suspicious when I invited him to come see our headquarters out of the blue."

So Q had been making up stories about taking Caiden to see Patricia and James, and Caiden had played along. Probably out of some sense of loyalty to the creature, Caiden felt the need to lie to his own mother. However, right now, not knowing whom I should trust or side with, I couldn't bring myself to be angry with my son for his deception. In fact, for whatever reason, I was happy that Caiden had "protected" Q with his lies. It was a twisted relationship, the one I had with Q, but he had managed to wheedle out some form of loyalty out of me.

"Your superiors, they would hold Q against his will?" Patricia's steady silence answered my question and I frowned. "You said earlier there is no corruption here. How can you continue to work for these people when they are so willing to harm another creature like this?"

Patricia growled, "It is for the good of countless others Brenna."

"When you say 'others' you mean humans right?" Patricia's eyes widened but she kept her mouth shut so I continued. "I couldn't help but notice that there are no alien's here, and I have more than a few mental scars from a little stint with some torture inclined bastards earlier this year so I couldn't help but see one of the men who 'rescued' me in the mess hall."

Patricia reached down and pressed a button on her gadget belt before she leaned closer. "You don't understand the world of the 29th century, or any other century after your own. You cannot see the bigger picture because you're too wrapped up in your own skin. You'll solve nothing unless you're willing to risk everything." Her voice held a serious tone in it that I'd never heard before and I was suddenly quite frightened.

Before I could say anything she pressed the button again and suddenly her voice and demeanor was as if she'd said nothing before, "Q has shielded you from reality and the reality is that without the powers of these Q harnessed and contained there will be no balance, no guarantees with life. They supposedly have a Q Continuum that states they will not interfere with less superior life and yet they do, at their own whims, violate their own beliefs."

"So your organization is trying to go to war with the Q?" My head began to hurt again from how many angles this conversation had taken. "Do you really want to be on the losing side?"

Patricia smiled though her eyes did not mirror the action, "We aren't loosing Brenna." She motioned for me to follow her. "I've got something to show you."

I stood up on wobbly legs and followed her, still uncertain how I felt about all this. Should I be happy that finally someone else felt that the Q should be held accountable for their actions and interference with our lives? Should I feel threatened even though I wasn't a Q? Whose side did I take? Who did I trust? And what did she mean about sacrificing and all that jazz?

Patricia led me through some corridors and down, down, down, so far down I thought we'd surely find the planet's core—if indeed we were even on a planet. A few sharp corners later and we stood in front of one of the largest vault doors I'd ever seen. She spoke a few sharp words to the guard there, again in a language I didn't recognize, and then motioned me closer. The guard tapped in a few codes on a panel by the door and suddenly the door became clear enough to see through.

I gasped, my hand coming up to cover my mouth, as I stared in shock at the scene before me. Oh heavens above…what the hell was going on?


	33. Forming a Game Plan

Nothing could prepare me for the sight before me. On the other side of the transparent door were about three dozen beings, of different species, all laid out on horizontal tables, strapped down like slabs of meat; special force fields held them in place and any time any one of them attempted to use their powers to escape or move, a bright flash was emitted and the Q screamed in agony. There were some other beings strapped vertically that were being poked and prodded and cut into like they were science experiments, all while the beings remained alert and conscious.

"So you see," Patricia gestured at the massive door in front of us, "we are actually the winning side. The Q are no match for the resources that we have extracted throughout time and space. They are not the only superior beings out there and believe me we have learned a lot from their competition." Patricia chuckled. "Of course their competition no longer exists but I'm not one to brag."

I nodded dumbly, only able to observe the scene as my thoughts were racing too fast to form coherent sentences. For some odd reason I felt guilty and quite dirty. Perhaps it was because I was human and it was humanity who was obviously gallivanting around time lines and alternate realities collecting data to their hearts content, no matter the consequences or causalities. From my own experience they also had no qualms with using a fellow human being as bait in order to lure in their prey. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

While there was no great love between myself and the Q, or with Q himself, I had over the years learned that they did have a strange form of honor and conscience, just a form that we didn't really understand. They weren't perfect, but neither were we as humans. They made mistakes and didn't admit to them, just like us as well. They were basically "human" just not human, if that made sense. They, of course, would call it arrogant of us to describe them as being human, and it was arrogance classifying all other beings as human when they acted like us instead of saying we were "Q-ish" or "Cardassian"—and yes we have a whole hellofalot in common with Cardassians too.

"H-how are you keeping them here?" I stumbled over my words, still in a state of shock.

Patricia motioned to the guard and the door changed to solid again. "I can't tell you that Brenna, surely you understand the position you're in. You already have seen too much," she shrugged, "though this will all just be wiped from your memory as well."

I shuddered, suddenly feeling very vulnerable and entirely out of place. I knew Patricia wouldn't kill me—well at least I hoped she wouldn't—and hopefully she wouldn't allow her superiors to kill me, but I knew for a fact that bodily harm was a distinct possibility if I crossed them in anyway. They were already using me to get to Q; what would stop them from using my friends or family to get to me in order to get to Q if I refused to cooperate with them? Perhaps being on a planet about to destroy itself would be better than standing here, between the R.E.D. organization and the total annihilation of the Q Continuum.

"Why are you doing this?" My voice was weak as I again followed Patricia back up towards my quarters.

"I told you Brenna. The Q need to be held in check. No one being should be allowed to have so much power and not be held accountable to the masses." She barked that out as if it had been ingrained on her brain.

This was beginning to sound like a bastardized form of Communism, except the targeted bourgeoisie was the Q Continuum and the working masses was the R.E.D. organization. What the hell had I gotten myself into and how the hell was I supposed to get out?

"What gives you all the right to do that to them though?" I gestured over my shoulder. "Sure they should be scolded for their irresponsibility and defiance of their own regulations, but torture? Imprisonment? Is that really the answer?"

Patricia pressed that same button on her belt then growled at me though she kept her face neutral, "Be careful what you say Brenna, or else you'll be eliminated and I won't be able to stop them." I stiffened and watched as she pressed the button again and stepped away. "These are matters beyond your comprehension; you just don't know what you're talking about. More positive will be gained from temporary negative."

The similarity to the Red Scare in old 20th century Earth and this R.E.D organization made me nearly want to laugh, if the situation wasn't so dire. I couldn't believe that Patricia, crazy Patricia, had bought into this crap. I bit my tongue in order to keep from saying more on that topic, figuring a bloody nose wasn't worth it—and I knew Patricia would give me one if I didn't shut up.

"So is Q the last one out there? Is that why you're using me to get to him?" More and more the pieces to the puzzle were coming together. The torture they'd put me through on Earth, and the whole incident with Kirk on the planet which resulted in me coming here was probably a ploy by them also. He may or may not have been real—those html like symbols did hint at a computer program, and if these people were as advanced as they seemed then a holographic image would not be impossible for them. My brain was hurting with all this doubt and confusion over what was real and what wasn't, what had been orchestrated by R.E.D. and what had been brought about naturally, or at least by Q.

Patricia shook her head, "He isn't the only one but he is one of the oldest ones still at large. We figure if we can nab him then the others who look up to him will soon fall as well."

I restrained myself from voicing any more opinions that could result in my untimely death. I only hoped that Q was safely far away, and Caiden with him. Yes again Q was an unfeeling bastard from time-to-time but I certainly didn't think that he, nor the other Q, deserved this sort of treatment. This was inhumane and the organization was acting just as irresponsibly as they accused the Q of acting. They were playing like gods, and there was no excuse for that with any creature or organization.

"So where is the launching pad?" I questioned, trying to formulate a desperate plan. Patricia always accused me of acting impulsively, now was just a time to prove her correct in her assumptions. An impulsive act would be more beneficial than a carefully laid out one, mainly because I wasn't very good at carefully laid out ones and they usually backfired on me anyway. "Will I get my memory wiped in-route or before hand?"

Patricia chuckled, "Oh don't worry Brenna, and it's painless. I've had to undergo the procedure a time or two myself." I couldn't help but wonder why she'd have to go through a memory wiping procedure, which again made me wonder if indeed this was the correct R.E.D. organization, if this was indeed the correct Patricia, and if I was in fact myself. Damn all this second-guessing is a nuisance.

I nodded and quietly followed, doing my best to take note of my surroundings. All the controls to all the machines were written in some sort of code or language I didn't recognize. So if I did manage to get out from under Patricia's finger then where in the hell would I go? No, I couldn't act too quickly. I needed to bide my time and try to figure out a good game plan. I continued to follow her as she led me down a few more corridors until she stopped suddenly and pointed to her left.

"This is one of our launching pads." She pointed to a round flat surface on the other side of a large plane of glass—it reminded me of something out of the movie Tron. "Those are the dials that control the timeline, those controls time period, those control seasons during the time period, and it goes on into hours, minutes, and seconds. It is quite precise actually." She went down the line, flipping a switch here and turning a knob there. "So now that agent there," she pointed to an agent who had been standing by, "can now safely go to 235 B.C.E during the rainy season at 0435 a.m. in the timeline three strings from ours." She nodded to the agent and I watched as the agent stepped onto the disc like platform and stood ready. Patricia pressed a red button and I listened as the computer counted down from ten seconds. Of course, as with all time machines, a bright flash and loud crack later, the agent was gone and we were alone. Patricia smiled over at me, "Impressive eh?"

I nodded, "Just like every other device I've been shown here."

She chuckled and led me back into the corridor. I immediately began to draw a map in my mind, hoping that she wouldn't take me through too many more confusing corridors, so that I could remember where this room was later on. My game plan was starting to come into fruition, but there were still some factors that I'd have to work out. For instance how was I supposed to figure out the correct time, season, time period, and so on if all the dials and knobs were written in a code I didn't recognize? I could end up in prehistoric times in the dead of winter if I wasn't careful.

I mentally sighed. Yes I had a game plan, but it could seriously backfire.

Once we were back at my quarters Patricia followed me into the room and shut the door. She sat on the edge of the hard cot and stared at me with a funny expression on her face. She reached down and pressed that button on her belt again—which of course made me assume that it was some sort of signal scrambler, which would make sense if R.E.D was always listening in on our conversation—which would make sense given the type of people they were.

"I know you think I'm a monster right now Brenna, and I wouldn't blame you if I were as naïve as you are. However you must understand that more is going on here than you realize and that everything is more connected than you could imagine."

I put my hands on my hips and glared at her, "Thanks Yoda but bou could explain everything to me you know, make all this a little easier for both of us."

"Oh that'll spoil the fun." She waved a hand in the air as she stood up. "Just remember that they will use you and everyone you love or care about in any fashion they deem necessary to accomplish their goal." She pressed the button on her belt again. "Have a good evening. I'll see you off in the morning."

As she left I got the sinking suspicion that that was her way of warning me, as odd as that was. And if Patricia felt the need to warn me about something then I knew all hell was going to break loose soon, if I didn't stop it sooner.


	34. Naked on the Bridge

Having decided earlier that impulsiveness was key in this matter, well at least calculated impulsiveness, I waited some hours after Patricia had deposited me in my quarters before I made my move. By my calculation I was three floors above the launching pad she'd shown me and if I ran I could make it there in perhaps 10 minutes, given the fact that I'd have to sneak past guards and cameras—Patricia had pointed a few of them out almost nonchalantly—go through at least 20 different corridors, 15 sharp turns, and obviously three flights of stairs.

Of course once I got to the launching pad, I still had to try to figure out the correct codes for the correct time and place. Then there was the issue of them tracing me back to the Enterprise, but right now that was the only place I knew of where I could be "safe." Perhaps then Q could contact me and we could figure out some way to combat these people. Perhaps Kirk and Mac could help me figure something out. In any case, I knew I couldn't return home to my brother. James was there and he'd be sure to alert Patricia—if he was in league with her. I couldn't return to the old Enterprise, I'd already done enough damage emotionally to James. No, the young Enterprise would be best. They were more accustomed to near annihilation scenarios than the other crew, at least as far as I knew.

I glanced at the clock and sighed. A few minutes longer and then I'd go. I hate waiting, it is worse than actually going through with a decision. I'd heard once that hell was waiting for your execution but it never came; hell was waiting for something wonderful to happen but it never happened; hell was waiting and not doing. That made sense to me because right now I feel worse than I'd felt getting struck by lightning—well psychologically at least.

So in my waiting period I ticked off the ways I'd explain myself to the crew once I got back. Of course they probably would be less than enthusiastic about helping Q, since he'd been the one to threaten them, and myself, and perhaps had been the one to cause all those energy waves—though now in light of this situation he had probably been warning me more than threatening me. Damn…why couldn't people, and enigmatic creatures, just be on the level? What's so wrong with blatant honesty? All this tip-toeing around the truth and withholding of information is getting to be a damned nuisance, just like everything else.

As I glanced back on my time with Q I realized more fully that everything he put me through had indeed helped strengthen/prepare me for this situation. Maybe he had seen this coming, maybe it had been going on longer than I even realized, and so Q had "refined" me through the fires of embarrassing and difficult situations over the years. Though there was still the question of why me to begin with was also in my mind.

I looked at the clock again and nodded. It was time to move. I carefully padded to the door and pulled it open as quietly as possible, peering outside for any guards. Seeing no one, and perhaps this is just a trap—but no sense in not trying—I moved out into the corridor and started towards the stairs. I shivered. Damn corridor was drafty, but of course being naked I can feel every draft.

I hadn't know if any of the clothes they'd given me were bugged—and I figured there were tracking devices on them after watching Patricia earlier—so I'd opted for nudity instead of uncertainty. Not the most glorious of escapes I know, but in light of this situation, I can't say that I'm surprised. Actually I'm surprised that I haven't had to try to make a daring escape whilst naked before this.

I made it down one flight of stairs and was just coming up to the other when I heard footsteps approaching. I glanced around. There was no place to hide. I just happened to be in the one part of the corridor where there wasn't a broom closet—or whatever those small rooms had been. Mentally cursing I backtracked as quickly as possible, squeezing inside one of the small rooms I'd seen earlier, moments before a group of guards marched past. That was a bit too close for comfort.

I waited until I was sure they were good and gone before I poked my head out again. I didn't have time to keep treading lightly. The Q were still down there being "studied" aka tortured, Q was in danger, and Caiden was going to be caught in the crossfire just like me if something wasn't done soon. No, I needed to get a move on.

I ran, trying my best to ignore the fact that my feet were being ripped to shreds thanks to the serrated metallic floor. Down the last two flights of stairs, through the remaining corridors, around the last few turns and finally into the launching room. I'd been surprised that I hadn't met with any guards up till that moment. But then perhaps I should've not been so surprised when as soon as I touched the control panel a loud siren went off.

"Damn." I growled as I set about punching random dials, trying my best to make out what each one meant. I'd do no one any good if I ended up in the wrong place and wrong time.

"I would say that I'm surprised to see you," at the sound of her voice I stiffened, "but I can't say that I am. I knew you would be crazy enough to try this. I'd counted on it in fact."

I turned to find Patricia leaning against the doorframe, a gun held loosely in her hand. She eyed me with twisted amusement. She took in my state of undress and grinned.

"Forget something?"

I growled, ignoring her attempts at sarcasm, "Patricia you have to know that this isn't right. You have to let me go."

She huffed and pushed away from the door, stalking closer, the door swishing shut behind her. She kicked back with her leg and managed to kick some buttons. I heard the door hiss as it locked. That was either a good thing or a bad thing but considering she was holding a weapon I figured it could only be a bad thing. She continued closer and closer until my butt was pressed up against the control panel.

"I know many things Brenna, many things that you'll never even begin to imagine." She pressed the gun against my chest and I shivered at its cold touch. "I have done many things and I will do many things that no one can be proud of, save dictators and the like." She brought the gun up and pressed it up against my chin. "My sense of morality is not to be questioned, Brenna," she snarled at me and allowed a few panicked breaths to pass before she spoke again, "but neither is my loyalty."

"Huh?" I raised an eyebrow.

She reached past me and I heard more than saw her turn and flip the knobs and dials. The launching pad suddenly began to hum to life. I looked behind to make sure I was seeing what I was hearing and then back to Patricia, who had pulled the gun back and held it loosely at her side.

"I'm not an idiot Brenna. I know that what these prats are doing is wrong. Why do you think I'm here? I've already had to put down one overbearing government, I'm not about to allow an organization to destroy galaxies merely because they are arrogant enough to believe that they are policing the area instead of destroying it."

I blinked in confusion, "So…you brought me here?"

"Sometimes, Brenna, I think you're IQ is less than that of a five year old. Surely by now you would realize that I'm working with Q and together we orchestrated your coming here, and even getting on board the Enterprise to begin with."

"What?" I barely kept my mouth from falling open. "You mean to tell me that it wasn't an accident that I ended up on the original Enterprise?"

Patricia let out a snort, "There are no accidents Brenna." She eyed my nude body and smiled. "At least not unless you're in control of the situation. Now enough lollygagging. It is up to you Brenna, you and that damned Q." She handed me the gun. "Now shoot me."

I scoffed, "What?"

She shoved the gun into my hand, "Do you have bird brains or something? They'll know I helped you if you don't shoot me. Now shoot me damn it!"

I shrugged, more surprised to find that I wasn't as conflicted with the thought as perhaps I should've been than worried about hurting her. I had just started to charge the weapon when she reached out to stop me.

"Tell Caiden I'm sorry."

I was surprised she was being so sentimental. "You can tell him yourself." I began to take aim and she stopped me again. "What now?"

"Not anywhere that can be seen okay?" I raised an eyebrow and she continued with a sigh, "Yes I'm vain but forgive me for knowing what my best feature is."

I shook my head and fired. She yelped and fell to the floor, the wound in her upper thigh immediately gushing with blood. Without further hesitation I slammed my hand onto the activation button and rushed towards the launching pad. I felt something burn my side and glanced back to see agents pouring into the control room.

"Five, four," they began to punch furiously at the controls but it was too late and I smiled, flipping them the birdie, "three, two, one."

A bright flash, excruciating pain—seriously why did time travel have to hurt so damn much—and a few curses later and I found myself standing on the bridge of the Enterprise. All the familiar chirps and beeps greeted me and I barely refrained from crumpling to the floor in relief. My side was bleeding from where the weapons charge had grazed me and my feet were bleeding from the metal floors but other than that, and a splitting headache, I was no worse for wear.

"Brenna?" I turned and saw Kirk, the young one, stand from his chair. "What're you doing?"

I glanced around the bridge, thankful to see all the crewmembers alive and well. The ship wasn't lurching about so either the waves of energy had stopped or had never started, depending on when Patricia had decided to drop me. In any case, everyone looked fine. Well, fine and shocked at my sudden, nude appearance. Spock stood from his station and raised an eyebrow at me. I smiled in return, trying to keep my cool.

"Long story," somehow I managed to sound nonchalant, despite the fact that I stood buck naked on the bridge, "but I think it'd be best if I got dressed before I told you. Meet me in my quarters in about ten minutes?"

Kirk nodded in stunned silence, not even trying to press me for more information. I smiled and waved at everyone and walked with as much dignity as a nude person could onto the turbolift. Being naked on the bridge was the least of my worries at this moment in time. Though, if we managed to get through this new crisis, I knew I'd never hear the end of it from Kirk and the others. Delayed awkwardness…yet another form of hell.

As I walked I continued to wince and when I glanced behind me I frowned. I was leaving bloody footprints. Perhaps stopping by the infirmary was a better idea than immediately going to my room.

"Brenna?" I turned back around to find Sulu and Chekov standing awkwardly in the corridor, both trying desperately to look me in the eyes instead of elsewhere. "Where have you been?" Sulu continued to speak, though his voice had cracked a bit.

I tried to assume a casual position, covering my breasts with my arms and tilting my hips to the side, "Um, how long have I been gone?"

"Six hours. We're coming up on the starbase near where we're dropping off the Vulcans." Sulu's face was bright red. "Why are you naked?"

I heard someone gasp behind me and turned to find a small crowd beginning to form. I knew my face couldn't get any redder now that I saw Spock Prime amongst the crowd behind me. I turned back to Sulu.

"I think I can explain things better after I get to sickbay and get dressed again." I managed a wobbly smile. "See you later."

I hurried past them, finally breaking into a run despite my feet, once I was clear of the crowd. I was near tears of pain and humiliation by the time I entered sickbay.

"You'd better be here to tell me where Brenna is," I heard Mac's voice coming out of his office. He obviously hadn't seen that it was me here, "or else you can just turn around and-" he came out of his office and stopped, his eyes nearly popping out of his head in surprise.

"Hey there Leonard." I tried to sound nonchalant but my voice wobbled at the welcome sight of him. "I was wondering if you could help me-"

I couldn't finish my sentence before Mac was wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. He didn't say anything as he held me but I could feel the tension seep out of his shoulders the longer he held me. I closed my eyes and soaked up the feeling of comfort that I always found in his arms, allowing myself to be distracted from my pain and the dire situation we were in for a few minutes longer.

When Mac finally pulled back enough to look down into my face, I noticed some wet trails down his cheeks. I didn't mention them, and neither did he. A few seconds passed before he finally glanced down at my body and then back up at me with a smirk on his face.

"You disappear for six hours and come back naked? Should I ask where you've been and who you've been with?" His arms were still around my waist and I was surprised that his hands hadn't tried to wander down to my backside.

I chuckled, "I'll explain more once Kirk and Spock get here but in the meantime would you mind looking at my side and my feet?"

Mac pulled back immediately and glanced at my side then finally took note of my bloody feet. He growled before hoisting me up into his arms. I let out a yelp as he carried me over to the biobed and deposited me rather abruptly down—though he was probably being "gentle." His bedside manner had never been sweet but sassy. I'd probably need to worry if he suddenly got all sweet on me.

"What in the hell did you do to yourself Brenna?" He turned and barked at Christine, who had appeared by the bed while he'd been studying my wounds, "Get her a gown and bring me a hypospray of-"

"It's all right here doctor." Christine interrupted Mac's orders by handing him the hypospray as she helped me into the gown.

Mac glared at the quite competent and feisty nurse before administering the hypospray into my arm. I smiled at Christine. She winked at me as she helped me dress. Her relationship with Scotty was doing wonders, now that it was officially a relationship. A romance born out of love for alcohol may not sound like the healthiest of starts but they complimented each other nicely. Their humor was infectious apart but together they could overtake a world with it. Seeing them affectionately hold hands in the hallway was always comforting as well.

"Christine would you mind informing the captain that I'm here and not in my quarters?"

Christine nodded as she moved towards the panel, leaving Mac and I alone again. He was still growling at me, mumbling stuff about my irresponsibility and immaturity and so forth as he went about healing my feet and side. I endured it all in silence, knowing this was his way of letting out fear and frustration. When he finally came to a lull in his rant, I spoke up.

"What was the last thing that happened before I disappeared?" I was curious if we had even encountered the energy waves or had that most enlightening of conversations.

Mac glared at me as if I'd lost my mind along with my clothes, "Q had just left and we were on our way back out into the corridor to investigate the alarms when suddenly poof you were gone."

I inwardly sighed. Thank heavens he hadn't had to live through witnessing me being consumed by the energy waves. I didn't want to imagine what Mac would've been like after that incident. He'd already had to live through the Tarsus IV incident, seeing me "die" probably would've pushed him over the edge and into a darkness near impossible to return from.

"Why do you ask?" he looked up from where he held one of my feet. "Do you remember that much?"

"Oh yes I remember that much, don't worry, I was just curious about how much I'd missed." I carefully avoided bringing up an event that hadn't even happened.

"So," we both looked up to find Kirk and Spock coming in through the door, "where have you been, how did you get there and how did you come back?" Barely a pause and then Kirk continued, "Was it Q; is that why he caused that energy field to suddenly surround our ship and cause all those malfunctions, in order to take you?"

I shook my head at Kirk, "Not one for asking one question at a time are you?"

"I figured I'd voice all the questions I wanted answered right away, just to keep us on track." He smiled down at my gown, "Nice to see you in clothes again."

I raised an eyebrow, "Are you saying it was unpleasant to see me naked?"

"Wait, huh, no, no," Kirk held up his hands and hurriedly looked to Spock and Mac for help, "that's not what I meant."

"I believe the captain was attempting to convey his appreciation that you have found proper attire and will no longer suffer the discomfort of being seen nude outside of your quarters."

"I know Spock," I lightly punched his shoulder, earning a raised eyebrow in response, "I was just teasing him."

Mac frowned, "Are we sure teasing is what we need at this moment in time?"

"Okay, okay, I'll explain everything, as promised, but I think we should all sit down and or have something stiff to drink as I do it because what I have to say is quite, um, intense."

All three men began to look even more uncomfortable than before but all remained standing there even though I warned them. I sighed and shook my head.

"So in my time away, which for me was actually days and not hours, I found out that Q is actually not a bastard-"

"How in the hell did you come to that conclusion after all that he's done to you?" Mac interrupted, his arms waving in the air.

I glared at him, "Do you want me to explain or do you want to jump to conclusions?"

Kirk smacked Mac's shoulder and Mac shrugged in return. When everyone remained silent, I continued.

"Over the years, he has actually been grooming me for a much bigger event than I could've ever imagined. Now you lot do not know who Patricia is but-"

"So who is she?" Kirk interrupted this time.

"Oh dear," I rubbed my head, "this is going to take longer than I thought." I looked over at Mac, "Can I have a drink?"

Mac nodded and moved off towards his office. I began to calculate how much I should reveal and in what order while he was gone.

"I believe that before you continue we should know whether or not what you have endured will affect the ship." Spock finally spoke up.

I nibbled my lower lip before answering, "I'm afraid it will."

Kirk called over his shoulder, "Bring me a drink too Bones."

I waited until Mac came back before I ventured to explain everything, from the beginning, as I understood it. I didn't get far into my explanation of my first time aboard the other Enterprise that they all wanted further clarification that I was a from a time and reality where Starfleet didn't exist. I refrained from telling them that they were all fictional characters—I'd learned at least that much in my time with Q. Causing them to doubt their existence in the midst of a "war" would probably not help matters any.

When I got to the part of Patricia Mac interrupted more so than either Spock or Kirk. He couldn't seem to fathom that I'd been engaged to a man named James, that I'd been involved with James in the other Enterprise, that I had a son with James, or that my ex-fiancé's current wife was also a double agent for some secret society that had the technology to jump through time and alter realities. Listening to him try to comprehend it all made my head hurt, I could only imagine the three of them trying to keep up with all the complexities of the situation.

It took some convincing to get any of them to care that the Q were being hunted and destroyed. Just in the short time span that they'd known Q they'd already grown to hate him. My fault entirely, though I'll be honest and state that there are definitely some hateable qualities about the creature. However, he did have some redeemable features as well. They were just cleverly hidden most of the time.

By the time I finished the entire tale, my head was pounding and I was sure theirs were also. I mean I had to tell them about alternate realities and a little more details about my time aboard the previous Enterprise and some of my experiences over the past seven years—it almost felt like a Catholic confession or a psychiatric evaluation.

"So what are we supposed to do now?" Kirk asked after a few moments of silence when I finally finished.

I shrugged, "I have no idea. I figure we continue on our current mission and take the Vulcans to their new planet. Hopefully nothing will flare up while we still have them. They've been through enough as it is. Q will get in contact with us if and when he wants. By ourselves and without guidance, I don't think we can do much of anything to these people. We aren't technologically advanced enough and we don't even know where to find them anyway."

"I concur with Miss Jones' conclusion, captain. I believe we should continue to operate as per normal circumstances until Q contacts us or we gain further intelligence."

Kirk nodded, turning to Spock and discussing procedures that had nothing to do with me. I turned my attention to Mac and frowned. He hadn't spoken in a long time and his face had turned down into quite a dark scowl. He obviously was not impressed with the idea of me being in the middle of such an epic situation. Neither was I actually.

"Brenna," I turned my attention back to Kirk when he called my name, "return to your duties as normal and inform us the minute you hear from Q."

Considering how captainly he sounded just now I wasn't surprised to find myself actually saying, "Yes sir," in reply. Kirk raised an eyebrow at my words but left without saying anything further, Spock right on his heels. Mac then began to double-check my feet in silence.

"What are you thinking Leonard?" I figured I should get into the habit of using his first name when the situation was serious.

His hands stilled on my feet, his touch warm against my skin, "I'm thinking that this whole thing is crazy and bit beyond anything I've ever experienced before. So other than thinking that we're all in over our heads and that you're lucky to even be alive, I'm not really thinking about much."

"Understandable." I sighed when he let go of my feet and stepped back. "Leonard do you remember what we were talking about before I disappeared?" He nodded and I continued. "I did some thinking while I was gone, after I ran into that manufactured or not Kirk, and I realized that I would rather pursue a relationship with you while I can than keep you at arms length and waste what we have now."

He looked up at me with an expression so intense that I forgot to breathe for a moment. He stepped closer, until his body was between my legs where they had been dangling off the edge of the bed. He reached out with one hand and smoothed my hair out of my face while he rested the other hand against my waist.

"You sure about that Brenna?" He leaned his face closer until his nose brushed mine. "Are you sure that you're not about to start something you can't finish?"

I decided to turn the tables on him, having found some more gumption during my ordeal. I wrapped my arms around his neck and used my hold on him to tug him closer until my lips brushed his as I spoke.

"Are you?" I smiled when I felt his shoulders tense. "Sure that is?"

He let out a low rumbling in his chest seconds before he sealed his lips against mine and I lost the ability to think and breathe.


	35. Unknown Origins

_I'm going to take some liberties with the history of some canon alien species. Flame me if you so wish. Otherwise…enjoy :)_

* * *

After Mac succeeded in completely sweeping me off my feet, both literally and metaphorically, I managed to walk back to my quarters on wobbly feet. Oh he'd healed them perfectly fine; I was just still on cloud nine after the thoroughness of his kisses. Yes upon second and third thought the idea of forming another relationship beyond that of just making out like a teenager scared me spitless I figured since nothing in life was guaranteed, as reiterated by my latest encounter, I might as well live it up. Besides, Caiden would like Mac.

Wow that dream-boat of a man could kiss! And, merciful heaven, he wanted to kiss me A LOT. I hadn't felt this giddy, or confident, in my own quite latent sex appeal since James towards the latter part of my stay onboard the other Enterprise. This was a welcome change to the frustration of so much uncertainty and fear.

"Brenna ko'fu."

My mind managed snap from the heavens in time for me to avoid walking into Spock Prime's chest. He looked amused and concerned at the same time. I immediately remembered seeing him in the corridor near sick bay. I knew he'd probably wanted to be in sick bay with the others when I'd explained everything, but he'd kept his distance, understanding his new role in this new reality. My heart really bled for him. Not only was he an elderly member of a near extinct race, but he was a misplaced elderly member. That being said, I'm quite sure he's still got a few baby making moves in him if need be.

"Osa-mekh!" I reached out and touched his forearm, refraining from hugging him in the corridor. "Have I got a tale to tell you."

He raised his eyebrow, "I do not believe that I could guess what you are about to tell me."

"Nope." I tugged at his sleeve. "Come on in and have some tea."

I walked into my quarters and immediately ordered tea. While Spock sat down with his mug I went and changed into my own clothes again—hospital gowns are only so comfortable for so long; though thank goodness the ones in this century don't have open backs. When I came back Spock looked a little perturbed himself and I hadn't even told him anything yet.

"What's bothering you Spock?" I plopped down across from him, seizing my mug and immediately sipping at it.

"I do not know if I should inform you of what occurred in your absence before you report where you disappeared to or if I should wait."

"Well, do you think it is directly linked to my disappearance?"

He nodded, "I believe it to be."

"Well then let me go first then you can have your turn over the next round of tea."

He raised an amused eyebrow—yes I added the amused part but with Spock Prime I could sense concealed emotions whereas in this other version of Spock I could only sense misunderstandings and frustrations. He remained quiet and only raised his eyebrow again when I didn't immediately begin. Sheesh, Mac's kisses really scrambled my brain! I can't even manage to think without getting totally distracted and being rendered mute.

It didn't take as long to tell Spock about what was going on, mostly because he was already quite familiar with the major players of the story. He didn't seem any more impressed with the truth than the others, but he also didn't seem as surprised. It was only after I'd finished that he moved, finishing off his tea and standing to refill both our mugs.

"Well," I waited until he sat down again, "what did you have to tell me?"

Spock blew on his tea to cool it off before taking a tentative sip, "In your absence Q appeared in my quarters."

My mouth fell open and I only barely kept myself from spouting the very questions he was about to answer without me having to ask them. I'd learned to shut up until prompted when talking with Spock; he, unlike some, was usually quite thorough with his explanations and rarely needed further prompting from me.

"He informed me of this 'master plot' of destruction for the Q Continuum and of his part in your initial abduction and placement onboard the Enterprise. I will admit that at first I was skeptical of his motives for telling me all this until," Spock looked down at his tea as he continued to speak. "Brenna, it appears that you were chosen to aid the Q because you have what is called the ATA gene. This gene is directly linked to the Q continuum and has been passed down through the generations to you."

I think my ears began to ring because surely I didn't hear him right. Spock sensed my bewilderment and quickly continued.

"When I say generations it appears to be at the beginning of human of life on earth." I snorted but Spock had the poise to continue past my less than mature noises. "This genetic link connects you to an ancestor had been human, as many of the Q were once, but who ascended to a higher plane of existence and was accepted into the Q Continuum by already existing members from other species of sentient beings. It is quite fascinating but what we did not understand before is that the Q are not one species, though collectively on this other plane of existence they have formed their own species. They are instead a collective, if you will, of hundreds of different species, all with one thing in common. The ability to ascend and gain what we call Q powers."

Spock looked like he wanted to continue to discuss the origins of the Q but perhaps he noticed that my eyes were glazed and my mouth gaping open because there's no way in hades I'm related to the Q Continuum.

"Brenna, I understand that you disbelieve these facts, perhaps that is why Q informed me instead of you. He understood that coming from him you would only view this information as yet another trick, whereas from me you may be more likely to believe it."

I shook my head, "No, I'm still not believing it, even if you're telling it to me. He still told you, and he's about as trustworthy as a snake." I couldn't sit still anymore and so surged to my feet and set about pacing around the table. "Okay, let's just say what he says is correct, then why haven't any other members of my family been able to 'ascend' to this higher plane of existence? How could that VERY distant relative have any influence on my genetics or abilities to aid the Q Continuum? If he, or she, existed at the dawn of human time then I'm not the only descendant. Why not choose my brother? Or any number of my cousins? Also, why choose me in my time when, since time has no meaning to the Q, he could've picked one of my kickass uncles who fought in wars and such?"

I probably would've continued to ramble on and on about nonsense if I had bothered to breathe in all that. Since I hadn't, and I had been pacing rather quickly in circles, I grew light headed and ended up slipping down to the floor by Spock's chair before I could catch myself on the table. He bent down and picked me up, sitting me on the chair next to him, and only letting go of my shoulders once I grabbed hold of the table for support.

"Brenna, I cannot answer those questions. My answers would only be speculations. Q holds the answers. When he contacts you again, when this war is over, you should ask him those questions. Though I will suggest that you pause between questions."

His humor made me smile despite my stupor. So I was related to the Q Continuum. No wonder the R.E.D. organization wanted me; no wonder they'd planted Patricia; no wonder Q had been so kind with taking care of Caiden; no wonder…no wonder…no wonder. Damn! And here I thought my life couldn't get any more complicated or screwy!

"I wonder if he's alive." Spock raised his eyebrow and I sighed. "You know, my ancestor. Since the Q don't die I'm sure he, or she, is still somewhere out in the universe. And since they're related, if we got our family traits from them, then he or she is probably causing hell wherever they are."

Spock nodded, "Most likely."

I smirked and lightly punched Spock's arm. Q was correct in his assumption that coming from Spock I'd take this better. Of course, I'm still in shock and not at all happy about all the manipulations that have occurred in my life—I feel very much like a chess piece at the moment—but coming from Spock I was less likely to have an aneurism.

"Do you wish to be alone?"

I shook my head, "You're going to be leaving in only a matter of hours," it'd grown late in the time he'd been in my quarters, "so I'd rather we play chess or something to pass the time. Unless you want to go meditate or sleep before you leave."

Spock pondered the suggestion a moment before he decided to remain. It was a comfort to have him near me, especially now that my very existence had been turned upside down, around, and upright again. I lost every game we played, of course, but at least he was good company. We spoke of lighter subjects, my visits with Caiden in the future once everything settled, proper terminology that I should teach Caiden for when he did visit, the possibility of Spock having to father some more children—this particular subject had me in stitches—and so forth.

Neither one of us slept before it was time for him to transport over to the starbase with the others. I accompanied him back to his quarters where he packed up his meager belongings and again I escorted him to the transporter bay. I didn't hide my tears when it came time for him, one of the last Vulcans on board, to disembark. Spock, Kirk, and Mac were there as well. I didn't refrain from hugging the air out of Spock Prime, nor whispering my affection for him during our embrace. Spock Prime, for his part, did return my hug and nodded at my affectionate terms. He saluted Spock and shook Kirk's hand when he turned his gaze on Mac I sensed a tension pass between them but both men nodded and the moment passed. Spock Prime stepped onto the pad.

"Live long and prosper." He saluted us all, shooting me with the closest thing to a smile a Vulcan can have. I saluted in return, whispering, "You too osa-mekh," before he disappeared.

Turning back and facing the other three men in my life, aside from Q and Caiden, I felt the weight of the situation fall back on my shoulders and I slumped. Mac stepped forward and took my elbow, sensing my fatigue. Without a word of explanation he took me back to my quarters, helped me dress in my pajamas—he chuckled at the designs—and tucked me into bed. I still had a few hours before I was due on shift. He took off his shoes and crawled in beside me, pulling my body across his. Sleep dragged me down within seconds of hearing his heart.


	36. When Fiction Becomes Fact

_I'm going to apologize now for how long it's taken me to update. I'm also going to warn you that this chapter will be dealing with shifting ideas of existence and realities. It will be fairly philosophical in nature, which may give some a headache while delighting others. Again I've taken liberties with the histories of certain creatures and as of now I've connected a number of different things that perhaps you never really expected to be connected. Well I'll shut up so you can enjoy!_

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There was a strange humming sound, gradually building in intensity, and quite close to my head. It was the type of humming that could make even the most patient of sleepers pissed off. That was how I woke up, pissed off and confused.

I suppose I should've been more surprised to find that I was no longer sleeping in my bed onboard the _Enterprise_ but was instead sprawled on a grassy knoll surrounded by tall evergreens, but after so many years of dealing with Q I didn't react with much more than a sighed curse. I'd woken up in worse places, wearing less clothing, and surrounded by worse beings than trees. In comparison, this was actually tame.

At first glance, I could not detect any signs of anyone else and shook my head as I stood and brushed myself off. If Mac woke up with me missing again he was going to be one irate doctor. A slight breeze brought the smell of blossoms from somewhere off in the woods, and made me wish I had something more significant on than my blue and white cloud pajamas. I didn't even have shoes on. Couldn't Q have waited until I was awake and fully dressed?

The humming increased and I turned to find myself facing a rather large oval that looked vaguely familiar, though I couldn't pinpoint why. It was metallic and looked to have a platform of sorts at the base from which the oval circled out of and touched at the top, creating an arc that the Romans would've loved. Through the oval I could see another platform with an equally circular object standing on it, again looking slightly familiar but still no major light bulb lit up in my head.

"Brenna!" The sound of Kirk's voice startled me and I fell backwards, rolling down the hill. When I settled and looked up I found his hand hovering in my face, a smirk on his. He was wearing a blue t-shirt and black sleep pants, equally barefooted. "I didn't know you were here." He helped me up and went to assist me in brushing off but I shooed his hands away. "Sorry about startling you."

I shrugged, "Eh, I'm just glad that I'm not alone this time around." I looked at him quizzically for a second before I reached out and pinched his arm. When he yelped in response I smiled, "Just making sure you were real."

"I just helped you up, of course I'm real." He rubbed over the now red spot and frowned. "You were just looking for a way to get back at me for….something."

"Was I that transparent?"

We stood looking around us at the trees for a moment longer, the silence of the forest both calming and eerie. From our position at the bottom of the knoll we could see just the top of the oval. I asked if he'd seen anyone else but he shook his head no. In fact, as he'd been wandering around the forest before finding me, he'd seen no sign of life aside from some animal tracks here and there.

"Do you think Q brought us here?" Kirk rubbed the back of his neck as he spoke, looking tired even without having done anything yet.

"Most likely, though I am not about to hazard a guess as to why. I mean that oval thingy up there looks familiar but I can't for the life of me remember where or why it would." I pointed up the knoll at the oval, which was now humming louder.

Kirk started to make his way up the knoll, "Well it's obviously man-made. Have you looked at that platform on the other side yet?" When I shook my head he sighed, "And I thought you were the curious sort."

"Well I usually am when I'm not rolling down hills."

He chuckled as he walked up to the platform at the base of the oval and began inspecting it. I circled around and made my way to the other platform. I walked up the few steps and gazed down at the brownish looking disc. It was thick and old looking and yet, despite its age, it looked like it was still in use of sorts. There were strange marking on each divided section of the disc with a large orangeish orb in the middle.

"This looks like some sort of control device for that thingy." I called over to Kirk, glancing up to see him on the steps at the base standing directly in the middle pushing one of the sides of the oval. "Are you trying to see if you can roll down the hill too?"

Kirk smirked at me, "I'm trying to get up there to look more closely at the markings on this thing. I just keep sliding down."

I chuckled and looked back down at the disc. Suddenly some of the markings began to turn orange, the humming increased, and the mental light bulb in my head finally lit. I launched myself off the platform and barreled towards Kirk. He looked up just as my body made contact, his breath coming out of him in a rush as we went sailing backwards. Just as we landed, the oval erupted into a flood of energy, bursting forth on the opposite side of where we'd landed.

"What the hell?" Kirk grunted from beside me on the ground, my body having sprawled across his. "How did you know that would happen?" He was watching over my shoulder, the blue, fluid like center of the oval glow.

I rolled off him and also stared at the stargate, as I now remembered what it was. Spock's words to me the night before, the supposed connection between me and a member of the Q continuum, bounced around in my head, along with over a dozen other questions. Could it be possible that the stargate was real, that the Ancients were real, that the Q continuum was real? Were they not only real but also connected? Could it be possible that all science fiction and fantasy worlds that I so enjoyed watching and wasting time over the years with were in some fashion real, just alternate realties that somehow, someway, made their way into the imaginations of a movie maker or author?

"Brenna? Are you hurt? You're crying." I felt Kirk scoot closer to me, an arm coming to rest around my shoulders.

I reached up and touched my cheek and sure enough there were tears streaking down my face. Hurt? Was I hurting? How did one describe a shift in their understanding of their existence? Perhaps what I was feeling now was akin to how I made James and the others feel when I first arrived on the_ Enterprise_ over seven years ago, arrogantly declaring that they were all fictional. How did one cope with realizing that they too could actually be a "fictional" character? Perhaps I too was just part of someone's imagination, my existence, my reality, only somehow interpreted into another reality for others to twistedly enjoy watching or reading. I suddenly felt naked, small, and pissed off.

Voices now came from the other side of the oval, and though we couldn't see through the fluid-like center, I already had a list of possibilities for who could be on the other side. I knew I only had a matter of moments to give Kirk a game plan before the energy dissipated and we would be seen by either a SG team or worse.

"Ok Kirk I need you to listen to me and don't question. Last night I found out that I am somehow related to the Q continuum." He looked like he was about to question but I glared at him. "No questions! I know what that thing is because I've seen it before in," I pondered briefly if I should include him in the "reality" of the fact that we had just been transported to another "fictional" world, "dreams and visions over the years. I think Q has been preparing me for meeting my ancestor for some time now and it is here where I will meet him, or her. In any case, there are going to be people on the other side of that thing, they will either be humans, or creatures that will try to kill us. If they're humans they will still most likely take us captive until we can prove that we are no threat. They are from my time on Earth but they are not from my Earth. I'm sure you're familiar with the idea of alternate realties?" His eyes looked glazed but bless his heart he nodded. "Well I need you to promise me that at no time will you say that you are a starship captain, or mention any of the names of your crew."

"Why?" He helped me stand, his eyes darting between the still glowing oval and me.

"Because in this reality they know about your reality but to them it is a myth. I'm only now beginning to realize that many alternate realities are actually aware of each other but what they believe are myths or fake are actually real. That is the case here. They know about your story and your people but to them it is fake. If you try to tell them that it is real or that is who you really are then we will be royally screwed." I took a deep breath to try to center my thoughts but found I only succeeded in swallowing air and feeling the urge to burp. "Just follow my lead. Try not to tell blatant lies but also don't let out too much information. It is okay for us to say we are from the future, they've dealt with that before, but again just follow my lead okay?" By this time the oval fell silent and I felt my stomach unclench only slightly when I saw that it was an SG team. I reached down and took Kirk's hand, squeezing it and earning a reassuring squeeze in return.

"Now there's something I've never seen." The closest soldier had spotted us and trained his weapon on us. I didn't recognize him. "Who are you? Where did you come from?"

The other members of the team also turned and I felt my knees buckle when I recognized the rest of the team. I realized that I still hadn't spoken when Colonel O' Neill lowered his glasses to peer at us in curiosity. I took note of Carter already coming around closer on our right, with Teal'c flanking around on our left. Daniel Jackson stood near O' Neill, also staring at us and most likely our outfits, in complete wonderment.

"I am Brenna Jones and this is my friend James Kirke." I felt Kirk squeeze my hand in surprise but I continued. "I know it's hard to believe but we are humans. We were transported here by an alien who is a member of what you understand to be the Ancients."

"Kirk? Like Star Trek Kirk?" O' Neill seemed to have gotten stuck on Kirk's name. Kirk jerked a little at my side but said nothing. "Interesting outfit for such a long trip."

"You're saying an Ancient brought you here?" Daniel was stepping onto the platform of the stargate and stared down at us. "They don't normally interact with mortals. Why would they bring you here?"

Before I could respond, the earth directly behind me erupted, sending Kirk and I flying in opposite directions. I landed beside an equally stunned Carter while Kirk was somewhere near Teal'c on the other side. He looked up to make sure I was unharmed and I nodded in response before I looked up to find a number of Goa'uld fighters circling back over.

"So much for the element of surprise." I heard O' Neill drawl. "Are you working with those guys?" He yelled from his position beside the eye.

"What? Hell no!" I growled out as Carter grabbed my shirt and hauled me closer to the eye as well, her eyes darting between the sky and me. "I didn't even know those bastards were here."

"You know who they are?" Carter eyed me suspiciously.

"I told you before, I was brought here by an Ancient. If I'm not completely ignorant of the Ancients then it'd be logical that I'm not completely ignorant of the Goa'uld."

"Well we can play twenty questions later. Let's get out of here!" O' Neill jumped to his feet and headed for the tree line, the rest of us close behind.

As we ran through the trees towards what I assumed was their original target, I tried but failed to keep a smile from creeping across my face. I never would've in my wildest dreams, even from before my first trip onboard the_ Enterprise_, have imagined that I'd be fleeing from the Goa'uld with the SG-1 team, James T. Kirk of the starship _Enterprise _by my side_. _I definitely think that it's time for that CAT scan I've been putting off.


	37. Blowing Stuff Up

Never a dull moment-that would be how I would describe the last eight years of my life. From the moment I'd been electrocuted into a fictional reality—thanks mostly to Q of course-to my current situation-sitting in a cave with the SG-1 team with James T. Kirk at my side, again thanks to Q-it'd been a roller coaster of events.

I'd found out the bitch who stole my fiancé was actually a time traveling cop-like creature who made Doctor Who look like a newb; I'd fallen for James on board the original _Enterprise_ and gotten pregnant with my wonderful son Caiden, but before his birth had been thrown from one reality to another according to Q's whims, meeting and bonding with dozens of people and creatures, all of whom may or may not remember me should I ever meet them again. Now here I am, possibly someone else's figment of imagination, aware that there was a very strong possibility that all fictional worlds are real and perhaps my own is equally as real, and fake, as the rest of them.

"So you're trying to tell me that you are the descendant of an Ancient, though you have yet to determine who or if they are still alive, and that you and your friend Kirk were brought here in order to find this ancestor of yours but that you didn't know that this planet was in the middle of a warzone with the Goa'uld, nor did you know that our team was arriving today?" O' Neill was leaning against the side of the cave near the entrance, looking just as incredulous as he sounded.

I brought myself from my musings and glanced over at Kirk. He kept quiet for the moment, though he seemed impressed with my ability to fib around facts and improvise—oh he hadn't seen me really get started yet. I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. Obviously he was too preoccupied with trying to keep up on the names and terms tossed around to think about anything else.

"Well Colonel we've already known that there are a number of humans with the ATA gene, it isn't entirely impossible that she is at least telling the truth about being a descendent." Carter spoke up from where she sat to my left.

"How do you explain the unfortunate coincidence between our arrival, their arrival, and the arrival of our Goa'uld friends then?" He looked back out the cave and scanned the area, his hands never having left his gun in some fashion since I'd first seen him.

I sighed and scratched my head, "I can't explain the coincidence of our arrival times. Kirk and I had only just gotten adjusted to arriving when the stargate activated and you lot jumped out. Like I said before, we hadn't seen or heard of any other life forms beside ourselves before you guys showed up. We're just as surprised as you are."

"I've never even seen a Goa'uld before." Kirk spoke up then and I winced. "So I'm just as surprised as you are."

Already he'd nearly given away our status as alternate reality beings and had just started to reference Spock when I'd managed to step on his toe to shut him up. What the SG-1 team knew, or believed, about us so far was that we were from Earth, but from their future, had been brought there by an Ancient, and that we were trying to contact the Ancient again in order to go home.

We did not know why we'd been brought to this particular time or place but that we were willing to aid the SG team if they needed it but that we were also not spies or there to sabotage their mission. Only Daniel seemed to fully believe us, with Carter close behind. O' Neill remained the skeptic I expected him to be while the other soldier, by the name of Jones, had disappeared with Teal'c some time before to scout out something and had yet to form an opinion on us.

Before anyone could question Kirk on his lack of Goa'uld knowledge, Jones came trotting back in, looking much worse than when he'd left.

"Where's Teal'c?" O'Neill was looking past the man.

"We found the crystals but were caught. Teal'c kept them off me so I could give these back to Dr. Jackson." Jones pulled out some blueish looking crystals and gently handed them to Daniel.

O'Neill frowned at the object, "No doubt he's expecting to die a warrior's death." He suddenly looked down at his gear, double checking everything. Carter began following suit without question. Daniel tucked away the crystals before he too pulled out his pistol and made sure everything was in order. "Let's go make sure he doesn't get one."

"Wait." The group paused and looked back at Kirk and I, "What can we do to help?" O'Neill eyed my pajamas and I winced, "I know we aren't armed but we can still help."

"Perhaps as a diversion." Kirk suggested. I glared at him out of the corner of my eye for the very suggestion I'd been trying to avoid.

O'Neill's eyes narrowed and I saw his lips draw into that sardonic smile I'd always thought was sexy. I knew now, however, that that smile meant I was about to be thrust into the middle of danger. Kirk and I, in O'Neill's eyes, were expendable. Hence, it was our job to basically waltz into the middle of the Goa'uld compound sometime later, set off some charges, and then run around like chickens with our heads cut off, making as much ruckus and causing as much damage as possible while the rest rescued Teal'c and made it back to the gate.

Successful plan? If you count getting shot in the leg with a Goa'uld weapon successful then yes. I had to basically carry Kirk out of the compound once we managed to set off the last of the charges without us also getting blown to smithereens. We rendezvoused with O'Neill and the rest of the SG team at the stargate, pissed off Jaffa close on our heels.

Of course, being SG-1, hell continued to break loose even with the stargate—supposed gateway to safety—opened. Something I couldn't pronounce or fully understand apparently was malfunctioning and the stargate wouldn't close without someone staying behind to manually close it. As luck would have it, again Kirk and I were expendable in O'Neill's eyes.

"Nothing personal." O'Neill had already sent the wounded Teal'c and Jones through and now he stood with his gun pointed towards Kirk and myself, Carter placing the last of the charges against the DHD, while Daniel hovered uncomfortably to the side. "But I still don't buy your story and we ain't got the time to prove it one way or another."

"Colonel I really don't think-"

"That's right, you don't Daniel, and that's why we're in this situation in the first place!" O'Neill spat at Daniel, his eyes darting between us and the tree line. "If you'd kept the crystals locked down then we wouldn't have had to come all the way out here to get them again now would we? Carter how are we doing down there?"

"Just about set." She suddenly stood and walked forward, handing Kirk the trigger device. "Make sure you're well enough away when you press that button."

Kirk glared daggers at her, "I know my way around explosives."

She grimaced but nodded, grabbing her gun and retreating behind O'Neill's back. She obviously didn't agree with O'Neill's decision either but O'Neill was correct. They didn't have the time to argue about us and our fate. I actually couldn't blame O'Neill nor did I hold malice towards him. In this reality, they were the more important characters and their success was more vital than our whoopsy appearance.

"Get outta here O'Neill." I gave him a small smile. "Maybe see ya around sometime."

His eyes hardened but he gave a quick nod before he grabbed Daniel, the most reluctant to leave, and basically threw him through the gate before he too stepped through, Carter having gone before them. Kirk and I didn't wait for the Jaffa to arrive or the gate to finishing closing before we took off towards the opposite tree line. Once safe within its borders, Kirk flipped the switch.

"Shit!" He pushed the button again but again nothing happened. As he continued to mess around with the trigger I scanned the area where the Jaffa would soon pour through, no sign of them yet. "A wire must've come loose on the charge." My gaze flew back to his face. I knew he was thinking about going over and resetting the wire but upon doing that the charge would most likely immediately explode.

"No way Jose. You're the captain and I don't even technically exist in your reality. If anyone is going over there to get blown up it's gonna be me." I grabbed for the trigger but he held it just out of reach. "Come on James give me the trigger!"

"You're a mother, Brenna; I can't let you do that. I am a captain and therefore I am more qualified for this sort of job-"

Knowing he was about to debate who was more suitable for sacrifice, I stood and high tailed it back to the platform before he could continue. Of course, given my luck, it was just at this moment in time that the Jaffa finally arrived. My sprint was made more "entertaining" with newly made holes, courtesy of Jaffa weapons as they tried to end my life.

Though I had no idea what I was looking for on the charge, I still jumped up and began pressing and pushing at anything I could reach, doing my best to hide my body behind the disc as much as possible, figuring the Jaffa didn't want to risk damaging the only technology that could take them after their bigger prey.

I was prepared to die. I'd faced death at least three times within the last week, and many times before that, and now, if anything, I was tired of always have to go through the peak of survival only to face death again. Q had brought us here for a reason and if that reason was to strand Kirk in the Stargate universe, kill me, and leave the _Enterprise _without a captain then perhaps that was what it should be. If that was what would end the war against the Q, or Ancients, then que sera sera.

"You also don't know what the hell you're looking for." Kirk's voice was suddenly in my ear and I was jerked off the platform, thrown back.

I landed on my butt just behind the disc and watched as Kirk found the wire and readjusted it. He leveled his gaze on me and in a Matrix-like moment, I watched as the disc exploded behind him. Everything slowed down then; I felt the fire and the pressure of the explosion pinning me to the melted ground, and I watched as the flames licked closer and closer to me, having already enveloped Kirk, but I didn't feel fear. I only felt empty. If this was the end of me then perhaps it was how I needed to be ended. A woman who thought she was real now destroyed in a reality she had thought was purely fictional after years of traveling through equally fictional realities.

_I love you Caiden… _


	38. Figuring Stuff Out,Obviously Not Dead

_Thank you so much for your reviews and support so far! Oh, I'm not going to put this under a cross-over section because after this chapter it's going to be just from the Star Trek perspective. Thank you for being patient with me as I bounce around from one time line to another—also as I take freaking forever to update. Hope you enjoy this bit of ADD-ness._

* * *

_Those aren't angels singing..._

"What gives you the right to try to stop it? We took a vow long ago to stay out of their affairs."

_Shit…I'm not dead._

"This coming from you of all Ancients? Miss Let-me-take-the-child-of-the-enemy-and-raise-him-t o-be-good?"

_Not only am I not dead, but I get to wake up to a confusing argument. Just peachy._

"That is different from what you've been doing with her. You've been torturing her Q, dragging her around after you, forcing her to live multiple lives, always exposing her to danger, and all this while she has a child, who should not exist!"

_Now don't start talking about my son that way bitch, or whoever you are. When will I start being able to move again? Any day now would be nice. I'd like to punch this lady in the throat…once I can move._

"I've been training her for this moment, and you've been no help whatsoever Oma. Our people have been under attack and you've only focused on helping the one string of reality while the rest of us have been fighting for all strings. Her son is proof of not only her link to the Continuum but also of the hope for a better Continuum. We thought all was lost, that none could be born within the Continuum that were not Q already, that'd we'd have to depend upon ascension for new blood, but look at him? He's thriving and she's still living. All the realities are linked Oma, they are all important enough to be saved."

_There, my hands can move. Who the hell is Oma? What on earth is Q talking about? Where the hell am I? Why do I feel like I actually have no body and my twitching "hands" are only an imagined sensation?_

"That would be because you don't have a corporeal body unless you choose to create one Brenna." Q's voice was bored and I "jerked" in response. "Yes, we can 'hear' your thoughts. You'd be able to communicate like a 'normal' person if you wanted to."

It took me a moment before I managed to do the non-corporeal equivalent to clearing my throat, "What's going on Q? What happened? Where's James?"

"You're friend is safely back aboard his ship where he belongs." Oma, the woman I'd wanted to throttle-and who had probably been privy to that desire now that I thought about it—spoke up before Q could answer. "He and his crew no longer know of your existence and all is as it should be."

If I'd had a stomach it would've churned at her words. As is, even in non-corporeal form, I felt as if the world around me had shifted and fallen into darkness. Mac…he didn't know me now? I'd only just come to terms with moving past James and onto Mac, begun to warm up to the idea of Mac as a step-father to my son, and accepted the fact that it was perfectly normal for me to move on beyond my past and into the hope of the present. I didn't know how much time passed between anguish and rage but one moment I was mourning the loss of yet another loved one and the next I was wishing I'd had corporeal hands to wring around this bitch's neck.

"You may not want to squeeze too tightly; she is your great-great-great, and many more greats, grandmother after all." Q chuckled at my shock. "Don't tell me you were wishing that I was your ancestor?" He was assuming wrong but I couldn't find the words to fight him at the moment, "Oh how sweet Brenna. Well, if it smooths over the disappointment, you'll be happy to know that at one point in time your grandmother and I were a thing."

The woman sucked in a sharp breath, "We were no such thing Q." I felt more than saw her turn her attention from Q to me. "He is correct, however, in that you are my descendant."

Confused? Yes I am. Pissed? Oh hell yes I am. Know what to say or do next? Nope.

"You were talking about Caiden, about a link or something?" I latched onto the parts of the earlier argument that I could remember clearly, trying to keep my mind occupied well away from reality—which is that I don't have a human body, for all I know I'm a floating, glowing, goo-ball, the man I love doesn't know I exist anymore, and the once all-powerful beings of the universe are now being killed off like Clue characters.

"Supposedly, Ancients can only become Ancients, or Q as you have become more acquainted with, by ascension. This is a slow, and if I may say so, boring process that involves lots of yoga postures, meditation, chants, and touchy, bittersweet mumbo jumbo. Also supposedly, a non-ascended person from one string of reality should not be able to exist in not only one but dozens of different realities and retain not only their sanity but also the essence of their soul, or whatever you call that thing inside you that makes you you. And again supposedly, this same non-ascended person should not be able to successfully copulate with another non-ascended person from a different reality."

Q's words, for as convoluted as they were, were making things more clear to me. He had taken me, a descendent of an ascended Ancient-whatever the hell that meant-and had conducted a grand experiment on me. He was proving a point to the rest of the Continuum, or whoever cared to listen/watch, and I was his proof. Where I thought he was just getting his rocks off on torturing me and putting me through difficult times, he was actually trying to see if I'd finally snap and show that he was indeed wrong or right. And as for Caiden…he'd manipulated me into a situation where he knew I would succumb to temptation and Caiden had been the result. My son and I were nothing more than pawns in a game Q had been playing. My son's existence had been a gamble, my sanity one as well.

Again, one moment I was wallowing in self-pity as things clarified and I realized I wasn't nearly as central or in control of my own story as I'd thought, the next I wanted nothing more than to help Q's enemies destroy him.

"What were you trying to prove Q? I'm not about to appeal to your humanity, as it is clear to me more than ever before that you are not capable of feeling anything that does not benefit you."

"Well my dear, now dead, girl," if I'd had lungs they would've frozen at his words, "I was proving that this space between Q and humans, between Ancients and humans, need not be. That humans don't need to ascend before they can connect across time and space. That humans don't need to ascend before they become worth our time or interest," He'd turned his attention to Oma at that part before returning it to me, "You may not believe me when I say that I was doing all this for the benefit and not the detriment of humanity. The Q and Ancients may be the target right now, dear Brenna, but once we're gone, nothing will stop the tide that will inevitably come and wash over your galaxy, destroying all realities one and the same."

A chill spread through whatever the hell I was and I knew that what he was saying was right. Yes, he'd been a class A bastard with how he'd gone about proving his point but at least the point had been proven and now...

"So who's really attacking? Now that you've proven you're point, what's going to happen?"

Oma shifted her "substance," and I knew what she was about to say would suck, "They were once like we are-"

"Annoying, know-it-alls who push and prod others into positions that better serve you?" I couldn't stop myself and I knew I'd made Q happy with my comment.

"They are called the Ori now." She continued as if I'd never spoken. "They are destroyers of galaxies. They feed off of this destruction and while this will inevitably lead to their own destruction, until all galaxies and realities are destroyed, they will not stop."

"So that means…what?"

"That means, darling Brenna, that we are going to launch an attack on multiple planes of existence, fully engage them across the board, so that we can truly repel them. Again that is where you and Caiden come in handy."

"Why?" I really didn't like the idea of involving Caiden but he was already involved in some fashion and I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop it.

"Because you two can pass through realities in much the same way we can but you have the added advantage of not being fully ascended. The Ori will not suspect or detect either of you as they would us."

"What are you going to have us do?"

"Caiden will work with Oma, it's about time the lad got to know his grandma anyway, and you'll work with me. They'll rouse the SG teams to the battle cry while we rustle up the starship captains. We'll converge at Farscape, near the Babylon system, and there we will create a tear between the realities. The starship captains and SG teams will do what they do best, kick bad guy ass, and the Ori will be cast out of the galaxy."

He lost me at some of the more detailed parts but it sounded like a basic, cock-eyedly optimistic plan that would lead to either a heroic victory or devastating defeat, only we didn't have Hollywood ensuring our survival.

"That doesn't answer what the hell I'm actually supposed to do. You've described a foolhardy plan but haven't mentioned how we're actually going to commence with it."

Oma shifted closer and I felt something akin to pride shiver through me coming from her, "Perhaps you are more connected to me after all."

"Why? Because I also think that Q's an egotistical maniac who's likely either going to plan out the survival or destruction of our existence?" I would've sighed but again, non-corporeal, so didn't need to, "But seriously Q, what am I going to be doing?"

If he'd had hands I know he would've clapped them together in glee, "I think it's time for a little reunion don't you agree?"

I felt a shiver of dread mixed with hope flow through my "ball" of non-coporealness at the mental image of what sort of reunion he had in mind. Most likely an awkward, not easy to believe, likely to end in violence one—not unlike my old family reunions actually.


	39. The First Reunion

_Thank you again for support and patience. Just an FYI, in this chapter you'll notice an *, +, and ~. The * refers to another OC and stories I've written involving certain characters from Enterprise called "Dreamscape" as well as "Return of the Dreamscape," if you are interested in pursuing that rabbit hole. The + refers to a SL that I've dreamed up but have yet to write up, stay tuned for that. And the ~ refers to the writer's of Star Trek:Enterprise's proposed 5th season SL arc and not just my overactive imagination. Enjoy! Feel free to flame or encourage me, I welcome both!_

* * *

It was a harebrained scheme, and one that I probably wouldn't escape from unscathed, but with no other options I followed through with Q's instructions—vague though they were. He would hover nearby, as was his usual tendency, and watch as I did what I did best, bumble my way through explanations and implorations. Hopefully he would be willing to step in if I needed added evidence that what I said was true—he didn't often do that, sadly, so I didn't have my hopes up.

It was odd, being here again, after so many years. Everything looked the same, though I was seeing it all with different eyes. The hum of this particular ship, so unlike the later versions, was still the same, and these quarters were still decorated in much the same fashion as before. I supposed that it would be seen as odd, hovering over the sleeping body of the captain of the ship, but what about my existence wasn't odd? I sighed and reached out, nudging his shoulder. There was no point in procrastinating the inevitable awkwardness that was surely to follow.

It took a moment or two after my initial nudge before the man stirred enough to roll over and glare up at me, a phase pistol clutched in his hand. _Since when did he start sleeping with a weapon_, was my first thought, but I didn't move and watched as confusion then surprise warred in his sleepy gaze.

"Brenna?" He sounded more than a little confused and I couldn't blame him. It had been over four years, by my reckoning, since I'd last seen him. "Is that really you?"

I nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of my lips, "Um yeah, it's me." I held up a peace sign with my right hand. "Surprise? Now could you not shoot me?" Such an amazing opening line Brenna, what other tidbits of awesomeness do you have hidden away?

"What are you doing here?" He slowly sat up, the pistol still trained on me despite my previous reassurance. "How did you get here?"

"Well, if you would let me sit down, I'd explain everything, as best I can." When he didn't move I sighed, "Come on Jonathan I'm not some ghost, I'm not some temporal operative, and I'm not about to attack you or hurt the ship."

His voice was thick as he replied, "How am I supposed to believe that you really are who you say you are? You disappeared without any trace of ever existing more than four years ago." He continued to blink away the sleep, though his aim never wavered.

I growled, "What am I supposed to do to prove myself? Show you the scar I got from saving your ass when those Klingons decided that they'd wanted a piece of you after you made 'flirtatious' advances towards their woman?" He looked ready to argue but I continued, "Lift your shirt and I'll point out the scar you got when you saved me from the Romulan warlord who'd fancied himself inclined to kidnap me for nefarious purposes? Or should we call Trip in here so I can point out the scar he got when Shran accidentally cut him when they were scuffling in the dark of the ice cave after I inadvertently led them into the trap?"

At my last suggestion his face grew dark, "Trip is dead."

"What?" I felt the floor beneath me shift, but I knew it was just my surprise and shock playing tricks on me. How could it be possible that the very life of the original _Enterprise_ was dead? "What happened?" I sat down on the chair by his desk without asking, not caring anymore that the pistol was still pointed in my direction. "When did it happen?"

"It was about a year ago. Some pirates snuck aboard the ship, trying to track down Shran and Trip, being Trip, decided to trick them." Archer lowered the pistol but kept it in his lap. "There was an explosion. I was told by Phlox that he didn't suffer."

I mutely nodded, memories of my time onboard the _Enterprise_ with Trip flashing through my mind. He'd immediately embraced me where the others had kept me at arm's length—having family from the south had helped with that of course. Q had created a false identity for me as a MACO strategist/specialist, which had been laughable, of course, since I was no fighter at the time—even now I'm not the best but I'm certainly better than I had been then.

I'd accompanied the crew through most of the Expanse and had been privy to many of the pivotal decisions that helped shape later generations of Star Fleet. I'd argued and flirted with Shran (he'd been so much fun to flirt with, though it had taken some time to get used to the antennae), I'd bantered with Soval and had mischievously suggested that a human woman from the past was his best chance at a romantic relationship (this had been about the time Starfleet had discovered a vault holding sleeper capsules, containing what they'd thought were more Augments like Khan but what turned out to be about a dozen men and women who'd been put into cryogenic sleep to save their lives and "good" culture during the Eugenics wars-they had been various artists and philosophers-and I was referencing one woman in particular who had taken a particular interest in the Vulcan after they'd met at Starfleet headquarters+), I'd philosophized with Phlox (I liked animals too but some of his critters had just been weird), I'd giggled with Hoshi (what a gossip but she was so cute when flirting with Mayweather), I'd gotten into mischief with Trip (truly a mixture of him, Mayweather, and myself had been a force to be reckoned with), I'd been the one to realize that Malcolm was seeing a woman unbeknownst to anyone else (though I'd been just as surprised as the others when we found out that the said woman existed only in his mind, and no he wasn't crazy*), and I'd formed a mutual respect with T'Pol (I still wondered if she was perhaps half-Romulan, with all her emotional tendencies~). My friendship and mutual admiration for Archer was not to be forgotten either. During my time onboard, he'd come to see me, while not exactly a romantic interest, but most definitely as a friend and confidante. He'd vented to me and allowed me to vent to him (which I supposed shouldn't have happened, according to personnel rules and regulations with Starfleet).

I'd never revealed my "other worldliness" to them; the opportunity had never come. They'd all continued to believe that I was a rather odd but relatively efficient MACO and I'd let them. I'd disappeared soon after they'd staved off the last Xindi attack and the Temporal Cold War had ended—well at least it stopped involving the _Enterprise_. When I'd been settled in the my next "assignment," I'd quickly studied up on what had happened after I left but had never seemed to make it through all the history before I got interrupted. That was why I was surprised now, hearing of Trip's death.

"Brenna?" Archer's voice brought me back from my bittersweet nostalgia. "You plan on telling me why you're sitting in my quarters at three in the morning, four years after you disappeared?"

"About that," I raked a hand over my face and blinked away the unshed tears—I would have to mourn the loss of my friend once this was all settled, "Well Jonathan do you still have some of that Andorian ale you promised me all those years ago? I'm afraid we're going to need it."

By the time I'd explained, in brevity, who and what I was truly—though I left out the relatively important part that he was a "fictional" character in my mind because that whole discussion still gave me a headache—we'd drunk—or I'd drunk—half the bottle of ale. He still looked less than convinced, though with this new knowledge he did mention that more than a few occurrences from my time onboard now suddenly made more sense, if what I was saying was true. When I started in on the plan Q had laid out for us all he looked more than a little skeptical. Once I was finished, he looked ready to laugh, or yell, at me.

"You expect me to go off into uncharted space with a Starfleet vessel without orders from Starfleet itself? Why should I risk the lives of my crew, not to mention my career as captain? You have no proof, nothing solid for me to make this decision with." He drank the rest of his ale, his first glass, before he continued. "Surely, if you really are Brenna, you understand that I can't do that. Especially not now that the Federation is really starting to take root; the Tellerites and Andorians are finally settling down enough to work with the Vulcans to discuss trading rights within Federation borders, and don't get me started on figuring just what the hell Federation borders really are, that has got to be one of the touchiest subjects for all involved."

I nodded, "I understand my plan soundly whimsical at best." He snorted in agreement and I clenched my hands together in my lap to keep myself from reaching out and shaking him. "But you need to understand that this threat will destroy everything, the Federation, the Andorians, the Tellerites, everyone and everything that you know and understand. It is attacking on all planes of existence, in all periods of time. These beings transcend our understanding of linear time space; time makes no difference to them, and neither do alternate realities. All realities exist at the same time for them. When they attack, and it is a matter of when and not if, it will be on the broad spectrum of life until all in this galaxy, this corner of the universe, are completely destroyed. There will be no survivors. None. Zip. Zilch."

A tense moment passed, during which I counted off all the reasons why I hated that Q had left the convincing part up to me, before he replied.

"I still have no evidence that what you say is true. The only other worldwide threat we've had to face down was the Xindi, and you were there when we defeated them." He sounded as if he believed I was who I said I was, or was at least playing along.

"Jonathan," I pinched the bridge of my nose, "I can assure you that if you don't comply willingly with this plan then, no doubt about it, Q will maneuver events to such an extent that you will have no other choice."

"Are you threatening me?" His fingers touched the pistol again, though he made no move to point it directly at me, at least not yet.

"I'm not threatening you but I am warning you. You have to understand that Q is trying to not only save this galaxy but also his people. They are the ones who are being targeted right now, because they are like a flood gate to the rest of us. They are the only ones with enough power to withstand the Ori directly, but they are too few now, and their powers have been weakened from constant bombardment. Once they're gone, Jonathan, we're gone soon after."

He stood and moved to peer out the port window into the space whizzing by, "It may just take outside movement to get me to believe what you say is true." I opened my mouth to tell him all the cons of basically asking for Q to screw with him but he continued before I could. "I want to believe you Brenna. We went through enough, depended on one another enough, to make me want to believe you. But again you have to understand my reluctance, and inability, to commandeer this ship for a mission that no one can confirm is necessary."

"What if," I inwardly groaned but outwardly held firm, "what if I could bring Q to you? Would that convince you?"

Before Archer could respond, the fiend suddenly spoke up from Jonathan's bed, looking for all the world as if the bed belonged to none other than himself, "Why are you humans so dependent upon the idea of 'seeing is believing?' I thought that friendship and a formed kinship was enough to get action but it appears I was wrong." He smirked at Archer's pistol and with a snap the pistol disappeared. "Those things are useless for us, Jonathan Archer. You as a species are like pets really, at least to me. The others see you as beyond insignificant, not worth more than the speck of dust you inhabit."

Archer glanced between Q and me and, figuring I was the easier one to communicate with, he turned towards me, "You expect me to aid this, thing, after comments like that? How am I to know that the threat to them isn't just something that keeps them in check? It's obvious to me that this, thing, is entirely too bigheaded to have any altruistic thoughts, such as attempting to save the galaxy."

"Touchy human. So quick to judge the outside. Isn't that the bane of your existence? Isn't it exactly that impulsive, judgy nature that's caused you to make some of the dumbest decisions throughout your earth's history?" Q "poofed" and suddenly he was sitting at Archer's desk beside me, his feet placed on the desk and his hands behind his head. "Careful or you'll repeat your ancestor's idiocy."

Before Archer could start an argument with Q, after which he'd find himself more confused than he had been before—I know because I've done it before—I interrupted, "I know he seems like a chauvinistic bastard, and he can be from time to time," I heard Q saying something under his breath in response to my words but couldn't quite catch its meaning so I quickly continued, "but he is inadvertently trying to organize a defense against the Ori. He may not always know how to communicate with others without pissing them off," again Q started muttering to himself but I chose to ignore him this time, "but his warnings are well founded. I've seen the followers of the Ori; I've seen some of Q's people pinned down to beds, tortured and dissected as if they were nothing more than insects. If these people can do that to beings as powerful as this 'thing,' as you so eloquently described him, then just think about what they can do to us? We who lack powers anywhere near the capacity of the Q?"

Archer looked between me and Q, me with an imploring stance and Q with a 'holier than thou' glare. I could totally understand Archer's reluctance. I couldn't believe I'd just somewhat defended Q, not after all the shit he's put me through, but I had. I wouldn't take back any of what I said either. He, despite his horrific quirks, did deserve some credit.

"If, and only if, I did believe you, is it within your power to orchestrate orders for my ship to travel to those coordinates?" Archer finally spoke after a few minutes of internal deliberation.

Q raised an eyebrow, "My dear captain, I just snapped your pistol out of existence, do you really think manipulating Starfleet information will prove difficult for me?" When Archer looked ready to argue Q held up a finger, "I don't understand why it's so important for you to follow the rules, you who have always been celebrated as more of a cowboy than a Star Fleet captain, but your wish has been granted."

Suddenly Archer's computer chirped and Archer stepped closer. Q made no efforts to move, even with Archer's death glare, and so he had to reach around the omnipotent being to press a few buttons. After a moment or two of reading, he let out the breath he'd apparently been holding and he stepped back to stare down at Q in shock.

"And what, dear cowboy Archer, was that?" Q knew already what it had been but he wasn't one to let an opportunity to gloat pass him by, no matter how dire the situation.

"The _Enterprise_ has orders to investigate an unusual fluctuation in energy readings in the coordinates you," he looked over to me, "mentioned earlier."

I smiled and shrugged. I had been there once, confused and awed by the enigmatic being called Q; if Archer was exposed to him long enough, he'd grow to both love and hate him as I did.

"There!" Q snapped his fingers and suddenly he was standing beside me. "That settles that. Come on Brenna my girl, we've got other house calls to make."

Archer raised a hand but I spoke first, "Actually Q, could I stay just a little longer? I'd like to catch up, maybe reassure him that you are worth following despite your nastiness, that sort of thing?"

"You humans and sentimentality. You've got two hours, Brenna, and then you really do need to go." Q looked back to Archer and smiled. "It's been a pleasure doing business with you." He winked at Archer before with a flash he disappeared just as quickly as he'd appeared.

"You've had to live with that for how long now?" Archer spoke up a few moments after Q had disappeared.

I laughed, "About seven years, almost eight, now. He's been fairly useful in regards to taking care of Caiden though."

"Who's Caiden?"

I spent the following two hours regaling with him with my adventures since my time with him. He still seemed incredulous over the whole affair but as he could offer up no alternative to the present explanation he went along with it. Once I finished my tales, he filled in the gaps of history from his side for me. He told me how T'Pol was now working as a liaison between Star Fleet and the Vulcan High Command; how Malcom still served on board the Enterprise and was expecting a child (from his "mental" wife—we'd shared a look of confusion but also joy over this fact*); how Hoshi and Mayweather had gotten married, to the surprise of many though not Phlox; how Phlox was now the director of the Federation medical program; and how Jonathan had recently been offered the position of Ambassador between the Federation and Andoria—he hadn't quite come to a decision on the offer just yet but was still mulling it over. I was greatly surprised to find out that Soval had, in fact, married the displaced-in-time woman I'd teased him about+ and was equally surprised to hear that Shran had retired from the military and, since the events that resulted in Trip's untimely death, had begun to work even harder to bridge the cultural gaps between Andoria and the Federation by serving as a non-military consultant to the Andorian government.

The two hours flew by, as good times usually do, and it was only when it was time for me to leave that Archer made an attempt to touch me. We shared an awkward hug, awkward because we didn't quite know if it would be the very last time we'd see each other, and I kissed him on the cheek before Q snapped me off the _Enterprise_.

Once the world around me took shape again, I became aware of the fact that I again stood in the captain's quarters, though on a different ship. I heard a clattering sound behind me and turned towards it. I felt my stomach clench and my knees buckled beneath me at the sight of the figure hovering not two feet away from me.

"Brenna?" HIS voice echoed in my brain and I crumpled to the floor at the sound of it.


End file.
